Disclosure: JK Rowling created and rightfully owns Harry Potter. I simply aim to give you a few happy minutes waiting at the doctor's office, as we imagine our favorite book characters living on past Deathly Hallows.
November 1998
Sunday, 1 November 1998
Dear Hermione,
A Gryffindor doling out bogus points to the Slytherins? I never thought I'd see the day. I just graded some Third Year essays. Tomorrow morning I will be quite pleased to give 10 bogus points to a gangly Third Year Slytherin named Mr. Hollings for his excellent essay on "Why students should not hex, set fire upon or steal from Potions Bastards." I'm pretty sure that's what the topic was. I didn't actually read his essay that closely.
My Seventh Year students are quite brilliant. They humble me, Hermione. Ever since I let them see my memories in the pensieve, they seem to have become quite protective of me. Somewhat like an irrational know-it-all with whom I converse upon occasion. Some of the Prefects, plus the Head Boy are in my class, and they have actually taken points from their own House because of younger students being disrespectful toward me. I only know this because Minerva was furious at the Gryffindor Prefect for taking away house points until the story came to light. We have apparently both fallen into the same rabbit hole.
Of course I am researching right now. Currently, I am researching the magical signature of hexes. I will never be out know-it-alled, Hermione. Please remember that for future reference.
I made it through October. And I actually enjoyed the Halloween Feast for the first time in years. Hagrid's giant pumpkins were on display. They had been exquisitely hollowed out, by teaspoon, I think. I also got to take house points from Gryffindor for spiking the punch bowl, but not before offering some to Minerva and then daring her to transform. She didn't take the bait, but it was still worth it to hear her yell at me in ancient Scottish brogue.
Congratulations on making it through your first two months at Pureblood U.
Your friend,
Severus
Wednesday, 4 November 1998
Dear Severus,
I see that I have changed from "insufferable know-it-all" to "irrational know-it-all". Is that an improvement? I also see that I have competition for top know-it-all. I would like to compare our findings about the magical signatures for the vanity potion. Would that be acceptable to you?
We have both, indeed, made it through our first two months. Congratulations to you, as well. I'm exhausted, though, to be honest. I don't know how you coped teaching during the day and going to Voldemort at night, or Albus at night, or Order meetings at night.
I'll stop whining now and get back to the grindstone.
Your friend,
Hermione
Sunday, 8 November 1998
Dear Hermione,
Why are you exhausted? Are you still not sleeping?
I think you know how I coped those last years teaching during the day and being a spy at night: I didn't. Surely you don't think the Professor you endured for six years was an example of someone coping well under extreme pressure.
I know I mentioned not sleeping back in September, but that was actually a one-off occurrence since the end of the war. A certain irrational know-it-all (definitely an improvement, by the way) had sent me a letter and my head was swimming.
Where the hell is my headstrong Gryffindor?
Your friend,
Severus
Wednesday, 11 November 1998
Dear Severus,
I have heard awful news from Harry. Teddy Lupin is starting to show signs of changing into a werewolf. He's only six months old! The full moon was last Wednesday and he showed partial metamorphosis. You may have already been contacted. I'm not sure if anyone else can brew Wolfsbane for them, and it looks like he will need it.
I have already filed a change with Professor Cramer regarding my Potions project. I am going to try to advance a cure for lycanthropy. I know that I will not succeed this semester. I will technically fail the Potions project, but I will advance to second year, as I will have fulfilled my requirements. This will most likely be my project for second year, as well.
I am allowed to work with other people, even those who are not students at Uni. I asked Professor Cramer if I could consult with you. His exact words were: "I don't care. You are still going to fail." With that stunning recommendation, I am asking you to please work with me on this project. I can't accept a 'no', Severus. I need you.
I don't know how you feel about being asked, yet again, to give of your life, your talent and your time to help a Marauder. I can only tell you this: if it were your son, I would not accept a 'no' from Remus or James or anyone else.
