Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Chapter 4.
The next day, the Dursleys had decided to go to London so they could buy Dudley some birthday presents. Since Miss Figg was away for a few days and they didn't trust Harry to be around the house on his own, Uncle Vernon had locked him up in his room with a bit of food and something to drink. Any other time, Harry would have been furious, but right now, he felt grateful; this meant he had the whole day to read his mother's journal.
After he had eaten some breakfast, Harry sat back on his bed and opened the book. He looked quickly through the pages that explained what had happened during graduation, and how Snape and Angela had been married. James and Lily had been there because of James' parents. A month later, the Gryffindor couple had been married too. They had bought a house in the same town as the Snapes so it wouldn't be suspicious if someone saw them walking around. Each night, the men used a private floo to return to their rightful homes.
Harry kept looking through the pages, readying bits and pieces of each entry; he would later read everything but right now he needed answers. Suddenly, the boy stopped at a page written in bright blue letters.
15th December 1979.
I'M PREGNANT! I just found out, I'm so happy. It's a pity Sev won't be back for a few days; I would have loved for him to be the first to know. He has longed to have children for so long. But his latest mission will last several more days, and I couldn't help but tell James and Angela. They were both ecstatic. I hope everything will go alright, now more than ever we need to find something to look forward to, and I hope that our child will help Sev and me to pull through these difficult times.
17th December 1979.
Sev came back sooner than expected, but he was so tired I didn't have the heart to tell him; he looked ready to collapse on the spot. I barely had the time to help him take a shower and get him into bed before he was completely asleep.
This evening Angela came. She had great news; she thinks she might be pregnant too. She hadn't told James yet but wanted me to go to the doctor with her in two days. I'm happy for them, I know her family has been pressing her and Sev for a child. Not that Lucius wouldn't perform his duty, but they want to be safe and have another heir ready just in case something happened to Lucius and his newlywed, Narcissa. I think it's sick, to force your children to have children just for the sake of a name, but oh well, it's their business, as long as Angela doesn't get hurt by it, it will not bother me much.
18th December 1979.
I finally had the chance to tell him today. He returned rather soon from his visit to Hogwarts, and I was already waiting for him at home. At first, when I told him I was pregnant, I was afraid he would be angry; he just had that shocked look on his face. He must have noticed I was about to start crying, because the next moment, he had jumped out of his seat, and I was in his arms while he apologised for being surprised and told me how happy he really was. When we parted, he was smiling happily, and I was finally able to relax, knowing that he wasn't only telling me that to calm me down. After a few more minutes of silence, he started to talk really fast about all we would have to do and how I should be careful. I'm still trying to figure out all he said, the poor man was so happy I had a hard time making him shut up. After that, James and Angela came over to have dinner with us; it's been a long time since I had such a good evening.
19th December 1979.
Today was another perfect day. I went with Angela to the doctor, and as suspected, she is pregnant. Actually, the doctor thinks she's going to have twins. Angela was so happy with the news. She nearly forgot about me on her way to tell James. Luckily, James and Sev were together at our house, and we were able to tell them the good news together. I couldn't help but laugh when James started to jump with Angela all over the room. Sometimes, James and Sev are so much alike it's scary. Not that I would ever dare to tell either.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Harry sighed; it was all so confusing. James and Angela had had children nearly at the same time that his mother and Snape. So now the most important question in his mind was, who were his parents? By his looks, he would guess he was James's son, but then where did the eyes come from? And if that was the case, then where was his mother? And why did Professor Snape, who would be supposed to be his father, hate him this much? Was it because his mother had given her life to save him? Harry shuddered slightly, that would explain a lot. But it didn't really fit. After all, if he had been Angela and James's son, he would have lived with Snape, and certainly not with Lily's relatives. So that meant he was Lily and Snape's son, but that didn't make much sense either. In the first place, he looked like James. Hell, everyone told him he even acted like him. And if that was the case, Snape's behaviour became even more puzzling.
Sighing, Harry turned his eyes to the journal, there was only one way to find out the truth, but he wondered once again if he wouldn't be better off without knowing. Shaking his head, he started to leaf through the pages; he had come this far, now he needed to know all the truth, no matter how horrible.
