Merlin leaned heavily on the walking stick David had carved for him. Katherine had very proudly grown the tree herself for younger to carve. It seemed that the pair of youngsters were Gilli's apprentices. Katherine had developed a liking for the raven haired warlock and was always near.
"You need to stop pushing yourself so much old timer. I know your brain is ready to go but your body's not. Where are we going anyway." Despite her reprimand, the teen followed at whatever pace the warlock chose.
"We're going to call on an old friend of mine." Was the only answer the raven haired boy gave. He ignored her order to go slower. Despite what she said Merlin could feel his magic swirling around him, healing him far faster than any physician could. In his few weeks awake his magic was one thing he had noticed had changed drastically. It was a constant flow within him and its strength was boundless. He found it acting without him even telling it to. Even now it was strengthening his muscles. It brought questions, questions that needed answers and answers that only one person Merlin knew of might be able to answer.
"Um… Merlin, not to sound rude, but I thought that everyone you knew, you know… before… I thought they were gone." Katherine attempted to skirt around the memories but they still hit him hard.
"Yes… Well, this one won't be going anywhere for some time still." They walked into a sufficiently large clearing, tucked away deep within the forest. "But you have to promise me not to scream alright. Just stay on the edge." With the warning Merlin threw his head back and let out a roar of words. The growling language erupted out of him far easier than normal language, yet another question for his old friend.
The raven haired warlock began shaking and he let himself drop in exhaustion.
"Merlin!" Katherine ran in, worry plain on her tan face.
"I'm alright," he held up a placating hand. She paused midstep toward him. With a final worried look she sat against a tree at the edge of the clearing. Merlin sighed in relief and let the tension seep out of him. He closed his eyes, letting his ears take over as they waited for the telltale sound. He didn't have to wait long.
Kilgharrah flew at top speed as he swirled and landed in the clearing, careful not to land on his dragon lord. Merlin pushed himself up off the ground into a sitting position. The pair starred at each other in silence before the warlock attempted to run to his old friend. The last dragon stuck out its head to catch the boy as he fell.
"Young warlock," was all he said for once remaining silent. Merlin had no tears left as he let out shuddering sobs.
"I failed Kilgharrah," Merlin wailed into the warm flesh of the dragon's head.
"Hush young warlock, hush." He nuzzled his warlock's broken form. "Tears will not change the fate brought on this land."
"You mean what I brought upon this land. Arthur died, Camelot fell and a united Albion never existed. Freedom for magic was the only thing that became of our fate. Kilgharrah what happened? Arthur dies and I use my magic past the boundaries that should be possible and then wake up 50 years later looking exactly as I did then?" the warlock's eyes were wide and red as he sat back to look almost accusingly at the dragon for answers.
"Young warlock, when you unleashed your magic, you did not simply use it up. You bound yourself to it. You and it became one being. You have not aged because your magic hasn't and wont." The last two words were said so low Merlin almost over looked them. He rounded on the dragon.
"Wont? You mean… Forever? You do don't you?"
Kilgharrah hung his head, "Yes young warlock, you have become immortal. As long as magic exists, you shall as well, for your magic is not simply your own, but tied to all the magic that exists in the world."
The raven haired boy's already weak muscles collapsed under him. "So I have to live with this… With Arthur's death, the destruction of Camelot… Forever?"
The dragon sighed, "Yes, you, like myself must live with the burden of lives on your shoulders until the end of time. We are story tellers Merlin, to tell what was and what could have been. "
"What good is boundless magic if it couldn't even save one prince's life?" Merlin muttered.
"Your magic did not fail you young warlock."
"Yes, it did. Arthur died."
"Yes, the young prince died, as they all did. But your magic did not fail." With the final statement the dragon nudged his young charge before taking off into the sky.
The warlock sat on the ground staring after the last dragon in the world. 'Why couldn't he ever speak sense. How could my magic have not failed if Arthur was dead… and who else?'
"Merlin…" Katherine's voice was several octaves higher than normal, "that was a dragon!"
"Yes it was," was all the answer Merlin gave.
'If only Gwaine could see me now?' Merlin thought to himself as he downed the tankard of ale… or maybe he spoke it out loud judging by the look the man next to him just gave, Merlin hardly cared. It had been another 6 since he had first awakened on the grass. Gilli had passed a mere year after Merlin's reappearance. Not long after that Merlin had decided he wanted to put as much distance between himself and the ruins of Camelot as he could.
