Chapter 3 (Relationship Remix) is mostly a gateway chapter. I wanted to combine it with Chapter 4 (Day One), but it would end up being too long and too diverse so I split them up.

Please remember to review! Enjoy and happy reading!

REWRITE: I did a rewrite of the very last bit of the previous chapter to fix some issues. Please take the time to read it and the author's note at the bottom of the previous chapter because it is a fairly important change!

IMPORTANT: I realize there are concerns about the Hiccup-Astrid-Heather 'love triangle' and how it gets in the way of the Hiccstrid. I believe that this is a result of my lack of experience (this is my first story!). I never actually intended for a 'love triangle' to form, so you can blame it on bad/misleading writing or whatever else. I need you guys to know that there isn't going to be anything romantic between Hiccup and Heather, but I am not going to cut off their friendship. There is another reason for Heather's involvement in the story and close friendship with Hiccup which will be revealed later when the time is right. What I can tell you is that it stems from Hiccup's personality-trait that results him in helping everyone he can, sometimes at cost to himself.

Review Responses:

Too lazy 2 login: I apologize for any misleading writing that caused you to feel this way. This is in fact a Hiccstrid and anything that indicates a relationship between Heather and Hiccup was accidental and superficial. My note expresses my feelings on this topic and I have taken actions to rectify the situation.

CajunBear73: Astrid definitely harbors at least a tiny bit of sympathy for Hiccup. The problem is that Astrid doesn't really know how she feels about Hiccup and is blinded by her feelings about the arranged marriage. Regardless, this is Astrid we are talking about and she will put her duty to Berk before her feelings. Heather and Astrid are basically sisters. That being said, Heather may move towards Astrid in this situation, due to that sisterly bond. Also, this wasn't clear in the story but Hiccup wears his façade for everyone, including Heather. They just have had more interactions.

De Amicus: Thanks again for catching that in the last chapter and for everything else we talked about!

JustANormalHTTYDFan: Thank you! I am trying my best to keep this interesting and original.

Bloodangel101: Thanks! Here you go!

Vin: 'Anger and axe', I love it! I wanted to show that it was possible that Astrid may have harbored some feelings towards Hiccup, even if she didn't know herself. We both have wait and see for Snotlout. I know how I want to put him in, just struggling with the where right now.

P-Artsypants: Thanks! If I'm perfectly honest, I am also not a fan of a love triangle. I think my note on the subject explained my feelings fairly well. It was just an unfortunate consequence at a bad attempt to add drama on my end and it got out of hand. We all know who wears the pants in Astrid and Hiccup's relationship! I needed to show Astrid's softer side, especially in regards to Hiccup. The old scene just didn't fit.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the How to Train Your Dragon franchise, including the characters, settings, plots, themes, etc. from said franchise. I do, however, own this story and the unique characters, settings, plots, themes, etc. contained in this story that do not appear in the franchise as of the date of this publishing, unless otherwise indicated.

Chapter 3

Relationship Remix

» Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III «

After Astrid left, Hiccup took a moment to collect himself, quite relieved that she hadn't done any lasting damage. He did pause to count his extremities several times, not quite believing they were all intact. Upon exiting the forge, the town around him had become barren and quiet. The entire village had assembled in the Great Hall to answer the summons and only a few stragglers remained. He quietly ducked behind a pair of Vikings making their way to the gathering and attempted to make himself small and inconspicuous. It was actually pretty easy since no one really cared enough to notice him in the first place.

"So, Mulch. What do you think is 'appenin' now?" Hiccup overheard the taller villager, who wore a bucket on his head, ask his stockier friend.

"I dunno, Bucket." The man named Mulch responded, "Maybe it's 'bout the Chief."

Hiccup had no need to speculate and tonight's topic of discussion was not something he was looking forward to. Upon reaching the massive doors of the Great Hall, he took in a deep breath to steel himself before stepping through. Spitelout and Gobber stood at the head of the crowd, trying to control the masses. All throughout the room, Vikings were questioning one another in attempts to find out the reason for the meeting. Some surmised that it was about the Chief's condition and others assumed it was about the upcoming Devastating Winter. One particular Viking was overjoyed because he thought the town's leadership had remembered that it was his birthday. Not a single guess that reached Hiccup's ears came close to the truth. Oh, boy, were they in for a surprise. Looking around, he saw his cousin standing in a group of the more Viking-like teens and, also, spotted Gunnar and Ingrid Hofferson in the front row. But where was Astrid?