Quickly he ran his gaze through the pages until he reached the one where he knew he would find the answers he needed.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
30 July 1980
Sev came back home after a week at Voldemort's side. The poor dear was exhausted and extremely concerned about me. He shouldn't be, I'm very careful, and James keeps an eye on both, Angela and me. There's not much time left, I can nearly feel it. Just a few more days and my baby will be born. I hope Sev will be there, I really would hate for our little one to be born when he was not able to be at my side.
4 August 1980
He's here! Our baby boy was born five days ago. He looks a lot like Sev but has my green eyes and it seems he has got my red hair too, even if it's darker. The doctor said that that might change; babies usually have lighter hair and eyes. Then question about names arose. That was another problem we hadn't taken into account. It seems pureblood families have strange ideas about names. James told me that even before my son was born, his name had already been decided. Harold James Potter: Harold, because that's James' father's name, and James because of his supposed father. It's not that I don't like the name, but I would have preferred to be able to name my own child as I wished, even more so because James is not even his father. After a long discussion at my hospital bed, with Angela and Sev who had arrived as soon as everyone else left, it was decided that we would make false birth certificates, not only for our son, but also for James and Angela's children. Once again, being a Malfoy proved to be very useful. I will probably never know how she did it, and I really don't want to know, but within the hour, our child had been named Zachary Severus Snape, as we both had wished. We held a small ceremony in which James and Angela were appointed as the child's godparents. The fake ceremony will take place in a few days, and James has chosen Sirius as the godfather and Arabella as the godmother. Now, the only thing we have to wait about is for Angela's children to be born.
5 August 1980
I'm sitting here, back at my home, with James pacing along the room. Angela went into labour a few hours ago and Sev had to leave with her. James would have loved to go with her, but with all the Malfoy and the Snape family around, it would have been too dangerous.
I know how he feels; I felt the same way when Sev decided it was much too dangerous to come with me to the hospital. I was glad to have James there, but I would have preferred to have Sev at my side.
Sev just called. As the doctor said so many months ago, she had twins. A boy and a girl. Officially, they will be named Darrick Severus Snape and Dalila Angela Snape, but Angela already arranged the official papers, and James and her decided on the names of Heron James Potter and Chiara Angela Potter. Sev and I were appointed as godparents to the two of them; we really couldn't let anyone else into our secret.
Everything is arranged now; the public ceremonies will take place in a few days, and hopefully, we will have some peace.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Harry carefully closed the journal. He didn't need to look into a mirror to know he was deathly pale. The only thought running through his confused mind was that not only Snape was his father, but also that the man hated him. Sure, he had saved him in the quidditch match, but other than that, the Professor had done all he could to make his life a living hell. How could that man be the same his mother described as caring and gentle? And what had he done to not only earn such hatred but also to have to live with his relatives, who despised him?
For hours and hours, Harry stayed still, lying on the bed and trying to come to terms that the dark Potions master was his father.
Finally, he started to move again. He tossed the journal aside and went to the table to get something to eat. He had to do something to take his mind of what he had read.
After he had eaten a few sandwiches and an apple, he picked up the journal again. Sighing, he lay back on his bed and opened the journal. He really didn't want to read more, but knew that he needed to keep going to understand what was happening.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
2 September 1981
The last few days have been devastating. In just a few days our whole world has crashed down around us, and I'm having a very hard time coping with it. It started three days ago, when Death Eaters attacked Snape Manor. They killed Angela and the children disappeared without a trace. James was devastated when he heard; he came to our house immediately, demanding to know if Sev knew anything about it. Severus was as shocked as any of us about the attack. Voldemort hadn't said anything about it to him, and he knew that it either was because Voldemort didn't trust him or one of the death eaters had wanted to take revenge on him. We were just going to talk to Dumbledore when the Dark Lord called Sev, he told us to get going to see the headmaster while he would find out all that he could.
