When I woke up it was dark.
Although I'd obviously slept the day away, my eyes felt heavy and it took all my energy to pry them open. My body was stiff and sore; every limb felt like lead and my muscles seemed to be laced with burning acid.
Every movement was a struggle, but hearing the sound of Peeta's deep and even breathing beside me I did my best not to wake him. Throwing my legs over the side of the bed I stretched me toes to the floor, wincing at the sharp cold against my bare feet.
The eerie silence in the halls beyond the walls spooked me; there was nothing, not even the footfalls of passing individuals.
Running a hand through my short and tangled mat of hair, I stood slowly, testing out my body as I made me way to the door.
It was only normal, I told myself, explaining away the silence in my mind.
The hospital in 12 had only been open for a few short months. They were considerably short staffed, and even though more people were returning to the tiny, rebuilt district ever month there couldn't possibly be enough inhabitants, much less injured or sick, to fill the clinic's empty rooms.
And that was obviously a blessing.
The quiet was only natural, but still, I couldn't help but feel slightly unnerved.
Too often, terrible things came after quiet.
Turning my head over my shoulder, I looked back at Peeta, sleeping soundly – some color returning to his face – and decided it would be alright to leave him for just a minute.
It would be good to stretch my legs.
Stepping into the hall, I quietly closed the door behind me taking in a deep breath and hoping for freshness, but getting more of the same.
Antiseptic and bleach.
I couldn't wait to be out of the hospital.
The building was small and the halls were few, but I made my way through them stealthily, padding silently up and down like a ghost.
Taking in the stillness I found myself suddenly thinking of my mother.
Somewhere, far away in District 4, she might be in a hospital just like this one; tending to patients and speaking comforting words to those who were hurting. I'd talked with her once since the Rebellion ended, over the phone. I knew that she was safe, and that she was trying to start over. That's she still grieved for Prim. I knew my mother lived with Annie, watching over her, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.
She took care of Annie now, and Annie's baby son – not me. I remembered late night stories about "little birds named Katniss" that I'd shared with my mother, and her smooth hands as she fastened the buttons of my red plaid school dress.
"You trust me Katniss…"
I remembered her voice, just barely. It'd been so long since I'd heard it.
"Where's my brave Katniss… that girl's not afraid of anything…"
I shut my eyes tight, my chest clenching around the pain as I remembered her, how I'd loved her once.
I thought of Prim, how close she and my mother had been.
I wondered if secretly my mother hated me for my own hand in Prim's death.
If she could ever forgive me.
A raspy snore from the shadows brought me out of my thoughts and I stopped where I was in the hall, frozen.
I knew that snore.
"Haymitch?" I whispered, creeping closer to the sleeping, bear like figure hunched over in a chair.
He snorted, jerking up suddenly, startled.
"That you sweetheart?" His voice was thick and garbled – I could tell he'd been drinking.
"Haymitch, what are you doing here?"
He didn't reply at first, stretching his tired body as he looked over at me through the poor light of the hallway.
"I'm… watching over you two love birds." He said, slurring his words. "Making sure you keep it clean in there."
My eyeroll was lost to him as he chuckled at his own joke.
"Peeta's not well, don't even joke about that." I said, my voice ringing with slight annoyance. "Why are you here?"
Haymitch shrugged then, slumping back down in to the chair, wiping a hand under his nose.
"I needed some rest, and the liquor didn't put me out tonight."
I didn't say anything, not even sure what Haymitch was trying to say.
"I sleep better when I know you two knuckleheads are okay…"
His voice trailed off then in incoherent slurs, and I stood where I was, rooted to the ground with surprise.
Part of me was touched as I saw Haymitch just a little differently, making me momentarily forgive him of all of his many faults.
Another part of me just wished I had a tape recorder, Haymitch would deny every word in the morning.
"I'm sorry." I said then, almost thankful in a way that he wouldn't remember any of this.
"I was wrong, I was wrong for treating you the way I did."
Haymitch sputtered, dismissing my apology with his hands and I caught the strong sent of alcohol on his breath.
"Forget about it sweetheart, we all know I'm always right, let's just leave it at that."
I shook my head at him, completely confused by my feelings of affection for that somewhat ridiculously intoxicated man.
"Get some rest Haymitch," I said, turned back towards Peeta's room. "Sleep it off."
Almost immediately, for once, Haymitch obeyed my orders, falling back into the sweet oblivion of sleep.
Morning came too quickly, trouble in its wake.
"What do you mean I can't go with Peeta?" I belted out, rage coursing through me voice.