"Silence!" Spitelout commanded to the assembly. Immediately the room fell quiet and all eyes turned to the general. "First thing's first. As many of you already know, Stoick was gravely injured during the last raid and could not make the meeting." A collective gasp filled the room. "He is alive but will not be able to perform his duties while in recovery. At Stoick's request, the council has appointed Gobber as acting Chief and I have temporarily been granted all military and defense oversight."

Gobber took the floor and picked up from Spitelout's introduction. "I know all of you are worried about Stoick-"

"I'm not!" A crinkly voice cried out.

"Oh, shaddup, Mildew. Yer hut is already on the other side of the island, so unless you want to wake up on a sea stack tomorrow, stow it." Gobber spitefully forced the old man down. "Anyways, before I were so rudely interrupted…Stoick has entrusted me and 'Lout with the safety of Berk. If there are any problems come to one of us. This is for serious issues only. I don' care if somebody stole your sweet-roll. And if I hear even a rumor that someone be botherin' Stoick, I'll be given 'em lessons on how to put on their skivvies with one hand…if ya know what I mean."

There was a room full of nods and numerous prayers were made for the quick recovery of the Chief…and to never come near Gobber's skivvies.

"Attention!" Spitelout yelled, calling for order.

"Now there is one more thing on the agenda. Erm…Gunnar, you wanna take this one?" Gobber conceded.

Hiccup watched an unmistakable grin spread on Gunnar Hofferson's face as he paced to the head of the group. "Thank you, Gobber." He said with a nod before turning to address the gathered Vikings. "It brings me great sadness that Stoick was unable to deliver the announcement to you himself, as I am sure he is overjoyed with the news." He paused to scan the room, focusing on someone on the far side, "Ah, there you are lass. Would you come up here?"

Following Gunnar's gaze, Hiccup spotted Astrid standing next to a very confused Heather. He watched the blonde shift her way through the sea of Vikings. Any indication of her earlier fury had been erased, replaced by a cool façade. Upon reaching her father's position, she just stared straight ahead – calm, unblinking, emotionless. He was so engrossed in her changed behavior that he didn't register that Gunnar was now turned towards him.

"Hiccup! You, too. Make haste, son."

Ignoring the silent murmurs, he started towards the front. There was a noticeable shake in his body, but he forced it down, trying to copy Astrid's demeanor. He refused to embarrass her in front of the entire town, at least no more than the announcement would.

When Hiccup reached his destination, Gunnar put an arm around each of the 'happy' couple. "It is with great happiness and pleasure that I announce that the marriage of Astrid Hofferson, my beautiful daughter, to Hiccup Haddock, the heir to Berk, will take place this Friggasday."

Chaos ensued. Some were wholeheartedly cheering, not for Hiccup and Astrid, but for the grand feast that accompanied the wedding of an heir. Others were aghast, trying to figure out how anyone would be mad enough to marry Hiccup. A few offered condolences to the girl and spat insults at the boy. There was even a bit of crying, given the prospect of a wedding. Although, none were crying as loud as Snotlout, who felt betrayed and mistreated at the loss of his 'beloved' to his cousin. He would have to keep an eye on Snotlout, afraid that the larger teen might attempt something irrational. Hiccup was beyond grateful that Astrid kept her professional demeanor in face of all the abuses thrown his way and the words of sympathy thrown hers. He already felt terrible, so at least she wasn't adding to it.

Suddenly, Hiccup and Astrid found themselves face-to-face with one Tuffnut and Ruffnut Thorston. The Thorston twins were among those in the couple's age group and did not relent from ridiculing Hiccup. If that wasn't bad enough, they were also well-known pranksters and the runty heir always found himself at the top of their hitlist.

Ruffnut spoke first, directing her words towards Astrid. "Oh, my gods, Astrid. I can't believe you're gonna be marrying Chief Loser over here."

"Yeah!" Tuffnut picked up, "At least tell us it was arranged so we know to feel sorry for you."

"Uh, hello! Standing right here." Hiccup complained. The twins' assault was not helping his already shattered confidence.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Both Thorstons shot at him. Hiccup just stared at the ground, knowing that the twins were right. There was nothing he could do.

Ruffnut turned back to Astrid. "Hey, if this doesn't work out, let us know. Who knows? A tragic accident could befall the groom." She sneered.

Tuffnut bowed, "Our Loki-blessed skills are at your disposal."

The insinuation was clear, the two were offering to spring one of their deadlier 'pranks' on Hiccup. As soon as they had mentioned it, Astrid's signature death glare was back, but it was directed towards the brother and sister. "I suggest you two imbeciles move along before 'a tragic accident' befalls you." She growled at them through clenched teeth.