James had been back at home for a few hours when Sev returned with little Chiara asleep in his arms. James rushed to him and took his daughter in his own arms, all the while asking what had happened and where Darrick was. Sev looked at him sadly and went to sit next to me. I still can't believe the tale he told us. It seems that it was all Lucius Malfoy's doing. A few months ago, the Malfoy heir found out he couldn't have children, so he decided that instead of allowing his family to find out, he would take Angela's son as his heir. He tried to convince his sister to hand over her son to him and tell everyone that little Darrick had died, but she refused. It was her death. Lucius took the twins with him and went back home. He gave Darrick to Narcissa and told her to go on a holiday so no one would suspect anything. Since he didn't have any use for Dalila, he just handed her to Sev at the Death Eaters meeting. Voldemort didn't even mind what Lucius had done. Instead, he ordered Sev to kill Dalila so no one would suspect anything. By the time Sev finished his tale, James was clutching his daughter to him. He knew Sev wouldn't harm her, but he also knew he couldn't keep his daughter with him. We talked deep into the night, and in the end, it was decided that we would place little Chiara in a muggle orphanage. No one would suspect Sev to place her in such place, so she would be well protected. To ensure that no one would recognise her, I placed charms on her to hide her identity; after all, she had the typical Malfoy hair, and that would have been a dead give-away. As for Darrick, there was not much they could do. Defying the Dark Lord would only get Sev killed; besides, they knew that no matter what, as Lucius Malfoy's son, Darrick would be protected.
I hope everything works out in the end, there have already been too many deaths, and it sadly doesn't seem like it's going to be stopping anytime soon.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
As sad as it was, Harry couldn't help but bit back a laugh. If he wasn't mistaken, Draco Malfoy was actually Heron James Potter. Ah, the irony! If only he could tell him that to his face. The great Draco Malfoy, the son of a Gryffindor. On the other hand, he had to wonder what had happened to Chiara. After all, if she was a witch, she should be going to school right now, maybe even Hogwarts. He would have to look into it.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
29 October 1981.
The news Sev brought back is troubling to say the least. Voldemort is intending to killing James, Zach, and I. And there's only one thing we can do to keep us safe. Tonight, we'll be going into hiding with Sirius Black as our secret-keeper. There's no other way. I wish Sev could come into hiding with us, but it just can't be done. His work is far too important, and he's needed right now. I don't know when I'll be able to see him again, I don't even know if I'll ever see him again, and it breaks my heart to know that he could die without me knowing. I will have James and Zach with me; he will have no one. I'm scared, but there's nothing anyone can do.
I've decided to leave this journal and everything that binds me to Sev at my sister's house. It's too dangerous to take it with me into hiding and no one will look for it at Privet Drive. I will place charms around the box so that only my son will be able to open this. I don't know what the future holds, but I sincerely hope that my child will be able to grow up in a peaceful time.
My son,
If you're reading this, it means I'm dead and that you survived. I don't know how much you know, I don't even know if your father or your godfather are even alive. Just after we left little Chiara at the muggle orphanage, I placed the same charms on you so you would look like James instead of Severus. The charms will disappear the moment you turn fifteen, and you will once again look like Sev. If your father is still around, please tell him I love him. Stay safe and happy, my child, and know that I'll always be proud of you, no matter what.
Love, your mother.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Tears were falling from his eyes while he re-read the last words his mother had ever written. He knew he would have to read the whole journal again, but as for now, he knew what had happened, and he knew he needed to make a few decisions. The most important was what should he tell his father? Severus Snape hated him; there was no doubt about that. If he told him that he knew the truth, the man would reject him; there was no doubt about that either. He could live with the knowledge that the man hated him, after all, the Dursleys had hated him since he was a child, he was used to it. There really wasn't any sense to tell the man that he knew; it probably would only give his teacher more reason to hate him. Looking back at the book, he sighed and put it back into the box, it had been enough, and he had to forget all this ever happened. Severus Snape would always be his Potions Master and nothing else. Slowly, he put the letters and the pictures back into the box, then he tried to pull the necklace over his head, but something was keeping him from taking it off. After struggling for a few minutes, he gave up, and placed it under his shirt, where he decided it would stay until he found a way to take it of.
Finally, after making sure everything was inside the box, he locked it and put it under the bed. He would have to remember to put it in his trunk as soon as possible.
To be continued.
A/N: Thanks for all reviews and thanks to my beta-reader, Vinnie.
