"Umm…Severus?"
"Yes, Harry?"
"Do you ever find it weird?"
"What?"
"You know. Umm…us working together. Spending so much time." Severus' heart sank. Harry hated him. For a brief few weeks he'd thought Harry was coming around to his presence, but apparently not.
"When you're not being insufferable, no." Harry grinned at him amiably.
"You mean sometimes I'm not insufferable?" Severus allowed his lip to curl.
"Sometimes you're sufferable. Just."
"Oh Severus. You flatterer." They were sitting up on the chairs. It was late on Thursday night and on Saturday morning they were off to Grimauld place. Severus was both excited and irritated. It was true that he and Harry would have time alone to practise, and as far as he knew nobody was staying there most of the time. But these evenings had a charmed certainty that nobody would – could – come in.
"Do you remember last week when you were reluctant for me to penetrate your mind? Was it anything important?" Severus watched Harry blush. The colour rose all the way back to his ears and he looked up shyly through his eyelashes. Damn.
"No it was…just one of those dreams."
"Not a vision?"
"No! It…I…" Harry was flustered. Severus refilled his glass and Harry knocked the gin back bravely. "I mean one of those dreams. You know? Oh for fuck's sake, I'm a hormonal teenager. Those dreams." Severus wouldn't blush. Severus never blushed. Instead he cleared his throat and wondered if it was possible to be any more aroused without so much as a kiss. "You know, Severus, I don't have them very often, but I'm pretty sure they're trying to tell me I like men." Severus was only able to croak,
"Oh?"
"Yes." Harry's eyes glittered as he looked Severus directly in the face. "Is that bad?"
"It's none of my business. I'm afraid you will find it's very unaccepted in the magical world, more so even than in the muggle one. It's treated as a disease or a defect. But no, it's not bad. I am myself of that noble persuasion." Harry looked up, startled. Severus thought maybe he would bite out his tongue. Did he want Harry to run screaming from the room? Harry didn't look alarmed however. He just looked shocked.
"Oh." He said lamely.
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Yes! And then we're going to Grimauld Place."
"Purge of the Blacks."
"Yes! Goodnight Severus." Harry stood unsteadily and grinned excitedly at him before making a rather undignified exit.
HP/SS
"I just can't help being worried." Hermione sat in front of the fire, absent mindedly knitting elf hats by magic, but her work today was awful because really her mind was on something else, and that something else, was Snape. Harry was upstairs packing and in a few minutes he'd be flooing to Grimauld Place where he's meet Snape for four weeks of intensive training. Since the night she and Ron had followed Harry, he had not mentioned the fiasco and Hermione had taken her lead from him, and advised Ron to do the same. However, Ron had confided to her that some nights Harry did not seem to come back at all and Hermione wondered if he really had taken to sleeping in the Dungeons as Harry had suggested. Ginny, she knew, would be even more heartbroken that usual if she were to find out that Harry and Snape were…well, what exactly? Hermione hadn't seen anything she could technically disapprove of. Maybe if Dumbledore knew that Harry was sleeping there…At that point Harry strolled empty-faced into the common room, levitating a smallish bag in front of him lazily.
"No," he agreed, apparently addressing Hermione's thoughts, "there is nothing incriminating." Hermione felt nettled. She hated it when Harry read her mind. But she forgot to be angry as he swept her out of her chair in an uncharacteristic display of affection. He hugged her tightly, a little off the floor, planted a kiss on her stunned cheek, and replaced her in her chair. "Bye Ron," he said quietly, turning to him. "I'll really miss you guys." And before either of them had time to respond, he had taken Ron's hand for a moment, and then he and his trunk disappeared. And once again Hermione was left worried and helpless. She looked at Ron just in time for her lips to meet his. She smiled into the warm comfort of it and laced her hands into his hair. And then his tongue slid into her mouth and she breathed the comforting taste of him in.
"I nearly died when I saw him kiss you," Ron whispered possessively. It took Hermione a moment to remember what he was talking about. Instead of answering she voiced what had been trying to force its way into her brain all day.
"Isn't that the last person gone from your dorm?"
Much later she fell asleep curled close to Ron. And didn't think of Harry at all.
HP/SS
Severus waited impatiently. Harry never kept him waiting. He sipped some tea and gazed into the fire, trying to work out what could be taking him so long. The fire reminded him of Lilly's hair. Harry was so like her. The intelligence. The fiery temper. The slim form. That magical subtlety. Severus smiled just as the flames turned green and Harry stepped gracefully out of the fireplace.
"Miss me?" He chirped. Severus smiled and raised an eyebrow. "I'll take that as a yes," Harry said good-naturedly. "We could go and practise, but I'm more in the mood for sleeping right now. What about you? Early start instead?"
