To Weave a New Pattern - Chapter 4
Not all missions go the way they're supposed to. Warning for strong language and adult situations. (Author's note: this chapter is NOT a metaphor - 11-23-16. Happy Thanksgiving for those of you living in the States.)
It was less than two weeks later when Geoffrey contacted the Waverider. Rip was looking for something in one of the ship's library books while Mr. Rory poked around the collection of maps looking for a specific one that Rip had told him they would need.
Rip was seated at his desk when the call came through. He placed a worn bookmark between the pages and set the tome down. "What is it Geoffrey?"
"Captain Hunter. I need your assistance. Captain Cold has...well, it's hard to explain."
Fearing the worst, Rip asked, "Is he dead?" He felt Mr. Rory move up to stand beside him.
"No. But he is unresponsive."
"What happened to him? He get shot?" Mick had been afraid that without him to watch his partner's back that he'd get hurt.
"No. He is catatonic. Let me show you." The screen cleared and they could see Leonard Snart sitting at a black table in what looked like his office. He was not moving and it was only with Geoffrey's assurance that they knew he was still alive. His eyes were focused on nothing.
"Gideon. Get us to that ship now." Rip ordered and then warned the others that the Waverider was on the move. "What exactly caused this to happen?"
"The Elders had one job that they needed Captain Cold to complete. Out of all their recruits, he had the best chance of pulling it off. My orders were to keep the full details from him."
"Why would you do that?" Stein had come to the bridge to see why they were moving again after being promised a rest. He'd heard Geoffrey's last sentence.
"Because he would never agree to such a mission."
"Perhaps you'd better tell us the whole thing from the start." Rip turned to Mr. Rory. "You know him best; you'll have the best chance of figuring out what we should do." Rip had his own theory about what might have happened to Mr. Snart but kept quiet about it for the moment.
"My orders were to assist Captain Cold with several more missions to help him become used to his new role before tackling..."
0-0-0-0-0
Leonard looked down into the crate located in an aft bay as directed by the Iceberg's AI. "So what am I looking at exactly?"
"It is a Russian missile from the 20th century." Geoffrey was being deliberately obtuse.
"What am I expected to do with it?" Leonard was trying to figure out where this was going and came up blank. He didn't have enough data.
"You need to take four of the missiles and place them in the launch tubes."
"How?" Leonard walked up and down the length of the crate appraising the missile. There was no way he could lift it.
"Use the antigravity devices that you used to move your office furniture."
"Why didn't you tell me to bring them down in the first place," Leonard grumbled as he climbed the stairs. He went to his office and opened one of the cabinets. On a shelf was a set of small grey disks. "Why do we need these missiles anyways?"
"We are headed to 1943 Russia and may have to defend ourselves."
"And what will we be doing in Russia exactly?"
"The Elders have a very delicate mission for you. It will take exquisite timing to ensure complete success."
"Not a problem." Leonard had always had excellent timing on jobs and, now being able to work by himself, he'd found his rhythm again. "Who or what am I to mess with?"
"You are stopping a bomb from exploding."
"Huh." Leonard cocked his head to one side as he thought about it. "What do I have to do?"
"You first need to get to the North Smolensk Airport to collect a package."
"Who is the target?"
"We need to make sure that a transport plane does not go down. The staff inside are vital to history."
"Who exactly?"
"Several visiting dignitaries to Russia."
Eyes narrowed, Leonard realized that Geoffrey was putting him off.
"So how do I diffuse this bomb?"
"First, get the missiles loaded into the launch tubes and then I will teach you how to disarm the bomb."
A few hours later, Geoffrey was satisfied that Leonard would be able to disable the bomb in the limited time that he would have.
"So who are the dignitaries?" He was not going to let that go.
"These are the top aides that will be on this plane." A list scrolled across the wall screen.