The Doctor from the Capitol, the one who would take care of Peeta, had arrived in 12 just hours before and during preparations to leave the following day, I'd found out that it was not intended to make the trip with Peeta.
The Doctor, a young, thin man with pasty skin and mousy brown hair, held up his hands in defense.
"I'm just following orders Miss Everdeen – your sentence clearly states that you are not to return to the Capitol until further notice."
The memory of my sentencing invades my consciousness.
I'd never given it a day's thought, especially after Peeta and I had decided ourselves never to return there.
But plans had changed, and to me, the Capitol could be death itself, and I was determined to follow Peeta even there.
"You don't understand," I whispered fiercely, glancing back in the direction of Peeta's room, where I'd left him moments before. "I need to be with him – we need to be with each other!"
The doctor shook his head sadly.
"Unfortunately Miss there's nothing I can do, without permission from higher authorities I can't allow you to accompany Mr. Mellark back to the Capitol."
Desperation was seeping into my chest, making it almost impossible to breath. My hands clenched tightly to my sides, my eyes wild, I thought frantically for a way out – any way out.
"Please sir, please – "
The doctor stopped me, holding up a hand in my direction.
"I'm sorry, I really am, but there's simply nothing I can do. Mr. Mellark will return to the Capitol for treatment, you will remain behind as your sentence requires. It's just that simple."
He turned then, leaving me where I stood before I could open my mouth again to speak. I stood there in stunned silence, I'd never considered the possibility that I wouldn't be allowed to return to the Capitol. Sinking into a hard plastic chair I pounded my clenched fists together, my eyes darting around the room.
I wanted Haymitch. Haymitch would fix it; he'd make them understand that I needed to go with Peeta. They'd understand then.
I didn't think any further, rushing to the hall where I'd left Haymitch the night before, sleeping off his liquor. Sprinting through the halls, I reached the place in record time.
Haymitch was gone.
Deep down inside, I knew he couldn't have gone far, but on the surface I panicked, thinking that if I couldn't find him I'd lose Peeta.
Again.
It was irrational, it was completely insensible, but in my damaged, warbled mind it made sense.
If I could just get Haymitch, he could fix it.
I ran to the first place I thought he might be, right back from where I'd come.
As I neared Peeta's room, the clearly hung over and gravelly voice of my mentor confirmed my suspicions that Haymitch had gone to see him.
Bursting through the door, I didn't even stop to wonder if Peeta knew about my sentencing, how it would affect us, or if anyone had told him. I was beyond thinking.
"Haymitch!" I called out, going straight to where he sat perched on the end of Peeta's bed.
"Good morning to you too sweetheart." He grumbled, rubbing at his aching head.
"Have you heard," I began desperately. "They're not allowing me back into the Capitol!"
Peeta's head immediately turned in my direction, his eyebrows raised, his face still pale.
"What do you mean they won't allow it Katniss?" Peeta said. "Why?"
I didn't need to answer him, Haymitch did it for me.
"Her sentencing boy," he said to Peeta quickly, before turning his attention to me. "How could you forget about it?"
I ignored the scoff in his tone; I should've known our reconciliation – paired with intoxication – wouldn't last long.
"It's not something I've really given to much thought to you know, until yesterday I was planning never to go back to the Capitol again! How do you expect me to think back and readily recall the sentence of a trail I don't even remember!"
Haymitch rolled his eyes, and Peeta spoke up.
"Is there anything we can do Haymitch," he said, his voice considerably lower than either Haymitch's or my own.
Haymitch shook his head.
"I really don't know – I'm just babysitting you remember – that's all I was supposed to be doing back in 12, I haven't got any strings left to pull."
His words sent rocks of hopelessness back into my stomach, and I could feel my hands, now unclenched, shaking slightly at my sides.
Silence stretch between the three of us for a moment, then broken by Peeta's reassuring voice.
"Maybe it's better this way Katniss, maybe we shouldn't fight it…"
"No!" I said, almost surprised by the intensity of my own voice.
"I lost you once before to the Capitol Peeta – I'm not going to lose you again! I'm going with you, I don't care what they say!"
No one said anything for a moment, Peeta just started at me – I couldn't tell what he was thinking – and Haymitch sat where he was, stroking his chin with his thumb and forefinger.
"Well," Haymitch began slowly. "If that's what you want Mockingjay, I suggest we make ourselves a plan."
And just like that, we did.
Sorry this chapter is short, and took longer than most, but unfortuantely, writing is only my second life. Read with a watchful eye, this story is going to cover alot of ground, I'm only just getting started! Hope you've enjoyed it!
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