It Won't Fall Apart…Will It?

Shadow returned to the room to find Sonic sitting quietly, staring at his knees. His gloved hands were clasped, resting between the small space where his knees parted. His eyes were red from crying, that much Shadow could see, and the fur about his cheeks had become wet and were not fluffy like before, so that the fur conformed to the shape of his cheeks, hollowed like that of a ghostly prisoner. He moved little, but for the slight jiggling of his leg. He was uncomfortable here, and Shadow could taste it in the air as he sat down, pretending not to notice. Slowly, Sonic lifted his head to view Shadow. He even smiled a bit, and this smile was genuine. But his eyes were still so sad yet. Shadow couldn't bear it.

"Sonic?" Shadow dared to ask, leaning forward. "Sonic, are you okay?" He wished with all his heart that he might reach out and touch Sonic. That he might hug him, that he might say it was all okay, and that he would never let anything happen to Sonic again…but the touch of any male that loved him would make Sonic distrusting of that touch, of that love. Shadow knew he had a good reason for feeling thus, but it frustrated him that he could not have Sonic for his own.

And he realized dully to himself that that feeling was what made Sonic afraid. The desire, the lust, for his blue-furred body was what made Sonic so afraid of Knuckles. The sheer strength of the red echidna frightened him, and that strength was lust as much as it was alcohol, in the end. Shadow knew that Sonic feared him, because he was stronger physically. And Sonic knew that Shadow could overpower him, especially as he was now. Sonic was as fearful as he was mesmerized by his black double. And Shadow knew all this.

It took Sonic a long time to answer Shadow's quarry. His smile trembled and faded away in a few moments. "I…I dunno, Shadow. This flu will be the death of me."

So you insist on making that the problem, eh? You stubborn fool. "I can't say the flu is a mild virus," Shadow pointed out, trying to joke with Sonic. But the blue hedgehog refused eye contact then, and did not speak.

"I'm…I'm much too tired to work today," Sonic responded. "I can't." He seemed to plead with Shadow. 'Please, don't make me work!'

"Sonic, I don't care if you don't work." Shadow explained almost dryly. He knew the less emotion he put into his voice, the less Sonic would fear him. Or so he thought. For Shadow's refusing of emotions Sonic knew he felt shocked the blue hedgehog down to his core. "I don't own you." Shadow continued. "Do what you like." He pretended not to care, shuffling his papers.

Sonic turned to look back at him. "Shadow?"

"Yes?" Shadow turned back nonchalantly to look at Sonic, only to find the emerald eyes perusing his of ruby red.

"This…this…" He seemed to be desperately searching for the right words to say. His eyes darted fearfully, but never seemed to waiver their gaze. His body was trembling with the sheer strength and bravery it took to look Shadow in the eye. The ruby gaze, soft as it was, chilled him to the bone. He could only see anger in those eyes, hatred for what the human race had done to his precious Maria. Anger towards a people who had welcomed Sonic—even gone so far as to rescue him from death, when he thought he was going to drown in the sky blue water…forever. That feeling of drowning, that loss of will and air, consumed him now. Sonic felt a clamp around his neck. He could barely breathe. Let me go, he thought. Whatever or whoever's holding me, let me free. Let me go! He took a deep, shaky breath, closing his eyes a moment. It took such great strength of will to open them again. He realized he was very tired. "Shadow," he spoke the dark hedgehog's name tenderly, so that in Shadow grew a flower of hope, hope for the future and for their love. "You…you won't ever let this," he gestured around the room, "fall apart, will you?"

Shadow cocked his head, not understanding at first. Then, he smiled a little crooked smile, and replied very softly. "No. I won't ever let this fall to pieces." For he realized that, for Sonic, the only thing that was stable, that was hard ground right now…was this office, this relationship of patient to therapist, which sometimes echoed an older friendship that had come of the bonds of Chaos, forcing them together in close proximity before Sonic was even born. This…bond, whether formed of Chaos or formed of love of any sort, was stability for Sonic. Everything else was like the water he so feared: unstable, wet, and dangerous.

No souls can make it through

No ground to stand or run

No light can make it through

No speed can break it through

"Never." Shadow added. "As long as I live, I won't ever let this fall apart. I'll be here, always. Waiting--" He wondered than if he had spoke too much. Sonic seemed vaguely afraid, and it seemed he couldn't refuse showing it. His ears fell limp, his eyes grew wide, and he closed his eyes and hid his face in the plush. The sobs began, and his voice was hoarse and so unnatural.

Everything is f'ed up, straight from the heart,

Tell me what do you do when it all falls apart?

Gotta pick myself up, where do I start?

Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart.

"Sonic?" Shadow reached his hand out helplessly. This felt like leaving Maria on the ARK, to be preyed upon by those nasty G.U.N. men.

But why can't I turn to you? Sonic was thinking as he muffled his cries into the plush. It seems like I already have. Why do I feel like…like you already know? And why does that scare me? "Thank you, Shadow," he finally whispered shakily. His eyes were burning from his tears. He was exhausted. His mind could no longer fathom anything, and he remembered only pain and hunger and love for two people. One love that was fading, really. And one that stayed permanent, like stable ground. "Thank you, Shadow," he repeated softly as his heavy body pulled him into a dreamless sleep. "Thank you, for being my stable ground."

I won't watch you fall

Shadow watched as Sonic went to sleep. He felt warmed by Sonic's sentiments, but he was more worried than settled. Sonic relied on him now. And if he did something wrong, well…Sonic's trust in him would be shattered. Worse yet, Sonic would probably fall down deeper into depression and hopelessness.

No sound but the waves of blue

Dancing with the broken things

And Shadow would not let that happen.

Never.

Lyrics for the previous chapter are When It All Falls Apart by The Veronicas.

Lyrics for this chapter are as follows:

No Way Through by Kenichi Tokoi (if you want the song, PM me or review and I'll post the link. You can't buy it on iTunes)

When It All Falls Apart by The Veronicas

Runaway by Down Below