A Lifetime of Servitudes
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own them.
EDWARD'S POV (CH 4)
I knew Jacob had been hiding things from me, and his attitude just then had proven it, but I didn't have time to worry about it right now. I was going to show my girls how much they meant to me today. As the three of us headed toward the house with Alice, Bella grumbled something about hating surprises. This girl was something else. What girl didn't love presents, and why was it okay with her for Jacob Black to give her presents and not me?
I was brought out of my musing as we came into the backyard of the mansion. I looked over to judge the reactions of my girls as they took in there surprises. Bella gasped as she stopped, slowly looking around at Nessie's playhouse and her matching gazebo. Then Nessie started screaming, bouncing up and down, and pointing at the two horses in the pin that Emmett was still working on.
"Daddy! Did you get us horses, really?" Ness asked, taking off in a sprint before I could catch her. Damn I will never get use to her speed. Emmett grabbed her before she could pounce and spook either of the horses.
"Nessie, you have to be careful with the horses. They may get scared and kick you or something." Emmett told her as he stepped up to the fence allowing her to pet the horse on the side of the neck.
I looked Bella, still standing there in shock. "Love, are you ok?" I asked.
Bella turned her head towards me giving me a soft smile. "It beautiful Edward, everything is beautiful." She whispered as I tool her in my arms to hug her. "You're beautiful." I cooed, as she sighed.
"Would you like to pet the horses too?" I asked.
"Sure, sure" She replied, I had to choke back the venom that rose up in my throat from that response. I hated when she used Jacob's words. I know she is my wife, but he will always be the one that can give her things I can't. He will always be her warm sunshine best friend, and I will always be her cold soulless husband.
We walked hand in hand over to the pin. As we stood there looking at them and watching Ness play with Emmett, I began to notice that Bella's cheeks looked a bit flushed. What the hell is that? She can't flush anymore.
I raised my hand up to her forehead, running my cool fingers across, as I realized she felt warmer than normal. How is that even possible? I would have to talk to Carlisle about that.
After hours of watching Alice and Nessie play in her playhouse, while Emmett and Jasper played football, we decided it was time to get Ness in the bed. I had asked Rose to assist Bella getting Ness ready for bed while I spoke to Carlisle.
"Carlisle, Bella seems to be going through some changes. I've not seen anything like this before, she had a headache this morning when I left the cottage and this afternoon her cheeks were flushed. I felt her face and noticed that her body temperature seems to have gone up some. Have you seen anything like this before? How is it possible?" I questioned him, as I sat drumming my fingers on the arm of the burgundy leather chair I was setting in.
"Son, I have not heard of things as such with our kind, but I will do some research. How is Bella feeling now?" He asked.
"She says she tired and feels as if she could go to sleep." I told him, wondering if she could actually do that.
"Hum, sounds strange, but I would let her do whatever makes her feel more comfortable right now, until we find out what is happening. I will put a call into Eleazar and see what he says." He told me picking up his phone to place the call.
I got up headed toward my girls. I was anxious to get Bella back to our cottage, I wanted to hold her. So after I asked Esme if she would watch Nessie tonight, I ran home with Bella by my side. There was so much going on with emotions lately, I felt as if I was losing her.
Bella was constantly asking about her memories, it was really bothering her for some reason. She had known from talking with my family that it was normal, and better that way. I had told her that everyone she knew and loved from her human life would be dead in a decade anyway, and the memories would only cause her more pain.
But she had argued with me saying not everyone would be dead, and by that comment I took it that she was speaking of Jacob and the pack, so I dropped the subject. When it came to Jacob I knew I could never win this argument with her. He was a constant thorn in my side, not only had he been the other love in Bella's life, but now he had imprinted on my Nessie.
Although he didn't quite act the way that Sam or Quil acts with the imprints, he was still around all the time. I have often wondered if the difference was because Ness is a hybrid, or if it was hard for him to show his connection with her because Bella was around.
Seth shows more of a connection with Nessie than Jacob does, but I can't complain, I have seen firsthand that Jacob would go to his death to protect her and her mother. I guess that is one reason I put up his ever so sarcastic attitude he has with me. The thing that really bothers me the most, is that after he spent the day hanging out with Emmett, he came back knowing how to block me from his thoughts.