Merlin's mind had originally rejected the thought of being a 'story teller' for the stories of Arthur opened up wounds that would never heal. However, it seemed that any time he was drunk the stories came out of him unasked.
Even now as Merlin placed his 5th empty pint on the counter he found himself turning to sit, gathering the attention of the patrons that had been sitting next to him. He waved for the barmaid to give him another drink as he began to tell the story of his prince. He honestly doubted he told the same story twice, but through the haze of alcohol it was hard to tell. He knew it never took long until he had an entire tavern in silence, riveted on his tales of bravery.
Again, as per usual, by his 8th tankard Merlin began on stories of what would have been. He spoke of an amazing kingdom brought together under 1 king. He spoke of its meek but strong and beautiful queen. He gave epic tales of the quests the noble and brave knights of the round table would have completed. Bringing back their prize to present in front of their king. Of course he also spoke of the king, his king. He spoke of the people's loyalty to him, his heart that he put out for all his people, his justice and his nobleness, his fairness and kindness. He painted the picture of what Arthur would have been.
By his 10th and final tankard, when he was truly smashed, he spoke of a sorcerer that hid in Arthur's shadow. Loyal and protective of his king, watching over him long before he became king.
The pubs were always silent as the warlock left, stumbling slightly as he made his way out of the bar and toward whatever inn he was currently staying in.
His thoughts were always the same, no matter where he went. He was pathetic. He was moping in depression, and what was worse he knew it, but the pain of it all wouldn't ease. He'd lost his friends, his family, his home, his destiny, his prince… his mind normally faded into unconsciousness at this point, but tonight it decided to add on the list of losses, his love. Merlin jolted into a sitting position the next morning, picking up his thoughts where they had left off the night before. His love?
Merlin sat on the shores of a sparkling lake, staring out across the water. Night had long since fallen but still the warlock stayed, nearly blending into the night. Only his brilliant blue eyes reflecting the pale moonlight. Since his drunken realization, the immortal had not had a single drink. He abandoned his frequency of taverns and had taken up a new past time.
Although the dragon had been decidedly unhelpful in reconciling his failed destiny, Merlin devoted himself to finding a way to make it right. There had to be a way and Merlin would find it, no matter the costs. It wasn't that he wanted to go back to make Arthur love him, that would be pointless due to the fact that any measure he found would most likely mean the trading of his life. He was willing to accept that, but Arthur had a destiny, one that was needed in history. One that he was willing to give anything for his prince to have.
His life became a maze of books and tutors on magic. Any single rumor of magic had the sorcerer there. For 44 years now that had been his life. Yet, nothing appeared. No way to go back through time, no mystical object, nothing. It had been 50 years since Merlin began and now he had lost hope.
He had run out of tears long ago, but despair held him stronger now then ever. There was a feeling in the back of his mind, something was coming. It's pull reminded him of everything he had lost. Reopening unclosed wounds deeper than ever. It was tearing him apart. He was going mad, of that he was sure. He couldn't survive this, living through the centuries with… THIS.
Merlin bit his lip decidedly, standing. With clear eyes he walked to the edge of the water. He took a deep breath and kept walking. Water lapped at his knees, his waist, his shoulders, his chin, then he was completely submerged. His eyes drifted closed as for the first time in 100 years the world stilled around him. The underwater world provided a peaceful blanket of pure nothingness. Yes, he would die like this and then it would be over, everything would be. An inner peace settled over him at this thought, he would be with them again, even if it was in death.
That's when he felt the strong jerk in his mind and on his magic. The golden power jolted him out of the water before he could even put up a proper fight. Magic thrummed through him that had nothing to do with his near suicide. It seemed to pull in 20 different directions at once. The strongest one was close. He couldn't say how but it was reeling him in. Still dripping wet the warlock found himself following the pull.
Spurred on by his magic, Merlin found himself outside a cottage 5 miles from the lake. Inside a newborn infant wailed. Merlin stood in shock outside the window. He knew that woma, but… there was no way…
Merlin's heart stopped when the prod father walked into his line of sight, sitting on the edge of the bed next to his wife. There, nearly a hundred years after his death and even more after hers sat Igraine and Uther Pendragon, consoling a newborn child with golden locks.