Your friend,
Hermione
Sunday, 15 November 1998
Hermione,
I will brew the Wolfsbane for the child. That is all. I will not hear another word about it. And insulting me further will not make me change my mind.
Severus
Severus walked miles that night in the corridors of the castle instead of sleeping. Here he was, yet again, being asked to do right for men that did not deserve it. Remus and James were dead; it shamed him for thinking ill of them. But he couldn't help thinking that if it hadn't been for the Marauders, maybe it could have been himself with the son and the wife that loved him. That choice was not available to him. That choice had never been available to him. The years of hell at Hogwarts at the hands of the Marauders had driven him to Voldemort and his fate was sealed. That salt could have been ground into his wound by anyone else and he would have taken it. But from Hermione? First Lily, then Voldemort, then Albus, now Hermione. Here he was again: thinking he had someone he could believe in, a friend, just to find out it was a mirage.
Monday was a blur. By the end of the day, he couldn't remember what he had taught, just that the day was over. He skipped dinner in the Great Hall. He didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone's curious looks in his direction.
Sitting in his office, he tried to grade the essays from the Fourth Years. He was about to give it up as a bad job when someone knocked.
"Enter."
When he saw Harry's form come into his room, all of the anger and pain from the previous night resurfaced.
"What the hell are you doing here, Potter?" he asked, with equal measure of anger and weariness.
Harry entered and sat across from Severus at his desk. "Hello, Professor Snape. I'm here to talk to you about something important."
"I have already agreed to brew the Wolfsbane for Teddy Lupin. You may leave now."
"Thank you, sir. Who told you? Hermione? Hardly anyone knows, we're trying to keep it out of the press."
"Yes, it was Hermione," Severus growled.
"What's wrong?" Harry joked. "Is she driving you mad with potions theories already?"
"We won't be working together on her little project, Potter." The venom was practically dripping from Severus' voice.
"'Little project'?" asked Harry incredulously, getting to his feet once more. "What the hell is going on? Are you mad at Hermione? Because she's helping my godson?"
Severus stood abruptly, eyes narrowing as they looked at Harry. "Your Hermione decided the best way to coerce me to help your godson was to insult me. I don't take lightly to insults, as you may well remember."
Harry looked dumbfounded. He calmly took a step back and took a deep breath. "She didn't," he replied baldly. "She would never insult you. I don't know what you read, but I know Hermione."
"Read the damn letter." Severus growled as he sat down and threw the letter from his pocket at Harry. He would normally never let anyone, much less Harry, glimpse into his personal life, but the fear that he could have misunderstood Hermione was frightening enough to make him give in this time.
Harry sat down. He read the letter and placed it back on Severus' desk. He buried his face in his hands and sighed. When he looked back up, Severus could read both the pain and the seriousness in Harry's eyes.
"She wasn't insulting you."
Feeling a glimmer of hope and hating himself for it, Severus asked angrily, "Pretending that anyone could envision me with a family, or fighting for that family is ridiculous. When has anyone ever fought for me?"
"She fought for you, damn it!" Harry yelled, standing again. He began to pace violently in Severus' office.
Severus felt the blood drain from his face. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"She found you alive in the Shack."
"An Auror found me."
"Who the hell do you think told the Auror you were there? She went back for your body by herself and found that you still had a pulse. She sent her Patronus to an Auror in the castle. She made him take a wand oath not to harm you or take you anywhere before she would allow him to see you. She and the Auror stabilized you."
Harry paused and sat back down.
"She apparated you to St. Mungo's and wouldn't release hold of your body until every healer in the room took the same wand oath not to harm you or send you anywhere. She was scared to death they would send you to Azkaban or kill you on sight. While you were in a coma, she fought tooth and nail for you. We hadn't slept in days and the whole wizarding world was in disarray, but all of the focus was on you! And why? Because Hermione decided that you were worth fighting for. She treated Kingsley like a First Year found after curfew until he called a special session of the Wizengamot and they cleared your name. And who was there? I was. Minerva was. Albus' portrait was there. All because Hermione was not going to give us a damn moment's rest until it was done."
