Chapter 4

Both a Little Scared

Gabriel glanced over at the clock on his nightstand again. For the life of him, Gabriel couldn't seem to fall asleep. It wasn't Lucifer's fault either.

While technically Gabriel didn't need sleep anymore because he was housing an archangel, (as he had told Lucifer more than once) there was normalcy in sleeping and eating – things that were a part of everyday human life. Hygiene he would be able to get away with since no one would be able to call him out for not being clean or whatever.

That being said, sleeping was only something that Gabriel insisted on. He didn't have to do it at all, even with Lucifer consenting to not interfering with his sleeping patterns. Gabriel could be doing other stuff – like finishing that Diablo 3 model for Caleb or reading Swan Song or something…

Gabriel's eyes snapped over to his door when he heard it creak open slightly. "Gabe?"

"Lucy, what's wrong?" he asked his little sister, sitting up on his bed. He could easily make out the dark shape of her small figure with the way his eyes were adjusted to the almost nonexistent lighting in his room.

"Had a nightmare," she answered quietly, shuffling another step into his room. The cloth of her loose pajamas, almost like a dress on her, swayed minutely at the movement.

Gabriel patted the open space next to him on his mattress, scooting over to make more room for her. "Come on, let's get you comfortable."

Lucy quickly moved to climb onto the bed and situated herself to curl next to Gabriel under the comforter. She hugged her favorite stuffed animal – a fluffy, white rabbit (Mister Hopkins) – as Gabriel moved again to properly accommodate the bed's new addition. "Will you tell me a story?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" he asked, continuing on before she would think she actually had to answer. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away—"

"Not Star Wars," she interrupted abruptly.

"Not Star Wars," he repeated with a gasp of mock horror. "What's wrong with Star Wars?"

"I just wanna hear a princess story," she told him after trying (and failing) to smother a snicker.

"A princess story…" he said, trailing off on purpose to give himself an air of deep thought. "Hmm… Well then, once upon a time, in a remote kingdom that was located next to a dazzling blue ocean that stretched as far as far as the eye could see, there lived a king and his beautiful daughter…"

~o-O-o~

Lucifer was restless. Something was wrong with him, and he wasn't sure what it was yet. Ugh, what was he doing? For some reason he had taken the boy's words to heart that day with the bully.

He shouldn't have been listening to the child. He shouldn't have even bothered sparing the bully. He shouldn't have— well, Lucifer shouldn't have done a lot of things. Not that it changed anything.

That still didn't explain why he was beginning to feel… attached to the boy. Yes, attached. And what made matters worse was that he had no idea how it had come to be. It wasn't like Lucifer was asking to have this happen to him – the opposite in fact!

But Lucifer liked seeing the boy happy. It filled him with a lightness he couldn't explain. And when the boy was sad, Lucifer found himself missing the boy's smile. His grace hurt when the boy cried. He didn't like it when the boy was mad – though he wasn't sure why, Lucifer sometimes felt a sliver of worry that the boy was mad at him. The worst thing was when the boy was scared of him.

It had only happened once during the couple of weeks that Lucifer had been with the boy. That look of genuine terror had made Lucifer feel like someone had stabbed him in the chest (the irony was not lost on Lucifer, considering that the boy's name was Gabriel). That look that had been because of Lucifer. The archangel never wanted to see that look on the boy's face ever again. Not if he could help it.

So, yes, Lucifer would – albeit grudgingly – admit that he was attached to the boy.

The boy— Gabriel was telling his little sister a story, and Lucifer got lost listening in on the tale. Gabriel masterfully wove together the story about of a fair princess and the humble merchant she fell in love with.

The princess had met the merchant as a child, and they had continued to meet in secret whenever the merchant was able to come by the castle during his travels. Years passed, and the couple became distant.

The princess's father fell ill to some incurable disease. Magnificent balls and parties were held in order to attract the neighboring kingdoms' nobles in hopes that one would marry the princess. But then war broke out amongst several of the kingdoms far to the east. Many of the western kingdoms, the princess's included, went to support different sides, and travel became dangerous.

The princess, her heart still taken by the merchant, had refused any suitors, waiting for her love to visit the castle again so she might be able to gain permission from her father to marry the man as the king did not believe the merchant to be real or even be alive after all those years.

The war had come to an end, and the king was on his death bed. The king took hold of his daughter's had with a grip stronger than he should have had. It was here that the king told his daughter of a story the princess was familiar with. He told her the story of how he and the princess's mother had met. He told her to believe. "Believe that your merchant is still out there. Believe that he will still return to you, and he will."