Leonard had rebelled in school finding that the one place he could fight back. His father didn't push him there. After all, if his son was home, he could help on jobs. Once his father was incarcerated, Leonard had dropped out to take care of Lisa. That was when he'd become a voracious reader; he'd been driven by the need to surpass his father in heists. Museums and collections had the most expensive items and he learned history to determine what would sell best. He'd paid the bills by robbing ATMs and small stores but he'd always kept his eye out for a big haul. Dragging his attention back to the job at hand, Leonard asked, "How do they affect the war?" He didn't recognize any of the names at all.
"They are on command staff and are responsible for material in the war effort."
Leonard dragged the tablet to him and tried his own search. He felt there was something missing from Geoffrey's information. He was right. But Geoffrey controlled the ship and all its data so Leonard's search turned up only what he was allowed to see.
0-0-0-0-0
Buttoning the collar of his purser's uniform, Leonard waited at the hanger's door for the delivery. He spotted the target dressed in a German officer's uniform and approached him. "You have something for delivery?" he asked quietly. His target was sweating heavily and seemed very nervous. He started when Leonard spoke. Repeating himself, Leonard spoke again. The translator he'd swallowed a year prior was still attached to his larynx.
Looking down, the balding officer seemed surprised at the box he carried. "I need to find Officer..."
Leonard cut him off. "All officers are busy preparing for takeoff. I will deliver it for you." Using his height to advantage, Leonard stared down his mark. He had to get his hands on the package.
Nervous, the officer finally capitulated. He knew if he made too much of a fuss, they might discover what the box truly contained. He thrust it quickly into Leonard's hands. "It's two bottles of Cointreau brandy. Please be careful. It is going to a friend in Berlin." He gave the name of the intended recipient.
"Of course, sir." Leonard knew he had very little time. He left the officer and rounded the corner of the hanger. Stepping aside into the shadows, he opened the box. The plastic explosive was nestled carefully in its box. The spring was soaked with the slow-acting acid; the bomb had been activated just as Geoffrey had warned. He pulled out his tools and connected a bypass circuit so that he could remove the spring and put a new one in its place. Using needle nose pliers, the original spring was soon tossed away and in less than a minute, a new, intact one took its place. Now the bomb would not go off.
"You need to place the box in the hold now, sir, and leave."
"What's the rush?"
"There can be no suspicion on you. If someone should investigate the package and you are arrested..."
"Yeah, yeah." Leonard interrupted. He stepped out of the shadows and into the weak spring sunlight. He approached the cargo door and found the officer who, according to history, was to accept the package. "This is from Officer von Tresckow. I believe you are expecting this?" The younger officer reached out, accepted the package, and turned into the cargo hold of the Condorplane.
Once the bomb was safe, Leonard had been told to return to the Iceberg immediately. But he hated being told what to do. He left the hanger's vicinity but stayed close to see who would be boarding the plane. He took off his jacket and reversed it; now he looked like a local. Taking a hat out of his pocket, he snugged it down. He was resettling his gloves when a motorcade pulled into view.
"Captain Cold. Your tracker shows that you are still at the airfield. You need to return to the ship immediately. We must go." Geoffrey realized that his captain would not budge. This could be disastrous. "Sir. Please remember the last time you did not return in a timely manner. This ship received severe damage."
"Yes. And I learned something I wasn't supposed to. Why do I get the feeling that you're trying to keep something from me again?"
Geoffrey had no answer to that accusation since it was true.
The cars began to disgorge their passengers. Leonard could feel the rage boiling up inside as he spotted one particular man as he stepped out of his car. The only thing that stopped Leonard from jumping out to attack was the knowledge that he'd never succeed. There was a protective phalanx surrounding the group. He'd be mowed down before he got close enough. His fists were clenched so tightly that his wrists cramped. There was nothing left for him to do; he turned around and headed for the Iceberg.
"Geoffrey! Do you realize what I've done? Why the hell am I asking you that? Of course you know; you set me up," he hissed. He dropped his hand down after turning off his comm. He didn't want to be seen talking to himself as he went down the street. But he'd already been spotted.