"I…" Severus began, but Harry interrupted him.
"Never, not once, has Hermione insulted you. Did I? Absolutely. And ever since we were eleven years old, Hermione would have nothing of it. If she wrote that she would fight for a son of yours, she meant it with all respect. She fought for you to have a future. Is it so outrageous that she could envision you having a family one day?"
Severus was numb and his voice was emotionless. "How come I was not told the truth? All I was told when I woke up was that an Auror found me alive and that I was cleared by the Wizengamot. I never knew…"
"She didn't want you to feel in debt to her. She said you had paid your debts. Only Minerva, the Auror and Kingsley and I know the truth."
After a long pause where Severus was barraged by painful memories of Lily and sleeping outside of Gryffindor Tower, he finally spoke aloud. "I've lost her."
"Shit. What did you do?"
"I sent her a letter telling her I would not talk to her about her project. I told her that insulting me would not make me change my mind."
Harry visibly relaxed. He looked at Severus levelly and shook his head. "You haven't lost her."
Severus watched Harry curiously as Harry was obviously deciding whether or not to say more.
"In for a knut…" Harry began.
Severus raised his eyebrow at him, unsure of where this conversation was going. "In for a galleon?"
Harry nodded and said slowly, "You never lost her."
Severus furrowed his brow. "What are you on about, Potter?"
"You know that smug look Hermione always gets when she's been proven right?" Harry asked.
Severus nodded and rolled his eyes, having seen that particular look from Hermione too many times to count.
"That's the look she had when she came out of viewing your memories in the pensieve. Hermione was completely unruffled. That's when she marched out without another word to retrieve your body. I think she knew all along that you were on our side." Harry paused. "She never talked to anyone about it, but I'm sure I'm right."
Only years of occlumency and spying saved Severus from displaying the overwhelming shock that he was feeling.
Severus gathered his wits about him and took a deep breath. He looked at Harry once more. "Thank you, Potter."
"You're welcome, Sir. Do you have a plan?"
"I need to see her and apologize. I will ask Minerva to set up a portkey for me to go right now." Severus stood and began thinking of the task ahead of him.
Harry stood to take his leave. "Good luck, Sir. And if you can manage it, I'd appreciate it if you would make sure Hermione doesn't hex me for telling you all of that." Harry smiled at him.
Severus took a look at the man standing before him and considered the odd, continued intertwining of their lives. "If she doesn't hex me to oblivion first, I'll make sure of it."
Harry nodded and left, closing the door behind him.
Severus walked quickly to Minerva's office and gave the gargoyle the password.
As he entered Minerva's office, she glanced at him over her spectacles, and then turned her attention back to the parchment in front of her. "Are you ill, Severus? I didn't see you at dinner. You don't look well."
"I'm not ill Minerva, but I need your help. I need to go to Bristol. Will you set up a portkey for me to go tonight?"
Minerva's head came up to look at him square on. "It's eight o'clock at night on a Monday. What could possibly be so important? Is Hermione in trouble?"
Severus furrowed his brow. "No, she's not in trouble, but I need to see her." He paused. "I need to apologize for something."
Severus was grateful that she didn't press him for more details, but the look of calm anger on her face was almost as bad. She opened one of her drawers and pulled out a chipped teacup. After a series of wand movements, she looked back at him. With narrowed eyes focused on his, she spoke to Severus. "This will take you to the Apparition Lobby of Bristol. The Library is on the 2nd floor. It's as good as a place to start as any, I suspect. It will return you just outside the gates of Hogwarts. I expect you back before breakfast. And we will be discussing this, Severus."
Unwilling to worry about Minerva just then, he thanked her and grabbed the teacup. He tapped the teacup as he intoned, "Portus."