Merlin's mind collapsed as he raced away from the house. The world was set on driving him mad and it had succeeded. Arthur, Uther, and Igraine were dead, they all were. They went on into Albion. The strings within Merlin's brain leading in different directions seemed to disagree. Now that they had his focus Merlin could assign names to them if he tried. Gwaine, Lancelot, Gwen… All of them. He collapsed to the ground, sending out a nearly frantic plea for Kilgharrah. He must have been waiting for it took the dragon mere minutes to land in the clearing next to the shaking warlock.
"I told you that your magic did not fail you young warlock." The great beast sounded nearly smug as he landed softly.
Merlin let anger fill the void in his soul as he stood, "What is the meaning of this Kilgharrah?" he roared.
"Young warlock why must you never use your own mind? When you reached out to their souls with your magic, you tied them to yourself. Not in the same way that you are tied to your magic, but much the same. They will continue to be reborn as long as you and your magic that ties them to you exists."
"No…" the fight and will left Merlin as he once again collapsed to his knees. "You mean they cannot enter the gates of Avalon until I die… which is never?"
"Yes young warlock." The last dragon nodded gravely.
"They have to be punished for the rest of eternity due to MY mistakes?" his eyes unfocused to stare into molten eyes.
"In a manner of speaking. Yes."
Merlin watched from afar as the young blonde child grew up. He became the head physician in the town, his collected studies over the last century easily giving him the knowledge and experience needed to do so. Much to his surprise the young prince had attached to him, constantly following at his heel.
"Jonathan, stop harassing the poor physician. I'm so sorry about this Merlin." Arthur's… no Jonathan's mother Cassandra scolded gently before turning to the warlock.
"Really Cassandra, its alright." The warlock reached out a hand to affectionately ruffle the boy's hair, earning a bright ear to ear grin from him, before his mom led him away. The ten year old blonde was not the only familiar face in this small town. All the young children that flocked around Merlin were familiar, whether it was the brave and honorable Marcus; the brash and loud Garren; quiet but strong Lucas; Jonathan's protective shadow Edmund; the intelligent but meek Margaret; or intuitive and daring Elizabeth. Even many of the town's folk were painfully familiar faces. Grey eyebrows always raised at him whenever he passed the school and the children ran to him, Elizabeth's beautiful blonde sister made the finest jewelry for leagues, even a handsome brown haired man created beautiful woodworkings next door to Gai…. Phillip. The joy of seeing all of them, of having a purpose once again, overrode any sorrow that seeped into him. He worked hard to make certain that the lives of the ones that he loved would not suffer the same fate that they had in a previous life. Merlin would watch them grow old if it was the last thing he did on this earth, and in that time he would find a way to end it, to allow them into Avalon.
The warlock had decades worth of networks in order to search for any and all rumor having to do with magic. Only the most promising leads could coax him from the village. He would be damned if he left for any time and the ones he held most dear slipped from this world before their time.
"Merlin!" the voice made Merlin turn to grin happily at the trio of dark haired boys running toward him.
"Garren, Marcus, Nicholas!" he greeted, stopping to wait for them.
Gwa… no Marcus gave him a large grin, "Merlin! You're going to tell us a story right? Come on please?"
El…Nicholas, tugged on my hand, "We got our parents to agree."
Merlin put on a false thoughtful expression, making the boys lower their heads in defeat before nodding his consent. Marcus whooped, throwing a fist in the air before dashing off, most likely to gather the others.
"How about you go get Edmund and your sisters?" the warlock gave them a smile, "You can meet me in my house after. I'm sure Marcus can get the others." The pair of boys nodded and took off in their respective directions. He watched with a melancholy smile as the pair of backs disappeared.
With a sigh he turned back and opened the gate to his home, leaving it open for when the children arrived. It was not an unusual thing for his house to be raided so by the children of his village. It had become his favorite past time to relay the stories of his past, their past to them. Their eyes widened and they leaned forward no matter how many times they heard the tales of Prince Arthur and his knights. The girl's eyes grew dreamy as they heard of the beautiful Guinevere and the strong Morgana. Reciting the stories had lost its sting in the face of the younger versions of the heroes and heroines.