The two twins got the message and scampered away, muttering to themselves. "What a jerk, threatening us after we offered our unique services."

Hiccup was in shock. Astrid had just defended him. Right? No that couldn't be right, why would she do that? She hated his guts and definitely did not want to marry him. Though, earlier, she did say she wasn't going to kill him. Hiccup risked a glance at the girl. "Erm…Astrid?" He winced as her name left his mouth.

The blonde swung her head around to look at him, death glare and all. "What?"

"Uh…thanks…for, you know…" Hiccup could have sworn a little bit of red appeared on her face.

"Shut up!" She spat, immediately turning away.

The crowd had started to disperse as the meeting came to an end. Astrid had left his side and was storming through the exit, an even more confused Heather in tow. He decided to follow her lead and make himself scarce, but, unfortunately, Gunnar Hofferson was blocking his escape.

"Walk with me, will ya, lad?" Gunnar requested.

Hiccup realized that refusing his soon-to-be father-in-law was not the best way to start his marriage. "Of course." he answered, following the man outside. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"You know as well as I do that your father is a great Chief, one of the best that Berk has seen."

"But?" Hiccup prompted.

"But…I know that he can be – how do I put it? – unsupportive in his role as a parent at times."

Hiccup was flabbergasted, no one had ever said anything of the like before. "You got that right." he responded, trying to stay cool.

"It's not his fault, Hiccup. I've known your father my entire life and I know that he loves you. Something changed in him the night Valka died. He shut himself off from everyone, including you, when he needed us all the most. Even to this day, he struggles with his emotions and communicating with you."

Hiccup stiffened at his mother's name. He never really knew her as she was taken from him when he was still a baby. "He is Chief Stoick the Vast. The only emotion he has is anger."

"That's what he wants you to think, son. He is afraid that if he opens himself up again, he will be just be torn apart all over. This applies especially to you. I mean, look at you, you're the spitting image of Valka. You remind him too much of her."

"And how do you know all of this?"

"You and I are more alike than you realize, Hiccup. We are both observers. We watch the world around us, taking in the details. We think before we act. You may not accept it, but it is true. And like I said, I have known you father my entire life and I have watched him struggle for the last fourteen years."

"What are you saying?" Hiccup was dumbfounded and unsure with that to do with all the information.

"Well, now that you will be wed to my daughter…" Gunnar paused, watching a huge blush blossom across Hiccup's face. He continued with a smile, "…I will not only be her father, but yours as well. So, if you need advice, you can always turn to me. But you cannot forget about your own father. Stoick loves you a great deal and just has a hard time showing it. No matter what he says or does, you need to always remember that."

Hiccup just stared at the man, still red with embarrassment. Gunnar had just ripped open his entire relationship with Stoick in a matter of minutes. And on top of that, he had offered Hiccup a source of fatherly advice which he wasn't able to secure with his own. The Hofferson may have just topped even Hiccup in the un-Viking-like gestures championship.

Gunnar quickly picked up on Hiccup's difficulty at processing all the information and moved to end the conversation. "No need to say anything more. I've said my piece and I trust you were paying attention." With that he nodded once and walked away.

Hiccup, now alone, ran the nights events through his head, still not believing that things hadn't turned out worse. He had been expecting a riot or, at the very least, an angry mob. For one, it was quite a relief that Astrid wasn't out for his blood, and maybe he had misjudged her discourse towards him. She had defended him in front of the twins, of that there was no longer any doubt in his mind. And then there was that redness on her face that appeared after he thanked her. Was it anger? Embarrassment? A blush? The only way he could know for sure was if he asked her, and, by Odin, that was not going to happen. What still completely baffled him was the conversation with Gunnar. Somehow, Gunnar managed to lay out all the details of Hiccup's relationship with Stoick, most of which Hiccup didn't know himself. Everything that had been said was spot on and he was only now realizing this.

"Ugh…why does everything have to be so complicated." The boy complained, massaging his temples. The day's events had left him exhausted, but his father was still expecting him to discuss the preparations for the coming week. "Well, might as well get it over with," He muttered to himself.

Upon arriving in House Haddock, Hiccup shrugged off his brown vest and replaced the charred wood in the fire pit. After the flame grew to a reasonable size, he set up three servings of mutton – two for his father and one for himself – and let them slowly cook. It would take a little while to fully cook the raw meat, so he went and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Enter." Stoick answered. The man was now sitting up, and some of the life had returned to his face.

"Hey, Dad. It's me. I set some mutton on the pit."

"Ah, mutton! The food of real Vikings!" The man had a strange obsession with mutton. It was the only thing he would eat!