"If you wish, Potter." Severus was surprised when Harry held out a thin brown hand. Without thinking, he accepted it and Harry pulled him to his feet. They levitated their trunks and took the stairs in comfortable silence. Harry bypassed the first floor and Severus followed him up to the second. Harry took the third left into a small room with a big bed and no windows. He dropped the trunk on the floor, flicked his wand, and his possessions packed themselves in the armoire. Severus opened his mouth to speak.
"I think it's safer if we sleep in the same room, don't you? We know each other well enough for that?" Severus wondered suddenly why all the oxygen had gone from the world. Wrenching his small reserve of decency out of the pit of his stomach, he managed to choke,
"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
"Whyever not?" Harry had never looked so innocent. The minx.
"Two gay men. Big empty house. One bed."
"You're corrupting me," Harry said happily. Incorrigible brat.
"I hope so," Severus muttered before he could stop himself. Harry's impish grin melted into seriousness as he saw Severus' face. "Potter…What are you doing?" Harry, kneeling on the bed, suddenly blushed and immediately Snape remembered his age for the first time in weeks.
"I don't know," Harry admitted.
"I thought not," Severus replied, trying to regain a little of his self control. He looks so… control…and his lips look so…control…and that trail of hair between his shirt and his jeans going down to…Merlin! Harry, on the bed, crying out, eyes hot just like they are right… "Now," said Severus stupidly. Recovering quickly, he continued, "let us stop this nonsense and get some sleep. I am going to dress in the bathroom."
Severus made it to the bathroom before he cried out. He leaned back against the door and groaned. He had never been so hard. Harry had invited him into his bed. He was going to sleep in Harry Potter's bed. He – Severus' hand snaked into his pants and within a minute he was coming, the memory of Harry's blush fresh in his mind.
Back in the bedroom, Harry was already in bed. When Severus pushed open the door, Harry looked up. He had a no-sleeved white t-shirt on and was reading a book propped on his knees. When Severus came in, however, he let the book fall to the floor and slid under the covers. Severus took a deep breath and climbed into bed next to him, waving the room into blackness with a casual hand.
"Severus?"
"Mmm?"
"I…Goodnight."
"Sleep tight." Severus managed to inject a suitable amount of sarcasm into this last.
Oh he was warm. So warm! He could never remember being so warm and comfortable. Or sleeping so soundly! He woke up and remembered where he was. Looking over, he allowed himself a rare smile. Harry was curled into a warm ball, his cheek endearingly smoothed along the pillow, leaving a trail of silky black hair. His lips were slightly parted in sleep. The rest of him was covered by the piles of duvet. Severus lay back down and fell asleep still smiling.
HP/SS
Harry's eyes snapped open as his hips arched forward. His fingers were in his mouth again, he was coming so hard it hurt. As he reached for his wand to clear up the mess he glanced up and his blood froze. He remembered. Severus was lying fast asleep next to him, looking as grumpy as ever, his face crumpled into the pillow. Harry murmured Evanesco and slid back under the covers, smothering a giggle.
This time when Severus woke and turned over, Harry had moved. He lay splayed and abandoned over the pillows, his arms above his head. Severus couldn't suppress a shiver of delightful excitement and desire. Then he mentally slapped himself. Was he a schoolgirl? Harry groaned slightly and rolled closer to Severus as his eyes opened.
"Oh. Morning," he mumbled.
"Good morning." Harry smiled sleepily.
"You're not so spiky in the morning," he slurred by way of explanation. Severus lay down on the pillows, feeling Harry's body heat burning his left side. He clenched his fists by his sides to keep himself from reaching out and stroking…
HP/SS
Harry's body was fizzing. Severus was so close it hurt. He wanted to throw himself on top of him and…he hated his own innocence. Could he kiss? Oh…hell. He inched a little closer to Severus inconspicuously. Severus turned his head and he was very close. Harry could feel his breath on his own lips. Ohh…kiss me please. His heart was hammering. Surely Severus would hear it over the sleepy silence.
"Harry?"
"Yes." It sounded like an affirmation.
"Let's get up."
"No! Stay. Please!" Harry laid a hand on Severus' shoulder and delighted in the answering hiss. Severus grabbed Harry's arm, as though to pull it off, but he did not tug it away.
"Harry…" Severus spoke through gritted teeth. Harry wrapped himself up in that velvety voice, feeling its smoothness all over his body. "Harry, we must get up." So hard…
And then those thin lips were against his and Harry knew that he was either about to come or to die from pleasure. The mouth was hot and insistent, and Harry's head tipped back automatically. His mouth opened, and with a moan he received Severus' tongue into his mouth. His hands were tangled into Severus' hair. And then Severus moved, or Harry moved, he wasn't sure, and Harry's hips jerked forwards against the other body. They both moaned this time, a hot sigh of hungry desire.
