((Like I said, reference in the narrative changing with mirror characters.

The chapter heading is a quote from the song Breathe on meby Delain.

I am, in hindsight, quite glad about my choice of narrative. It makes a change in viewpoint a lot easier to pull off without being confusing. I hope.))

Chapter 4

My Heart is Black, My Soul is Bleeding

T'Kray emerged from her sleep with a strong sense of relief. The short physical contact with Doctor McCoy had unleashed a tide of impressions on her that seemed too much and too contradictory for one person. His emotions had crashed into her mind before she had time to shield herself. Confusion, fear, despair, and a wild hope he tried and failed to keep under a lid. He had said he was angry, but she didn't sense that. Obviously humans were quite unable to differentiate their own feelings. Why he wanted to suppress the only positive emotion in a blend that resulted in slight but definite bitterness eluded her as well.

T'Kray considered herself lucky that she wasn't one to deny her own emotions. Then the onslaught would have been much worse. Even so, she had needed meditation to shake off the impressions. How the man lived with himself was a miracle to her.

With the foreign thunderstorm gone, she walked to the room she had assigned them. She heard quiet conversation from within and knocked. 'Come in.' Judging from the crisp sound of his voice, McCoy had been awake for a while. She stepped inside and found the medic sitting on one of the field beds, his feet resting on one of the others, his back against the wall. He looked entirely relaxed, but after last night, she didn't buy that. Spock sat upright in a very Vulcan posture. 'Good morning, T'Kray. How's that Vainal?'

'I gave him something for the pain. He's not happy, afraid of what will happen. I'll try and persuade him to join us. He can't go back into the mine.'

'I assumed he's already part of the rebellion if he's here.'

'No. The infirmary is a hospital for all that need help and have nowhere else to go. It's a risk, but so far we haven't been betrayed. I can hardly turn the few that come and ask me to treat them away, can I?'

'You can, but that you're not doing it speaks in your favour. So what's the plan for today?'

'Well, breakfast first, I should think. Later I would ask you to set up what lab you can. Maybe we can synthesise the remedy for the mineral poisoning. Between the two I would ask you to have a look at the catatonic human.'

'I'll do that before I eat, thank you. If I've learned anything from last night, it's that your surprises don't go well with food.'

'For a doctor, you're quite squeamish.'

'I'm not squeamish. Not under normal circumstances. But so far, something normal still has to come my way here. Until then, I'm going to overreact, gripe, and glower at my leisure. I'm a human and perfectly entitled to be irrational like that.'

'I doubt it makes you feel better, but please, be my guest. If you want to get a tour of the place, you should come with me, anyway. I'm not giving it twice because you decide to be stubborn. I will meet you outside.'

ϡ

The two men left the building together, McCoy with a frown that told he hadn't wanted to. 'Thank you,' she said. He offered a nod and looked a little appeased. 'You can see the peristyle from here. We can either go there directly, and I show you the rest afterwards, or the other way round.'

'Your call, Doctor,' Spock said.

'I take breakfast first. At least then I'll have some time in between.'

'Very well.' She headed across the lawn to the peristyle. 'There are three buildings on the premises.'

'You don't say.' T'Kray's lips twitched, but she refused to smile at the impertinent human.

'Back there is the radio tower and power plant. It isn't an actual power plant, it merely leeches power. But I refused to call it a power leech. The infirmary is a part of the building we call the Residence. It's where everyone has their quarters. The building is defensible. A part of it can be sealed completely, even air-tight. The third building is the Alms. It's where we eat, grow things, store things. There are also recreation rooms.' They had reached the peristyle, a colonnaded garden with tables and benches, surrounded by flowers. With the Tower and the Residence behind them, the place looked absolutely peaceful. 'You fetch your breakfast from inside. Grab anything you like, food is one of the things we do not lack. There is a sitting area inside, but right now it is locked because it's warm outside. You can eat at pretty much any time you choose to, but you will have to prepare your own food or warm what is left if you choose to have lunch at four o'clock or so. Oh, yes. The daylight cycle is 25,12 hours, so you will not have any difficulty adjusting. Winter is very cold, but that's a long time from now.'

