Author's note: I hope this update was quick enough after that extremely long wait I put you through, and I hope it answered some of your questions. I promise I will try to update more often, at least once a week. Thank you for reading and please review to let me know what you think! :)
Also, important notice, rating changes to R, maybe NC17 to be safe, for this chapter.
You Found Me: Chapter Four
June 2012
The alcohol burned my throat as I took another shot. And another. And another. Soon they all blurred together and I had no idea what number I was on and my head was foggy and my vision was hazy, but people kept cheering so I kept downing the shots faster than Puck could refill the glass.
Everyone's eyes were on me, everyone was cheering me on, and I took yet another shot. I looked around smiling, but I noticed a face was missing. Where the fuck was my girlfriend? I only ever do things like this because I know it turns her on to see me so loose and carless, and she'll end up ravishing me in the bathroom or something. So where was she?
Puck poured me another shot but I swatted it away. "Where's Brittany?" I asked. He just shrugged and tried handing me the glass again. I pushed it away again and it spilled on his shirt. Before he could yell at me, I took off. I had to find Brittany. We were here to celebrate that we had finally graduated from that hellhole called McKinley and I wanted to celebrate with her.
I stumbled out of the kitchen of whoever's house this was—I couldn't remember, I was too drunk. She wasn't in the living room. Hm, normally she would just sit on the couch and wait for me when she got tired at parties. Was something wrong? Was she alright? I couldn't stand thinking that something might have happened to her, so I continued my search.
I knocked on the bathroom door and some guy who was taking a piss told me to go away. I happily obliged; he wasn't Brittany. I went to this other closed door and opened it. It was a bedroom, whoops. And Artie was—hold up, Artie? I did a double take and yes, that was Artie. I knew some of the glee kids were here but he was the last one I expected.
He was sitting on the bed, and his pants were down, and…was that a head between his legs? A blonde head? Fuck, I would know that blonde head anywhere. What the fuck was she doing. No, no, no, this wasn't happening. "Brittany?" I choked out.
Brittany looked up. Being drunk, I was already emotional. This just threw me over the edge and I started to cry. And for a moment it was like she didn't realize why I was so sad. That just made it worse.
She suddenly jumped away from Artie, like she only just noticed what she was doing. She was drunk, I could tell the way she could barely pick herself up off the ground. She started walking, well, stumbling towards me. "San…" She reached out to me.
"Don't touch me!" I shrieked, and swatted her hand away. She tried to say something, probably apologize or explain herself, but I didn't give her the chance. I turned around and bolted out of there. I felt sick, and not just because of all the alcohol.
I ran outside and sat in my car and cried and cried. Sobs rocked through me and I choked on my salty tears. My whole world had just been pulled out from under me. Brittany was my world.
I saw her running out of the house to me, so I turned on my car and drove away. Probably not the smartest thing I've ever done, considering that I was drunk and emotionally unstable and couldn't see through my tears. I almost rear ended a car twice, and nearly hit a stop sign, but I made it home safe.
Before I knew what I was doing, I had a few suitcases open on my bed and I was shoving everything I owned into them. I only left one thing, sitting on the bed: the charm bracelet Brittany had gotten me for my last birthday.
Soon enough, all the bags were in the back of my car and I was driving out of Lima. I didn't know where I was going, I just needed to get out of there. I was still drunk, and I was still crying, but there were no more tears. It was just dry sobs, which was so much worse.
I knew I wouldn't make it very far like this, but I headed west and didn't stop until I found a motel to stay the night in that didn't look like I would be murdered in my sleep. I checked in, and headed straight for the bed. I left everything in my car except for a bottle of Advil which I set on the bedside table. I knew I would need that in the morning. As I fell asleep, I thought of all the different places I could go. California seemed nice…
Brittany stared at me across the table. I thought I had fixed my heart over time, but now she was just ripping off all the bandages I spent so long placing. I wanted her out.
"Why did you leave me?" she asked.
I laughed. "Are you seriously asking me that? Do you even remember what you fucking did?" I was almost shouting. Over the past few years, I had turned from the emotional drunk into the angry, bitchy drunk. A few other people at the restaurant looked at our table warily.
"Keep your voice down!" Brittany warned. "I just want to know why you thought it was necessary to disappear off the face of the earth! We could have talked about it, San."
"Don't call me 'San'," I hissed. "There was nothing to talk about. You were my entire world, Brittany. You were everything and after you did that, I had nothing. Everyone back in Lima hated me. My own parents didn't even like me! You were all I had and you just had to go and rip out my fucking heart." I tried to keep my voice down but my bitterness was taking over and I didn't know how much longer I would last without blowing up.
Brittany looked down, ashamed, and said in a small voice, "You didn't give me a chance to apologize."
"I wouldn't have forgiven you anyway," I spat back.
"But San—"
"No! Fuck you, Brittany!" I gulped down the rest of my wine (my fifth glass, I think) and stood up to walk away. "I thought I could do this, but I just can't. I don't know how the fuck you found me, but I don't want you around! You lost the right to be part of my life five years ago, and I'm doing just fucking fine without you!" I was definitely shouting now, and people were staring, but I didn't care.
I ran out of there and didn't look back until I reached the door. She looked heartbroken. I almost felt bad. But I continued out of there, got in my car, and drove away. We never even got to order.
I was pretty drunk though, and I lived to far to drive home safely this drunk. I only knew one person who lived nearby and three minutes later, I was banging furiously on the door of Sarah's apartment.
Sarah looked me up and down, concerned, but before she could ask what was wrong I flung my arms around her neck and kissed her furiously. She was shocked, but kissed back after a moment. Her arms snaked around my waist as she pulled me inside and kicked the door shut.
I didn't think through what I was doing, I just did it. I was drunk, after all. And it felt so good to be kissed by someone like they wanted me, like, really wanted me, so I went with it. Before I knew it, we were in her bed, stripping off articles of clothing as quickly as we could while separating our lips as little as possible. A shoe here, a shirt there, and soon enough we were both naked. I pushed her back onto her bed and fell on top of her, our breasts pressing against each other's. I sucked on her neck, and she moaned, moving her fingers to grab my hair.
I wanted things to move more quickly, so with hardly any foreplay, I slid two fingers inside her. I moved against her thigh to get my own satisfaction, and we both gasped and moaned and thrusted. She pulled my mouth down to hers to muffle her scream when she came. I continued moving against her and when I finally reached my climax, everything felt so good but nothing felt right. There was a blonde I couldn't get out of my head, and it most certainly was not the one underneath me.