A jerk behind his navel was followed by the characteristic dizziness before he landed roughly in the Apparition Lobby of Bristol University.
Feeling unsettled both physically and mentally, he used every year of experience intimidating students as he glowered at the receptionist. Severus noted the sign above her desk, which noted the time that the apparition lobby would close: 10:00 p.m. The receptionist shrunk a little bit as she asked for Severus to present his wand. Severus laid his wand on the brass scale and it printed out a receipt with Severus' name and wand statistics. The receptionist took the paper and placed it on a spike. She then proceeded to point her own wand at the glass doors that led into the University's main building. "Thank you, Mr. Snape. You may pass through now."
Severus nodded curtly and then passed through the door. He quickly found the stairs and headed up to the 2nd floor. As he reached the doors of the library it occurred to him that he really had no plan past this point. But there was nothing to be done for it, so he opened the doors and entered the Library. It was much larger than the library at Hogwarts. He began methodically walking down the rows, looking at the study tables as he passed. And then he saw her. Her back was to him, with her curls pulled into a haphazard ponytail, frizzed by brewing, and despite himself, he smiled. He remembered why he was there, and his smile faltered. He took a deep breath and walked to her table. He pulled out the chair and sat next to her, startling her.
"Severus!"
"Hello, Hermione," he said softly. He noticed that she did not look happy, and that her eyes were red.
Her eyes searched his and she shook her head. "Any other day, and I would be so happy to see you."
"I know, Hermione. I need to explain. Can we go somewhere to talk?"
Hermione waged an internal debate and then sighed. "All right, Severus."
She gathered her books into her bag and stood. Severus followed her out of the Library.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"To my dorm. Everything is about to close down for the night and I don't think we should have this discussion in public," she answered definitively.
He followed Hermione up three flights of stairs and down the hall as they came to her room. She released the wards on her room and they both entered.
She gestured for him to sit at the little kitchen table. She stood at the kitchen counter with her back to him and began to prepare tea. She took some milk down from a cabinet spelled to keep things cool. "Milk and sugar?"
Severus answered, "Just one sugar." She nodded, still turned away from him and finished making the tea. He pondered at the oddity of his current situation. He was in a former's student's dorm having tea. And she was a young woman. And they were friends. And then he sighed as he remembered that he was an idiot and had probably hurt her very badly. Would life ever be easy?
She set their tea down on the table. She wasted no time as she sat across from him and took his letter out of her robe's pocket. "Explain."
He fingered the small parchment on the table. He had only penned those words twenty-four hours ago, but the parchment looked years old. Had she been rubbing it all day long in her pocket? A weight settled in his stomach that his words could hurt her so badly.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said, finally looking at her eyes again. "You touched a part of my life that is still raw with pain. I actually thought that you were rubbing salt into a very old wound, but I know now that you weren't. I lashed out at you, and you didn't deserve my anger."
"I don't even know what I did," Hermione said, sadly.
"I know you don't." He paused, desperately trying to find a solution that didn't include laying himself bare for her to see, but could find none. "It was your words about if I had a son, that you would do the same for him that you're doing for Teddy Lupin."
Hermione's eyes were wide and he could see tears beginning to form. "I meant that, Severus."
"I know that now, Hermione. But at the time, all I could hear was a mocking voice reminding me that James and Lupin were able to have a family and that I never will. It's not rational, Hermione! I have no excuse except for my own inability to let go of a very deep-rooted hatred."
"They are dead, Severus," Hermione said, not unkindly.
"Yes. Decent men that hated me are dead. I, who have done countless evil things, am alive. I will never have a son of my own, yet I am tasked with taking care of their sons. It is a painful irony that started with Harry and now continues with Teddy."
Hermione put her hand onto Severus', still holding her parchment. "That's not how I see you." Her voice held no pity, and comforted Severus.
He nodded.
She withdrew her hand and they were quiet for a few moments. Hermione's eyes never left Severus'.