Merlin let his mind wander as he opened the door, only to be brought up short by the sight of a man standing in his inner threshold.
"May I help you?" he asked, his defenses immediately up at the sight of the unfamiliar hooded figure. The person turned and lowered the hood. He felt his shoulders relax as the dropped hood revealed not a man but a beautiful brunette woman with striking eyes.
"Natalie," he greeted his one time foe. Without the dark influence of the great purge, the witch never let the influence of hate consumer her. The girl was Merlin's most reliable informant when it came to any magical information. He had met the young sorceress 5 years before, the girl(thirteen years old at that time) was wandering, hoping to find answers to her questions on her own identity, on magic. She had stumbled into the village by chance and had befriended the wary warlock nearly immediately. Upon her leaving she had promised to return should she get any pressing information on deep magic or magic involving life and death. She had held true to her word and had returned with information dozens of times in the following years.
"Merlin," she greeted with a smile, stepping forward to hug the warlock. He returned her embrace, long since ridding himself of the century old grudge. "Its been some time since I've been back here. Have I caught you at a bad time. I sensed you were distracted when you arrived."
"No no, simply nostalgic. However the children are insistent on a story so they will be arriving soon." He sent a look out the door to search for approaching children.
She gave him a knowing grin, not unlike Cassandra's, before nodding, "I see, I can wait until you are finished before giving you the news then. It is quite the long story itself." Merlin raised a dark eyebrow at the girl as she settled into a chair to await the arrival of the children. It didn't take long. Marcus, Wil… Peter, and Jonathan arrived first, roughly shoving each other to see who could get through the door first. Marcus turned a bright shade of crimson upon seeing Natalie and bowed his head in greeting to her before taking a space on the floor infront of Merlin's chair before the fireplace. Jonathan and Peter, true to their form in the first life were shoving each other relentlessly.
Garren and Edmund arrived in a much more dignified and quiet manner, keeping a low conversation as they settled side by side to wait for the others. Nicholas was next, arriving alone and taking his spot beside an uncharacteristically silent Marcus. The girls as it seemed was always the case arrived last. Despite being of low class, Elizabeth had kept her stately walk and lift to her chin as she entered the house, leading her small 4 year old brother by the hand. The meek but bright eyed Margaret and even meeker Catherine followed after the siblings. It had come as quite the surprise to Merlin for Gwen's reincarnation to have a twin and even more surprised to have said twin be none other than his first love. Both twins, as always, followed on Elizabeth's coattails as they entered and, upon seeing Natalie, took their seats leaning against her chair. Elizabeth was quite taken with the older sorceress. The 12 year old girl had discovered her powers near three years ago and now spent nearly as much time in Merlin's small house as Jonathan.
"So, which story is it today Merlin?" Natalie broke his contemplation and silenced the still squabbling kids.
Merlin grinned, "Any requests?"
"The rescue of Mordred from the evil clutches of King Uther?" Elizabeth piped immediately.
Marcus snorted, "No way, that one's boring!"
"What about the rescue of Guinevere?" Merlin grinned as the bickering began as it always did.
"What about the quest for the trident of the Fisher king."Jonathan's voice silenced the others. It seemed that even without the title the children followed him automatically…well except for Peter, but even when Arthur was prince Will had never paid the time of day to following the royal's orders. Now though the warlock's childhood friend seemed content with the blonde's choice. The others nodded in agreement so the last dragonlord settled in to tell the tale.
When the story was done all the children stayed silent, lost within the tale of the epic quest. Their eyes were glazed. Night had fallen some time before so Natalie had lit a fire by magic as to not disturb the spell that Merlin's tale had caused.
Marcus was the first to move, as he always did for this particular story, "Noble's!" he scoffed, "think they can act so high and mighty simply because of who their parents are. The bloody prince wouldn't have even succeeded if it wasn't for the Gwaine and Merlin." Merlin felt a smile pull at his lips at hearing Marcus unknowingly speak of himself in the same manner he had a hundred years before.
"Che, they're all the same." Peter agreed.
"Now now, Prince Arthur would have been a great king, one who would have united all of Albion!" Merlin chided the children.
