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Chapter 4: Relationships are nuts.

Finn lies on the bed quietly, scared and confused. The two women think silently for a moment as Finn begins to scoot off the bed slowly trying to get away.

"Ok... I have an idea. How about we both date him Marceline? Whoever he chooses, gets to keep him and the other has to go away."

Marceline smirks and thinks for a moment, but then nods. "Alright Bonnie, I agree."

The two women look down towards where Finn was and notice he's not there anymore. They see the door ajar, and growl. They notice Finn on the ground crawling away. The two women grab the teen by both legs and hold him upside down towards their stomach.

"Where do you think your going, hero?" Marceline said with a toothed grin.

Finn struggled in their grasp and managed to get free. He starts running down the ladder, grabbing a robe and running past Jake out into the snow. He just sprints out of the tree house view as both naked women come down.

"Where did he go Jake?"

Jake looked at them and pointed out to the snow, where there are many footsteps imprinted. The two women got dressed and Marceline floats out the door. "He is mine first Bonnibel!" Bubblegum smirked as she called her bird, pushing Marceline down in the snow and hopping on. Marceline stands up and tosses a snow ball to the back of the Princess's head, knocking her off her bird. The two women start throwing snowballs at each other as Jake slinks past them, after Finn.

Finn was hiding out at Tree Trunks place, snacking on a apple pie. He kept quiet as Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig made out in the kitchen. Jake appeared and stretched over to his stressed brother.

"Hey Finn, you a'ight?" Finn shakes his head chewing on the apple pie, swallowing.

"Nah man, women are Ba-nay-nay. What is going on? They both just talked about dating me at the same time, trying to make me choose, yet I never got a say in the matter! What is going on Jake? Bubblegum always denied my advances and Marceline never showed interest! I am so confused!" Jake rubs his chin, thinking about it. "I am not sure bro, but it seems that you have an opportunity for tier sixteen." Before Finn can ask, the two women appear from the tree line. "He is going to be mine Bonnie. Finn always hung out with me!" The two women spot the pair, and stop arguing.

Jake stands up and stretches over to the two women. "What do you girls think you are doing? You are confu-" Marceline transforms into her werewolf form and scares Jake away, watching him shrink into the tree line. "This is all part of my plan Finn!" Finn stares at Jake. "Jake! NOOOOOOO!" The two women grab Finn and take him away, back to the Tree House. They plop him on the couch, locking the doors and windows. "So who is going to be Finn?!" Bubblegum stands in front of him, hands on her hips. Marceline floats over. "Yea hero, who do you want?" Finn scoots away from the women. "What the hell is wrong with you women!" Finn runs off the couch and scrambles up the ladder to his bedroom, as Marceline grabs his leg, pulling him down, forcing Finn to grip onto a tree branch holding on for dear life. Bubblegum pries his hands off and they both put him on the couch, Marceline pinning his legs to the couch, Bubblegum sitting on his hands. "Who do you want hero?!" Finn shakes his head. "I don't know! You both for the longest time have always denied me and now you expect me to tell you who I like?! You people are crazy!"

