Me: Today I have to use old convos because I don't have a prompt.

Iggy: She doesn't own Maximum Ride, Artemis Fowl, Elmo, Mickey Mouse, CSI, Invader ZIM, The Mad Hatter and The March Hare.

Me: But I DO own Kyle, Ben, Mack Simum-Ride, and the walrus.

Onward!

This is a dream I had after reading St. Fang Of Boredom's "Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu"

Me: Iggy, you're a bad father!

Iggy: No, it's just that our daughter never shuts up!

Me: *Covers Nudgiekins's ears* Iggy! How can you say that? I want a divorce! *Sob*

Iggy: Good! So do I!

Nudgiekins: Nudgie want muffin!

Me: Not now, Nudgiekins. You're father and I are divorcing.

Nudgiekins: *Grabs divorce papers and starts to eat them*

Me: Now you need to pay child support.

Iggy: No! I'm taking custody.

Nudgiekins: *Looks at Iggy's face and starts screaming* !

Iggy: And I'm taking her to a Russian Orphanage in Guam.

Nudgiekins: No! No Guam!

Me: No way! Nudgiekins hates you. I get custody!

Iggy: Fine! *Gives me skittles* Take your stupid child support!

Me: Good, now get out of my life.

*Fang walks in with a sinister-looking box*

Nudgiekins: FANG!

Me: Go away! Don't hurt my Nudgiekins!

Fang: Why would I do that... *Hides box behind back*

Me: You're a bad influence.

Fang: No, you are!

Me: No I'm not! I'm a good mother! *Sob*

Fang: Okay fine. Be that way.

Me: Now go away! Can't you see I'm trying to raise a child here?

Fang: *Walks out grumbling*

The Wedding of JPfreak100 (Kayla) and Fang

Me: Hi.

Kayla: Ah, hallo.

Iggy: *Tries to run*

Kayla: *Trips Iggy*

Me: Bad Kayla!

Kayla: Iggy, I love you! NOT! Fangfangfang!

Iggy: *Is disturbed*

Me: *Laughs evily*

Kayla: *Evil voice* Where's Fang? *Elmo voice* Where's Fang?

Iggy: AHHH ELMO?

Kayla: But where's Fang?

Me: I don't know.

Kayla: WAAAHHH! *Sucks thumb*

Me: Fang's not here... *Looks around* But IGGY is! IN YOUR FACE!

Kayla: *Pulls Fang out of random closet* FANG! *Hugs Fang* Where's my skittles?

Me: AHH! Don't hurt my Nudgiekins!

Fang: Whaaat?

Kayla: I love you too Fang.

Fang: *Backing away slowly* O-kaaaay...

Kayla: Killer.

Me: Iggy hasn't talked in a long time...

Iggy: M-o-u... M-o-s-u-e... Mickey mouse!

Me: YAY! *Hugs Iggy*

Kayla: Killer.

Fang: ?

Kayla: Yes, I'll marry you!

Fang: Whaaat?

Iggy: *Plays wedding music*

Kayla: *Is suddenly wearing a wedding dress*

Me: By the power invested in me, as a fanfiction author, I now pronounce bird-kid and wife!

Fang: WHAT?

Iggy: You may now kiss the bride!

Fang: !

Kayla: Kiss me, Fang! *Punches* NOW!

Fang: *Tries to run* *Trips* *Gets shot by emo*

Iggy: I knew he was emo!

Me: No, wait, I meant to put Elmo!

Iggy: AHHHH ELMO?

Kayla: =( Killer.

Elmo: Iggy's my boyfriend!

Me: NO, HE'S MINE! *Kills Elmo*

Kayla: Fang's my husband! =D

Fang: Wha- okay.

Kayla: Where's my skittles?

Total: I ate dem.

Kayla: AHH DOGGIE! *Steps on Total*

Fang: Total, I got married!

Total: What?

Kayla: *Sniffs computer* Smells like tootsie rolls!

Me: The smell of evil!

Iggy: Mwahahahamburger!

Kayla: MwahaPINEAPPLE!

Walrus: Glub?

Me: AHHH WALRUS?

Fin.

What would actually happen if the flock formed a band...

Nudge: We like totally made a band and stuff! WEEE!

Gazzy: *Smashes guitar* ROCK ON!

Max: GAZZY! That was our last guitar!

Gazzy: ...Sorry...

Fang: ... *Turns invisble*

Max: Lalala... *Max and Fang start making out behind an amp*

Angel: I'll be the new leader!

Iggy: But I don't want you to lead...

Angel: WELL F*CK YOU THEN! *Throws flaming piano at Iggy*

Dylan: I'm gonna start a solo career! *Grabs a mic and starts singing* MAAAX I LOVE YOU, YES I DO! AND FANG SHOULD GO DIE IN A HOLE!

Fang: *Cries*

Max: F*CK YOU DYLAN! *Pushes Dylan into a pit of boiling lava*

Fin.

A Random Tea-party...

Me: Yes.

...

Iggy: ...Now what?

Me: Maybe we should build a bivouac?

Iggy: *Facepalms*

March Hare: YOU'RE LATE FOR TEA! *Throws teacup at Kayla*

Me: Kayla!

Kayla: Jessica!'

Iggy: Kayla?

Kayla: Iggy!

Me: March Hare!

Kayla: Fang!

Foaly: Foaly!

Iggy: Foaly?

Me: Mack!

Kayla: Mack?

March Hare: Hatter!

The Mad Hatter: *Flutterwackens*

Foaly: Who's Mack?'

Kayla: Who're you?

Iggy: What's Kayla doing here?

Me: And March Hare, Foaly, Fang, Mack, and Mad Hatter?

Kayla: Fang's here? Where?

Foaly: I still don't know who Mack is!

Kayla: I still don't know who you are!

Iggy: Come to think of it, why am I here?

Me: I have no idea!

Iggy: Well WTF then.

Kayla: Where the fnick is Fang?

March Hare: HE'S LATE FOR TEA! *Throws teacup at Fang who just materialized*

Mad Hatter: Oh good, now we can have tea!

Me: But Mack's not here yet!

Orion: I'm here!

Holly: *Appears* *Shoots Orion* *Disappears*

Foaly: WHO THE HECK IS MACK?

Mack: I'm Mack!

March Hare: SEND HIM TO THE WHITE QUEEN, HAHHA! *Looks at spoon* Spoon.

Mack: I'm Mack!

Foaly: MACK! *Growls*

Mack: FOALY! *Growls*

Me: IGGY!

Hatter: Teatime!

*Everyone is suddenly sitting at the tea-table from Alice In Wonderland*

Hatter: Lalala... *Pours tea*

Me: There's no time for tea!

Kayla: We have to save the world!

DUN DENENA!

Fin.

WHO IS MACK?

Mack: I'm Mack!

Me: Mack who?

Mack: Simum-Ride.

Iggy: Mack Simum-Ride? Oh... I get it.

Fin.

Me: Well, that's it...

Iggy: Mhm.

Me: Review! And answer these two questions:

1) Why was I wearing 3D glasses when I wrote chapter 3?
2) Why do waffles have squares?