"You always talk about them as if they're real." Elizabeth spoke up, "It almost makes me believe them." The once seerer's eyes were glazed over as if she could once again see not in the future but into the past to a time that was much darker than the lives they held in the small village all together and equal.
"Who's to say they aren't," Natalie broke in with a wink before standing, "Now, your parents will be worried if you lot don't run along now. Shoo shoo." She waved her hand and the door opened.
The once knights groaned in disappointment that there would be no second story tonight, but left without argument. When the last of the children filed out the door shut itself with a soft click.
"Now," Merlin lounged back, fixing Natalie with a steady gaze, "what did you want to talk about?"
The brunette gave him a small smile before pulling a chair over to him. "I found a village of druids!" the young woman leaned forward in her chair, nearly bouncing out of it in her excitement. Her blue eyes sparkled as she fought to keep still.
Merlin's brow wrinkled at the news. In all his travels in the last century, he had not been able to find the druids. They seemed to have disappeared in the 50 years he slept. No one had seen or heard of the people for many years.
Though he gave no response the 18 year old continued, "They say that they had fled when darkness ended destiny, whatever that means, they are traveling through the forest a day's ride from here."
"How'd you find them?"
"Well… What'd odd is that they found me. I was in a village nearby and a pair of young men approached me and told me where to find them. They said to go and get you and to return. They said that they had things that you needed to hear, things that the great one didn't share." She watched as the boy's eyes widened to comical proportions before asking, "It mean more to you than it did to me?"
Merlin blinked before nodding, "We'll go tomorrow." Worry filled Natalie's blue eyes as she watched the raven haired boy disappear into his bedroom.
The next morning they woke before the dawn. The village was silent and dark as they packed their horses. The teenager's eyes darted repeatedly back to the dark warlock's back as he silently mounted up. He had yet to even say a word since he had emerged from his room that morning. Natalie found herself missing his wise speeches or amazing tales. They rode in a tense silence, leaving the village without a word. She watched as he turned to watch the village fade into darkness until it disappeared. Then his shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh. In all her time she had known him, he had never traveled far from the village. Something held him there that he refused to leave without reason. What could the druids know that was so important to the warlock? He had responded to the name of the people instantly, a people that was thought to be extinct.
"Merlin, are you alright?" Natalie spurred her horse to catch up with the boy.
He jumped slightly before turning to her with a soft smile, "Of course. It's just… been some time since I have last spoken with the druids." The incident with the cup of life to be exact, he mentally added.
"You've spoken with them before?" she turned to stare wide eyed at him in shock.
"Yes, many years ago." His eyes grew distant.
"But they haven't been seen for a century!" she protested.
Merlin's eyes went wide for a moment but he didn't' answer. An uncomfortable silence filled the next hour before she could stand the tension no more.
"Merlin, tell me a story. Any story." She pushed.
He shook his head and blinked before focusing on her. "What?"
"A story, please." The teen prompted again.
His eyes were distant again for a moment again and this time they didn't clear but he began with a soft smile playing across his features. It wasn't long before Natalie was nearly falling off her horse in laughter. "The crown prince was braying? With donkey ears?" she gasped out, unable to breathe.
"I'm afraid Merlin not in the most… noble of moods when he reversed the goblin's spells… Prince Arthur was heard braying for the next week," the warlock concluded with his own small chuckle. To say that this did not help the young girl to breathe was an understatement. Her laughter echoed in the forest around. Merlin drew himself out of the past and focused on the girl next to him. In times like these he was glad for his curse. Thanks to it people like Nimueh, Morgana, Mordred, even Uther had te chance to live without the hate that had so driven them in their past life. He would do whatever it took to protect them this life and search for a way to free them for forever repeating. If he could find a way to end this curse he had included them on in this life, one that blessed all he had pulled in with happiness, Merlin would be willing to live out eternity here alone.
Natalie's laughter was cut short as she gasped in shock. He followed her gaze to where a man appeared suddenly from the trees. "Emrys." He greeted with a nod.
Merlin dismounted and nodded a greeting to the man who was his kin.
"We have long awaited your visit." The man stepped forward to grasp arms with Merlin who hesitantly gripped back.
"I'm surprised the druids still wish to associate with me."
The man's eyes grew sad, "Follow me; I shall take you to the camp."