"Who told you?" Hermione asked levelly.
"What?" asked Severus, confused.
"This morning," she said, glancing at the parchment between them, "you were furious with me and deeply hurt by my attitude toward you. You are now sitting at my kitchen table. Forgive me for saying this, but I don't think you resolved this on your own."
Severus felt at once annoyed and amazed at how perceptive she was. "Thank Merlin you were on our side. If Voldemort was half as perceptive as you, I'd be long gone." He smirked at her, which earned him a small grin in return.
"It was Harry. We had a little chat. This is probably where I need to ask you not to hex either of us. I'll remind you that it's bad form to hex war heroes, if that would help," he joked.
She chuckled at him. "I will not hex you."
Severus laughed that she was still willing to hex Harry. "Fair enough."
Then he remembered his talk with Harry and immediately sobered. "Why didn't you tell me the truth about finding me alive?"
Hermione shook her head as she thought. She finally looked back at Severus. "All I could give you was peace if you finally awoke. You deserve so much more. Being in debt to yet another person would not have been peace. And if you even dare suggest that you are somehow indebted to me, I will hex you."
Severus looked at her seriously. "Thank you, Hermione."
"You're welcome, Severus." She smiled at him. "Now let that be the end of this discussion," she added levelly.
"There's something else. Harry had an interesting theory, and I'd like to know the truth. Did you know that I was still working for the Order, even when I killed Albus?"
"No," answered Hermione. "I didn't know for sure."
At this, Severus raised his eyebrow, encouraging her to expound.
"I knew you were on our side at the end of Fourth Year. Harry told us about you showing Fudge your Dark Mark, and about Albus asking if you were ready to do what he needed you to do, which was, presumably, to return to Voldemort. I decided then that no matter what it seemed, that I trusted you as implicitly as Albus. In my wildest dreams, I did not think that would mean you killing Albus. Merlin, I hate him for asking you to do that. I went back and forth a million times wondering if you were still on our side. Then, Ron returned in the Forest of Dean with the sword. It was Ron, really, that cemented my faith that you were on our side," and she smiled at Severus' look of bewilderment.
"Ron Weasley knew I was still working for the Order?"
"Oh no! Not a chance, I'm afraid," she laughed. "But he kept saying over and over, 'Someone's on our side. Someone's helping us.' It was then that I knew it was you. I couldn't talk to Harry about it; he hated you and Voldemort equally and would never have listened to my reasoning, so I kept it to myself. We've never spoken about this. How did Harry know that I knew?"
Severus smiled. "He mentioned that you looked rather pleased with yourself after viewing my memories and promptly left to attend me."
Hermione smiled. "Well, I was right!"
"You were the only one, Hermione." His words were laced with a combination of sadness and awe.
She sighed and thought for a moment. "I think that's because I wasn't close to Albus. I was saddened by his death, but not so grieved that I couldn't think rationally. I know Minerva was devastated. And most of the others didn't really need another reason to think ill of you. Was it infuriating that no one could discern the truth?"
"Yes and no. I knew how everyone would respond, from Moody to Voldemort. But there were a few that were particularly disappointing. I really did think that Minerva would eventually reason it out. But it was too important that I take control of the school to jeopardize the plan by letting more people know."
"Were you terribly alone?" Hermione asked in almost a whisper, as her eyes began to fill with tears again.
"Yes. But I have been alone for many years. When you're a double spy, no one is a true friend. No one can fully trust you." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Albus trusted me."
"You aren't a spy anymore, Severus. You can have friends now, and the life you want."
Severus nodded weakly. Feeling emotionally spent, he longed to return to safer ground.
"So," he asked dryly, "have you cured lycanthropy yet, or could you still use my help?"
She smirked at him. "I might be willing to take on an assistant. What are your credentials?" she joked.
"I routinely stock Madame Pomfrey's medicinal potions; I teach at a little school. I have been known to dabble in anti-venoms…." he deadpanned.