"We've found another one." A figure stepped back into the shadows to avoid being seen. He pointed a scanner at Leonard and looked at the results, confused. "He doesn't have a chip."
"Then how do you know he's an agent?"
"He's using a comm. And I'm getting readings for a time ship in the vicinity."
"Follow and capture."
Leonard was developing and discarding plans about confronting Geoffrey and then the Elders but that didn't keep his instincts from working. He had a tail. He discreetly scanned both sides of the street and found what he was looking for. A house that had been turned into a beer hall. It would serve a dual purpose. He entered and stopped, turning around to look at the street he'd just left. He would bet money that the man in the green coat had been following him. The man continued on down the street just like a professional.
"Target entered a bar on ul. Marshala Eremenko."
Another voice spoke up over the comms. "Will move in. What is the target wearing?"
"A blue shirt, black leather jacket and black cap."
"Capture if possible. If not, tag for future extraction."
Inside, Leonard stepped up to the bar and gestured to the bartender. Holding a brimming stein, he headed towards the back but soon realized that there was no exit other than the front door. A quick check showed that the bathroom had no window either; he was trapped. He leaned against a post and figured out his next move. It didn't occur to him to contact Geoffrey; the recent betrayal was too fresh. He made himself as unobtrusive as possible as he watched the front door where his vigilance was soon rewarded. The door opened to admit a man; it wasn't the same one but Leonard saw him scan the room quickly. He was the target. Now why were they after him?
An ugly smile stretched Leonard's mouth. He raised his stein high and brought it down on the shoulder of one of the burly men sitting at the nearby table. The man shoved back from the table and turned to face his attacker. But Leonard wasn't there. He'd moved off to another target and another. Soon, the room erupted into chaos. He threw a few punches which felt wonderful. He wanted to let go but unlike Mick, he knew when to leave a fight. He'd made his way across the room until he could grab someone by the back of his coat and toss him into his follower. While the two men were tangled up, he slipped out the door and continued on his way. Leonard kept an eye out for the first tail but didn't see the third. The woman came towards him and brushed against him in the crowd before walking past.
The thief quickly checked but he wasn't missing anything; she hadn't picked his pocket. What he didn't know was that a small tracking device had been planted on his coat sleeve.
Leonard headed east once again as he left the hall heading to where the Iceberg was cloaked in a wooded area a mile away. He looked around for a vehicle to steal and spotted a motorcycle. The owner was elsewhere so he used the universal key Geoffrey had given him and headed off.
"We have a problem. Target had acquired a vehicle. He's on a motorcycle headed east." The original tail had almost caught up to Leonard and could only watch as he drove away. He pulled out a small electronic device and flipped a switch.
"Tracking device is working. Is anyone close enough to follow? We need to capture him now before he reaches his ship."
A series of negatives came over the link as no one was close enough to follow. The captain of this mission had a projected map on his ship's bridge and followed as Leonard made it to his own ship which uncloaked right before he entered. A small explosion was triggered causing the tracking device to fall off Leonard's coat. With luck, a cleaning robot would not find it until they had tracked and captured this enigmatic agent.
Leonard wished he could slam a door. Stomping would only look too much like a tantrum. He stalked up the stairs to the bridge and sat in his command chair.
"Sir?" Geoffrey wasn't exactly sure what was needed. The Elders had predicted his captain's adverse reaction. "We need to leave here. Now."
Leonard pulled the restraint down over his head as the chair rotated. He automatically went through the motions and caused the ship to lift off and enter the Time Stream. They had avoided being fired upon and Geoffrey locked down the missiles until they could be placed back into storage.
Once the eerie green light filled the forward window, Leonard got up and walked to his desk. With his eidetic memory, he was recalling something Stein had said. Sitting down, he leaned back with his hands along the armrest.
Geoffrey watched Captain Cold for the next hour. While his eyes blinked, he didn't display any sign that he was aware of anything. "Captain?" Geoffrey tried a few more times with no response. He decided that he needed help and opened a transmission circuit. "Captain Hunter. I need your assistance."
