IN THE END
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin……..all original ideas/characters are mine to claim.

AN: Hi again all! I hope you had a wonderful two weeks! Here is the next chapter and thank you for your reviews and patience!

Warnings: Mild swearing. Flashbacks. Bear with me. Rated PG13.

CHAPTER 4
- Phases -

Due to the little talk we had had, Kenji came straight home every day after school. As usual, he would sit in front of the television and have his music on loud, but I could see him actually writing things down. There was nothing to do but accept the punishment he was given. Actually, I think it was more of the fact that he might have felt a little guilty for what happened the other night.

As for myself, it was kind of easy. He wasn't being a pain in the rear, and I was able to accomplish more of my work. We both realized that if we stayed out of each other's hair we'd be fine. Polite and civil were the two key terms we worked around, although, sometimes, we tended to spout.

I had never really cared what Kenji went to school in, so long as it was decent enough and he wasn't walking around naked. I did get worried a little when I saw him wearing a dark gray shirt that had the words "I HATE LIFE, AND I HATE YOU" written on it. Of course, I didn't say anything. I just hoped that it was one of those phases he was going through. I don't remember being that strange when I was in high school.

I would not be surprised if he went out and died his hair a bright yellow color or something.

It did get me even more suspicious when he asked my opinion on something at the breakfast table the next day. "Is it better to have a big family or a small one?" He was chewing on an apple, his carton of milk by his plate, already half done.

Raising my eyebrows, I put down the plate of sliced eggs on the table. I placed a bowl of miso by him before helping myself to some as well. "It depends on the person." I said cautiously.

"That's why I'm asking you." He told me, exasperated. "What's your opinion?"

I picked up my chopsticks, ready to delve into my bowl of rice. "I guess a small family." I told him. "Why?"

Kenji looked up at me from his plate. He chugged down the rest of his milk before shrugging. "I dunno…..it was a question Kamiya-sensei asked yesterday. I was just curious to know what you thought."

Since when? I couldn't help but be cynical. I shrugged, and took a bite. Yes, rice was definitely better than bread. "What do you think?" I asked.

He seemed pensive, as he started to eat his breakfast slowly. "Well…..I think a small family is good, too."

Finally, something we agreed on.

I smirked. "Being the only child so you can get spoiled?"

He returned the smirk, the corners of his mouth turning up. "It makes no difference whether I am an only child or not: I don't always get what I want." There was a sound of hollowness there, when he said those words.

Tilting my head a little, I decided to poke and push my luck. "So what is it that you want, Kenji?"

He got up from the table. Apparently, the conversation was ended. "You know." He said tightly, grabbing his back pack from the floor and slipping it on.

Summer was fast approaching, and it was getting warmer during the days and at night time, the weather would be freezing. Again, I followed him to the door to see him off. "You don't have a lunch…" I pointed out.

"I can manage." He answered.

"Do you want some money? I might have…."

He waved that off. "I'll be fine." He pulled open the door. "I'm leaving."

I nodded, worriedly. "Okay. Take care."

"I don't see why you care if I do or not." Kenji muttered beneath his breath, before slamming the door behind him.

If you tried to show a bit of understanding or concern, it would offend him. If you didn't, it would still offend him. What was a person to do? Shaking my head, I went to go get ready for work.

>-

Drunkenness is bliss.

The room swirls and the whole world moves as you stand still. It's quite interesting actually, because even the colors seem to blend together in a strange artsy way.

And anything anyone says does not matter. In fact, you find it funny. You find everything funny: even your laughter seems humorous. Then, the strangest things will look beautiful, even if they're horrible.

My head sinks to the table as I try to gather my breath. Yes, every breath hurts. It rattles my insides like living fire that is running wildly. What the heck was put in my drink? I guess it's my fault: I did order the strongest stuff they had on the house. But this was one hell of a drink.

Someone is saying something to me, but I don't understand what it is. Something about a woman. No, I do not want a woman. I want to be left alone. My words are slurred as I say that, but for some reason the person does not want to leave me alone.

