Chapter 4: Cleanup and Conditioning

(takes place after the destruction of the Reaper on Rannoch, inside Shepard's Cabin)

It was an exhausting and dangerous mission.

Afterwards, Shepard decided to head up to the cabin and get cleaned up. He noticed that his beard was growing out of control but he hadn't done anything about it because he hadn't had the chance, much less even thought about it. He dug out the razor and shaved it back into shape, to where it was pretty much a perfect 5 o'clock shadow. Staring at the mirror, he heard the cabin door open.

It was Ashley of course.

The restroom door was slid open still and she peeked inside from around the corner. Once she noticed Shepard was dressed and at the sink, she assumed it was safe.

"Feeling alright?" she asked.

"I've felt better. But I think it's just the aftershave." Shepard replied jokingly, knowing full well what she was actually asking about.

"I was wondering when you were going to address that problem, Commander." She answered, playing along since she didn't get the direct answer she wanted. Also approaching him to get a feel of his new clean shaven face. To which she got without any resistance from him.

Shepard exited the restroom walking past Ashley and down to the couch located against the wall.

"Figured I've earned at least a few minutes of rest." Shepard said, ranting to himself. "Been running around the damn galaxy non-stop. Feels like it's been years since I just sat down and took a breath."

"Yeah well, you're not the only one that's doing all the running, Skipper." Ashley retorted back, coming over to sit on the couch too. "But….taking down a Reaper on foot? … Then you go and talk to the damn thing?" She continued.

Shepard let out a small laugh.

"Well I wasn't the one hiding in the backseat of a tank."

Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, about that. I really appreciate you stuffing me into a tank with a geth. Haven't had many positive experiences with them if you recall."

Shepard saddened up a bit. Legion sacrificed himself for his people. Ashley wasn't all that familiar with him, so he understood her doubts but it still hurt a little.

"Reminds me of the chat we had with Sovereign." Ashley said in a humorous tone, breaking the silence. "He was one arrogant son of a bitch."

Shepard couldn't help but smile at least a little.

"That he was."

Ashley began again.

"It's always nice when you can put the cocky ones in their place and tell 'em to shove it."

Shepard laughed this time. There she was again, lightening the mood with humor when he needed it the most.

"You know, I've had several people tell me I'm pretty cocky myself…" Shepard said, egging her on.

"Well, to be honest they're not too far off the mark, Skipper. But…I think it has to do with your second-in-command more than anything else."

Shepard playfully rolled his eyes.

"Is that right, LC?"

"Of course." She replied sarcastically.

Shepard pretended to ponder the idea.

"Maybe they just are jealous of my ability to keep my 'yes-men' in check."

This time Ashley busted out laughing, unable to contain it any longer.

"You and I both know that's just a bunch of bullshit, Commander."

"Oh?" Shepard continued on with the heavy sarcasm…

"When the hell was the last time I agreed to any of your insane ideas?" Ashley said attempting to be somewhat serious while recovering from laughter.

"I don't know. One moment sticks out like a sore thumb though."

Ashley wasn't picking up on it.

"WHEN?" she asked.

Shepard shot back.

"You know… took place in a room similar to this one actually. Had something to do with Illos if I remember right."

Ashley picked up the pillow lying on the couch and threw it at him.

"Does NOT count."

Shepard couldn't resist.

"Oh yes it does. And I also seem to remember that it was more of your idea than it was mine."

Realizing she had nothing else to throw, Ashley inched herself close enough to Shepard so she could punch him in the upper arm.

Shepard also realized he had struck some sort of gold.

"Digging deeper I also seem to remember something about dropping to the floor for 20?"

"That's it!"

Ashley jumped up from the couch and threw herself onto his lap. She grabbed both sides of his head and then playfully slapped the right cheek of Shepard's.

"Ahh!" Shepard yelped out. "That still burns damnit."

Ashley smiled and laughed.

Shepard grabbed her by the waist, lifted her up and he threw themselves onto the bed. He was breathing more heavily now.

"Hmm. You're out of shape, Skipper. That Reaper tire you out that quickly? Might need to work on your conditioning, seems like you've been slacking. We may have to push it to 40 now…"

Shepard lied on the bed with her on top of him.

"Is it that obvious?" Shepard asked.

"In more ways than one, Sir."

Almost a full 45 minutes had passed. They were now lying together on the bed. Shepard was fully asleep now but Ash was still fully awake. She lay next to him looking at him as he struggled to sleep. She figured it was best to leave him alone, he truly had to be exhausted now. Ash smiled at that thought. Still, she couldn't help but notice his trouble sleeping. She heard about his nightmares, but seeing him literally in the middle of one was a bit different.

Ash got fully dressed and took the elevator down to the Crew Deck. Figuring she could use something to eat and there might be something she could scrounge from the mess hall. She took her food back into the observatory room, not wanting anyone to bother her and she didn't particularly care to hear any of James' or Garrus' banter right now.

Ash sat wondering about Shepard the whole time, not a whole had disappeared off of her plate. She wanted to help him somehow. Maybe a little R&R on the Commons would help his mind ease off of things she thought.

"Just us two…"

Ashley then picked up her tablet and submitted a message to Shepard over the extranet. It was something she felt a little more comfortable doing this way instead of confronting him about it. It was also a way that would allow Shepard to 'turn her down' on her offer, in case he wasn't sure about wanting to talk about it. Seeing him struggle with the nightmares like that scared her. Worried her. How could something so small bring down such a strong man?

Ashley felt that Shepard was back and fully committed to her again. But it wouldn't hurt if she could dig a bit deeper. Make him actually say it to her directly. It'd help her conscious anyway. And perhaps knowing that she would be there for him no matter what now might help him too, help him relax. She couldn't help but notice the tension he had even when it was just them during more intimate moments. So strung up because of all the weight on his shoulders. Ash desperately wanted to help him take all of the weight off of his shoulders, but she knew that wasn't possible. Shepard wouldn't let her because he also in a way liked having the responsibility. The feeling of being in-control, in-charge, in-command. The final decision maker. It was a trait that Ashley herself admired because it was a similar one to her. She was a leader, not a follower. It was this stubbornness that perhaps led to her not joining Shepard in his fight with the Collectors. She couldn't give up her duties with the Alliance just to blindly follow someone, even if she cared deeply for him.

Ashley felt a tear roll down her cheek. She wasn't one to get choked up easily but this was different.