Disclaimer; Nope I own none of the Naruto. Not one Naruto.

Chapter 4; Interviews

"So first of all, you both wish to retire am I correct?" Kakashi would easily admit he could see why Tsunade had handed down the Hokage mantel to him instead of continuing in the position until Naruto was ready. It was an exhausting task and one that left him surprisingly relieved he hadn't a family, it wasn't really a job that favoured free or personal time.

Still there were those days, when something bizarre or pleasantly peculiar happened that left him enjoying his position. Today was building to be one of those days. Or at least one that he would look back on and laugh.

"Ano that is correct H-hokage-sama." Hinata spoke up first, well only she spoke up really. Sasuke just glared and nodded. Since the village council had wanted the Uchiha off active duty for a while now, for him to stop fighting that and simply retire...Kakashi wanted to know what the catch was for something so convenient.

"Of course that's perfectly acceptable, I just have to ask you both some follow up questions." Kakashi returned vaguely. Normal protocol with ninja so young would be to route out the intent behind their retirement and find a compromise. They wanted to start a family? We can arrange a teaching position at the academy, never far from home. Emotional wear? Some time in counselling and a transfer to an administrate position. There were plenty of reasons people wished to retire early and plenty more ways to keep them part of the active system instead.

"W-well Sasuke and I, we're h-hoping to be married soon and a-a-active duty at that t-time can p-put u-undue stress on a r-r-relationship." It seemed to Kakashi a struggle of epic proportion for the shy Hyuuga to express herself. Not that Kakashi was surprised. This was Hinata Hyuuga admitting she didn't want to be out of humping distance after she got married. To Sasuke. How did that happen anyway?

"Well Hinata you should know we can easily transfer both of you to more central positions. I'm sure you'd be well received at the academy if you wished to begin teaching and I'm sure I can find something for Sasuke that won't involve him needing to travel." Kakashi actually didn't think he could find anything for his former student, after all he could count on one hand the number of people in the entire village willing to work with the Uchiha. He was sure he could hold onto Hinata though and undoubtedly Sasuke would wander into his office a couple of months down the line, bored and claiming to change his mind. Then he would demand a mission.

The pair shared a look wearing expressions Kakashi was sure he'd never actually seen either use. It was strange.

"N-no Hokage-sama. W-we are c-c-completely uninterested in that i-idea." Hinata answered smiling politely. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the unexpected response, he started to consider another route.

"Besides the money is shit." Sasuke spoke for the first time crossing his arms. His gentle fiancé blushed slightly, likely at the course rude language.

"Well of course, a teaching position would be slightly less than active duty," returned the Hatake wondering when Sasuke started to care about the money involved in a job. Kakashi didn't think he used it for anything more than rent, food and weapons anyway.

"Active duty too. In peace time there's no high paying work." snorted the Uchiha, though it was more surprising when the former Hyuuga chimed along with a vigorous nod of the head. He had definitely missed out on some important development with the rookies that would explain this strange bond between Hinata and Sasuke. Or their new found job prospects.

"You've got...better paying jobs?" Kakashi tried to reason it out loud feeling suddenly as if he were coming across as slow or dimwitted. That didn't come up a lot, in ninja villages being a ninja tended to be the most profitable line of work.

"Sasuke's m-music is really t-taking off n-now and Hebi h-has all agreed they s-s-should make it their f-full time o-occupation." answered Hinata with her usual stutter raising so many more questions than she'd actually answered.

"Sasuke's...music?" As word pairings went it was up there with Gai's cookies, Naruto's tarantula and Sakura's cigarettes. In short there were two words he understood perfectly well but once connected caused him a great deal of confusion. This was not helped when Hinata passed him a t-shirt with Karin Uzumaki on its front holding a Sasuke plushie and a list of future events.

"You made another t-shirt?" Kakashi heard Sasuke ask his companion as he tried to add up the apparent fact that Sasuke Uchiha was retiring as a ninja to become a musician...and it paid better.

"One of sixteen." The current Hokage failed to note the way Hinata replied fluidly and with a rather sly smile. Finally Kakashi shook himself out of it, strange as it was it may not have been a bad thing. The kid always could have used another interest.

"And what do you intend to do Hinata?" asked the Hokage setting aside the confusing article of clothing. The woman across the table from him seemed to glow brightly at the question and the Hatake braced himself for another strange answer.

