CH 4, PT 1: In which Vivienne exacts the her revenge

Well. So much for short chapters.

I was awoken by the sound of someone pounding incessantly at my door. The sun was barely creeping through the narrow windows...it was early. Too early.

"Miss Dawn! Miss Dawn, it's time to wake up!"

"I'm quite certain it isn't!" I called back angrily. "I call shenanigans! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?!"

"Lady Vivienne sent us to fetch you. She said she has a gift for you."

My stomach flopped uneasily. I knew that advice I gave to Blackwall would come back to bite me in the ass, just like that seven day old burrito had back in days of my youth. I banished the unpleasant memories of that particular decision out of my mind and frowned. "Give me a minute."

I was definitely too large to sneak out of the window. Also, both windows opened to steep drops, which would at best hurt and at worst kill, so that wasn't a viable exit strategy anyway. Chances are Vivienne would have sent one person for each door, so that likely wasn't an escape option either. Shit. I was trapped. Trapped like a cynical rat.

"I've thought about it," I called out, unsure of which door to address anymore, "and I think I'll pass. I have everything I could possibly need here, so...no thanks."

There was an ominous pause. "I'm afraid I simply can't take no for an answer, darling." Vivienne drawled back, her tone ironically warm. My stomach flopped once again. "Now be a dear and come out, or we'll be forced to extract you like a rat from it's hole."

"Yeah, I've already drawn that parallel, Vivienne. It's a good one though, so kudos." I sighed and threw my covers off of me. If this was happening, I sure as hell wasn't going to make it easy on her. I messed up my hair as much as possible, made sure my clothes were suitably bedraggled-looking, and didn't bother with shoes. I flung my door open with the biggest smile I could manage. "Well, good morning sunshine! Nothing better to wake up to than a gift!" She barely concealed her sneer with a smile and a gracious nod.

"Indeed. Come along now, dear. We should get you somewhere where you won't scare the children."

"Aw, but it's so funny when they piss themselves." I laughed humorlessly. "Dear lord, strike me down now..." I muttered darkly under my breath, trying to ignore the looks that the people we passed were giving me. This was going to be painful.

She and her two cronies led me to a small, private room where a hot bath had been drawn. Viv motioned toward it gracefully, a placid and benevolent look on her face. "First we should scrub the smell off of you." She wrinkled her nose delicately as she gave me a once over. "And burn those clothes. They smell like wet dog."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure." I started to disrobe as apathetically as possible, all the while planning how I was going to make this somehow go my way. "Although I'm not entirely sure how someone of your stature would even know the smell of wet dog."

She chuckled. "The smell hits you like a wall as soon as you cross Fereldan's border."

"And here I thought you had been caught unawares in the rain one day. Silly me." There was a voice in the back of my head screaming WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS DEAR GOD DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! I tried to not let the panic take over. If this was a battle of wit, I was going to lose, so I figured I might as well go out in flames? Perhaps literally. And it was perhaps the worst idea I had ever had in my entire life, including the burrito.

Shit.

"Give her a really good scrub, dear." Vivienne addressed one of the ladies waiting in the room, who nodded back nervously, before turning her attention back to me. There was a malicious gleam in her eyes. "This is going to hurt, darling." She purred, a smug smile on her face.

I matched her smile with a sadistic grin of my own. "Good. I like it rough."

Her smile faltered slightly before she turned on her heel and made for the door. "Enjoy yourself, dear. This is only the beginning. I have an entire day of surprises planned for you." she called back without turning. The sound of her heels clicking on the stone floors slowly faded.

I gave the servant left behind a chagrined look. "This is going to hurt, isn't it." It wasn't a question.

"I'm sorry, miss. Lady Vivienne was very explicit in her request." The woman, a gentle looking lady probably somewhere in her 50's, gave me an apologetic smile. "But this is a very sought-after treatment in Orlais, I've heard, and the scrubs and soaps are exquisite."

I forced myself into the scorching hot bath and pressed my lips into a thin, determined line. "Let's get this over with, then."

It was indeed painful. First she scrubbed me all over with a loofah made of what felt like steel wool covered in barbed wire, and then she used a soapy scrub that smelled lovely but felt like it was made of glass shards. I was surprised I wasn't bleeding from every pore. Then she scrubbed my scalp for what felt like an eternity, and when it was done I was fairly sure that I didn't actually have any hair left on my head at all. I was, of course, wrong. In the end I was smooth, clean, smelled like an angel's delicious fucking fart, and every inch of my skin felt like it was on fire.

The lady, whose name I asked but promptly forgot, pinned my hair up, gave me a fresh pair of smallclothes along with a chemise and a lovely silken dressing robe, and led me to my next stop along my personal path of hell. I found myself in Josephine's office. A room screen had been set up in the corner, and fluffy bunches of fabric that looked suspiciously like dresses had been slung over the top. Vivienne was chatting amiably with Josephine, who seemed incredibly excited about something.

"I can't believe you convinced her to agree to this!" Josephine gushed. "Believe me, I have tried, but she would never even entertain the idea. And to go to a ball? Just last week she turned down a simple gathering at the tavern!"

Vivienne chuckled and waved her hand dismissively. "My dear Josephine, anyone can be persuaded with the proper technique." She looked over at me and smiled widely. "How do you feel now that you're properly clean, my dear?"