Hermione looked shocked. "It was anti-venom. You bastard. Why didn't you tell the healers when they asked, repeatedly, I might add?"
Severus smiled at her outrage and shrugged. "Did it matter?"
Hermione scowled at him. "Doubtful. They were idiots. I can't believe you did it. I wondered how you managed to survive." She paused. "Fine. I won't hex you for leaving out that little bit of information, and you're hired. But I'm not paying you!"
Severus laughed. "Lovely. I formally accept this illustrious position as your assistant, requiring hours of extra work and no pay with an irrational know-it-all," he said, dripping with sarcasm.
Hermione laughed.
Severus sobered once more. "Hermione, I don't know what your goals are for Teddy, but I must be honest with you. I do not think lycanthropy can be cured."
Hermione tried to interrupt, but he forestalled her with his hand.
"But, we will try our best. And I will not stop helping you until you decide we've done all that we can. I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high."
Hermione nodded. "Thank you, Severus."
Severus took a deep breath. "I need to go now. It's getting late. Minerva is expecting to see me at breakfast, at which time she will berate me mercilessly for hurting your feelings."
She smiled warmly at Severus. "Tell her that when you left, I was perfectly happy with you."
"I will. She won't believe me without Veratiserum, but I will tell her."
Severus and Hermione both stood up from the table. He noticed that Hermione was staring at him. Severus furrowed his brow in confusion. "What?"
"I'm sorry. You look very different than I remember," she answered levelly. "You look different than you did when I was a student, and you look quite a bit different than you did six months ago, which considering you were near death, is reasonable, I guess." Her words were not spoken in unkindness and she smiled at him gently.
Severus simply nodded. It was usually the first thing that people said to him when they saw him now and he was used to hearing it. He didn't feel like anything noticeable had changed, but he knew that he was healthier and less stressed than at any point in his life. He assumed that was the difference. The familiar weight of unease that he was rapidly beginning to associate with Hermione erupted when he realized that her positive comment made him happy.
As Hermione came around to his side of the table, he surreptitiously pocketed the piece of battered parchment and followed her to the door.
"How did you get here, by the way?"
"Minerva created a portkey for me," he answered, showing her the teacup.
Hermione examined the teacup, with its gilded gold rim and pink roses, and giggled. "She was really upset with you, wasn't she?"
Severus smirked at her and looked at the frilly teacup. He hadn't even noticed its ridiculous design when Minerva handed it to him. "Indeed, she was. Let's hope it takes me back to Hogwarts like it's supposed to and not to some Scottish moor."
Hermione laughed and handed the teacup back to him. "I'll walk you to the Apparition lobby. They'll check you out and you can portkey from there."
The walk down four flights of stairs did not take long at all, and they found themselves outside the door to the Apparition lobby. Severus once again found himself at a loss of how to handle this odd thing called, "friendship with Hermione." If this were the Malfoys, he would kiss Narcissa's cheek. That was out. If he were Harry, Hermione would hug him. That was probably out. A handshake seemed too stiff. It seemed awkward was unavoidable.
"Goodnight, Hermione."
"Goodnight, Severus."
They stood there for the prescribed awkward moment, and then Severus turned and opened the door to the lobby and went inside. He went straight to the receptionist without turning back to see if Hermione was still there. Once he had been checked out, he pulled the battered teacup from his pocket. A split second before he said, "Portus," he hazarded a glance at the door. She was gone. And before he knew it, he was being pulled into the blackness.