Chapter 4.
The next day, the Dursleys had decided to go to London so they could buy Dudley some birthday presents. Since Miss Figg was away for a few days and they didn't trust Harry to be around the house on his own, Uncle Vernon had locked him up in his room with a bit of food and something to drink. Any other time, Harry would have been furious, but right now, he felt grateful; this meant he had the whole day to read his mother's journal.
After he had eaten some breakfast, Harry sat back on his bed and opened the book. He looked quickly through the pages that explained what had happened during graduation, and how Snape and Angela had been married. James and Lily had been there because of James' parents. A month later, the Gryffindor couple had been married too. They had bought a house in the same town as the Snapes so it wouldn't be suspicious if someone saw them walking around. Each night, the men used a private floo to return to their rightful homes.
Harry kept looking through the pages, readying bits and pieces of each entry; he would later read everything but right now he needed answers. Suddenly, the boy stopped at a page written in bright blue letters.
15th December 1979.
I'M PREGNANT! I just found out, I'm so happy. It's a pity Sev won't be back for a few days; I would have loved for him to be the first to know. He has longed to have children for so long. But his latest mission will last several more days, and I couldn't help but tell James and Angela. They were both ecstatic. I hope everything will go alright, now more than ever we need to find something to look forward to, and I hope that our child will help Sev and me to pull through these difficult times.
17th December 1979.
Sev came back sooner than expected, but he was so tired I didn't have the heart to tell him; he looked ready to collapse on the spot. I barely had the time to help him take a shower and get him into bed before he was completely asleep.
This evening Angela came. She had great news; she thinks she might be pregnant too. She hadn't told James yet but wanted me to go to the doctor with her in two days. I'm happy for them, I know her family has been pressing her and Sev for a child. Not that Lucius wouldn't perform his duty, but they want to be safe and have another heir ready just in case something happened to Lucius and his newlywed, Narcissa. I think it's sick, to force your children to have children just for the sake of a name, but oh well, it's their business, as long as Angela doesn't get hurt by it, it will not bother me much.
18th December 1979.
I finally had the chance to tell him today. He returned rather soon from his visit to Hogwarts, and I was already waiting for him at home. At first, when I told him I was pregnant, I was afraid he would be angry; he just had that shocked look on his face. He must have noticed I was about to start crying, because the next moment, he had jumped out of his seat, and I was in his arms while he apologised for being surprised and told me how happy he really was. When we parted, he was smiling happily, and I was finally able to relax, knowing that he wasn't only telling me that to calm me down. After a few more minutes of silence, he started to talk really fast about all we would have to do and how I should be careful. I'm still trying to figure out all he said, the poor man was so happy I had a hard time making him shut up. After that, James and Angela came over to have dinner with us; it's been a long time since I had such a good evening.
19th December 1979.
Today was another perfect day. I went with Angela to the doctor, and as suspected, she is pregnant. Actually, the doctor thinks she's going to have twins. Angela was so happy with the news. She nearly forgot about me on her way to tell James. Luckily, James and Sev were together at our house, and we were able to tell them the good news together. I couldn't help but laugh when James started to jump with Angela all over the room. Sometimes, James and Sev are so much alike it's scary. Not that I would ever dare to tell either.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Harry sighed; it was all so confusing. James and Angela had had children nearly at the same time that his mother and Snape. So now the most important question in his mind was, who were his parents? By his looks, he would guess he was James's son, but then where did the eyes come from? And if that was the case, then where was his mother? And why did Professor Snape, who would be supposed to be his father, hate him this much? Was it because his mother had given her life to save him? Harry shuddered slightly, that would explain a lot. But it didn't really fit. After all, if he had been Angela and James's son, he would have lived with Snape, and certainly not with Lily's relatives. So that meant he was Lily and Snape's son, but that didn't make much sense either. In the first place, he looked like James. Hell, everyone told him he even acted like him. And if that was the case, Snape's behaviour became even more puzzling.
Sighing, Harry turned his eyes to the journal, there was only one way to find out the truth, but he wondered once again if he wouldn't be better off without knowing. Shaking his head, he started to leaf through the pages; he had come this far, now he needed to know all the truth, no matter how horrible.