Tears fall down my face, as the person tries to get me to stand.

"It doesn't matter….."I moan, trying to shrug the fingers away. "…It doesn't matter."

"It does, Kenshin." The voice is saying.

My head shakes, and I try to get up. His hand is under me, supporting me as I slump forward. I am like some rag doll whose strings are cut and I hang limply. I don't care.

Underneath me, the solid hardwood floors seem to swim. And I feel like I'm drowning, so I pull rapid breaths, each one like a miserable jagged glass stuck in my system, in a panicked manner. I want to hurl. The tears drip down my chin and onto my shirt, and with a breathless sob, I pull away from his hands.

His voice is careful, his hands still supporting me despite my strange attitude. "Watch it, kid." He murmurs. "You're not yourself."

"It doesn't ever matter." I muttered, letting my glass fall to the floor. It breaks into shards both big and small. I think it makes a beautiful noise and a wonderful display. Apparently he doesn't think so, as he curses.

"Shit, Kenshin! Watch out!" He cries, pulling me away from the mess that I made.

I get angry. I don't like it when people shove me around. I don't like it when people tell me things that I don't want to hear. My stomach is gurgling up at me, and it makes me mad. I lash out, my hand swiping and hitting him across the chest. He stumbles back, grabbing my fist and stopping my pathetic onslaught of attacks.

He is saying something, but I can't understand again. All that is in my mind is the thought of despair: there was no hope. No matter what I did…….

No hope...

>-

I was in the middle of getting ready to go home and punch out, but a co-worker by the name of Komagata Yumi stopped me. I felt my cheeks go red as she pushed the telephone towards me. She was always intimidating, as she had a commanding air about her always. What was with all those low cut tops anyway? If she leaned forward any more, her breasts would have spilled out from her shirt.

Embarrassed, I glanced away, taking the phone from her. I managed to mumble a thank you and then turned to see who it was on the other line.

It was probably Sanosuke again, as he was in town. For the last couple of days he had been pestering me to get together with him and do something fun. Actually, I knew he was worried about me, again. So when I was told that I had a phone call, my mind drifted back to that time…..

And when I realized that it wasn't him on the phone, I was jolted back into the present.

"Who is this?" I demanded, as I had not quite heard the first time. All I knew was that it wasn't the voice of my friend.

"This is Kaoru: Kamiya Kaoru? Kenji's biology teacher?"

I relaxed a little then. She seemed to press on, her voice urgent. "I'm really sorry to disturb you at work, Himura-san, but it's about Kenji…….."

"Didn't he go to class?" I asked, a bit irritated.

She sounded miffed. "Yes, he did, but it's not about that. I need you to come to school right away."

Now the anxiety was back. "What did he do this time?" A list was running through my head: damage to property, illegal drugs, suicide…….. I scratched that last thought, but my hand did tighten over the telephone's slim white handle.

"I can't explain right now, Himura-san, but if you will kindly just go to where we met before……" She trailed off, and she must have covered the mouth piece with her hand because I could hear muffled voices but could make no sense out of any of it. It sounded heated and tense. Then the line clicked as if she forgot that I was on the phone all together and hung up on me.

Now flustered I put down the phone as well. God, I hated being a parent. There was always more than enough to think about. It kind of frustrated me too: why couldn't Kenji be a good kid like every other parent I talked with? Their kids were little princesses or scholars bringing home awards and trophies, while mine brought me tickets and fines along with hangovers and records.

Grabbing my pack, I stuffed everything else into it and then went to punch out. Yumi seemed a bit surprised as I practically flew toward the door. "I'm leaving ahead!" I called.

"Okay……good work!" She called back.

Despite her attitude, she was always nice to me. She had a rather nasty side to her and I felt sorry for anyone who got onto her bad side. Whenever Sanosuke and her got into a verbal fight, I ran for cover. However, she seemed rather laid back on me: she liked to make me blush as much as possible though, embarrassing me to no end sometimes.