Natalie watched in wonder as Merlin blended in with the druid and even more so as they entered the camp. Many of the druids bowed their heads in welcome to him. He nodded in return as if the treatment was normal to him. For not the first time in her life the girl had to wonder just who Merlin was. These supposedly extinct people recognized Merlin on sight and Merlin himself greeted them as if it was an everyday thing to walk among them.
Natalie followed them into a tent. Merlin sat down at a wooden table across from the druid that had come to meet them. Natalie silently sat in a chair in the shadows, obviously forgotten by the pair.
"It is simply human to make mistakes Emrys." The man began.
Merlin let out a soft snort, "That may be but ordinary peoples mistakes don't change the course of history."
The druid bowed his head in acceptance to the statement before meeting his eyes again, "Emrys, you must be wary. Your destiny has been decided. Fate cannot change now that the course has been set. You cannot change what has begun."
Natalie jumped as Merlin suddenly stood, the chair flying back in his anger. "No!" he shouted.
The druid hardly blinked in response. "The harder you try the harder it will become when you fail. Destiny will repeat itself Emrys, no matter your intentions."
Merlin's head dropped for a moment before he raised his head defiantly. "Is that all you wished to tell me?" His voice was the coldest that it had ever been.
"You can't escape destiny Emrys. Don't lose yourself." The man didn't even hesitate under the frightening aura around the last dragonlord even as Natalie found herself cowering. Merlin spun without another word and stormed from the tent. His step didn't break even as he mounted the horse.
"Young sorceress," the druid man finally turned his attention on her and broke her reverie, "it would be best to not follow the sorcerer. What he is to find now is not something anyone should witness."
Merlin rode hard and fast, even Arthur would have been proud of him, he thought. He had to get to the village. He would prove the druids wrong, he would, or he would die trying. Taking a deep breath he slowed the horse to a stop and dismounted. Even now he had no tears left. He placed a hand on the horse to calm himself. No matter what he would have to do, he would stop destiny.
The warlock placed his forehead against the horse's neck, inhaling the scent of horses that reminded him so much of Camelot when he still had a destiny that he wished to be a part of. He let his mind wander into the memories, which came with less pain now that he was surrounded by those he had failed. That's when he felt it. The utter wrongness, a great pull on the strings of magic within his mind.
Without even pausing to think the warlock was back in the saddle and muttering spells to make the horse travel even faster. With every second that passed he felt another tug on the strings of fate that bound him to those he had cursed. He spurred the horse faster still with each snap. The days ride took no more than a half a day, but he could smell smoke on the air an hour before he hit the crest of the hill that overlooked his village.
The village, his village lay in ruin. It was burned to the ground, whoever was responsible had long since abandoned their pillaging. A sense of dread seeped through Merlin, strong enough to even rival the moment when Arthur had died. His single hope lay into the sole string he could sense in his mind. He sought it, led by the string alone. He found the source in the form of a beaten blonde body lying hidden in the trees. A trail of blood led to where the boy now lay protectively across the body of his mother. Fading blue eyes jumped to Merlin in fear before they calmed as soon as they saw him. A soft smile played across the boys lips and the softest whisper of "Merlin" left him before Jonathan's eyes lost focus completely. For the second time Merlin watched his once and future king die, and it was his fault.
Every ounce of will broke as the warlock collapsed to the ground. It seemed the harder he tried to keep Arthur alive, the more grip death had on him. It was his fault. He came into the prince's life and brought death. Arthur had never been in mortal peril until he, the bumbling idiot, entered Camelot. Merlin had inserted himself into this quiet villages life, and now it lay burnt to the ground. No matter where he went he brought death, he could not die was surrounded by death. It mocked him, taking those dearest to him. This moment was when Merlin decided he could not witness the light leaving Arthur's eyes. Never again, and with that, he ran.
TBC
Well, thats finally the end of the prologue, woo that took forever. Now we can get into the real story. I'm actually quite proud of this chapter. It is officially the longest chapter I have ever posted on fanfiction on any of my stories. I'm a fan of the pretty button below and I'm more likely to post the more its pushed. By the way, I meant to put this up weeks ago but got put off by practice, so hopefully I'll get back on the schedule of posting every Sunday after this. Anyway, till next time!