0-0-0-0-0
Rip knew Sara was fuming at being left behind on the Waverider but Geoffrey had been adamant that only he and Mr. Rory enter the Iceberg to assist Captain Cold. Both men took the steps two at at time to find the bridge empty.
"He is in his office to your right." Geoffrey illuminated the room.
Both stopped at the sight of their former teammate. He was seated at his desk staring at nothing. Leonard didn't react to their presence although he had to have heard them enter. Rip cautiously approached the desk crossing Mr. Snart's field of vision. No reaction.
"What happened?" Mick demanded of the ship.
"The Elders sent Captain Cold on a mission that they feared would break him. It appears they were correct."
"Pfff. Nothing breaks Snart." Mick's chin jutted out defiantly. But Snart didn't react at all. Mick tilted his head back and looked around the room for any clues to what the mission was.
More direct, Rip posed the question. "What was the mission exactly?" He'd asked before but Geoffrey had put them off until they reached the Waverider.
"Show them."
The two men turned as they heard Snart's rough voice.
"Show them whose life you made me save." The bitterness was acid in his voice.
The two men watched as the nearby monitor cleared and a newspaper page appeared. Squinting at the headline, Rip understood a few moments before Mr. Rory what had Mr. Snart so upset. "Why?" Rip asked the AI. That one word was shaded with multiple meanings.
"Adolf Hitler had an enormous impact on history. He had to survive the assassination attempt or the timeline would be irrevocably altered."
Exploding out of his chair, Leonard spat at the AI. "You tricked me!" He staggered as his stiffened legs tried to support him.
"See. I told you Snart was okay." Mick felt vindicated. People always underestimated his friend.
"I am not okay, Mick. I was just turned into the biggest patsy ever. No one...no one does that to me. Saving Hitler makes me responsible for the death of millions of innocents!" Leonard had killed people before. His code was often fluid as Barry Allen had learned. But the one solid rule was that he would never intentionally put a child in danger. He had known that the Flash would save the passengers on that train that he derailed. Since he'd learned the truth, his eidetic memory had pulled up picture after picture from history books. Haggard individuals, some no older than eight, holding onto barbed wire fences hoping for rescue. Other images had made the gorge rise as he'd sat there waiting for his former teammates. He had done that. He had allowed that monster to live.
Rip crossed his arms and faced the AI's floating image. Every Time Master was taught that they might have to commit repugnant acts to keep the timeline intact. Calvert had been his cross to bear. Then he had made the mistake to attempt to stop Vandal Savage's reign of terror against the wishes of the Time Council. That they had been backing Savage was moot. Savage had committed heinous crimes himself but Rip didn't know of anyone who had been assigned such a task as Mr. Snart. To save a mass murderer. He had held back on judging the Elders after learning about the chip. After all, they had brought their friend back to life. But with no warning and no preparation, they'd tossed Mr. Snart into an untenable situation. "What do you want to do?" he asked the thief.
Leonard deflated. He'd been asking himself that question every since he'd seen the Führer step out of his car. "I don't know." He'd spent the last few hours trying to decide that very thing. He knew if he quit, he'd be abandoned in another universe away from everyone. But at least there he'd not be made responsible for any other deaths demanded by history.
"Come back to the Waverider."
"No. I can't...not yet." Maybe not ever he thought.
Rip understood but thought it was a bad idea for him to be alone. He'd had Gideon help him with his own self-recriminations after Calvert. But Geoffrey had done this to Mr. Snart. There was no way the thief would listen to the AI. "Mr. Rory. Why don't you stay here?" It wasn't the best choice. Mr. Rory was not a sympathetic individual but he did care about his friend and maybe his presence alone would help Mr. Snart.
Rip left the two behind in the office and headed towards the Waverider. He wanted to get Gideon's advice for dealing with this situation. "You will stay here until we get this settled." He demanded that the AI not abscond with their friend.