He arrived back at the gates of Hogwarts. He undid the wards and stepped inside, then reapplied the wards. Memories rushed past of apparating back to Hogwarts after being summoned away by Voldemort. He almost felt physically ill at the memories. He sat on the steps of Hogwarts for a while, and the memories slowly changed from Voldemort to Hermione. "Untimely born." That was what Minerva had said about Hermione. It hurt to think of what could have been if Hermione had been born twenty years earlier, or he twenty years later. Or, hell, even ten years either way would be fine. She was an amazing young woman who knew him, and liked him. She had a remarkable talent for bringing out the best in him. In everyone, really. Merlin, why did she have to be so young? Twenty years was an insurmountable age difference. These thoughts were not productive. Friend. He was Hermione's friend. And he was grateful for that friendship. He put his hand in his pocket and felt the careworn parchment that was his careless last letter to Hermione. He went back inside the castle and headed for his personal quarters. "Damn. Columbina's still at Hermione's," he muttered as he entered. He'd write the letter tonight and head up to the Owlery tomorrow.
Monday, 16 November 1998
Dear Hermione,
Please forgive the lateness of this reply to your last letter. I carelessly hurt a dear friend and had to take an unscheduled trip. She was gracious enough to forgive me.
Regarding Teddy Lupin, it would be my honor to help you in any way possible. The next full moon is December 3. I have a thought to teach my Seventh Years how to brew Wolfsbane. I will let them observe this first time. It is possible that they might be able to brew it by themselves by the end of the school year. It might free up some of my time in the future, and we can include them in our research. There are some brilliant minds in there; we should utilize them.
Hermione, I am quite concerned about you. You never answered my question about if you are sleeping at night. I would like to know why you can't sleep. I can probably help you.
Your friend,
Severus
On Tuesday morning after sending the letter with one of the school owls, he took his normal seat for breakfast at Minerva's right. She was true to her word. "What did you do to Hermione?"
"I will have you know that when I left her she was, and I quote, 'perfectly happy with me.'"
Minerva narrowed her eyes and was about to continue, but Severus forestalled her. "Minerva, I fixed it. I was an arse. She forgave me. I have something more important to talk to you about. Can we move along?"
"Fine. What is it?" asked Minerva.
"I want to start an optional Seventh Year project. Hermione and I will be working together to try and advance a cure for lycanthropy and I think it would benefit both them and the project if they were allowed to participate along with us."
Minerva was slightly taken aback. "Of course I'll allow that. It's an excellent project. I'll contact the Governors to see if it needs extra approval from parents, but I doubt it. You should be fine to start immediately."
"Thank you, Minerva."
"You and Hermione are wonderful together," she commented casually.
"There is no 'me and Hermione', Minerva," Severus replied strongly. "Whatever you are imagining, it will not happen. We are simply friends working together on a project."
"And why the hell not, Severus?"
"Do not meddle, Minerva."
"I'm not Albus! I will not meddle. But answer my question. Why not?"
"Why not? Not two years ago, she was a student. My student. She is twenty years younger. Shall I keep going?" Severus asked tartly.
"Yes. Because except for the age difference, I don't think you can name another reason," Minerva dared. Before he could interject, she continued, "I think the world of both of you. I told you months ago that you deserve her friendship, and she yours. I see something special between the two of you. I will not meddle. But from where I sit at age eighty with eighty years to go, twenty years is but a trifle."
Severus scowled. "I've got to go, Minerva. I have Second Years to torment."
Stewing, he went to his personal chambers to pick up his notes. "Damn Minerva," he muttered.
"Why do you think I spend so much time down here?" asked Phineas. "The woman drives me mad. What has she done now?"
"She's trying to convince me that Hermione and I are wonderful together. What utter rubbish. As if a woman twenty years younger could ever want me."
"Severus Snape, you are a Potions Master and former Headmaster of Hogwarts! And most importantly, you are a Slytherin. We don't ask, 'What does Hermione want?' We ask, 'What do you want?' And if Hermione is whom you want, go after her, man! Have you lost your senses?"
"Not you, too, Phineas," he muttered, walking out.
Wednesday, 18 November 1998
Dear Severus,
I was worried when you did not immediately reply, and was so pleased to receive your reply yesterday. I am happy that your friend was forgiving; it is nothing less than you deserve. She sounds like a very smart witch!