"If you say so."

"How'd it go?"

"Uh…okay, I guess. Gunnar made the announcement. There was a lot of noise and the Thorston twins…congratulated…us." Hiccup lied, not keen to go into details. And there was no chance in Hel that he would bring up the conversation with Gunnar.

"That's good. I'm sorry I couldn't announce the engagement myself, son. I wanted to! I really did! But every single time I tried to get out of the bed, Gothi would smack me with that Thorforsaken stick of hers."

Hiccup let out a weak chuckle, having paid enough visits to Gothi to get his own set of smacks. "It's okay, probably wouldn't have made too big of a difference." Hiccup lied again, knowing that he would have received less verbal abuse if the Chief had been there.

"Alright. So, tell me, what do you know of the marriage preparations and rituals."

"Not too much, just what I have seen. Exchanging of swords, drinking the special mead, and what-not." Hiccup had been present at the tinier weddings on Berk. He was required to attend, being the Chief's son, but it was still clear that no one wanted him.

"Aye. That's a small part of it, but, as you know, being my heir means that your marriage is a grand event. The whole of Berk will attend along with delegations from our friends and allies. It's a big deal."

"Maybe it's too big of a deal. You know, with Devastating Winter coming around the corner, we really don't need to be wasting food." Perfect, he would not only embarrass Astrid in front of all of Berk, but in front of several neighboring tribes as well.

"Ha-ha-ha," Stoick bellowed, "you keep working on that humor, son! Since this is such a large event, there are a lot of things to take care of. And there many things that you are responsible for."

Stoick went on for what seemed like an eternity listing all of Hiccup's duties leading up to and during the wedding. Some of the things were fairly simple such as procuring a morning gift and the wedding bands and Hiccup was certain he could utilize his forging skills. But, of course, this was a Viking wedding, so there remained several Viking-like and insane tasks as well. For instance, Hiccup was to bury a sword into the Great Hall and the depth would determine the couple's future fortune. The only issue was that he could barely lift a sword, let alone put it through a wooden beam. If that wasn't already a huge problem, an ancestral sword was required for the ceremony. When presented like that, it didn't seem too bad, but the sword in question was still with Hiccup's grandfather, in his grave, six feet under. Stoick had little faith that Hiccup could accomplish the retrieval and made a point of telling Hiccup that he could just slap the Haddock crest on any old sword to pass it off as the real deal. In defiance, the boy promised himself he would acquire his grandfather's sword; he knew that Astrid didn't want this wedding, but he would do everything to make sure it was perfect for her.

"Is that all?" Hiccup asked sarcastically.

"No…erm…there is one more thing."

He sighed. "Okay, go on. I'll add to the list."

"There remains the matter of the consummation."

Hiccup simultaneously turned red and flushed. His body unable to decide what emotion it should express. "The what?" He squeaked.

"The consummation. After the ceremony, an audience will accompany you so we can-"

"Stop!" Hiccup was frantic. "No. No, no, no! We are not doing that!"

"It's tradition." Stoick insisted.

"It's barbaric!" Hiccup shot back.

"We're Vikings."

Hiccup facepalmed. "Yes, that much is very clear! Okay, you know what? Go ahead and make Snotlout heir and me his slave. There is absolutely no chance that I'm going to do…that…in front of an audience." There was no way. It wasn't going to happen. Hiccup would rather die.

"Heed your words, boy."

"Look, so far, I have done what you asked and promised to go through with this whole mess. But I am not going to…consummate," he spat the word, "with half of Berk watching me."

"It won't be half of Berk! Just me, Spitelout, probably Gobber, Gunnar, Ingrid, Gothi, then there's-" he started to list off all the people that would attend.

"And that is already six too many!" Hiccup cut him off.

"I'm not going to change your mind, am I?"

"I'd rather wrestle a greased-up Night Fury in a flaming boar pit! Not even Odin could change my mind."

Stoick pondered for a moment, never seeing his son so determined. It was obvious that the boy would not stay silent in the matter. "Okay. While I make no promises, I will talk to Gunnar and see what Astrid thinks. But when the time comes you will do what I say."

"If Astrid ever agrees with me on something, this will be it!" Hiccup couldn't believe it, he had already been planning on faking his death when his father conceded. This was the first time he had won any sort of argument with the man.

Stoick ignored the retort and beckoned his son closer. "Now that we have straightened everything out, there is something else I needed to talk to you about." Using his good arm, the man dumped a hatchet into Hiccup's hands. "You get your wish. You start dragon training in the morning."