Everyone in the kingdom and even the nobles of the other kingdoms attended the king's funeral. People from all around were gathered to mourn the loss of one of the greatest kings the land had ever had. The princess wept in the garden she had first met the merchant – his image, his smile forever cherished in her mind.

A voice then softly called out to her. "Why do you cry, fair maiden? These tears, though like diamonds, mask your true beauty."

"My father is dead," she responded forlornly to the voice – familiar but she couldn't place where she remembered it from. "And the love of my life has likely long passed as well."

"But surely, fair maiden, the love of one's life would never leave the other," the voice replied.

The princess sniffled, wiping away some of her tears. "If he is truly still alive, then I would wish for him to know that I wait for him. I wait for his smile, for his laugh. I wait for the day we meet again."

"Fair maiden, if I may ask, what is that pendant around your neck?" the voice inquired curiously.

The princess looked down at the jewel that hung from the silver string. "It was a gift from a merchant boy I met long ago. He is the one I wait for."

"Then, fair maiden, I would ask, why do you wait? A caravan of merchants has come to your kingdom. Would not one of them be your love?" the voice asked.

"I wait because of a promise we made as children," she explained reminiscently. "I wait in the garden for he would always come to me."

The voice said nothing for several minutes, but then – sounding closer as if the speaker had rounded the corner of the bushed maze to be standing behind the princess – it spoke softly once more. "Fair maiden, you need not wait any longer."

The princess turned to face the speaker so she could rebuke him while looking at him, but as her eyes fell upon him, she let out a soft gasp. "Is it really you?"

Moving forward, the merchant simply smiled, and new tears ran down the princess's cheeks. The merchant faltered in his steps when he saw the watery trails, but at the beckoning smile of her own, he continued his journey to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in his. "I know it's been a long time, but I have loved you ever since we first met. You are the light of my world, and our promise is what brought me out of a dark place. My love, will you give me the honor of being my wife?"

"Yes! Yes! Of course!" The princess exclaimed happily, embracing her now fiancée and kissing him.

The wedding took place a month later. Once again, everyone in the kingdom gathered but this time to celebrate the coming of their new king and queen. The two lived on and had two children of their own – two sons, both equally good and worthy to be the heirs of the throne. The princess had found her merchant, and they all lived happily ever after.

Lucilia had fallen asleep in Gabriel's arms. Lucifer watched as Gabriel carefully got out of bed and pulled the covers up and around his sister, tucking her in. The boy then quietly moved his desk chair and placed it in front of the window. Lucifer sat down on the bed in the reflection.

"Did you make that one up all on your own?" the archangel asked. He already knew the answer.

Bits and pieces of the story Gabriel told his sister were taken from different books and movies or games that the boy had read, watched and played over the years. Those bits and pieces had then been arranged into the tale of the princess and the merchant. Maybe not pure creativity, but the story had been made of the boy's own imagination – just with a bit of inspiration.

Gabriel shrugged. "Hearing stories helps her fall asleep after a nightmare," he answered in a hushed voice. Lucifer was starting to pick up that the boy liked to talk to him aloud when he could, and Lucifer was starting to like it, too.

Lucifer turned to look behind himself at the little girl still sleeping in her brother's bed. "Does she have nightmares often?"

"No… It's just—" Gabriel cut himself off suddenly, sighing. "Dad left when she was about to turn four. Her nightmares are usually him coming back only to be gone when she looks away."

"And you?" Lucifer asked curiously. "Are your nightmares like that?"

Gabriel shook his head, eyes becoming distant. "I know he's not coming back. I know he's dead."

"How so?" Lucifer was a bit more hesitant to ask the question this time. While he could just look around for the memory relating to Gabriel's statement, he knew the boy would get mad at him for it, and besides, if the boy wanted to tell him, he would.

"Because…" Gabriel said, voice just above a whisper. His eyes shifted to look at the bookcase. "I know because he left me a note."

Lucifer deflated somewhat. That was rather… anticlimactic. "There's something else, isn't there."

"I'm scared, Lucifer."

And now Lucifer was taken aback. "I don't see why—"

"The bully, Lucifer," Gabriel cut him off. "He knows, and his friends know. They must have told someone by now. It's only a matter of time until something bad happens, and I don't know what to do when that happens. I'm scared."

"So what?" Lucifer huffed, standing up and walking over to the boy. "No one can hurt me, us. And if they try and somehow happen to do so, then I'll hit them back harder."

"And if you can't?" Gabriel shot back in a low hiss. Brown eyes pierced into icy blue ones. "I won't let you hurt people."

"But they would have hurt us. I would be protecting us." Lucifer didn't know why he had started referring Gabriel and himself together like that. It just fit.