And whatever the two of them had discussed that day in the woods was never thought about from Emmett, so I still don't know what Jacob is hiding. Emmett and Jacob had slowly become the best of friends, at times I had wondered if my brother had to choose who to back up, if it would still be me.
Emmett and Jacob were alike in so many ways; they were both very outgoing and never held their tongues. The two of them worshiped my wife and daughter, and lived to pester Bella, just so they could set back and watch her take it out on me.
I had also begin to notice that anytime either of them were around and I would try to snuggle up to, or kiss Bella, they would make some sort of comment to embarrass her so she would push me away. And when we would put Nessie down at night, it seemed that Bella would always find something to keep her busy when she wasn't setting with Nessie through her bad dreams. I found myself lonely and craving her attention more and more these days.
Nessie's dreams were something of a concern to me, she would always show me what it was she had dreamed that scared her, and it was always the same. Bella would be human and dressed in a long flowing silver dress lying on the wet snow, bleeding to death and no one could get to her to help. She had her shield up which was blocking entrance to her. A part of me wanted nothing more than to dismiss this dream, because Bella was not human and her shield didn't work that, but a bigger part of me was worried.
As Bella came to halt right outside of our cottage, I was brought out of my babbling thoughts. I looked over at my beautiful wife as she stood there starring up at the moon. God she is so beautiful moonlight in the moonlight.
"Love, is there something wrong?" I asked as she raised her right hand and wiped at her eyes. What is she doing?
Bella turned back to look at me smiling, as I caught a glimpse at what she was wiping from her eyes. "No Edward, nothing is wrong. The moon is just full and beautiful tonight, don't you think? It reminds me of something, but I can't pin point what it is." She whispered.
I reached over to wipe her eyes; I had to feel what I thought I was seeing. Tears, how does she have tears?
"Isabella, you're crying." I simply stated in shock.
Bella wiped one more tear from her eye and held it out to the silvery moonlight smiling. "Mmhum, it would seem that way, wouldn't it?"
I took her in my arms bridle style, holding her against my chest tightly as I carried in to our home. I was really beginning to worry for my wife, and had no idea what was going on. As I lay her down on our bed I noticed the missed call light flashing on my phone. Picking it up and realizing who the call had been from reminding me of the secret I had been keeping from Bella.
I didn't want to keep secrets to from her, but it was better this way. Bella had always scolded me for hiding things from her, but it was with good intentions. The last time she busted me hiding things from her she had told me never again, or she would leave me. But this was something that would hurt so much more than her leaving me while she calmed down. I would keep this secret as long as I could to protect her from this kind of pain. After all I have heard humans say quite often, that the road to hell was paved with good intentions, and mine most definitely is just that.
"Edward, who called?" Bella asked, as she propped herself up on her elbow looking at me concerned.
"No one Love, I think it might have been a wrong number." I told her, turning my phone off and going to lie beside her. I grinned as she let me wrap my arms around her and pull her in to me. Bella was actually going to allow me to hold her; she must really be feeling bad.
After a few minutes of listening to the creatures of the night crawl around outside of our window, my vampire ears picked up on a new sound, one I had not heard since the day that Nessie had been born. I pulled myself up, glancing over at Bella's face and she was a sleep and snoring lightly. How the hell? What in the hell is going on with her?
I kissed her softly on the cheek so not to wake her as I pulled my arm out from under her head. I got up slipping my shoes back on, grabbed my phone and headed outside to call Carlisle.
"Carlisle, we have some new developments with Bella. She had tears in her eyes tonight and she is sleeping right now. What the hell is going on with her?" I pleaded.
"Son, I have been doing some research but I haven't found out anything as of yet. Don't cause her any stress, just let her feel whatever she is right now." He told me sounding more frustrated than I did, as I heard Emmett speak up in the background... "What the fuck is wrong with Bella?"
I didn't want to deal with his overly protective bullshit where my wife is concerned at the moment, so I just sighed and hit the end button on my phone. Next scrolled through to find her number and hit call.