"Well, that was only because you were too young, I didn't think you wanted to date," Bubblegum said, with a hint of sadness on her face. "WHAT?! I had been asking you to go out with me for, like, two years! Why would you think that I wouldn't want to date?" Finn asks, tears in his eyes. "And you!" He directs his attention at Marceline, "You and your taunting, I can't stand it anymore! So many times that I have been in situations that I had no clue was just a lie, and then you make fun me for not knowing!" He rips his hands and feet out from underneath the two women, his strength coming from his anger. "And now you, BOTH of you! have the nerve to make me 'choose' between the two of you! I'm not sure I want either of you." There was the sound of pure disgust in his voice, which was something that neither Bubblegum nor Marceline had ever think to see from Finn, let alone directed towards either of them. "I, I'm sorry Finn." Bubblegum had her head down, and was staring at the floor. "Yeah, me too," Marceline looked at Finn, "I'm sorry for scaring you and teasing you. It's just that, after like 750 years of being alone and suffering through all that time with no one to be with, it-" Marceline looked away from Finn before she continued, "it felt good to see the suffering of someone else for once. I know it was wrong, but after a while, it began to grow into something else and I realized that the reason I hung out with you was BECAUSE you were able to make me happy, I had finally found someone who was truly for good. You never broke down completely like I did and showed me that there was hope, do you ever think you will ever be able to forgive me?" Bubblegum looked up from the floor, "And I know you wanted to go out with me Finn, but, I denied you because I always have royal business to do. I always looked at you and saw this awesome care free spirit, never worrying about tomorrow; taking things as they come." She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "and when you asked me to go out with you, I always wanted to say yes, oh glob you have no idea how much I wanted to say yes, but I didn't want you to turn into someone like me. I know that sometimes I can seem unthankful for everything that you do for me, but it is only because it is my duty the candy kingdom, and most of the rest of Ooo." She stopped and looks at Finn, Marceline was doing the same. Finn, who was standing in front of the two ladies, felt like there was a battle of the ages going on inside of him. All of the times that he pledged his heart to Bubblegum (only to be struck down with the excuse that he was just a boy), combined with the multitude of cases where Marceline had messed with him and his emotions to the point that he was almost in tears, was fighting with the fact that they only did those things because they had to be done. If Bubblegum had said yes, he would have been tied down to the candy kingdom and be rendered unavailable to the rest of Ooo, and if Marceline hadn't taunted him those years, who knows what she would have done to herself because of her sadness? As he thought about everything that was recently brought made known to him, he sat down between the women and put his arms around them both. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being angry at you guys. I had no idea that you did those things for those reasons." He hugged the two of them close to himself and they hugged back. And just as everyone had begun to calm down, the door to the tree house opened unexpectedly, making all three of them jump. "FINN!," Jake was standing in the open doorway, "Finn, come here, I have to tell you something" Finn looked from Bubblegum to Marceline, "Jake, I'm kind of busy right now," he said as he gestured to the girls beside him. "No, it's really important" And with that, Jake took hold of Finn's arms and pulled him out of the room.

"What the glob man!" Finn threw his hands in the air looking at his grinning brother.

"TIER 16 MAN!" Jake looked at his rather confused brother. Ugh got to dumb it down..

"Date both girls Finn!" Jake hit his brother's arm. "T-I-E-R 1-6" He said very slowly as if he was trying to explain to a 2 year old. Finn still stood there as if he had poor-brain.What does he mean date both girls…he could barely date one.. girls were just as crazy as the Ice King. What the Math was 16 tier anyways "What is tier 16?" Finn turned his head to the side watching as his brother face palmed himself with a look of disappointment. "I just told you man! It is when you date both girls!"

"Ohh…Wait why would I do that?" Jake stretched his arm around his shoulder. "Well you see man you are already tainted by all this. Plus you could be a pimp. Pimpin' ain't easy but it gets all the harlots."

"Oh! Man that would be Math!" Finn shook his brother until a thought hit him "Wait tainted?" He looked questioningly at his bro. "Yeah man you are tainted. You almost got to tier 15 in there with Marceline and Bubblegum."But we were just…"Oh buns!" Finn's mouth turned into a straight black line and his eye brows furrowed. So the girls like me, Jake says I should be a pimp AND he says I'm tainted! What the hell man…IS THE WHOLE LAND OF OOO TURNING CRAZY LIKE THE ICE KING."Yeah man but this pimp business will be good for you. I can see it now." Jake looked up into the ceiling like they would when having flash back in the movies before the mushroom war. "Imma go talk to the ladies." And with that Jake was gone.

