Author note: I own nothing!
*Catnip Casanova*
"Are you sure this is going to work Mantis?" Po asked nervously as fingered the bouquet Viper had gathered for his...gulp...date.
"Positive. Now quit figiting, your making me nervous."
"Tell why I shouldn't be nervous when I'm about to go on a date with Tigress. Yanno Tigress, Master of the Tiger Style, who would probably kill me if I act like an idiot today." Po startred paceing and muttering unintelligable things under his breath like a crazy person.
"Po!" Viper immedialty slapped him with her tail, waking him up from his neurotic fest.
"What? Thanks Viper!"
Mantis hopped on his shoulder, "Yeah man, at least you didn't hit on her on your first day at the palace."
Po looked at the bug in shock. "You what?"
Mantis smiled sheepishly. "Yeah...not my best move...couldn't sit for a week."
"Yeah the closest you came to that was when your evil half hit on her...three times actually," Crane said.
"Right...wait! Does that still count as me? Or not?"
"I have no clue."
"How about we get back on to the task at hand, boys?" Viper asked, slightly exhasperated.
"Right!"
"So how do I look?" Po looked down at the new pants Mantis had him change into. Because the patch-work look just wasn't covering it. They were smooth and a dark gray that Viper said was charcole and a the waist band had a dark green dragon trainling across it.
"You look great...and your running late!" Mantis yelped.
"Yikes! Wait just one thing." Po then pulled out the cologne bottle and put some more on...he felt like he would need it. Before he knew it he had used up the entire freaking bottle!
"Oof! Po too much! Too much," Mantis said as he and the others caughed a bit.
"Really?"
"Yes...," Viper said, "but its too late to do anything about it! Your really late now!"
"Go go go go go!"
"Alright! Alright!" Po yelled as he was shoved through the door by the others. He ran outside so quickly they all fell onto the floor causing Po to look back and laugh.
"And that's what happens when you shove...the...Dragon...whoa..." he trailed off when he saw the feline infront of him.
"What? What is it Po-" Viper and the others looked around Po to see Tigress. At least they thought it was Tigress.
"Whoa..," the others repeated.
"Well," Tigress asked coyly, "what do you think Po."
"I think...you look...wow...so...so...awesome...," he sighed (think of like in the first movie when she did that split in the air).
None of them could believe it. Tigress was wearing... PINK! She had a crown of pink tiger lilies and fire pinks on her head and bracelets made of them on her wrists and ankles. Her fur was well groomed, making it look soft and silky. She looked like a forest spirit.
So. Much. Pink(Fire pinks are actually pinkish-red). But it wasn't overdone or flashy...it looked sweet and innocent-still her age but happier than they'ld ever seen her.
"Thank you Dragon Warrior."
He suddenly remembered the bouquet and nerviously held them out to her.
"T-these a-ar-are for yo-u," he stuttered.
Tigress grinned and took the bouquet, sniffing them. "Hmmmm. Thank you Po. They're lovely."
She then aggressively latched onto his arm, dragging him to the valley.
"Com'on!" she whined-actually whined-, "let's get outta here, Po! The seriousness of this place is suffocating me!"
The rest of the Five watched in a mixture of awe and shock as Tigress dragged Po down the thousand steps.
"Whoa..."
Kung Fu Panda
Shifu groggily woke up. He didn't know where he was, someplace outside and in the open. How did he get here? Suddenly it all hit him like a ton of bricks. Tigress. The flowers. Po. The date. Scorpion.
"I have to warm the others," Shifu said to himself. He tried to move but couldn't feel his...anything.
"Hehehehehehehehehe..." Scorpion lept down infront of him a wide cocky grin spread on her face, "Noticed my paralysis venom have we now?You can whisper to yourself but can't move an inch. Good luck calling for help. Sorry, but I couldn't let you interfer with their date. Kinda ruin my plan..."
Shifu struggled to move anything but failed once again. He yelled at her in vioce that was diluted by the venom. She was right, yelling for help would do no good. Not unless someone was listening for even the smallest of sounds. Besides he didn't even know where he was.
"What sort of plan would involve a catnip cologne!"
She chuckled, "For one thing it distracts both your daughter and the panda, but distraction isn't all that I have in mind. You see catnip isn't the only thing I added to the cologne."
Shifu's eyes went wide, "What. Did. You. Add."
Scorpion chuckled, "It's something quite special actually...a very unique reaction of herbs that very few healers know of. Oh, I won't bore you over what plants make this sort of reaction. But I will tell you what this reaction causes. While the catnip does cause your daugher to act...affectionate toward the panda this other plant has a slow reaction with the catnip. It increases the aroma of the catnip ten-fold alowing it to affect a certain other species."
It clicks in Shifu's head, "Pandas!"
Scorpion nods, "Exactly! By that time part of the aroma will have been rubbed on the tiger causing him to act just as she is. Then comes the third reaction..."
Only one thought entered Shifu's mind, Oh dear...
Kung Fu Panda
Tigress had pulled Po down the thousands steps and into the valley babbling about "how cute he was" and "how awesome and bodasious he was" which was making the black and white panda black and red.
"Remember how awesome you were on your first day," Tigress giggled at the memory.
"Awesome? I completely failed my first day!"
"But you failed awesomely!" she squealed. Great. She was now acting like a psycho fangirl. And it was beginning to scare him.
She jerked him into the valley, oblivious to the stares they were given as they passed. Tigress seemed to know exactly where she wanted to go.
"Where are we going?" Po asked, blushing at a lot of the coments and rumors being spread.
"To your dad's shop, silly."
"Right...What! Why?"
Tigress spoke to him like a parent would a five year old who was slow, "We're going to tell him about us, silly."
"Us! We haven't even gone out on a first date yet!" Po clamped a paw over his mouth, truely afriad of how she would react to his outburst.
"Sniff, sniff..."
What he didn't expect was her to start crying-bawling actually. More tears than he thought was possible for any person-exceptialy Tigress-to shead were pouring down her cheeks.
"Y-you wan-na br-hic-eak up-hic- r-rig-ht..." Tigress blubbered. She was gathering a lot of attention. A lot, a lot of attention. After the watchers got over the shock that Master Tigress was crying, they glared at Po since he had made her cry. Some whispered what a jerk he was and how he didn't diserve the title of Dragon Warrior.
Gotta fix this, he though to himself. "Tigress, Tigress! Please stop crying! I'll do anything! Shhh...shhhh...it's all right...see your..uh..boyfriend doesn't like to you cry. Cause I'm your boyfriend and your my...uhh...girlfriend..."
Tigress stopped crying when he said that he wsa her boyfriend and she was his girlfriend. He admitted it!
She tackled him in a hug, squealing.
"Yeah! Come on, lets go! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go!" she yelled, pulling him toward the noodle shop.
This is gonna be a looong date...
Whatcha think? Like, dislike, blah! Review please!
Uh oh...
Okay, um, readers listen up. Don't panic but, uh, catnip crazy Tigress might have just, ummm, escaped from this story!
If you see her bring her back! You might have to tranquilize her first but bring her back alive!
Beware!