Inside, the walls were lined with tables that held all kinds of food imaginable. Fried meat, vegetables, fruit, cereal, and bread in great variety were found next to teas, juices, and water. There were also things T'Kray knew neither Spock nor McCoy would be able to pin a name on. 'For a war zone you sure have some luxury,' the Doctor said, taking it all in.

'We have connections. Grab what you like and meet me back outside. I'll occupy a table in the sun.' This late in the morning most of the tables were free. Since she didn't feel remotely hungry, T'Kray decided to ditch breakfast. She found a table near the building and sat facing the entrance. McCoy and Spock both emerged with food. To her surprise, the human had chosen things that would be a perfectly acceptable diet for any Vulcan rather than something consisting mostly of meat as his species tended to do. The Vainal, in that respect, were no different and sometimes wondered at T'Kray for being a vegetarian. 'Any reason for your healthy fare?' McCoy blinked at her.

'Other than common sense?' He smiled. 'Nah. I eat what I like. And I try not to overindulge in the morning.'

'While you eat, let us talk about Dainam. I think I will do most of the talking, so you can eat in peace. One thing interests me, though, before I launch into my lecture. What do you know about this planet?' McCoy and Spock exchanged a glance.

'Well, the planet's been conquered by pirates is what I've heard,' the Doctor said. 'I know that the Vainal are humanoid, I recognise one when I see one, and I also know that no-one ever took measures to free them, whyever that is.' Spock steepled his fingers.

'Essentially correct but for one detail. There were plans to free the Vainal shortly after the conquest. A spokesperson of the Vainal, however, informed the Federation that their help was not desired. Nor was any contact.'

'Well, he probably said that at gunpoint!'

'I quite agree. It was enough for the Federation at that time, and later other matters seemed more urgent. The conquest, by the way, was not conducted by ordinary pirates. This was before the Federation contacted other planets themselves. First contact was often made by non-federational organisations. One of these was undermined by organised crime. The result is the fate of the Vainal. After the incident, the NFO was forbidden, and NFOs in general were no longer allowed to represent the Federation. Here the harm was already done and many considered it an overreaction. There was, in fact, no other such incident before or after this one. NFOs are mostly socio-political advocacy groups. Fraud does not appear to be a common issue.' He looked at T'Kray. 'That is all I know, I am afraid.'

'You know more than I expected. Please do eat. I will provide more recent information for you.' She looked at McCoy, the left corner of her mouth turning up very slightly. 'The Vainal, as you say, are humanoid. Although their outward appearance is very different to yours, their inner organs are very similar but mirror-inverted. Their skintone is grey with a hint of blue and doesn't vary very much. They have little physical strength but are strong telepaths. Stronger than us. They are also highly intelligent, but mathematical and technical understanding is poorly developed. Some have slight telekinetic abilities.

'The society of the Vainal is rooted deeply in their religion. If you want to pin a name on their faith, it would be pantheism. They have a High Priestess, who is the highest political power within the Vainal. She also happens to be part of the rebellion. Her name is Avrinjù and you may meet her later today.

'Amazingly, despite what they've been through, the Vainal aren't at all afraid of strangers, and it took a long time for them to realise they had to fight. Forming the rebellion was difficult, but now it's stable enough. We have a few humans, too. We had more a few years ago, but they were caught and executed. The leader of the Vainal in general is Avrinjù, but I am, you could say, the head of the rebellion. They listen to me, they trust me. With their life, as it turns out.'

'Since when does this rebellion exist?' McCoy asked.

'Well, when it finally came to be, it did so gradually. About ninety years ago we started building the Tower, if you want to use that point to mark the official beginning.'

'We? How long exactly have you been here?' T'Kray looked at McCoy and answered without a moment of hesitation.

'109 years, ten months, eight days, and seven hours.' T'Kray watched the Doctor's expression darken. She knew why. He realised his hopes to leave were slim. But since her own crash, a lot of time had passed. For the moment she left him to his gloom, however. It might help her with her plan later, if she needed to put it into action.

When they were finished, she showed them the other buildings: the inside of the Alms, the Tower, and finally, the Residence. On the way back to the infirmary, McCoy spoke again. He sounded subdued but calm enough. 'You mentioned connections that supply you with food.' T'Kray nodded.