So I am a hero, the last human on earth, and now according to Jake I am a pimp. Haha I bet that is one of those word you say a lot and sounds funny Pimp. PIIIMMMPP. P-I-M-P. Wait what exactly is a pimp. Finn was brought out of his thought by the screech by the two girls and the murmurs of Jake trying to console them.

"Ladies, ladies you won't have to fight for him and you will each get a piece of-"That was all he could hear from that.

"Hi Finn." Finn turned around to see BMO standing there. "Oh hey BMO."Maybe he would know what a pimp is.." Something wrong Finn."

"Oh um Jake said I'm going to be a pimp and-"

" I was a pimp once it before I became a detective. Remember when I found your sock Finn, great detective work right?'

"Oh.. yeah sure but what exactly is a-"

"Oh sorry Finn I'm ugh going out with someone tonight ." BMO nudged his leg " Might get to tier 15"

And there goes another person leaving me with un-answered questions. I am suppose to be in tier 16 but I don't even know what's that let alone tier 15. Not only that but WHAT THE HELL IS A PIMP. I guess I will just have to ask Jake to clear this for me when he-

"OH FINN WE MADE AN AGREEMENT!" The two women cried in unison.

What in Glob's name am I in for now? He gathered as much courage as he could muster and made his way back into the bedroom. Jake was nowhere to be see, a open window the only hint to his whereabouts. The two women were standing at the doorway, awaiting the young hero. Before he had any chance to react they had pulled him to the bed and sat him firmly between them.

"W-what did you guys figure out?" Finn said looking down, trying to avoid eye contact with either female as to avoid any chance of confrontation between the two.

"Well, you will be happy to know that we won't be killing each other, or you, anytime soon." Marceline said as she rested her head gently against his shoulder wrapping an arm around him pulling him closer to her.

Bubblegum shot the vampire a dirty look at her display of affection and quickly placed her head on his opposite shoulder, pulling him towards her, mimicking Marcie's affection. "That's right Finn, we worked out something that the two of us could live with... for now"

The two woman glared at each other but restrained from allowing the tension to ruin their explanation.

"We're both going to date you!" Bubblegum shouted, unable to control her volume level as Marceline tried to sneak a quick nip at the hero's ear.

"At the same time!" Marcie added before sticking her tongue out at the princess, clearly enjoying the reaction.

"A-at the same time? So l-like your both my g-girlfriends? I still don't understand any of this junk." A sigh escaped him as he flung himself back on the bed inadvertently bringing the two on top of him.

"You don't sound very happy Finn, I would think getting a chance at two babes would get your blood pumping." Marcie smirked before adding, "Well, one babe and a piece of arm candy"

"Hmph! I'll show you arm candy!" Before her rival could get a word in otherwise Bubblegum crawled on top of Finn, wrapping a arm and a leg around his and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Her sweet tongue exploring his cheeks as she shot the vampire a dirty look.

Not to be out done and far from distraught, as the princess would have hoped, Marcie simply chuckled and pushed her way onto Finn until she had managed her own embrace of the hero. "Make room royal bitch!"

"Marceline what are you-" Bubblegum was cut off by the sudden intrusion of the snake like tongue of Marceline, who chose that tossing the princess off was too much of a hassle. Finn whose tongue had been meekly hiding in the back of his own mouth, was assaulted and brought forward by the second invader who wrapped around his and brought it forward so both women could savor its flavor.

This...this is.. pretty math.

The hero couldn't tell what the plop was going on and was beginning to accept that he probably never would. The heat pouring off the two women as they fought for dominance in his mouth, combined with the two bodies crawling all over him placed him in a sensation his mind could barely handle. He knew he was blushing, he knew he was confused, and he knew he had no control over this situation or relationship, or was it relationships? He sighed heavily as he felt the longing from both women, despite the nasty looks they shoot one another.

Maybe this won't be so bad after all?

Finn passes out under the assault of the two women, after the days events. The two women notice the sleeping hero and snuggle up to him on each side, sleeping in the crook of each arm.