"What about Lucy? What about my mom?" Gabriel pointed out. "I don't want my family getting hurt because someone else wants to hurt me through them."

"Then I'll protect them, too," Lucifer insisted.

"Can you? In a city of over four million people, can you really keep them safe?"

"I can, and I will if I have to."

"That's not the point, Lucifer," Gabriel said, shaking his head.

"Then what?! What am I not getting?" Lucifer fumed.

"I'm going to have to leave, aren't I?" The boy said it so simply, detached from the emotions that should have been behind those words.

Lucifer opened his mouth, a retort on his tongue, but he couldn't say that. "You don't have to leave," he said instead.

Again, Gabriel shook his head, staring out the window. "I've dug myself a grave, and I'm not going to be able to get out of it."

"You little hypocrite," Lucifer ground out, his hands clenching into fists. "Weren't you the one who said to try to do better?"

"Sometimes it's best to know when to let go."

"Stop it," the archangel hissed. "You don't get to just give up—"

Gabriel looked back to his friend. "It's my choice, Lucifer." His eyes wandered past the archangel in the reflection to his little sister's sleeping form. "I might regret it later, when it all finally catches up to me, but in the long run, it's better for both of them. I won't let them get hurt because of me."

Lucifer's body shook with pent up frustration. "Why would you just leave them?"

He wanted to know. How could this boy— this child leave it all behind? Leave everyone he loved? Why… Why?

"Because I love them."

Lucifer felt the anger seep from his being. Stupid. It was all so stupid. This child shouldn't have to make a decision like this. Gabriel shouldn't have to leave his family. It was his fault. It was because Lucifer had inserted himself into Gabriel's life that this happened. Dammit. Damn it all.

"It's not your fault, Lucifer," the boy told him, giving him a small smile. "I said yes. I let you in. I'm why you're here."

"That doesn't make it fair that you have to leave your family," Lucifer argued.

Gabriel shrugged. "Perhaps it doesn't, but we both know it would happen eventually."

"I'm trying to give you a chance to stay with them a little longer," Lucifer snapped at the boy. "Why do you keep insisting to go now?!"

"Because if I don't leave now, I never will," Gabriel said coldly. "I have to leave at some point, but if I stay any longer, I won't be able to let them go."

Lucifer felt like he had just been slapped. Was that why..?

"Don't you want to at least say goodbye?"

A sad smile crossed Gabriel's face. "I already did."

~o-O-o~

Lucilia found the note on the nightstand when she woke up. It was written in Gabriel's almost cursive scrawl, addressed specifically to her.

To the light of my world,

Remember when you asked me about where Dad was? You were only four. I told you that Dad wasn't going to come home for a while, and then when you asked again a year ago, that he wasn't ever coming back. You didn't talk to anyone for a week.

I don't want to keep this from you like I did about Dad.

I'm leaving, Luce. I can't say that I'll be able to come back, and I can't say that you'll understand when you're older because I don't think that you'll ever be able to understand. Just know that I'm leaving to protect you and Mom.

I did something – something that you would never believe.

It might be best if you tell everyone I'm dead. They won't be able to find me. That being said, I don't care what you do with this letter – burn it, shred it, keep it – just don't let anyone else read it.

Everything in my room is yours now. I guess that's as good a will as I'll be able to make.

I can't express how much I love you in this note alone. I already miss you, writing this letter. It's breaking my heart, and I just...

I'll be okay, Lucy. I promise. You don't have to worry about me.

Love forever and always,

Your brother, Gabriel

Lucilia read the letter once more before she dropped her hands into her lap and looked out the window. Somewhere out there, her big brother was by himself. He had left her... To protect her.

The eight-year-old's mind struggled to understand, but her heart told her that it would all be okay. Because it wasn't the end. Like her brother told her – what was at the base of all of the stories he told her – if it wasn't okay, it wasn't the end.

A/N: This chapter. This is where the story got way more serious than I ever intended it to be, but that's just kind of happens sometimes. I don't know, you guys/girls should have known that this would happen eventually – and for the point that Gabriel pointed out. As for the fluff bit with the princess story. I did happen to come up with that myself, and I feel rather proud of it, so yeah.

Last edited: [May 5, 2018]

Broken Twisted Lullabies: It absolutely makes my day when I get reviews like yours (and any type of review, really). As for your question, the answer would be close but not quite. You're on the right track; however, the formation of Gabriel Bennett's soul would have taken place before the archangel took a vessel.

monkeygirl77: Lucilia will actually make a come back in a few chapters. Gabriel definitely needs a hug, doesn't he… Maybe I'll put one in at some point. I swear you're on to something… I wonder how close you are.