Disclaimer;I do not own Merlin

Arthur woke up feeling well-rested, and relaxed. Until he remember the conversation he and Merlin had last night. He knew Merlin was keeping a secret. I mean, how did a lazy servant save his life many times? He was going to ask Gaius, he was terrible at keeping secrets.

'You save Arthur's life almost weekly, and he knows nothing of it, and you take no credit for it whatsoever.' the words swirled around Arthur's head.

Quickly striding down to Gaius's and Merlin's chambers, he entered to find Gaius making some sort of potion, and Merlin wrapped up in a blanket next to a measly fire, holding a steaming cup of tea.

Gaius turned to look at Arthur, obviously surprised said 'Oh, sire, is there anything you need?'

Arthur looked at Gaius, then looked at Merlin. Merlin was very pale, it looked like he was going to throw up again. He was looking at Gaius and looked very worried.

'Yes, could I speak to you in private Gaius?' Arthur said

'Yes sure, here we can speak in Merlin's room'

Merlin watched them both as they walked into his room. Closing the door after them. Merlin knew exactly what he was going to ask him. And he didn't want to be there when it all kicked off, so he put on his coat and left quietly.

Arthur started the conversation. He decided to start a little off subject, and then lead to the one question he wanted answered.

'I was just wondering what caused Merlin's fainting spells and seizures?'

'Ah, well, he wasn't eating nor sleeping properly and combined with stress, his body couldn't cope, so his body just shut down, and it slowly got worse. But I promise it won't happen agai-'

'What was he stressed about?'

Gaius stumbled. 'Er, well, you see... er, he had a lot on his mind'

'You haven't answered my question'

Gaius fell silent, not sure what to say

But Arthur continued 'Look, when he woke up yesterday, I overheard you speaking. I heard you saying how he has saved my life weekly and that I had no idea. Could you please explain to me Gaius what you meant?'

After a pause he spoke, 'I think Merlin is the one to tell you, sire'

'But he won't. I've already asked'

'Go and ask him now, I'm sure he will'

Arthur nodded, and walked into the other room to find it empty.

'He's not here Gaius, where could he have gone?'

Gaius thought for a minute. 'Try the east wing of the castle, the top of the tower. He likes to go there sometimes, he likes the view.'

Arthur never knew this. He thanked Gaius and went to find him. He found him where Gaius said he would be. He was leaning against the edge of the wall, looking over Camelot, in deep thought.

'Merlin' Arthur said in that tone he used when he was annoyed with him.

Merlin jumped out of his skin 'Oh, sire, how did you find me here?'

'Gaius told me you'd be here... he also told me that you'd tell me what he was going on about when you woke up after your seizure'

There was a pause. 'I'll tell you, its just that I don't want you to think of me any differently'

'Ok, tell me. Honestly Merlin, I don't get why this is such a big secret-'

'Because..' He took a big breath, he face was pale, his forehead was dripping with sweat and he was visibly shaking.

He continued 'Arthur, I'm.. I'm, well-'

'Go on spit it out Merlin'

There was another silence before Merlin spoke.

'I'm a warlock, I have magic.'

There was a silence which stabbed Merlin like a knife.

'Merlin, why would you say that? You don't-'

'Look. Beale en Burner'

His eyes turned golden as a pile of dried up leaves burst into flames. Arthur's eyes widened before he spoke.

'Leave me' Arthur said tiredly, Merlin looked at him in despair, before running off with tears rolling down his eyes.

Arthur made his way down to his chambers, and slouched on his chair. His head was spilling. He felt drunk. After everything they'd been through together, he kept that big secret from him. Betrayed him. Lied to him. He felt sick. Then there was a knock at the door, he couldn't believe it when Merlin walked through the door.

'I've come to explain'

'Explain what?! How you lied to me, betrayed me, and I thought we were friends, I thought I had your trust!'

'You do have my trust, did you really expect me to come clean to the king of Camelot who has banned magic on punishment of death? Please don't tell me you would, because we both know you wouldn't. After the conversation you'd heard from Gaius, surely you should be wondering exactly how many times I have saved your lif-'

'All of that means nothing to me, because you are the first person I actually trusted fully with my life. You were my first true friend. And all this time you've been lying to me. You mean nothing to me.'

As soon as Arthur had said that last sentence, he regretted it. He didn't mean it, he was just so full of anger. Merlin looked so hurt, he stepped back.

'Well, sire, I can assure you that I will be a burden no more' And with that Merlin turned and ran off, tears burning his cheeks.

Arthur felt terrible, and after thinking everything through in a short 2 minutes, went after him, only to bump into Gaius. Gaius pushed him back into his room and started to rant at him.

'After everything Merlin has done for you, you reject him. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep it a secret. He wanted to tell you so much, but he knew deep down you would react like this. I have just seen him run past me in absolute tears, I've never seen anyone so distraught. You Arthur Pendragon, do not see a true friend even if he is standing right in front of you!'

'I know Gaius, I have made a terrible mistake, I was just angry, please let me go make it up to him'

'Go, and quickly, before he does anything stupid, I don't want him having another seizure!'

And with that Arthur ran to the east wing of the castle, and up the tower, in search of his true friend, Merlin. When he got to the top, breathless, to his horror, found Merlin standing of the wall edge, ready to jump.

'No Merlin! Stop, please, I'm so sorry!'

Merlin didn't even turn, he kept looking down.

Merlin said, almost tiredly 'I won't be a burden on you anymore. I've given up. All that hard work and stress to save your life, and you throw it back in my face.'

'Merlin I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it-'

Merlin cut in 'I've lost so many friends, Freya, my father. ALL BECAUSE OF ME!'

Merlin broke down into sobs, his shoulders slumped. Arthur started to walk slowly towards him.

'Merlin, please get down, you're worrying me. Please' He started to cry. 'I don't know what I would do without you. I certainly won't me alive by the sounds of things...'

Merlin turned around. He was going to pass out. Arthur jumped forward and grabbed Merlin's hips, dragging him down onto the floor. Merlin landed on the floor, and Arthur held him down, not letting go whilst Merlin struggled against him. Then without warning, Merlin went limp in his arms, and started to shake all over. Arthur picked him and ran as fast as he could to Gaius's chambers. Gaius wasn't there, so he lay him on the floor (he would've fallen off the bed if he was put there, he was fitting so strongly) and waited for his episode to past. Gaius came in when his seizure began to stop, and looked at Arthur for an explanation.

'He was on the top of t-the t-tow-tower and then he was g-going to j-ump and-' Sobs interrupted Arthur's speech, and Gaius shushed him, and gave him a knowing nod.

'Arthur you must res-'

'No! I'am staying here till he wakes up, I owe him that much and he would do the same for me'

'Ok sire, please just sit or lie down, whilst I see to Merlin'

Gaius turned and got to work on Merlin, whilst Arthur drifted off on Gaius's bed.