"We will not go anywhere. I have been in contact with the Elders. They ask for your help as do I. Captain Cold has done his job heroically. They hope that you can help him recover. I regret that the subterfuge was necessary." If an AI could sound contrite, this one did.
"Maybe. But it wasn't right keeping the truth from him."
"Did it make it any easier for you when you knew?"
Surprised that the AI knew about his own missions, Rip thought for a moment. "Yes. It did." He'd tried to keep himself from getting close to anyone in Calvert, unsuccessfully, but had steeled himself for the consequences. And too, he'd been trained from a young age regarding the pitfalls of allowing history to happen to keep the timeline intact. Mr. Snart was a ruthless man but he'd become more...human as he'd worked with the team. He'd even chosen the team over his partner when it was for the greater good. Would this betrayal turn him back into his former self? Rip hoped not. "You should have told him the truth." He stepped off the smaller ship and headed towards his own which was settled fifty yards away. He dreaded the questions he was going to have to field. Where did Mr. Snart's privacy begin and end?
The team was waiting for him in his office. Professor Stein spoke for them all. "Well? Is Mr. Snart going to be okay?"
"I'm not sure. Physically, he's fine. Emotionally...I'm not sure."
"Since when did Snart worry about feelings?" While Ray Palmer no longer felt the contempt he'd once held for Snart, he still saw him as a high school dropout who refused to use his talents for anything other than himself.
Rip wished he could talk to Professor Stein and Ms. Lance only but the others needed to be aware of the situation as well. Something might come up later and they'd need to know the main facts. "The Elders gave Mr. Snart a job that he performed flawlessly."
"So what's his beef?" asked Jax.
"They had Mr. Snart diffuse a bomb that was intended to kill Adolph Hitler."
"How? What? Why would they?" The room erupted with multiple loud voices.
"The Elders didn't tell him who he was to save. Stubborn as usual, he waited and learned the truth. To say he feels betrayed is an understatement."
Sara felt as if she'd been doused in cold water. Goosebumps rose on her arms as she tried to think clearly. Leonard had been of a like mind when she'd mentioned offing Savage. Killing such a man was the only sane option for a rational person. And Leonard was a man driven by facts and figures. She hugged herself wanting to go to him and realizing that she couldn't. Mick wasn't here; he had to have stayed behind. A tear slid down her cheek before dropping off her chin. She wished she could take some of Leonard's pain but he'd never admit to feeling it in the first place. He'd grown to care for her but she didn't think she had his trust that much. Now, maybe he'd never give it to her.
Ray couldn't figure out what to say. He leaned back in his chair and spent some time doing a little soul searching. Everyone knew what Hitler had done. He would bet all time travelers fantasized about killing him. But Snart had been made to save him. He knew how much Snart hated to be told what to do. That on top of being lied to had to make the man furious and dangerous. But who would pay for it? Ray hoped it wouldn't be them.
Jax knew history. What he didn't understand was why Stein's emotions were roiling around so much. Realizing that there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say, he left the office. He'd been meaning to do some work in the engine room and now was as good a time as any. He was certain they'd be grounded for a while.
Rip surreptitiously watched Professor Stein. He was shaken beyond any of the others. He reached blindly behind him until he found his chair's arm and sank down. His face was paler than normal and it quickly became apparent that his thoughts had turned inward.
It looked like more than Mr. Snart had been broken by the Elder's actions. Rip prayed that things could be mended.
0-0-0-0-0
Mick looked down at his partner who was seated behind his desk again. The pyro was not as dumb as most people believed. His time in the Vanishing Point had helped him control the rage and with that not taking center stage, he'd learned to think things through. Sometimes. Right now, he wished the Elders were in front of him so he could set them on fire. Neither thief believed in talking things out because each had learned at an early age to suppress any feelings. When he was a child, Lisa had made a chink in Snart's armor that had never closed up. Maybe that's why this was hitting him so hard. He'd actually felt compassion for someone in his life. Mick on the other hand had never felt compassion. He didn't receive it nor, in his honest opinion, did he deserve it. But his partner needed some sort of release or he would explode. "You're angry."