That was okay with me. She covered for me if ever I got into trouble with our boss. Even though she prodded me for answers to my problems, I just couldn't open up to her. I couldn't open up to a lot of people as I kept things to myself most of the time. It wasn't healthy, but it was better than loading your shit on someone else.

This time, it was faster to get to the school because the bus was right outside when I exited the building. It was painted a strange array of colors, like a painter had come along and closed his eyes tightly, chose any random color every five seconds, and lathered it on.

The bus driver was in a bright magenta color, which looked strangely more pink than red. After giving my bus fare, I took a seat at the very back, far away from the bickering of two men who were sitting up front.

Antisocial? I'd say so.

Rushing past all the people who were exiting the school and gaining strange looks, I made my way up to the correct room this time without having to take so much time just to figure out where exactly it was. I could hear the arguing that was going on in there anyway.

It was a boy and Kaoru: it did not sound like Kenji.

He was there though, sitting on a chair, his arms draped on the back of it, lazily. His lip was still bleeding no matter how much he tried to keep it from spilling. As usual, his eyes were angry.

The tall boy arguing with Kaoru was bleeding down his arm and had a bust lip too. One of his eyes had a nice bruise. It looked like there had been a fight.

"If he hadn't said that……." The boy started to complain.

"It makes no difference!" Kaoru scolded. She finally recognized me standing there. "Himura-san, I called you here because I wanted you to pick your son up."

Kenji snorted. "I don't need an escort to go home, you know." The angry eyes were staring at me hotly.

Just what was going on around here?

Kaoru scoffed. "Yeah, and I suppose you would want the police to start questioning, and for them to escort you home?"

Tension expanding, I breathed. "What happened?"
The boy interjected. "It was all his fault!"

Kenji stood up straight as I turned my glare to him. "Well?" I demanded. I liked to hear both sides of the story. Unlike my father who assumed everything was my blame, I didn't want my son believing that I picked on him all the time.

"I didn't lay the first punch." Kenji grumbled, flicking the back of the chair sullenly with his thumb. "….All I said was that I wasn't going to work with a prep." He added. "That's all."

That was it? And there had been a brawl over something so immature?

Yet, Kenji had provoked it.

I must have had wide eyes, because I blinked when Kaoru nudged me with her elbow.

I turned to the kid, having no more patience left that day. "Just apologize and that will be that."

The boy sputtered in disbelief. "What! I wasn't the one who….."

"But you hit him." I pointed out.

"Kenji should say sorry too." Kaoru noted quietly. The boy standing beside her smirked at me. I had the thought to deliver him a good whack myself – did he honestly think I was trying to double team him?

My son looked up, a sly smile on his face. His eyes lit up, in a mocking way, and he apologized, after coming off of his seat and giving his classmate a gracious bow and a very humble apology. Either he really meant it, or pulled the lie off really smoothly, because the other boy seemed to forgive him. He went home shortly afterwards.

I knew for a fact that Kenji was bullshitting. He even turned to me and asked innocently, "Shall we go home now, dad?"

Staving off my anger, I nodded curtly. Obviously, Kaoru did not seem to notice any of the pretense, because she cheerily thanked me for coming and announced that the ordeal had gone better than expected.

I couldn't help but watch Kenji like a hawk a he went about slowly, getting his things together. He met my eye, that same mischievous glint was in them, and he looked away. What he was thinking – no, plotting – I had no idea. I was afraid to find out, so I decided to play it cautious.

"Would you like a ride home, Himura-san?" Kaoru asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts. Kenji was slipping his textbook into his knapsack absently, with painful slowness. "I am worried that the police will stop you both anyway and demand what happened…….."

Putting my hands up, I declined her offer politely, but being the type of girl that she was, she insisted. "They might think you abuse him……and might make false accusations."

Now, she had a point. And knowing Kenji, he probably would not try to stand up for me, but rather egg them on. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, and glared at the floor beneath me. "If it's not too much trouble then." I muttered.

Kaoru seemed more than delighted.

Kenji looked a bit stricken. "You can drive, sensei?" He asked, incredulously.

