-The Legend of Lank-
-Chapter 4: Troublesome Tom-

When we last left off, our hero, Lank, was confronted and tased by Likeable Likeable Larry. Lank doesn't know why he's in this position, but his best guess is "turtles".

"Y U NO LET ME GO?!" memed Lank.

"...Answers…" replied Larry in the same ominous manner as always.

"Wut kind of answers?"

"Answers to where my knife from the end of the last chapter went."

"Oh...I don't know…...Good-bye!" said Lank as he sped off.

Commence the chase scene! Lank ran forward, even though he has no arms. You'd think that Larry would catch up, but remember, Likeable Likeables are waffles; so, Lank just had to outrun the Octacocks. After a minute, Lank's breath was depleting. It's a side effect of having no arms. The end of the forest was nigh, but Lank would pass out before he could ge there. It was getting dark...losing...consc….ious…...ne…..ss…..

Light poured in from the sky when Lank opened his eyes. He wondered if he was dead. He wondered whether Larry had any other questions. He wondered what happened to Larry's knife. But finally, he opened his eyes and-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!11!" shrieked Lank.

Lank was high in the sky! But what was carrying Lank?

"...AGH, Octacock!" screamed Lank.

"Pipe down, kid. You're gonna make me drop ya!" scolded the Octacock.

"Who are you?"

"Call me Tom, but my friends call me Troublesome Tom."

"Okay, Troubl-"

"Stop. You are not my friend."

"Then why did you save me?"

"My original intentions were to sell you on the blackmarket, but then I had a dream…"

"The black market, really?"

"You wanna hear about my dream or not?"

"Sure, I've got time to kill."

"Don't you have a princess to save? Nevermind, I'll start my story. Okay, one night when I was asleep, I had a dream about strippers dancing on the pole, ya dig?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Then I saw...you *shiver* dancing on it, and I noticed you didn't have arms. So then, a voice told me where to find you and that I needed to save you from evil and crap. They said once you were safe, you would sell good on the blackmarket. ...And that's about it."

"I see…"

Lank had had a similar dream once. After having sixty-nine hangovers in the span of one month, he drank his nightly Vodka and went to bed. His dream was about him and Shecanplayhopscotchetta "getting it on" and whatnot. Lank liked the dream; however, because Sheetta had psychic powers from the Quadforce of Wisdom, she read that dream and told everyone that the condom didn't break. It was pretty humiliating for Lank...until he figured out that his condom brand sucked.

Anyway, Lank and Tom conversed about life and stuff. Tom graduated from Cannon U and is a chef at Quad Spices. He has three kids, a stripper for a wife, and the rest of the family is in jail because of various things ranging from grand theft auto to mass murder.

"Hey, Tom?"

"What?"

"Why do your friends call you 'Troublesome' Tom?"

"Uh...no reason…"

"AGH!"

"*whistle* *whistle* *whistle*"

If you didn't catch that, inconveniently after Lank brought up Tom's name, Lank slipped out of his grip and fell.

What did our hero fall into? Was it water, water, or water? It's a tough choice, I know, but you will truly find out in the next exciting chapter of The Legend of Lank!