Wolverine and Company ch 4
Author's Note: Still not exactly getting the reviews I was hoping for but I guess you guys are reading so that's all that matters. Anyway as always reviews are always welcome (and needed) for inspiration so don't be shy to click that purple button at the end!
Oh and by the way, no Vanessa isn't X-23 as I remember someone asked and a lot of you might be wondering. Just a character I made up. Enjoy!
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Vanessa's POV
"So let me get this straight" Jean began, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Yes?" I asked her and I puffed my cheeks with air and swung my feet back and forth innocently on the examining table.
She seemed a little stressed and to be honest I don't know what the hell for; it wasn't like she should be the one stressed out here, I was on the examining table wasn't I? But I didn't admit to any of this, I sort of just shrugged it off and went with the flow; I was clueless to this pregnancy thing
And apparently it was this huge extravaganza that a mutant like myself was pregnant in the first place for everyone was gathered in the lab for the results of the tests Jean and Hank ran; everyone sans Logan; he hasn't been around seen since I told him I was pregnant. Bastard.
"You're pregnant?" she asked and I shrugged.
"I guess so"
"With Logan's baby?" Scott threw in and I glared at him. What a little dick.
"Don't rub it in, would ya?"
"And this happened three weeks ago?" Jean pressed on.
"A month to be exact" I corrected, placing a hand on my still very tiny, still very flat stomach. It's been a week since that fateful day last week when I told Logan I was pregnant. Funny how things operate around this school; everyone seemed to think I was kidding about the whole pregnancy thing (minus Logan who disappeared the following day). They went about their business, day by day, acting like nothing happened and my claim was nothing more than a tactic to get Logan off my back.
That is however, until I asked Jean for help.
Then the next thing I know I'm dragged to the med lab, strapped down and tested on like a lab rat; strange.
"A month?" she asked and looked at the charts Hank had in his hand.
"Yeah" I said, and I dangled my feet some more; this was pretty fun if you were bored enough. "Logan and I slept together—" Scott interrupted me with a gag and I angrily threw him the finger. He chuckled before I continued. "Anyway, Logan and I slept together about a month and change ago and well, when I went to the doctor the other day, he said I was a solid month in"
"You went to a Dr?" Hank asked me and I nodded again.
"Yeah, I figured if I was carrying this thing I had to see one eventually but I'm not to sure he liked me too much."
"What would make you say that?" Storm asked and I turned to look at her.
"Because I'm a mutant"
Her eyes seemed to go wide-eyed. If there was one other person in this mansion who was strongly pro-mutant choice, other than the professor, it was her. "He discriminated against you?" she asked and I shook my head no.
"Nah, nothing like that. Let's just say there was a little….well…..incident with the sonogram machine and my claws and well…..yeah………he kind of looked at me funny after that. That's why I came to Jean for help."
Jean shook her head as well; she seemed to be just as confused about this as I was in the beginning. Lucky for me, I've kind of gotten over the fact that there was a bun in the oven by now. The fact that Logan disappeared made it all the more easier for me to deal without him nagging me all the time.
Aside from the vomiting, the flushed face and the urge to find out his opinion on all this (although I thought I already knew by now), being pregnant…..well…..wasn't all that bad.
Or maybe I was just ignorant.
"Well Hank and I reviewed all you're tests Vanessa" she began. Oh good she was getting back to doctor lingo. "And everything seems to be running smoothly." She said. "Mutation and all; your vitals are fine"
"Seems to be?" I asked. Seems to be didn't sound good. I wanted it etched in stone.
"These things are never definite Vanessa, you have to remember that" Hank said and I frowned. "There are still many things about you're mutation and the incorporation of adamantium in your skeleton that Jean and I are uncertain about." He explained.
I raised an eyebrow. Why oh why must you use such vocabulary Hank; why?
"He's just saying that we don't know about much about your gifts Vanessa; it's unique" Jean explained and I inwardly glared.
I know what he's saying; I just hated his terminology. Way to go on making me look like an idiot.
"And that plus the fact that you're expecting now, could make things difficult in the long run; we're not sure." She added.
"This sounds like one of those things were I have to be monitored closely?" I concluded. Damn this was getting stressful; I need a cigarette. "Am I right?" Finding my purse on the side of the examining table, I snatched it and dug around for a cigarette while Jean talked.
"Well I can reference you to my own doctor for your pregnancy; Hank nor myself are certified in Obstetrics so we can't help you there but my doctor would be wonderful with helping you, and if you inform her, she'll be glad to work around your well….gifts." she said.
