A/N: Thank you to hollownature, anon, GW, and NieveDrop for their reviews. And thank you to anyone who put this or its author on their lists. It feels good to be back at it.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bleach characters, manga, anime, movies, etc. They belong by copyright laws to Tite Kubo et al.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

Three Pesky Relatives

By the time Ichigo returned from all the odd jobs, Ikumi had Rukia relaxed and talking. Taking one look at the two women, he instantly regretted leaving Rukia alone with his boss. "So…" he started, not knowing quite what to say.

"Welcome back, Ichigo, how did everything go?" Rukia smiled meaningfully at him, her eyes telling him everything he didn't want to know.

"Fine…"

"Good. I'll make sure to have a list waiting for you when you get out of school tomorrow," Ikumi said, her own smile far from innocent. "Kuchiki-san here tells me that you have a large list for Christmas and that's going to cost you a pretty yen. So I'll be generous and give you extra shifts. Just don't go skipping on me like earlier this year."

"Thanks…"

"Ichigo, you're sounding quite unlike yourself."

"Dad told Ikumi-san everything, didn't he?"

"Yes, I'm afraid he did. I also got a call from Rangiku-san, so you were right about that too. And then somehow, I got a call from Kukaku-san."

"Great… Well, no use worrying about it. They'll just do whatever they want, regardless of what we say. We better head home, though, Rukia, it's almost dinner time and I need to study."

"Sure." Standing and bowing to Ikumi, Rukia collected her school bag. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Ikumi-san. I will try to ensure Ichigo doesn't slack off again."

The Shinigami duo walked home in silence, each lost in their thoughts. Despite trying to keep things low key, the whole gift giving project was turning into a Soul Society wide spectacle. There wasn't a chance that they could keep things quiet and if they tried to hide, someone would just drag them out of whatever hole they managed to find. Isshin met them with delight at the door, not even bothering to attack his son. On any other given day that might have relieved Ichigo, but after learning that the ex-captain had blabbed to everyone he could think of to tell, it just made him suspicious.

"Okay, what stupid thing did you do?"

"My insolent son, how you hurt me! I did nothing but convey to a few people what was going on so they wouldn't bug you."

"Uh-huh. Ikumi-san gave me more shifts so that I could earn enough to buy whatever I needed for the midget and somehow Rangiku-san knows about the whole thing? And why did you tell Kukaku-san?"

"Because she's the head of the Shiba clan, of course. As the head of the branch family, it is my job to report what's happening with my children to her."

"Right, like you were keeping her up-to-date about us all those years you hid."

"Well, she was quite miffed at that but now that everything is out in the open, my dear niece insisted!" Isshin made a wild gesture, his theatrics trying to earn him sympathy. His children, by dint of long experience, ignored him.

Ichigo, knowing how Kukaku "insisted," could only imagine what she'd done to his old man. It would have been nothing less than the coot deserved but he really wished she didn't know what was going on between him and Rukia just yet. "Serves you right for lying to her all these years. I bet she beat you good, didn't she?"

"I did," a new voice interrupted and the daiko froze in abject terror.

"Say, Rukia, if I turn around I'm not going to see my cousin, am I?"

"You'll see both of them," Rukia said, sympathy clear in her voice. "Hello, Kukaku-san, Ganju-san," she greeted politely. They hadn't had any direct dealings for a while but the Shibas were related to Ichigo so she supposed she'd have to get used to seeing them more often.

"Kuchiki. Told your brother I was going to check on things down here. Found out this Christmas holiday hadn't even arrived yet so I told Uncle we'd be sticking around."

"I see. How is Nii-sama?"

Kukaku grinned and leaned against the wall. "He's become such a stick in the mud. Kid was always uptight but he's really taking this whole 'rigid noble' thing to the extreme."

"Oh, so he's like usual. Good to know." Ichigo attempted to move passed his dad and cousin, but only succeeded in getting someone's arm wrapped around his throat.

"Not even going to greet your dear cousin?" Ganju asked, dragging the younger man into the living room.

"How's this for a greeting?" Ichigo asked, throwing him off him like he did his dad. The younger Shiba rolled across the floor, only stopping when he hit the couch.

"Onii-chan, Ganju-niisan, please don't start fighting. Dinner's ready. Rukia-neechan, can you get the water pitcher out of the fridge?" Yuzu was busy putting dishes of food on the table while Karin ladled out rice. The others trailed back into the room, content for the moment.

"You know, Ichi-nii, when you mentioned this morning about getting extra presents for Rukia-nee, I didn't think it was going to be such a big deal," Karin commented once everyone had begun to eat.

"It wasn't supposed to be."

"Nonsense. This is between two noble houses. Did you think that this wouldn't stir up a bunch of crap?" Kukaku asked. "Ichigo's achievements during both wars have caused the new Central Forty-Six to offer to reinstate our noble status with the vote of the other Four Great Houses. I don't think that we'll be the Fifth House again but we'll be up there. Don't yet know if I want to accept, but it's something to think about."

"Kukaku-san, forgive me for asking, but what caused your house to fall?"

"A bunch of little things. Kaien dying from being possessed by a Hollow and Uncle leaving the Gotei were just what did us in completely. According to the other houses, we were never what nobles should be anyway. It took a major political move to knock us out but somehow I can't think it was all the nobles' doing."

"Aizen?"

"Thought has occurred to me," the eldest Shiba admitted.

