Disclaimer: We don't own RENT. We don't own Harry Potter.
Important Note: We actually have rehearsed this (As we're going to try and put it on Youtube) so everything either works, we made it work, or is just hilarious in it's not working-ness. So suck it.
La Vie Phoenix B
In the Gryffindor common room, the day after the incident in the Great Hall (see chapter one for further details).
Hermione:
Detention's over?
Fred & George:
Yeah, and by next week
We'll be done with this shit
Harry:
Lucky
Ginny:
And you should see
They've cleared out the Great Hall
And they're rioting out on a spree
Toady called The Squad
Lee:
That fuck
Ginny:
They don't know what they're doing
The Squad is knocking them down
But no one's leaving
They're just sitting there, roaring
All:
Yeah!
To chance!
Harry:
Great way to make a living, autographing,
Pain, Perfection
Ani-morphing, Gryffindoring, short-
Careers, killing horcruxes
All:
Wood!
Katie:
Adventure, medium, quidditch cap,
Sexy Scottish accent!
Ron:
Dark rooms, perfect motion, cheetos,
boobi, jolly wood and--
Hermione:
Ron!
All:
Magic!
Lee:
Spawn of Satan, potion, mathematics,
Isolation,
Swishes, flicking, power, blahblahblah,
And heavy Dumblelation
All:
Anarchy!
Fred & George:
Revolution, justice, screaming for
solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger,
Making noise and making pleas
All:
To werewolves, houselves, Shrek,
halfbloods, too
Lupin:
To me!
Dobby:
Dobby!
Hermione & Dean:
To me!
All:
To you, and you, and you, you and you
To wizards fighting with, fighting with,
fighting with
Not dying from Ol' Voldy
Let he among us, without sin
Be the last to the dicks!
La Vie Phoenix
La Vie Phoenix
La Vie Phoenix
Fred & George:
Anyone of the
Hufflepuffs?
What the Hell is a
Hufflepuff?
Anyone alive—with a
Sex drive
Hermione & Ginny
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war
Isn't peace--
It's creation!
All:
La Vie Phoenix
Ron (Spoken):
The riot continues
The Great Hall goes up in flames
The toad dances
Oblivious, Harry and Ginny
Exchange a small, lovely kiss...Oy!
Harry (also spoken):
What? You said a kiss!
Ron (still spoken):
Yeah, not shove your tongue down her throat!
All:
Viva La Vie Phoenix!
The students all stared awkwardly at each other for a moment, then slowly went back to what they were doing before the random crowd song. Lupin and Dobby quietly melted into the background.
Hermione turned to Ron, a look somewhere between anger and disgust on her face. "You masturbate to cheetos?"
"No, I eat them while I'm masturbating, duh!" Ron rolled his eyes ate her.
"Only one boobi?" Fred looked highly confused.
"You do realize we meant Oliver Wood, right?" George jumped into the conversation.
"And you thought of masturbation," Fred finished his twin's thought.
There was a beat while everyone processed that.
"We respect that," They said together, patting Ron on each shoulder.
"I'm gonna go spew now," Ginny said, looking sick.
"It's S-P-E-W, not spew!" Hermione shouted.
"What?"
"Oh, nevermind!" She turned on her heel and angrily stalked away. There was another short pause.
"At least she didn't comment on Dumblelation..." Harry said, trying (and failing) to interject some humor into the situation.
"I heard that!" They all winced at the angry sound of Hermione's voice. Hermione's wrath was not something you wanted to be on the receiving end of.
Hey! I'm so, so sorry for the long wait. We've been having writer's block, and we've been really busy. But, don't worry! I promise we'll start to update more frequently. These take a while to write, but we have a few good ideas for what to do next, so expect more chapters sooner. We won't take 7 months to update this time. Hopefully. :) So, as always, any suggestions you have will be greatly appreciated and given serious thought. Also, if you have a specific idea for what to do with a song, tell us about that, too. These plots don't just write themselves, you know!
Also, as usual, if you want to see the ending a bit different and in script form, check out PookietoYourMaureen's fic, Rent Song Parodies.
Read, review, love it or else. You know the drill.
Hobey-ho,
anti-pookie