I continued my search. Dammit, where the hell was this cigarette. "Wait so you're a doctor and you have a doctor?" I asked and her eyes drew flat.
"That's beside the point Vanessa." She said. Ah Eureka! I found you! "She's really great at understanding and working around mutations and I'm sure if I were to have a talk with her she would conclude as well that yes, this type of situation does need monitoring—hey! Are you insane!!"
I didn't know what happened after that. One minute I'm listening to Jean ramble about medical mumbo-jumbo and pulling out a cigarette, and the next she's yanking the darn thing from my lips and tossing it in the trash.
"Hey!" I cried and she glared at me.
"Vanessa! Are you crazy! You can't smoke!"
"Well why the hell not, I've been doing it as long as I can remember" And so what if I can only remember 4 years back, that's still a pretty damn long time.
"Well for one there's a no smoking sign" Scott tossed in and I glared.
"Shut-up" I snapped and he chuckled again. I was gonna' get that little punk, one way or another.
"Vanessa!" Jean began again. "You're pregnant" she said, eyes darted directly at my belly.
She made me feel fat when she did that. "Yeah, so"
"So! So you can't smoke when you're pregnant, it'll hurt the baby."
Ah shit, I forgot about that. I guess I shouldn't drink either huh? Dammit how the hell am I supposed to give that up for nine months? "But I have a healing factor" I responded. Yeah so, it was a bullshit answer, but it was the truth. If I wasn't harmed by booze and smokes because it was filtered so quickly, wouldn't it have no effect on the baby? "If it doesn't hurt me than why should it hurt, it?"
"Vanessa we're not that positive about all the innings and outings of your mutation, more or less how it works with your pregnancy" Hank repeated. "It's not a definite that alcohol and nicotine won't harm the embryo."
Ew, embryo; that was a pretty disgusting word; sounds like a baby chicken egg.
Regardless I sighed hard, slouching over on the med table and placing my chin in my palm.
All right so maybe I was putting up a front; this pregnancy thing was no joke; I didn't know what to do.
I was pregnant with Logan's baby; that in itself was grounds for a heart attack but on top of that Logan and I weren't dating, weren't married, we hated each other, we argued, it was obvious he didn't want anything to do with this pregnancy and even if he did there was no way I could bring a baby into this world with the relationship we have with each other.
I've seen my fair share of messed up kids while living here in the mansion and there was no way in hell, I'd willingly put a child through some of the things these kids have been through; a child doesn't deserve that.
So what was I to do?
I could raise it by myself but I could hardly make a descent human being alone, more or less with a child by my side. I swore like a sailor, I snapped frequently at others, I didn't know how to change diapers or breast feed or even hold a baby, how could I have my own?
There was always abortion but I was against killing innocent people…….well children anyway. Innocent henchmen of the brotherhood, you had it coming, but unborn babies, it just seemed like the wrong thing to do; they never had a chance to make it in the world.
Then there was adoption but I couldn't do that either. What if the kid was a mutant like I was? Or what if he was a bad seed like Logan and myself? I wasn't going to leave it in the care of someone else nor was I going to put him or her subject to discrimination or violence should it ever become a mutant; or even put it subject to walking around, day by day and not knowing who it was or where it came from; I already knew what that felt like. Plus I didn't think I could handle having the darn thing and seeing it's adorable face for 20 minutes, then passing it off to some waiting couple like vultures on a dying carcass; it'd be to hard. All admit as much as I hate kids, they were just so darn cute when they were babies.
So what was I supposed to do? How am I going to raise this baby?
I didn't even realize that a lone tear had squeezed out of my eye and slid down my cheek until I heard the professor's voice snapping me out of my thoughts (or rather invading my thoughts; who knows with that man).
"Vanessa?" I looked up to see him sitting in front of me, arm extended with a hankie ready and waiting in his hand. I smiled softly and graciously took it, dabbing my eyes. "It's going to be alright Vanessa; we're all here for you."
Curse my emotions for making me cry; I hope it wasn't one of these hormone things I hear about all the time. This group hasn't seen me cry since the day I got here and I didn't know who or what the hell I was. Now after going 4 years strong without letting them see me shed a tear, this damn condition makes me sprout tears like a sprinkler.
"I'm sorry professor, I didn't mean to—"
"It's alright" he soothed, rubbing a reassuring arm on my shoulder. "I understand how you're feeling Vanessa, you don't have to apologize for it and it's ok, we're all here to help."