He wasn't altogether sure he wasn't the but of some elaborate practical joke.

"I'm going to write. T-there's a n-novel in me d-dying to get out." as she spoke Kakashi was sure Sasuke muttered something under his breath but couldn't make it out. Still Kakashi was relieved. That was an answer that wasn't at least completely crazy.

"How exciting. I'll have to read it once it's finished, I'm sure I'll love it." offered the silver haired man. Before today he would have expected the woman to write some sweet sugary romance but given her choice of husband he wasn't so sure. She could always write 'How to marry Sasuke Uchiha for idiots', at least Sakura would read that one.

"You would like it." shot Sasuke with an eye roll and while the words were perfectly cordial...Kakashi suspected there was some hidden cruel meaning.

"O-kay. Anyway the main reason you're here today is your apparent marriage. I'm sure by now you must be aware that the current Hyuuga head, your father, is contesting the engagement." Vehemently Kakashi wanted to add. Contesting the marriage was rather an understatement when the man was also calling for both of their executions or a bare minimum of Hinata receiving the caged bird seal and both being exiled from the land of fire under threat of stoning should they return.

Hinata looked stricken and pained. Sasuke looked bored, not stoic hiding his ire bored but rather how much longer until that kettle boils bored.

"I-I, I f-fear my f-father is u-unwell. M-mentally." admitted the pending disownment Hyuuga looking away from his face as she did.

There wasn't exactly a bad argument to be made for that either, if it were just the Hyuuga head protesting his daughter marrying Sasuke Uchiha that would have made perfect sense. It was his other accusations that caused him to pause. That Hinata had plans to form some kind of sex cult out of the Hyuuga clan only being the beginning of it. He'd even suggested consulting some religious representatives to have his daughter checked for demons and exorcised. He wanted a host of clergy men, not just anyone or a person in particular but a board made up of a representative from every religion. Just to be sure.

"You're not going to give in to the ravings of a madman are you Hatake?" The Uchiha was being somewhat disrespectful but Kakashi didn't mind. Today had been interesting and besides there was still plenty more fun to be had.

"Of course not, the first step will be a private consultation with mediators and if that fails to give results then there'll be a public trail unfortunately. The Hyuuga head has the right to call a public hearing as a seated council member." He hoped it wouldn't come to the trail if only for the shy Hinata's sake but he would enjoy the mediation.

A cracked Hiashi Hyuuga and Sasuke Uchiha had some serious potential to be amusing...though he'd better make sure there was enough man power there to stop either one from killing the other. And he'd need to see about getting a nicer t-shirt at one of these shows of Sasuke.

"That or you could challenge Hiashi to single combat." he joked a little unsure when the pair of opal eyes and coal black ones blinked and shifted to stare at one another in a silent conversation.

They made a cute couple Kakashi had to admit...so long as one ignored the worrying subtext that spoke of insanity.

Sasuke couldn't decide which was the better question. 'What was all this bizarre equipment set up at the dinning table' or 'was there a plate of that delicious smelling food for me too'. A few moments later he returned from the kitchen his lunch in hand and asked about the equipment the Hyuuga had set up.

"Well this is the camera and this is the monitor for displaying the footage." answered Hinata. It sort of circumvented what the Uchiha had meant though with the question. He knew what the equipment was and did, it might have been rare stuff but he wasn't an idiot.

Rather he was concerned at the perverted woman possessing such things.

"I mean what have you been using them for?" he tried again through gritted teeth. Hinata offered him a slightly wicked smile he was sure was intended to unnerve him more.

"Well I do have plans for some naughty home movies but for the moment I've just been conducting interviews." her sly smile was still in place and that concerned the Uchiha, or it excited him. He wasn't quiet sure, that line was getting real blurry.

"Interviews?" he asked uneasily. With Hinata that could mean literally anything...though with Hinata any word could mean just about anything...it was mostly in how she phrased it.

"In disguise. To see how people are reacting to our news. Do you remember that Jutsu that gave me away?" she answered clicking away for a few moments, her grin turned more feral for a moment. There was a dangerous feeling emanating from the woman now.

"I recall it." he knew how to preform it too and was getting distinctly worried Hinata could too.