"I can see how he would have attacked you. With Kaien-dono and Isshin-san gone, your clan was the perfect target. Think about it. You're independent, strong willed, and you don't take crap. Aizen would have known that you'd figure that something was up. With Yoruichi-san gone, the only one in a situation to dig into things would have been you. It wouldn't have surprised me if Kaien-dono's death was a set up."

"Things are so obvious, looking back," Isshin mused. "Well, no more moping, children. It's a festive time of year, and I order you to all have fun." Everyone agreed, the warriors more than ready to throw away morose thoughts. "And since most of you forgot about Daddy's birthday, I demand we make a big splash."

"Your birthday?" Rukia asked. She hadn't known his birthday was this time of year.

"Yeah, he turned another year older on the tenth," Ichigo told her. "Don't know why he makes such a big deal about it. You'd think after a few hundred years he'd want to stop counting."

Yuzu, sensing that a fight was going to break out, although she wasn't sure which of her male relatives was going to get hurt, jumped into the fray to try to turn their attention to Christmas. "Does that mean we can get a big tree and decorate the clinic, and everything, Daddy?"

"Why, yes, my dearest daughter! Let's go all out!"

Karin looked on with disinterest, Ichigo with dread and the residents of the Soul Society with incomprehension. "This is going to turn into a mess," the elder twin commented.

"It usually does."

"Uncle, perhaps you would be so good as to explain about this holiday. I have heard of it before but I never did get a straight answer out of Byakuya." Kukaku was regaled with a tale of tradition and culture from the West and had to admit that any excuse to party was fine with her.

"Oh, you must go shopping with me tomorrow, Kukaku-neesan. I still have to do my shopping for everyone and I haven't had time until now. You can help me get more decorations and we can have Ganju-niisan come along to carry a tree back. Karin-chan, can you and Rukia-neesan clear the usual spot after you get home from school?"

"Sure," they answered, one more reluctant than the other.

"And Onii-chan…"

"Sorry, Yuzu, I have to work after school, but I'll help when I get back." He also had some shopping to do but he didn't say so. There were still a few people on his list that he hadn't gotten anything for and Rukia's extra gifts were still giving him doubts. Days one and two were taken care of and he believed he'd gotten an idea about number three but he had to ask permission when he visited one of his odd jobs tomorrow. He had a wild thought for day five but that still left four and days six through twelve.

"Oh, okay. Can you put in an order for chicken while you're out and about?"

"Now that I can do." Ichigo didn't even bother asking how much. With Ganju present it was a foregone conclusion that he'd need the largest order possible. "You want all the sides too?"

"Yes. Oh, and I'll need to buy ingredients or the Christmas cake…" Yuzu began muttering to herself, earning smiles from her family.

"We've lost her, haven't we?" Rukia asked.

"Oh, yeah. She's in Christmas mode now." Karin chuckled, finishing the last bit of her rice. "So, who has dish duty tonight? Hmm, that'd be Ichi-nii since he skipped out last night, wouldn't it? Well, I guess I'll go do homework. Feel free to watch TV or play a game, Kukaku-nee."

En mass, the others left everything to Ichigo, Rukia giving her daiko a smile as she retreated to his room to work on what they'd been given that night. He stared after them in resignation but without protest before digging in to the mess. Noticing how light the load was, she browsed through the answers Ichigo had already figured out before checking in with her squad just to reassure herself that no emergency had happened. She was exasperatingly told everything was fine and that she was to enjoy the rest of her holiday without worrying about them.

Chuckling, she hung up and contemplated her own Christmas list. Her brother and Renji had been checked off weeks ago, knowing ahead of time that she would be in this dimension during the holiday. While they didn't think too much of a holiday not many Shinigami paid attention to, they had accepted the gifts with grace and had promised not to open them until the twenty-fifth. The other people on her list were left with giant question marks instead of checks.

"Yo!" Ganju interrupted, shaking her out of her confusion. "Uncle said I could bunk in here tonight. Do you usually sleep here too?" He was carrying a futon, a blanket and a pillow against one shoulder.

"I used to," she said. "We usually spend the evening in here doing homework together before I go sleep in the girls' room."

"Does your brother know about you staying here?"

"Here in the house or when I used to sleep here in this room?"

"In the room."

"Ichigo's alive, isn't he?" Her answer made him laugh, the loud guffaws echoing in the silence.

"Oh, then I guess I should tell you that Uncle gave Nee-san your bed in the girls' room and told you to make your bed either in Ichigo's closet or his bed, whichever you prefer." Ganju didn't pay any attention to her sputtering, merely set about spreading out his bedding.

"One of these days…" she muttered. All thoughts of gifts put aside, she went to clear the closet of any debris or dust. Thankfully Yuzu seemed always prepared for her to take up residence and had kept the extra bedding clean.

"Well, guess I'll take a bath and turn in." The youngest Shiba left the room, leaving Rukia to stare after him in consternation.

"I really didn't need to know that."

"Need to know what?" Ichigo walked in, almost tripping over the bedding. "What the…"

"Ganju's bunking on the floor and I've been relegated to the closet. Or your bed, whichever takes my fancy." Rukia finished making the closet a second bed, dropping an old school book on his desk.

"My relatives are going to drive me insane."

"Don't worry, if you ever get that bad, I'll put you out of you misery."

"Thank you," he deadpanned.

"You're welcome."