"But it's not your responsibility" I sniffled. And it wasn't. I was the one who fell subject to Logan's stupid lust and slept with him (without protection if you're not on the same page already); no one else was responsible for this but me. "I was the one who did it so now I have to pay the consequences."
"Vanessa" the professor began, soul searching in my eyes again, which meant that his words to come were solid gold. Man there was a reason he was my favorite person to be around in this dump; there was nothing better than someone out there giving a damn about you. "There are times in life when a person is completely lost and alone, and has no one to turn to for help. I've dedicated my life, to helping people in those situations and yours is no different. We're all here if you need us; don't try and ignore it."
I gave him a small smile. "Thanks professor" God would these tears leave me alone! "But that still doesn't change that Logan—"
I didn't want to go any further.
God the nerve of that man! How could he? How could he just up and leave like nothing happened! How dare he abandon me when I needed him most! Yes, needed him!
I hated the guy with all my guts; even more so now that I was carrying his child and he was nowhere to be found but I needed him! I couldn't do this by myself! I can't raise a child alone and when I'm supposed to depend on the man who got me in this condition in the first place, he just leaves! What an asshole, what a jerk, what a stupid, moronic, wimpy, ugly son of a bitch.
I swear one day I'm going to dance on that man's grave without a care in the world. And when he does eventually die (more sooner than later I hope), I hope he rots in the fiery, burning, pits of hell and suffers for all eternity.
I hate Logan!
The thought of what he did to me was switching my mood from upset and worried to angry and fuming, and the professor placed another gentle hand on my shoulder to calm me down.
"Vanessa" he said serenely. "Vanessa it's alright."
Another tear slid down my cheek. "No, it's not alright professor, it isn't! How could he do this to me you know? How could he just leave when I told him I was pregnant, with his child no less! How could be so inconsiderate that he just takes off when I was—"
"Vanessa it's alright, Logan is upstairs."
I stopped my ranting and paused.
What?
Wait I'm sorry, Logan is where? Where have you been for the passes 7 days Chuck? Logan is gone! He grabbed his cigars and booze and left last week. What the hell would he be doing upstairs?
"He came back Vanessa" he silenced all my questions without a word falling from my mouth. "I can hear his engine roaring in the garage."
What are you talking about? I don't hear any—oh no wait, now that you mention it, that is definitely the Harley.
Well, well, well, would you look at that, the little prick came back after all (Take notice of the sudden mood change, once again).
Oh, ho, ho, if he thought he was in the clearing he was sadly mistaken; I'd make sure I'd give him an earful.
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I'd left the med lab as soon as the professor informed me of Logan's arrival and angrily stalked upstairs to the main floor. Making sure to pass by the garage once I was there, I wanted to ensure Logan got his proper greeting and just as I suspected, the other's followed (slowly but surely) to hear all the juicy gossip (bastards).
He was taking longer than usual to get himself gathered to come inside and I lingered outside the garage for a while, anger still fuming in my body.
Oh he was gonna get it. He was definitely gonna' get it.
Leaving me once I told him I was pregnant; what an ass. How dare he sit there and think even for one second that this baby wasn't significant enough for him to be around for. And so what if he came back; he still left initially; he still had it meddled in his mind he you didn't need to be here. Knowing Logan, the jerk probably just stumbled back in for a food refill and was planning to take off again.
But with that in mind, knowing myself, I was positive to make sure he left with a little something more.
I continued to linger outside the garage and the jerk was taking way to long to come inside. It was as if he knew I was standing out there and was about to bitch at him.
"C'mon Logan" I thought to myself. "Bring your little wimpy ass out here so I can give it to ya'"
But still nothing.
I could hear him in there, shuffling around, and I could smell his biker/alcohol/cigar aroma pouring through the cracks of the door, but still he wouldn't come out.
I crossed my arms over my torso and pouted.
"Fine" I thought. "If you're not coming out, I guess I'll just have to come in—"
I reached for the knob to turn it, only to find that someone beat me to it, that someone being Logan who furiously swung the door open and stood stunned when he saw me on the other side.
We both stood there for a moment, both of us motionless and surprised at seeing one another face to face, but the shock quickly faded and turned into anger and therefore another stare down was emitted from the both of us.
He puffed hard at the cigar he was balancing between his lips and I got a waft of the sweet smell of the tobacco. Dear Jesus Christ how I wanted one so bad.
Ah! Focus, Vanessa, focus! You're mad at him remember, angry.
"We need to talk" we both said simultaneously and glared harder from that too. All right so maybe that was one thing Logan was right about; that needed to stop.