"Sir?" Harry sprang away from Severus and his errection disappeared impressively fast. But it was all right. Nobody was in the room.
"Y…yes?" Harry called.
"Kreacher has breakfast, sir." Harry shot a panicked look at Severus, but Severus had disappeared.
"Uh…come in, Kreacher." Kreacher came in happily, laid the groaning breakfast tray on Harry's lap, and bowed himself out. Severus stood up from the floor haughtily. "Where were you?" Harry asked, amazed.
"Under the bed. Obviously." Harry couldn't quite explain why, but this was suddenly, painfully funny. He snorted with laughter and after a short second, he heard Severus' answering snort which meant he was trying not to laugh, but was.
"I'm glad you find it so amusing, Potter," Snape said sternly, but the next moment he found his mouth full of egg and consented to glare at Harry until he had chewed and swallowed. "Harry…"
"Don't! Please, don't ruin it."
"This has gone far enough, Potter and will go no further. In fact, you would do well to forget everything that has happened in the last twelve hours. Pass the toast." Harry threw Severus a dirty look and a piece of toast. Severus was looking at the floor, chewing his toast.
"Legilimends!" He didn't have a wand, and Harry attacked hard. Severus' eyes looked panic stricken as he raised them to Harry, and then Harry was in his head and there it was, pleasure, desire, happiness, mingled with the inevitable embarrassment and guilt. Harry pulled away.
"How dare you," Severus managed. But it was weak. Harry had seen it and Severus knew full well that he had… "You're a student," He tried again.
"I'm sixteen," Harry said haughtily.
"And I'm thirty-seven." Severus replied soberly. There it was. The harsh truth. Twenty-one years. Harry slid off the bed and tripped charmingly towards Severus, who stared. Harry took his hand and tugged slightly.
"I know." He said, wishing that he could articulate better what his head thought. I don't care, he wanted to scream, I don't care how old or greasy you are, you bastard…Instead of shouting these words at the man who hated answering back, Harry let his head fall back and he stretched up onto his tiptoes to brush his lips against his tutor's. His stomach flipped. Harry was shaking. And then the arms were around him and that clever tongue was parting his lips, and Harry melted into the embrace, his hips arching slightly, longing for that contact…
"Don't," Severus pleaded against his lips, and then dived back in for another searing kiss, this time pressing his own warm body against Harry's. After a few heart-stopping seconds, in which Harry began to tremble, Severus pulled away with a noise that was almost a snarl. "Stop!" He croaked, and Harry did stop, out of pure shock at the change that had come over Severus. His face was transported, a haunted, desperate look in his eyes. Harry backed onto the bed.
"Are you alright?" He ventured.
Severus threw him a look.
"Err…Sorry; I can see you're not. I'm sorry; I thought…I don't understand."
Severus seemed to be soothed by this comment. "I know you don't," he replied quietly. "You couldn't possibly with your experience." Ouch. That hit home. "Lead us not into temptation." Harry started. He knew those words. He had read them once in Mrs Figg's Bible.
"How do you know that prayer?" Harry interrupted.
"How do you?" Returned Severus challengingly. "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
"You don't believe in God do you?"
"Of course not. The principle is still the same."
"Well why not? I like you, and you like me…I think. We could make a real life for ourselves."
"Until one of us dies, you mean?"
"Is that it? You're afraid that having feelings for me will make it hurt more when you loose me?"
"You think life and death are so simple, don't you? Well, here's some news; they're not. You don't have any idea what you're talking about. It could never happen."
"I know nothing's simple! I have no parents, remember? I lost my godfather, and I'm constantly reminded that I might die tomorrow, that my time is limited. How can you say I don't understand that? But I do know…look, I've thought about it, we could –"
"Look, Potter, there's dreams and there's life. Learn the difference."
"If you'd just shut up a minute you would see I'm trying to tell you something! I think I love you." There was a long silence in which Harry stared defiantly at Severus, slowly turning red and Severus glared back. Then he turned away.
"It's not enough. There's no life for people like us. You've got to face the world and accept it for what it is. And someday you'll change; you'll grow out of it.
"I'm asking to grow with you. You didn't grow out of it."
Severus looked back at him with a twisted smile. "No, I didn't. I remained defected and now spend my time admiring something that I can never have."
"But you can –"
"Is there nothing I can say? No! Do you understand that? No!" Harry hung his head.
"I still don't understand why, but I do understand 'no'."
"Good. Now, let's forget this ever happened and get to work."
"Okay. And Severus?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry I…misunderstood." There it was again. That haunted look.
"You are forgiven."
Then he was gone, and Harry was left to clear up the breakfast and pull himself together.
HP/SS