'Ah, yes. If you follow the paths from here, you will come to a vineyard. To the west, there are fields, then a village and more fields. All that belongs to one of our own. She supplies us with food and intelligence.'

'A peasant woman gone agent?'

'A very decent human who doesn't condone large-scale murder. Spock, we are here. I will, of course, not allow you to be harmed by the meld. I hope you trust me in that.'

'I do. In there?' T'Kray nodded and stepped into the sickroom before them.

ϡ

Spock made to follow her but stopped so abruptly Leonard nearly walked into him. He felt a sinking sensation, a sudden surge in the ominous dread in his gut. His heart was racing, his pulse pounding somewhere in his throat with so much force he wondered if the two devil-eared humanoids could hear its wild tattoo. 'Spock, what is it?' He tried to move past him, but the Vulcan was successfully blocking the doorway.

'Doctor, you should sit down, then I will tell you.' His voice was quiet and hoarse and full of pain.

'Move aside, Spock. What the hell's going on?' The Vulcan turned to face him, probably to say something in reply, but Leonard took advantage of the opportunity to move past him and into the room.

His eyes found the only occupied hospital bed, and like his friend before, he froze. He blinked, more than once. If his heart had been racing seconds ago, he now thought it must have stopped, but he was still standing. The room began to revolve around him, slowly at first, then like a carousel. The only fixed point was the bed, an impossibility taunting him, torturing his mind and his heart. His face felt cold, all blood had gone somewhere he couldn't fathom. Strong hands took hold of his arms, he heard someone say his name, but couldn't react. A veil fell between him and the world.

'Leonard.' He came to as abruptly as he had passed out. He sat up with a start and was instantly dizzy. 'Lie back down. For a moment I feared your heart had failed. I am relieved you were only unconscious.' He obeyed without question, too astonished even to taunt Spock for being emotional enough to fear for his life.

'You've never called me that, even when I asked you to. Why start now?' He didn't get an answer and opened his eyes. He was back in the room they had spent the night in, alone with Spock. 'Spock, tell me I haven't gone mad.'

'No more than I.' A weary smile spread on Leonard's face. He had said a hundred times that Spock was being delusional, that he wanted no part in his mad quest. 'I initiated a mind meld. It was very difficult to break through the blockade rendering him unable to communicate, but he is in there. He cannot, however, get out, for some reason. T'Kray says she may have a solution now that she knows he is not just a shell.' He paused for a moment. 'I apologise for my lack of formality when you woke up, Doctor.' Leonard did sit up now, however slowly.

'No, don't be a fool. Aren't we friends?'

'I hope so.'

'Then use my first name. I carried your soul around, for crying out loud. If that doesn't warrant a bit of informality I don't know what does, Spock.' He looked deeply into the Vulcan's eyes, as always unfathomable. 'Is he going to be all right?'

'I am afraid I cannot answer that question. T'Kray might be able to give you odds. She is talking to her High Priestess right now and will be back shortly. She said she will require assistance, if she is allowed to save him. Apparently she has to convince Avrinjù that he is not a spy. I told T'Kray who he is, and I am confident she will try to help.'

'Good man. Anyway, no matter what she asks, there's nothing I wouldn't do.'

'Agreed.'

'It's so hard to believe. Tell me. Let me hear it.'

'What do you need to hear, Leonard?' He felt his lower lip tremble. Angry at what his age was turning him into, he waited for the stupid wave of sentiment to subside before he trusted himself with speech.

'What I saw.' He earned himself a look of mild confusion.

'But you do remember.'

'Humour me.' Spock nodded. His expression showed hardly anything and someone who hadn't known him for decades wouldn't see any change in it. Leonard saw it: a mixture of understanding and pity, a blend that was answer enough in itself without the words.

'You saw right. Jim is here. He is alive, like the others. I sensed him, I was not hallucinating. But he is drifting away. If T'Kray does not get her answer today, it will be too late. We can only hope.'

((The end of this chapter shouldn't come as too much of a surprise, given the summary. I must say, I've never before applied 'confront first, explain later' techniques in writing. I'm experimenting a lot in this. I promise, explanations will come gradually. A hint is already in there.))