I am having nightmares. They wake me up at 4:00 a.m., almost like clockwork. I find it almost impossible to return to sleep. I would very much like your help. I need to be at my best to help Teddy.
Your plan to have the Seventh Years help is a great idea. It makes me jealous! I will be learning to brew it by myself.
What about your hormonal Sixth Years? This will not be solved this year. Would you include them?
Your friend,
Hermione
Sunday, 22 November 1998
Dear Hermione,
My friend is a very smart witch. She gave me some things to think about. I shall be sure to think about them "in my spare time".
Columbina is delivering to you, along with this letter, a shrunken copy of "Occlumency in Theory and Practice, 3rd Edition". It is my personal copy. I would normally include all manner of precautions and warnings and threats about treating my books properly, but this is you, so I assume I don't need to.
I don't imagine you will need to master the whole book to get the relief you need from nightmares, probably just the first five or so chapters. I will warn you that learning Occlumency via a book is not the easiest method, but it's the best we have right now. If you need me, I will come to Bristol to help, but I think you'll do fine by yourself.
I concede the wisdom of having the hormonal Sixth Years involved, but by Merlin, if they blow up my lab, they will be spending Seventh Year on a camping trip with Phineas. Of course that would lessen my teaching load next year and get Phineas out of my sitting room… It's sounding better all the time.
What are your nightmares about, Hermione?
Your friend,
Severus
Wednesday, 25 November 1998
Dear Severus,
Hmmm…. I'm curious. What did your friend say? What are your musings?
Thank you so much for the book. There was a picture tucked between two pages – did you know? I'll keep the picture safe, just as I'll keep your book safe. Who gave you this book, by the way?
I also appreciate the offer to come back to Bristol if I need you. As much as I enjoyed our visit, I hope it won't be necessary.
The second page of this letter contains my first research on what I think will be the first step to help Teddy. It may sound odd, but my first improvement will be to make it taste better. From my limited exposure to children, I recall that getting a child to willingly take medicine that tastes horrible is not easy. He may be taking this for months or years. This will also be the easiest improvement. I will be the lab rat in Bristol. I envy the number of lab rats you have available to you at Hogwarts. Five House points and my apologies if any of them vomit because of the new flavor. It's almost like working for Bertie Botts. Anyway, on paper, I have verified that none of these additions will change the potency, or blow up your lab.
This is exciting, isn't it? This is so invigorating!
Your friend,
Hermione
Sunday, 29 November 1998
Dear Hermione,
My friend mentioned that I can now have "the life I want". So my musings have been leaning toward what I want for my future. I think I shall have something small, but tangible, to show for my musings in a few weeks.
What picture did you find? Albus gave me the book, shortly after I became a spy. I already knew Occlumency, but this helped me hone my skills and then Albus tutored me to mastery equal to his own. I know Potter whined about his own lessons, but I guarantee, I was easier on him than Albus was on me. Actually, Albus and I had very similar motives. We both didn't quite like our student, and we were both trying to save our student's life in the long run. This was obviously quite early in my service to Dumbledore, and we didn't always get along.
I concur with your research that none of your proposed additives will change the potency. We will be testing those after the full moon, so you might be ahead of us by a week or so. My first Potions Club meeting is Tuesday night. We will meet Thursday nights, as well. What an absolutely ridiculous name for something so serious. It's like Muggles having a Brain Surgery Club. All of my Seventh Years and Sixth Years signed up for it, which surprised me. I will brew it and lecture on it on Tuesday; that batch will be sent to Mrs. Tonks. Then they will all do their first attempts in pairs on Thursday. Expect my exploded cauldron count to grow significantly. Be careful, by the way. I have exploded my own fair share of cauldrons making Wolfsbane over the years.
I agree that creating potions is very exciting and invigorating. It is nice to be unencumbered once again so that I can have new projects. Between wars, I was able to experiment and get some things published. I had to stop for half a dozen years and forgot how much I missed it.
Your friend,
Severus