Quickly he ran his gaze through the pages until he reached the one where he knew he would find the answers he needed.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
30 July 1980
Sev came back home after a week at Voldemort's side. The poor dear was exhausted and extremely concerned about me. He shouldn't be, I'm very careful, and James keeps an eye on both, Angela and me. There's not much time left, I can nearly feel it. Just a few more days and my baby will be born. I hope Sev will be there, I really would hate for our little one to be born when he was not able to be at my side.
4 August 1980
He's here! Our baby boy was born five days ago. He looks a lot like Sev but has my green eyes and it seems he has got my red hair too, even if it's darker. The doctor said that that might change; babies usually have lighter hair and eyes. Then question about names arose. That was another problem we hadn't taken into account. It seems pureblood families have strange ideas about names. James told me that even before my son was born, his name had already been decided. Harold James Potter: Harold, because that's James' father's name, and James because of his supposed father. It's not that I don't like the name, but I would have preferred to be able to name my own child as I wished, even more so because James is not even his father. After a long discussion at my hospital bed, with Angela and Sev who had arrived as soon as everyone else left, it was decided that we would make false birth certificates, not only for our son, but also for James and Angela's children. Once again, being a Malfoy proved to be very useful. I will probably never know how she did it, and I really don't want to know, but within the hour, our child had been named Zachary Severus Snape, as we both had wished. We held a small ceremony in which James and Angela were appointed as the child's godparents. The fake ceremony will take place in a few days, and James has chosen Sirius as the godfather and Arabella as the godmother. Now, the only thing we have to wait about is for Angela's children to be born.
5 August 1980
I'm sitting here, back at my home, with James pacing along the room. Angela went into labour a few hours ago and Sev had to leave with her. James would have loved to go with her, but with all the Malfoy and the Snape family around, it would have been too dangerous.
I know how he feels; I felt the same way when Sev decided it was much too dangerous to come with me to the hospital. I was glad to have James there, but I would have preferred to have Sev at my side.
Sev just called. As the doctor said so many months ago, she had twins. A boy and a girl. Officially, they will be named Darrick Severus Snape and Dalila Angela Snape, but Angela already arranged the official papers, and James and her decided on the names of Heron James Potter and Chiara Angela Potter. Sev and I were appointed as godparents to the two of them; we really couldn't let anyone else into our secret.
Everything is arranged now; the public ceremonies will take place in a few days, and hopefully, we will have some peace.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Harry carefully closed the journal. He didn't need to look into a mirror to know he was deathly pale. The only thought running through his confused mind was that not only Snape was his father, but also that the man hated him. Sure, he had saved him in the quidditch match, but other than that, the Professor had done all he could to make his life a living hell. How could that man be the same his mother described as caring and gentle? And what had he done to not only earn such hatred but also to have to live with his relatives, who despised him?
For hours and hours, Harry stayed still, lying on the bed and trying to come to terms that the dark Potions master was his father.
Finally, he started to move again. He tossed the journal aside and went to the table to get something to eat. He had to do something to take his mind of what he had read.
After he had eaten a few sandwiches and an apple, he picked up the journal again. Sighing, he lay back on his bed and opened the journal. He really didn't want to read more, but knew that he needed to keep going to understand what was happening.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
2 September 1981
The last few days have been devastating. In just a few days our whole world has crashed down around us, and I'm having a very hard time coping with it. It started three days ago, when Death Eaters attacked Snape Manor. They killed Angela and the children disappeared without a trace. James was devastated when he heard; he came to our house immediately, demanding to know if Sev knew anything about it. Severus was as shocked as any of us about the attack. Voldemort hadn't said anything about it to him, and he knew that it either was because Voldemort didn't trust him or one of the death eaters had wanted to take revenge on him. We were just going to talk to Dumbledore when the Dark Lord called Sev, he told us to get going to see the headmaster while he would find out all that he could.