She scowled. "Of course I can!" Haughtily she tossed her long black ponytail over her shoulder, and began stuffing her books and things together. If I hadn't reached over and steadied the stack of papers piled at the corner of her desk, she would have had to pick them off the floor.

Her desk was a mess. Three coffee mugs were sitting on the other side of her desk, each used and not washed. Her pens were scattered, as were her pencils. A number of pictures hung on the wall next to her chair, of students, no doubt, who cared enough to give her a photo of themselves.

She didn't seem to notice me staring disdainfully at the clutter, as she began to hoist her full bags in her arms. Being a gentleman, I was obliged, of course, to carry them for her: as if my pack wasn't heavy enough. No grumbling on my part.

Her car was a small blue Toyota Rav 4. It was a bit muddied around the wheels, but that was normal for a car. Small dolls hung from her rearview mirror. If Kenji didn't watch cartoons as much as he did, I would not have recognized the small transformers figures that were stuck onto her dashboard.

My son took one look in the car and pursed his lips. Maybe that was a sign that he disliked her decorations, or then again, maybe it was a sign that he approved of it, but with Kenji, one could never be too sure. Thankfully, he was silent for most of the ride, occasionally answering the questions Kaoru posed to him.

She was a cheerful person, chatting happily about the next project she was going to make the students do: whether biology had anything to do with love and society. It seemed that she was a fantastical girl too. I couldn't help but smile at her innocence. She saw that, and beamed. And strangely, I blushed and looked out the window.

At that point in time, she had reminded me of…..

"So, Himura-san, did I catch you at a bad time when I called?" She asked, glancing at me through the rearview mirror. That snapped me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head, cracking my knuckles uncomfortably. Kaoru winced and glared at me. "Don't do that!" She berated, "The tissues will not repair easily and you will get arthritis when you are older!"

I actually chuckled. "Well, I already am old and I have been doing this for quite a while. I don't have arthritis yet."

She turned her eyes toward the road again, huffing a bit. She turned the corner into my street. "Suit yourself, but don't say I didn't warn you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes mother." I joked.

I could see Kenji scowl from the back seat. He kept his gaze trained to his left side's window after that. He was biting down on his molars because the muscle in his cheek moved every time he clenched his teeth.

Kaoru laughed and reached over to swat me. I hunched and shied away: her punch hurt. Luckily, we reached the house before she could beat me up any more.

It was a small building that was a soft red brown color, made of sturdy brick. The roof was a green color. The gardens were neatly trimmed, a few flowers were planted. The blinds to the windows were closed so that no one could see into the house.

Kenji was out almost immediately, muttering a thank you under his breath as he went. He flew up the porch steps and was in the house even before I could get my seatbelt unbuckled. I shot his teacher an apologetic look for his rudeness, and thanked her myself before stepping out.

She grabbed the hem of my sleeve though, causing me to utter a sound of protest as I stumbled back.

"Himura-san, I am really worried about your son….." She started to say. "And I mean, really worried. He doesn't ever smile and….I just thought that perhaps he was troubled in some way?"

I had to bend uncomfortably to talk to her normally. "He….doesn't like people prying into his life." I said finally. "He has some…issues….."

She tilted her head a bit, staring up at me with those huge blue eyes. "Issues?"

I tensed. "That is none of your business, Kamiya-san." I said as gently as possible. "He's been like this for quite a while….."

For some reason, her eyes filled with tears, and she nodded a bit. "Okay, I'm sorry." She mumbled, firing her engine to life again. The car sputtered in protest and she glanced at me again, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry…." She whispered again.

I hated seeing girls cry and I felt awful when I saw them streak down her cheeks. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh, Kamiya-san….." I said lamely. "And……I thank you for your concern….and if ever there is another problem, please do not hesitate to call me." I ran my hands through my hair. "Thank you again for the ride."

This time, a smile lit her face and she nodded. She backed out of my driveway and waved before driving her car down the street. It turned at the corner, and disappeared out of sight.