"C'mon" he said gruffly, smoke pouring out his cigar when it left his lips.
I wanted desperately to shove him out the way and bask in the after puff of his smoke but instead I found myself being grabbed by the man in question and hauled off upstairs and towards his room without question.
Damn it, he was strong.
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It was hard to concentrate on being angry at Logan when he came back in the manor he did, looking drop dead gorgeous in his rough neck, rugged, biker bad boy swagger, and puffing sexily and furiously at that cigar of his.
His face was dead serious and pensive, and fit ever so perfectly on the 5 o'clock shadow he was dawning. I tell you, Logan never looked sexier until he was serious; it was just too bad I was angry at him.
He hauled me into his room and shut the door hard (probably signaling he meant business and didn't want any eavesdroppers) before turning to look at me and puff at his cigar again.
I stared at him. I wonder how close I had to get to him to inhale second hand smoke with the same feel of smoking a cigar.
Ah! Stay focused Vanessa, stay focused! Anger remember? Anger!
"So you're really pregnant huh?" he asked me, and puffed harder at the cigar; it was drawing to a close and I knew he'd get a new one.
Damn that sure was sexy though.
Ah, wait what? What did he ask me? Oh yeah, of course I was pregnant dill hole, you thought I was joking?
"Yeah" was all I found myself saying, to distracted by his rugged sex appeal, and that cigar of his. I could already tell this pregnancy thing wasn't going to work out. How was I going to contain myself for 9 months from booze, smoke, and sex? Oh God, I think I'm going to die.
Meanwhile Logan sighed hard once these words left my lips and threw his nap sack on his bed before swinging open the doors to the balcony. He stepped outside and plopped on his favorite balcony chair (though I don't know why it's his favorite; looks like a piece of junk), and crushed his cigar out in the ashtray on the railing. He dug for a fresh cigar in his jacket and lit it up quickly.
I watched him again, and nervously followed him, wondering where the hell my anger went, as I was suddenly afraid to talk to him.
He looked mad; no scratch that he looked pissed.
Forget that it takes two to tango, Logan looked like his lungs were about to drop out his ass and his eyebrows were furrowed so close together they were about to morph into a unibrow.
I suddenly began to forget the anger of him leaving me behind and felt bad for him. Must have been just as scary finding out you were going to be a father, as it was finding out you were going to be a mother. And I was just spazzing out 5 minutes before he came so I knew what it felt like.
"Logan" I leaned on the door frame behind him and sighed, cautiously awaiting an answer. If he was angry enough he just might decide to eject his claws and fish out the baby himself.
He didn't answer me however, and only puffed again and again at that cigar of his and stared off of the balcony.
I sighed again. "Logan" I repeated but still he didn't answer.
This conversation was not going as planned at all. There was supposed to be a lot of yelling, cowering (on his part), begging for forgiveness (again on his part), and figuring out what to do. But he was as silent as a church mouse and it worried me; made me think he hated me (even more so than he did before) for having this happen.
"Logan I—"
"What are we gonna' do Vanessa?"
His question beat mine before I could get half of it off my lips and I sighed again, this time, walking on the balcony and taking the opposing seat in front of him.
Nice work there bub, but you beat me there; I was just about to ask you the same question.
Instead of telling him this, I nervously ran a hand through my hair. "I don't know" I confessed and pulled my feel up to my chin. "What do you want to do?"
He sighed again and puffed hard at his cigar.
"That's not my choice to make now is it?" he asked.
I could tell he was furious with me; he failed to look me in the eye. Funny how the tables have turned haven't they? First we were livid with each other, then I to him, now him to me. I could only wonder what I did to upset him; I was worried about his baby too.
"Well I don't know but I'd like to get your opinion" I confessed and toyed nervously with the ends of my hair. "Adoption?"
He seemed to scrunch up his face in rebuttal and puffed again at his cigar. "We can't do that to the kid Vanessa, it'd be hypocritical. Here we are in a school fill of kids who'd kill to have parents that care about them and we're sending our kid off into an orphanage? I wouldn't be able to stomach it."
Well, well, well, the man had some guilt after all. And here I thought that all this time he didn't have a heart at all; I had to give him some credit. But it would all be taken away if he agreed to the second choice.
"Well what about abortion?"
Now he looked me dead in the eye.
It was a scary look. The look he generally gives enemies after they said something insensitive about his past and he was about to stab them through the chest.
The look intimidated me a little but he stopped after a few moments and stared off his balcony again.