James had been back at home for a few hours when Sev returned with little Chiara asleep in his arms. James rushed to him and took his daughter in his own arms, all the while asking what had happened and where Darrick was. Sev looked at him sadly and went to sit next to me. I still can't believe the tale he told us. It seems that it was all Lucius Malfoy's doing. A few months ago, the Malfoy heir found out he couldn't have children, so he decided that instead of allowing his family to find out, he would take Angela's son as his heir. He tried to convince his sister to hand over her son to him and tell everyone that little Darrick had died, but she refused. It was her death. Lucius took the twins with him and went back home. He gave Darrick to Narcissa and told her to go on a holiday so no one would suspect anything. Since he didn't have any use for Dalila, he just handed her to Sev at the Death Eaters meeting. Voldemort didn't even mind what Lucius had done. Instead, he ordered Sev to kill Dalila so no one would suspect anything. By the time Sev finished his tale, James was clutching his daughter to him. He knew Sev wouldn't harm her, but he also knew he couldn't keep his daughter with him. We talked deep into the night, and in the end, it was decided that we would place little Chiara in a muggle orphanage. No one would suspect Sev to place her in such place, so she would be well protected. To ensure that no one would recognise her, I placed charms on her to hide her identity; after all, she had the typical Malfoy hair, and that would have been a dead give-away. As for Darrick, there was not much they could do. Defying the Dark Lord would only get Sev killed; besides, they knew that no matter what, as Lucius Malfoy's son, Darrick would be protected.
I hope everything works out in the end, there have already been too many deaths, and it sadly doesn't seem like it's going to be stopping anytime soon.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
As sad as it was, Harry couldn't help but bit back a laugh. If he wasn't mistaken, Draco Malfoy was actually Heron James Potter. Ah, the irony! If only he could tell him that to his face. The great Draco Malfoy, the son of a Gryffindor. On the other hand, he had to wonder what had happened to Chiara. After all, if she was a witch, she should be going to school right now, maybe even Hogwarts. He would have to look into it.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
29 October 1981.
The news Sev brought back is troubling to say the least. Voldemort is intending to killing James, Zach, and I. And there's only one thing we can do to keep us safe. Tonight, we'll be going into hiding with Sirius Black as our secret-keeper. There's no other way. I wish Sev could come into hiding with us, but it just can't be done. His work is far too important, and he's needed right now. I don't know when I'll be able to see him again, I don't even know if I'll ever see him again, and it breaks my heart to know that he could die without me knowing. I will have James and Zach with me; he will have no one. I'm scared, but there's nothing anyone can do.
I've decided to leave this journal and everything that binds me to Sev at my sister's house. It's too dangerous to take it with me into hiding and no one will look for it at Privet Drive. I will place charms around the box so that only my son will be able to open this. I don't know what the future holds, but I sincerely hope that my child will be able to grow up in a peaceful time.
My son,
If you're reading this, it means I'm dead and that you survived. I don't know how much you know, I don't even know if your father or your godfather are even alive. Just after we left little Chiara at the muggle orphanage, I placed the same charms on you so you would look like James instead of Severus. The charms will disappear the moment you turn fifteen, and you will once again look like Sev. If your father is still around, please tell him I love him. Stay safe and happy, my child, and know that I'll always be proud of you, no matter what.
Love, your mother.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Tears were falling from his eyes while he re-read the last words his mother had ever written. He knew he would have to read the whole journal again, but as for now, he knew what had happened, and he knew he needed to make a few decisions. The most important was what should he tell his father? Severus Snape hated him; there was no doubt about that. If he told him that he knew the truth, the man would reject him; there was no doubt about that either. He could live with the knowledge that the man hated him, after all, the Dursleys had hated him since he was a child, he was used to it. There really wasn't any sense to tell the man that he knew; it probably would only give his teacher more reason to hate him. Looking back at the book, he sighed and put it back into the box, it had been enough, and he had to forget all this ever happened. Severus Snape would always be his Potions Master and nothing else. Slowly, he put the letters and the pictures back into the box, then he tried to pull the necklace over his head, but something was keeping him from taking it off. After struggling for a few minutes, he gave up, and placed it under his shirt, where he decided it would stay until he found a way to take it of.
Finally, after making sure everything was inside the box, he locked it and put it under the bed. He would have to remember to put it in his trunk as soon as possible.
To be continued.
A/N: Thanks for all reviews and thanks to my beta-reader, Vinnie.