"I came up with a modified version, less absolute and more just very suggestive. It's more like a truth serum." she explained with a shrug and then a bright grin. A glance at the screen told the Uchiha whatever recordings Hinata had taken were now loaded.

"Would you like to see?"

"My name, in full? Sakura Haruno, nice to meet you." spoke the pink haired girl seemingly answering some out of sight questioner. She seemed slightly bashful but excited her green eyes a little unfocused.

"I...I don't quite believe it. I don't think they're a real couple, there's something else at work." answered the pink haired girl folding her arms and frowning. She tutted a bit more as she listened to the next question.

"Share? Like alternating time shares or something? I guess that would be better than nothing but...yeah I guess I would, if that was the only way." muttered Sakura seeming dejected at the thought, she kicked at an imaginary pebble. Once the next question came Sakura was left blinking.

"So share like...um I don't think Hinata would go for something so..." the girl trailed off blushing just slightly. It only got worse as the questioner moved onto another inquiry. The pink haired ninja's hands had dropped to her side fists clinched tight as she fidgeted.

"I might have thought of it once or twice. I mean with Sasuke doing...you know that and a girl like Hinata doing...um the other part. Who wouldn't enjoy it really?" the ninja was blushing furiously now and refused to look at the camera. If the next question embarrassed her more it was impossible to tell as little changed about her blush and pout.

"I-I would return the favour. It's...it's a matter of manners." the camera gave a slow pan over the Haruno's form lingering on her hips as a last question was asked.

"A fantasy? I guess I'd like him to sort of...take me you know. But there'd need to be a desperation to it, a panic. Like we're caught in a snow storm and we need the body heat to survive except he finally notices me so yeah...I could draw a picture maybe, I might draw a few." answered the Haruno trailing off in her fantasy.

"Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage at your service!" exclaimed the blonde loudly flashing the recorder a grin and a thumbs up.

"Ah Sasuke and Hinata, I guess weirder things have happened. Though I don't know what they must talk about. Maybe they just have sex all day! That's even less likely I think." Laughed the Uzumaki clearly bewildered at the idea of two introverted people in a relationship. As the next question came though he quieted suddenly and paled a little.

"No, no. It's not like I sit around and think about Sasuke and Hinata banging all the time. Maybe the thought has crossed my mind before...briefly...very briefly." argued back Naruto hoping to express his innocence.

"Jealous, a little I guess." returned the Uzumaki shrugging.

"What, I didn't mean I'm jealous he got Hinata!" exclaimed the blonde indignant. Then came the next question in response and Naruto paled for a second time.

"No that doesn't mean I'm jealous of Hinata for getting Sasuke either. I'm jealous they're getting married first that's all." Naruto was openly glaring at the camera now.

"No...no...nothing like that's ever happened between team seven. I mean yeah we've shared tents but one thing's never 'led to another'...well I mean except, but that was a special circumstance and we were under Genjutsu." answered Naruto fidgety and extremely nervous.

"Yeah, erm Sakura would be in the middle. But why do you really think she'd take it...you know...like that though...from behind?" the blonde was blushing darkly but it was hard to miss his excitement at the idea of doing it 'like that' to his pink toned team-mate.

"What is swinging exactly?" questioned the blonde back unsure.

"What! No! If Sakura and I were married I wouldn't be swapping her." spat out Naruto folding his arms and frowning at the thought.

"A kind of royal rumble thing, all singles involved...ya that could be interesting...very interesting." the Uzumaki seemed to be trailing away at the potential for such a thing. He heard the next question though.

"She could make a cute maid I think. He'd be a fireman though, you know kind of like a pun." offered Naruto brightly.

"Kiba Inuzuka, what do you want?" asked the gruff brunette glaring at the camera and sniffing at the air suspiciously. His pet and partner was no where in sight.

"I don't like that bastard, not one bit. He's probably using those freak eyes to manipulate her and once I get my hands on him I'll tear him a new one." returned the dog man snarling around his words.

"No I don't think saying things like that is shipping bait." he returned rather upset at the implications. Then the next question came.

"Probably a power bottom...hypothetically." there seemed to be a lag were the answer he gave registered with himself.

"Eh you could say I loved her like a sister...a sister I wanted to have sex with."

"Karin Uzumaki...Uchiha, it will be someday anyway." spoke the redhead before shrugging, her name giving her no more concern.