Turning, I made my way into the house. To my surprise, Kenji was not listening to his rock music. In fact, the whole house was quiet. The kitchen light was on, proving that he had been in there earlier. Other than that, everything else was dark. I found his backpack strewn in the hallway carelessly, as he seemed to have just thrown it there without thinking.

The lamp in his bedroom was on, and I cautiously peeked in to see if he was okay. He was lying on his bed, still dressed in his school clothing, hugging a pillow to himself. He lay motionless.

"Kenji……."

His voice was muffled against the fabric. "Go away……."

"Are you hungry?" I asked, after a silence.

"No."

"What's wrong?"

He hugged the pillow tighter. "Nothing." He muttered. I think I heard him sob, I'm not sure. Maybe it was a hiccup.

Not convinced, I began to close the door, but hesitated. "…….Are you sure?"
Kenji angrily ripped the pillow away from his face. "You just had to bring that up back there, didn't you?" His face was flushed red, a few tears in his eyes.

I held my hands up in defense. "I wasn't directing the comment to you." I told him. "And I didn't think something like that would offend you so much….."

"You knew it would!" He accused. He paused for a moment, before crying out wildly, "I'm not hungry, so leave me alone!"

I lingered at his door for a moment, before closing it behind me. With my back to it, I let my head thump against it. "I'm sorry."

Kaoru's words, "Perhaps he is troubled in some way….." rang in my head as I prepared dinner.

0-0-0-0-0

That night, I had a dream. No, it was more of a nightmare. It started out like a dream anyway. It was all so blurry, because I was in a place that I knew…..yet didn't know at the same time.

>-

I take the hand that is offered to me, willingly. I smile, curling my fingers around it, and it intertwines in mine.

She smiles at me, and says something, and I can't help but feel so excited. She is so beautiful, her black hair and fair skin seeming to shine. Of course, she is gorgeous in her dress. Like a little girl, she twirls and the fabric seems to catch the air and dance as she shows it off.

She wears no makeup, and she doesn't need it. I tell her so. She is so very beautiful to me.

Her voice is a ringing melody in my ear as she leans her slim body against mine and kisses me.

I melt instantly, my arms pulling her close, but she lets it linger for only a few moments, before she pulls away teasingly.

"Why me….?" I whisper, wanting to savor her warmth.

She pulls me along, down a lighted corridor, her footsteps light and whispering against the floor. The smell of the hall is dank and muffled with cigarettes.

Then, bright lights and white sheets stare at me. My hands reach out to trail them, almost reverently.

"I'm sorry." A voice of a man says behind me.

No, you're not sorry, you bastard. You're not the least bit sorry. You walk away right after that, speaking to your friends as if whatever happened was the easiest thing to accept. But for me, it crushes my heart, like a million needles that are able to make strong pillar collapse.

How come?

I curl up in the corner and cry. My chest heaves with every sob and my head hurts as every tear falls. It soaks the flannel pants that I am wearing, turning them into a darker blue color as the cool salty liquid penetrates into the material. I curse the world.

It's never fair.

>-

And then, I woke up, feeling myself trembling. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Taking a deep shuddering breath, I sat up, trying to calm my racing heart. I suddenly wanted a drink, or a cigarette, but there was none at hand.

I pulled my arms around myself, as my body shook uncontrollably. The blankets were in my lap, tangled. My pajamas felt like it was choking me, so I undid the first couple of buttons to my shirt.

The tears though, wouldn't stop.

They would never stop.

Families don't tend to be very big in Japan anymore, as it is a small country and the economy isn't the greatest. Also, teachers are protective of their students and if anything concerns them, they take it right to the parent so it will be solved immediately. Thus, Kaoru is not being a regular pain in the ass, but doing her duty.

To Be Continued……..

AN: hey guys, thanks for the wonderful reviews. Um, yes, when it comes to K/K, those of you who know how I write already know that I don't like rushing relationships. It will be K/K in time, but patience is needed. And many questions will be answered. Whenever I switched to PRESENT tense, it was Kenshin's memories. They will make sense in the later future.

For now, please leave me a review, and the next chapter will come out soon!

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