"Hello" She answered sounding so tired and in pain. I felt so bad for her right now and really wanted to be there to help, but I couldn't I was needed here with Bella.
"Hi, I'm sorry I missed your call. How are you felling right now?" I asked, hoping to hear some good news for once.
"Oh it's just the same ole same ole around here, I was just bored and lonely, you said I could call anytime was that okay?" She nervously asked.
"Yes, it was fine, I'm just sorry I missed the call." I said.
"So how is Bella doing right now?" She curiously asked me and in that very moment, I wanted to tell her everything, but I knew I couldn't.
"Alice called me earlier today, and I received all the beautiful roses you sent me. Edward they are amazing!" She cooed, trying to sound excited. But I knew she couldn't, she was in too much pain for that.
"Well I think Alice and Jasper are planning to come and visit you soon, is there anything you need? I would be more than happy to send it with them." I asked, knowing she would tell me no anyway.
"Edward, how many times must I tell you that I don't want or need anything? I have told you before and I will tell you again, I am not about material objects, I only require love and friendship at this point in my life." My new friend grumbled as she winced in pain.
"Please, if there is anything at all, anything, don't hesitate to call me. I will let you go rest now; it's awfully late for you to be awake now." I told her, hoping she didn't make a habit out of taking away from her resting times. She really needed her rest more and more these days.
I went back to my room and sat at the desk watching Bella's beautiful sleeping form. How do I tell her something like this? If she finds out that I hid this from her, she will never forgive me. Hell who am I kidding; she's never going to forgive me anyway. I just hope that I don't lose her when everything is said and done.
The sun had started to rise by the time Bella had begun to stir in her sleep; she had slept sound all night. Bella had never slept so sound during the human years of her life. Hearing her sigh, I quickly moved to the bed wrapping her in my arms, stroking her face. "Good morning, Love." I whispered, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.
"Hum, good morning Edward." She whispered back as she pulled herself out of my arms and got up out of the bed heading toward the kitchen.
"Love, where are you going? Ness is not here to fix breakfast for."I asked, confused.
"I'm hungry Edward." Bella stated as if she had not just said something strange to me.
I jumped up following her out into the kitchen, watching her as she removed the bacon and eggs from the fridge. "Bella are you serious, you're going to eat that?" I pleaded.
"Yes Edward, why? If you have a problem with this, then go out or something. I don't mind being alone for awhile, as a matter of fact, I think I might prefer that right now." She said, sounding irritated at me again. What had I done to her this time?
"Isabella, I don't feel comfortable with leaving you alone right now. You have been acting rather strange lately, and I am worried about you." I told her, knowing I would give in to her if she really wanted me to leave. I had already learned my lesson with pissing the new Bella off. Temperamental, newborn, Bella was nothing to mess around with.
Smiling evilly at me she slammed the frying pan down on the stove top, bending the handle in the process. "Edward, I am not acting strange and I don't need a babysitter! Now do me and you both a favor and go play with Ness for awhile, I will run over there when I am done eating."
After kissing her cheek, I turned and walked away. I could feel her slipping from me slowly everyday and it was driving me crazy, there was nothing I could do. I talked with Carlisle upon entering the house, to tell him of her attitude this morning and he was just as much a loss with words as I was. Bella had us all puzzled to know end.
I decided to give up on trying figuring out what was going on with her for the day; I just wanted to spend time with my girls having fun. So after Alice helping me to get Nessie ready, Esme packed a picnic lunch for us. I was going to convince Bella to let me take her and Ness out for a ride on the horses to our meadow.
I was sitting there watching Emmett play with Ness when Ali plopped down next to me, eyeing me angrily.
"Edward, when are you going to tell Bella?" Alice questioned.
"I'm not if I can help it! Alice, you know this will only hurt and cause her to worry about something she has no control over. How can I do that to her?" I pleaded.
In the next second I became aware of three voices coming at me all at once.
"Edward, you need to tell Bella!" Alice yelled.
"Tell Bella what?" Emmett angrily questioned.
"Yeah, tell me what?" Bella asked, as she walked through the back door.
"Oh shit" I whispered.