"Its a scam. It's got to be. My competition is that medic with the bubble butt not some balloon tits virgin type. Sasuke likes women with backbone and passion." growled the woman cocking her hip and seemingly daring the camera to argue with her.

"Hmm that would depend on who they were. Some sexy stranger for us both to enjoy." there was a distinctly cat like smile on the Uzumaki girl's lips as her eyes wandered a bit.

"Whichever got Sasuke more excited. I could roll with a man or a woman, they're just icing on my Uchiha cake." grinned Karin swaying her hips idly in a flirty manner as another question was asked of her.

"Well maybe not anyone, Haruno and I would just end up fighting too much. Sasuke would have to tie us down...though now that's an idea." mused the redhead perking up just slightly. She threw a cute smile toward the camera.

"The Hyuuga? I guess that would be a little fun. She's such an innocent little thing, Sasuke and I could make her our little plaything. I like playing warden you know." answered the Uzumaki eyes twinkling darkly in her thoughts.

"A fantasy? I suppose I could tell you about one..." Karin was smirking when the footage cut out and returned a second later slightly different. It had seemingly skipped along to another question.

"W-what do you mean that was epically perverted even by your standards!?" the redhead wailed at the camera.

"You lost some footage on Karin?" the Uchiha asked suspiciously. Hinata had giggled through all four videos and there were still a lot left unwatched on her list.

"Edited. I wanted to keep it a secret, not to spoil anything." answered the pale eyed girl with a Cheshire cat grin. Evil perverted woman...why was Sasuke starting to feel like that was becoming his personal mantra.

"She managed to impress even a pervert like you. I'm impressed." he wasn't. If anything Sasuke was absolutely terrified, Karin giving Hinata dirty ideas sounded like the start to a very dangerous period of his life.

"That woman has vision Sasuke, such a naughty vision I'd love to make a reality." the words unnerved him, but more than than was the cloudy veiling of her eyes. Hinata was outright enthralled by whatever Karin had shared with her.

"How come I can't hear you asking the questions though?" he asked because there were a few Sasuke was curious about, just what had Hinata been asking to get some of those answers. Obviously her first had been for a name and then their opinion on his and Hinata's relationship...afterwords the questions got harder to figure out exactly.

"Also edited out, I thought it would be more fun like this." answered Hinata winking happily at her companion...that wasn't even counting the other questions she'd asked on the full movies instead of these edited versions she had prepared for Sasuke.

How sad would Sasuke be if he knew Sakura had some major S&M fantasies regarding him, a riding crop and melting candles. Or that she was learning the shadow clone technique for another little fantasy. Or that she wanted to have sex with him somewhere public, in particular sweaty passionate love making in a certain blonde woman's family flower shop.

Or that Naruto was to this day disappointed that the Uchiha had never copied his sexy jutsu and challenged him to mud wrestling...or fooling around a bit while they were both unearthly perfect women, nothing serious just hands and tongue stuff no toys or one of them turning back and making it complicated.

She'd probably never share any of the fantasies Kiba had harboured...they went dark places...trying to put her in a dog collar dark. And she probably didn't need to tell him Karin was a sadomasochist, he might have actually already caught on to that though. He probably didn't know that she wanted them to rule over a harem together though.

"Hyuuga...you've been zoned out for quite a while now." came Sasuke's voice calling her back to the present.

"I've just been thinking. I did some laundry but I'm not sure." Hinata began to speak moving to collect her clean but soaking clothes. She held a pair of skimpy underwear and an impressive bra aloft for the Uchiha to examine.

"Where can I hang these up? Because as fun as it might sound I can't walk around all day with soaking panties." As she spoke she flicked her unmentionables towards the man quite happy at his apparent duress. And the bulging in his pants he was so desperately trying to shift out of view.

Hinata was getting closer, soon one of her nightly offers wouldn't be rejected. Soon he would be begging her for them.

I literally can not seem to stop writing chapters for this. It's becoming worrying. I haven't even slept since starting that last chapter and finishing this one, the power of insomnia driven creativity I guess. Don't think I gave Kiba a fair amount of screen time though, couldn't think of any more dark secrets for him than him wanting to put Hinata in a dog collar.

Any questions you would have had Hinata ask her interviewees? What answers would they have given do you think?

Hope you all enjoy.

R&R