"Look Vanessa" he began, and blew a long exhale of smoke from his lips. "I understand that the law says that the decision of a baby's future is completely up to the mother and everything but understand," he inhaled and exhaled again. "If you terminate our baby, I will literally never speak to you again; and that's a promise."
All right so his response was a threat really but I couldn't help but get a little giddy inside over two things. One: he called the baby, our baby. As much as that disgusted me that it was half his baby, it just reinforced fact number two I was giddy about: Logan would make out to be a protective father. There in lies, I conclude most likely he'd be a good one. It made me worry a little less; even though I had no clue to be a mother.
But I only sighed as a response, resting my chin on my knees. "I'm not thinking of either of those things Logan." I told him, and he looked me in the eye again. "I'm anti-abortion and I couldn't stomach giving the kid away either; not after all I've been through and I've seen kids go through here."
His blink seemed to signal off approval and his tensed posture relaxed a bit, before he inhaled and exhaled again. "So I guess there's nothing left to do other than raise the kid ourselves" he sighed and I followed suit.
"That's impossible" I countered and he looked at me again.
"Why?"
"Because we hate each other." I looked down at the floor now and I could feel his eyes burning on me. Oh dear God please stop that; why was this conversation so darn apprehensive!
"Vanessa I don't hate you" he finally confessed after about 3 minutes of solid staring. I looked up to stare at him again; his hazel eyes were looking directly into mine.
"Really?" I asked with a snort and he shrugged.
"Really" he confirmed. "I don't hate anyone; that's a bit to harsh of a word."
"Not even William Striker?"
Oh, definitely touched a sore spot on that one. He tensed up a bit at the name before continuing on in the conversation. "You're getting off subject Vanessa, that's besides the point." It so was not beside the point; I hated him, and I know you did too. "The point is I don't hate you" he continued, exhaling another cloud of smoke. "You just bother the shit out of me."
Now I glared. Well way to go on rising hope a little bit and then squashing it; asshole. I resisted the urge to kick him in the knee.
"Well hate each other or not Logan, we don't like each other and I don't see how we can manage to raise a baby like that."
"Scooter and I hate each other and we watch over the kids just fine in the mansion."
"Raising a baby and housing some mutant kids are two different things Logan. I mean if I'm going to have this baby, I want it to grow up well…."
"Normal?" he finished for me.
I sighed before nodding. "Yes, normal. And that includes a mother and a father; working together, to make him that way. You left as soon as I told you I was pregnant, I'm not exactly sure at this point that you'd be a loyal father, more or less cooperate with me."
Logan sighed again, and squashed out his cigar (I died a bit inside when he did it too, it wasn't even finished), before sitting forward and looking me dead in the eye again. His look was as serious as a heart attack and showed general concern this time instead of anger and confusion.
"Look Vanessa, whether we like it or not, this kid is gonna be far from normal. We're both surgically altered mutants, we live in a mutant boarding school and we're surrounded by mutants like us, with damaged pasts. Being abnormal is inevitable"
I pouted. That didn't make me feel any better.
"But as far as out relationship with each other is concerned, when I comes to kids, I don't mess around alright. I might of left when you told me you were knocked up but it's only because I had some thinking to do. Believe me when I say, I'm capable of being a loyal father. I love Rogue like a daughter and she's just the tip of the ice burg. Having a kid of my own is one hundred percent dedication and I understand that, and I'm willing to man up and accept the responsibility. Even if it means getting along with sworn enemies; one of which just happens to be the mother of my child."
I didn't know how I was supposed to react after his little speech. Was I supposed to be relieved he was manning up to the challenge? Or maybe angry that he still thought of me as his sworn enemy? But what did I care anyway? I hated him too.
Didn't I?
I wasn't sure about anything these days anymore. First I was angry at him for knocking me up and leaving me stranded, then confused when we have this little talk of ours and now here he is being all…noble. It was hard to hate people when they acted that way.
"Vanessa"
He snapped me out of my thoughts and I zoomed back into reality to stare at him, scrutinizing his look of concern before he addressed me again.
"Are you alright? You look like you're gonna up chuck again?"
Well I wasn't going to upchuck again but now that you mention it, I could use a toilet.
I sighed.
"Logan?"
"Hmm?" he asked, once he was over the whole vomiting thing. I guess my appearance changed once I chose to answer him.
"This is going to be one hell of a ride isn't it?" I asked him and he leaned back in his chair and smirked.
"It sure is Vanessa" he said, tossing his arms behind his head. "It sure is"
I slapped my palm across my for head. "What have I gotten myself into?"
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