"No Mick, I'm not angry. That doesn't even begin to describe it." Leonard's hands were clenched where they rested on the table.
"Want to fight?" Mick offered the only relief he could. He could take whatever Snart could dish out. And Snart needed to get it out just as he himself had after being subdued and captured by the team. Startled by the maniacal gleam in Snart's eyes when he looked up, Mick stepped back to let him lead the way.
On the far side of the Iceberg was a small clearing; Leonard headed there. He turned and waited for Mick and then attacked. Snart had learned most of his fighting techniques from Mick. This made is easier for Mick to block many of his shots but a lot got through his defense even so. Time stopped as Leonard forced his rage and self-loathing out through his fists. He knew this would not be the end of his anger but he was able to bring it down to a manageable level. He swung and missed when Mick ducked and went down. And stayed down. Mick dropped next to him not nearly as exhausted. Neither spoke for a long time.
Leonard was grateful for the release Mick had helped with. The anger was now under control and would remain tightly reined in. He would not lose control again. The only thing left was to decide was what he would do next: stay an agent for the Elders or be stranded in some unknown era. He really didn't know what he'd choose. The sun was beginning to set when he stood up.
"Now what?" Mick was curious. He remembered the choices given to Snart when he'd been brought back to life. Which would he choose?
"I don't know." The younger man turned to go back to his ship. It would be a sleepless night as he tried to make a decision.
0-0-0-0-0
Leonard was in his office once again when Geoffrey told him that Professor Stein was asking admittance. He had to think about that for a moment, but Stein was better than Ray or Jax so he agreed. He definitely wasn't ready to face Sara yet.
Stein took his time coming up to the bridge. He peered around examining the control panels before turning to face Leonard standing in the doorway. He gave a small smile. "I am glad to see that you've recovered from your..your..."
"Breakdown? Didn't have one. It was just an act. You know it was your comments that gave me the idea." Leonard had convinced himself that retreating into his own thoughts had been completely intentional. He'd forgotten how he'd done the same thing when his father had come home in a rage and insisted that his son stay in the same room. There were huge chunks of time missing from his childhood narrative that he was unaware of.
Curious, Stein asked, "What comments would those be?"
"You pointed out that while on this ship I'm captive to Geoffrey. I realized he'd blocked the information that would have told me about Hitler when I tried to research the mission. If I tried to contact you all, he'd probably block that too. I knew if I didn't respond to him, he would have to go for help eventually." Leonard had been prepared to wait for days. He was a very patient man when he had to be.
"What if Geoffrey had decided that the Elders could help instead?"
That had been the one risk in his plan. But if he'd gone to wherever they were, he might have gotten some answers. "I don't think they want me back there for whatever reason."
"I see. However, I do not think that you are okay whatever you may believe."
"Why? Because I just saved the biggest mass murderer in history? Why should that bother me? I've killed before; you know that."
"Yes. But those were events under your direct control."
Deflated, Leonard knew Stein had a point. He'd been arguing that same point but that didn't stop his feelings of responsibility. He snarled. Responsibility. He was a thief. Pure and simple. Hero wasn't on his resume no matter what others thought.
Stein looked around the office and settled down in a chair. He gestured to another, "Please?" Leonard was pacing but realized that Stein has something to say. Seated, his leg jiggled until he throttled down the motion.
Gazing at the younger man, Stein quickly reviewed what he'd planned to say. He had no idea how patient Mr. Snart would be with him. "I was born in 1950. My family escaped from Europe seven years prior. I would not be here, in America, if Hitler had not begun his reign of terror. I would not have met Clarissa. I would never have become Firestorm. There are other individuals, writers, artists, and most importantly, scientists, who escaped Hitler's reign of terror or left Europe after the war. Their works would never have come to be without the influence of such a mad man."
"What are you saying?"
"Mr. Snart. You were in 1943 when you saved Hitler's life. The concentration camps were already built. You could not have stopped the many deaths that you seem to be blaming yourself for."