"I feel great." I hissed out through clenched teeth. I didn't bother to smile. Josephine's eyes nervously flicked between Vivienne and I a few times. "Like a snake, freshly out of its skin sock. All smooth."

"Well, it's about time." Vivienne walked over to the screen and pulled out a corset from behind it. "Now, if you're going to attend the ball being held at the Winter Palace, and you ARE going to attend," she ground that part out with the stern voice one uses to let another know that the only way out is death, "you will have to dress appropriately, of course."

"I thought that all of the invitations sent to the Inquisition were already spoken for." I shot back, eyeing her warily. She knew I hated parties. She didn't...

"Well, after I told the Empress of you and your unique situation, she simply had to invite you! The Empress is quite interested in magical oddities, you know." She flashed me that smug smile again.

"Lucky me..." I grumbled darkly, figuring what the next part of my torture was. I stepped behind the curtain, and a lady in waiting was there to tie me into the corset. It was a lovely, shimmery ivory material, and soft to the touch. The lady gave the laces a good pull, and I shot a Viv a glare.

"Now, I'm sure we'll need to give you some lessons on proper conduct." Viv looked down her nose at me, an eyebrow delicately arched.

"I'm sure that once I'm your age I'll have experienced it all and will have all the necessary knowledge, howevHURK-" Viv had given the lady a sharp nod, and a mighty tug on the corset strings was the painful result. "I don't think my ribs are supposed to bend like that..." I wheezed miserably. After a few more futile tugs, the corset was tied.

"Can you breathe?" Vivienne asked.

"Barely." I responded, unsure if a longer sentence was even possible.

"Good." Her tone was dark, and her smile sharp. "Time to pick a dress. Do you have any colour preferences?"

"Nope." As if I would give her any information she could use against me.

"Josephine, dear, what would you recommend?"

Josephine hummed and hawed over the dresses draped on the small wall. "Well, spring colours are in, but I doubt her complexion could carry pastels well..." Two dresses were removed. "Hm...I'd go with the blue or the green." They held the dresses up to my face. I grimaced. "What do you think, Dawn?"

"I think that now would be a good time to simply drop dead of unknown causes."

"Oh, you'll be fine!" Josie cooed at me. "Definitely the blue. It brings out her eyes."

Vivienne hummed in agreement and the other dresses were taken away. "Excellent choice, my dear. Let's get her into it, shall we?"

There was no panniers, at least. They skipped the stockings, as it was just a fitting (and I loudly and unabashedly whined and complained until they relented), and went straight to the petticoats. There was a plain white one made of cotton, followed by a fluffy taffeta one in a soft sky blue. The gown itself was put on much like a jacket, and fastened closed at the front, then laces in the back were used to tighten the fit. This one had pagoda sleeves. I flopped my arms about and frowned as I stared down at the low cut front, showing off all of the boob squished up by the corset and dress front. "I am displeased! I AM DISPLEASED!"

"Oh, hush." Vivienne chided as she brought out a fluffy makeup brush and started patting at my face with it. She tutted at my sputtering. "Stop fussing, dear. You'll get powder all over the gown. It's royal sea silk, you know."

I hissed between my teeth. "I don't care!"

"Where's Leliana?" Josie mused out loud while fussing with the bodice of the dress. I fought to keep my footing as she tugged left and right, trying to shift it about. "She was supposed to bring the shoes..."

"I thought we were friends!" I cried in despair. Was there anyone who wasn't involved in this? We all turned as the door opened. Cullen took a couple of steps into the room before looking up from the report he was reading. He stood stock still, a perfectly blank look on his face, and there was a moment of complete silence as we all just stood around awkwardly. A blush crept up his face as he quickly turned on his heel and walked out of the room with a quiet, exasperated 'Maker's Breath.' I snapped out of my inaction. "Wait, Cullen! I NEED A MERCY KILL!"

Leliana waltzed in just as Cullen was leaving, a stack of boxes in her hands. She let out a soft laugh and shook her head. "Vivienne, I thought you said you were going to inform everyone that the meeting was cancelled?"

Vivienne tapped her chin. "It must have slipped my mind."

I was dead inside. I tried on shoes. They picked a pair of cream coloured satin heels that pinched my toes. They fussed over my hair and brought me a snack when my stomach started growling loud enough to interrupt their conversation. They picked a mask of some description and cooed over it all like I was a dog they were dressing up. I replied with nothing more than zombie-like grunts. Eventually, they removed everything and I was provided with a fresh pair of what was affectionately referred to as the 'beige pajamas' and sent along my way.

I went directly to my room and locked myself in for the rest of the day. I had the feeling that my punishment wasn't over yet. At least I had a few weeks to figure out how to deal with the possibility of actually having to go to the Winter Palace. Falling down the steep set of stairs outside my room was strategy number one. But that wasn't really an option, and I really wasn't going to be able to worm my way out of it without honestly contracting some sort of projectile vomiting illness. I wasn't sure if that was any better than going to a fancy party where someone might stab me with a fork, if the stories were to be believed.

I was so going to get stabbed.

Karma's a bitch.

Aaaaaand SCENE. That's a wrap, people. Same time tomorrow.