"Millions died after 1943 as well. Soldiers. Civilians. Children." It was the last that haunted him the most. He'd been more of a father to Lisa than Lewis had. He remembered comforting her after bad dreams and his joy when she'd learned to ride her motorcycle. So many European children never had the chance to know joy. All they were given had been bad dreams and for many, death.
"Yes. They did. But didn't our mission chasing Vandal Savage teach you anything about time?"
"What are you getting at?"
"The fact that time is set. We can't go back and fix what we think...and in this case know, is wrong."
"Then what are we all doing? We're still trying to fix things all up and down the time line."
"I believe we are more like police. That we are making sure that what is supposed to have happened still happens. Good and evil. What if your next mission was to save Jonas Salk?"
"Who?" He actually knew but couldn't resist that little dig.
"Oh, never mind. The point is that we are trying to keep the world going as it is supposed to not as we want it to go."
Stein's words struck a deep chord in Leonard. He'd tried to save his father from going to prison to save both himself and his sister from years of abuse. But time twisted events so that Lewis had still been arrested. He looked Stein in the eyes and nodded. "I'll think about what you've said."
"That is all that I ask." Stein stood up. "I hope that you continue to fight with us in this mission. We lost you once; it would be disheartening to lose you a second time. But in the end it is your choice." He turned and left the bridge leaving thought-filled silence in his wake.
0-0-0-0-0
"Geoffrey, hail the Waverider." The face that appeared on the screen was not Rip's but Sara's. She'd been on the bridge since before dawn.
"Hey," she said. She had dithered about coming over to see Leonard but Rip, Mick, and Martin had all convinced her that Leonard needed space. It seemed he'd come to a decision. Her hands were tightly clenched below the console's level. Would she lose him again? "What are you going to do?" She held her voice steady with her iron will. She would not break down. Not in front of Leonard at least.
"I need time. What I did..saving Hitler. We know that was wrong. If I hadn't taken the Elders up on their offer. If I hadn't wanted to be back. To see you. Mick. If I had just chosen to let them set me down somewhere else then all those innocent people might not have died. That's blood on my hands."" He looked her right in the eyes. He'd grown up feeling shame. Shame at what his father had done to him and to Lisa. He'd created a cold core inside that was untouchable. Sara had melted that core just a bit. Now he was paying the price for regaining his humanity. He didn't know how he was going to live with what he'd done. He just knew that he couldn't face any of the team until he'd found his way.
Sara had seen Oliver deal with his guilt over the years. Guilt was probably a new emotion for Leonard and it had hit him hard. "I'll be here when you need me." Her hands were cramping from being squeezed so tightly. She felt he was very close to breaking. Hopefully Geoffrey would be able to take care of him until he found himself once again. She just prayed that he could. "Will you contact us? Let us know what you decide?"
"I think...I promise I'll let you know one way or the other." He'd come to a decision last night. He had almost decided that he would continue working for the Elders. But he wasn't certain. He would demand complete control over missions and if he wasn't given that, then he was done. "Let the others know I'm leaving. Tell Mick thanks. And I'm sorry that I didn't see you."
"I get it. I know you brooding types." She smiled to take the sting out of the comment. "I will be here," she assured him.
"I'll be seeing you." Leonard reached out and turned off the screen. He wished he could tell Sara how much her faith helped. He was surprised that they had not turned him away or reviled him. He wasn't alone if he didn't want to be.
Sara turned to see Mick leaning against the wall of the bridge tossing a knife up and catching it as it fell. Neither felt the desire to speak. He joined Sara as they watched the Iceberg take off. Their thoughts were with the friend who was missing once again.
To "the greatest outsider [Mick] ever knew." "Abominations" November 3, 2016.
This chapter has been in the works for months. It came from ideas touted in "Progeny," "The Magnificent Eight," and "River of Time." I tried to be as historically accurate as possible, but I'm sure there are errors that I hope you forgive.
I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter; if you would, please let me know in a review. Thank you!