I shameless homage Order of the Phoenix in this chapter. Umbridge gets a little bit more evil. Anders and James have an 'awww' moment. Enjoy!
Everything belongs to JK Rowling and Bioware.
Chapter 4 – A Taste Of Freedom
"So, what's the plan?" Anders asked as he followed James up the stairs to the second floor. Anders had to run to keep up.
"We are going to speak to Irving," James said simply and determinedly.
"What will that accomplish?" Anders moaned, James stopped suddenly and turned to him.
"He knows were I'm from."
"And?"
"He'll believe me."
"And if he doesn't?" Anders asked incredulously. James shrugged.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." On this note, James continued walking to Irving's office. Anders sighed and followed silently thinking that this boy was too stubborn for his own good. They walked towards Irving's office and James was about to knock on the door when Anders grabbed the back of his robes. He was about to turn around and ask why when he saw what Anders did. Umbridge arguing with Irving.
"I am the First Enchanter here, not you," Irving said sternly.
"Well I must insist that the First Enchanter -"
"Enough! If you have any complaints about the mages take it up with the Templars if you must. I will continue however, to insist that throwing two 16 year old boys into the cells for a bit of cheek is too far." Irving was remaining calm but his authoritative nature did not waver.
"Are they talking about us?" James whispered, Anders nodded. His expression more serious than James had ever seen it. "I don't under-" Anders gestured for him to be quiet and James immediately did so.
"First Enchanter, I must insist -"
"This meeting is over Dolores," Irving said still with the same calm voice but for some reason a sense of authority and power was established within it. "Enter, boys." Irving barked towards the door as Umbridge left the room. "You," Irving began with an oddly fond voice, "are evolving a very bad habit of listening at doorways." He said, mainly to Anders.
"First Enchanter, we wanted to speak to you about Mother -" James began quickly.
"Dolores? Yes, I thought as much," Irving interrupted. "I thought we agreed that you would tell no one? I was unaware that young Anders here did not count in that."
"I – well -" James began face burning red, he hadn't really thought this part through.
"No matter, no matter, there are people of more importance and danger who could have found out. It is of little importance now, I believe you wished to discuss Mother Dolores?" Irving prompted.
"Y-yes," James began clearing his throat. When he showed signs of being nervous and unable to communicate what he felt, Anders stepped in.
"We think she's from the same place as James, he recognised her," Anders said quickly. James couldn't tell whether Irving was amused or fascinated by this. James flashed a quick, grateful smile at Anders and then looked back at Irving.
"I am quite sure James is correct," Irving said quietly.
"You... Believe me?" James said in astonishment.
"Quite so, I believe -" Irving paused. "You have the same sense of magic radiating from you. Yours however is stronger, it's... Peculiar. Fascinating but peculiar." He mused over this for a few moments. "Of course, proving to the Templars she has magic ability would be tough. I'm sure what you must do will become evident in time, I suspect your appearance here however my boy, may have something to do with her."
"Why am I here though, sir?" James asked politely.
"No idea," Irving answered honestly. "Now, if there would be anything else?"
"No, First Enchanter," Anders said quickly and pulled James by sleeve to follow him out of the room. He stumbled after Anders and now it was James's turn to have to run to keep up. What on
earth was Anders doing?
"Anders, where are we going?"
"This way."
"That's not helpful!" Anders stopped at this moment in an empty bit of corridor, he looked around to make sure there was no one in sight.
"Irving doesn't object to how apprentices are treated, I've never heard him object." James looked confused. "We can't talk here, just – follow me!" James followed him down the hall and stairs into an empty classroom. Anders perched on a desk after magically locking the door. James sat on it cross-legged next to him.
"Irving doesn't object to how apprentices are treated," Anders repeated.
"You said."
"Or if he does, he's not vocal about it."
"Maybe he does, we just only heard it this time because we happen to be stood at his doorway." Anders thought for a moment.
"I don't think so, I do a lot of standing at his doorway. No, this is strange. It makes me curious."
"Curiouser and curiouser," James whispered fondly.
"What?" Anders asked confused.
"It's from – Never mind, so why so curious?"
"Maybe Irving wants to know why Umbridge is here, maybe he wants her away from here, maybe she's doing harm here, maybe he's trying to help the mages," Anders shrugged. "Who knows."
"You mean, Irving has never stood up for the wiz-" James cleared his throat. "Mages before?"
"No," Anders began staring at his feet. "The chantry outnumber him extremely I suppose." There was a sadness that was always present in his eyes that took over his face at that moment. James moved a little closer towards Anders.
"If I find a way to get home," James said in a low voice. "Come with me." He placed his hands on Anders's, making him look up.
"I can't -"
"You can," James insisted.
"You want me to run away from the Circle? The Templars? Everyone, forever?" Anders said with a look in his eyes that said he didn't want to wish for this much.
"Yes, just stay with me."
"With you?"
"Yes." James said definitely.
"I want to, so much."
"Then we'll do it, you and me will escape this place forever." Their hands entwined at this point and Anders lifted his free hand to stroke the side of James's cheek.
"Forever?" Anders said feeling James's warm cheek at his fingers.
"Forever."
Anders's hand moved to the back of James's head as their eyes locked. Anders's honey coloured eyes and James's hazel ones. Anders moved in closer to him and James felt his warm, soft lips against his. James found himself in Anders's arms as he pulled James towards him. The kiss became stronger, hard, more passionate. Nothing else in the room mattered other than them, their was nothing else in the entire Circle, no other world. There was but the two of them and nothing else would ever be of any importance. James was certain his heart had stopped for a moment and his breath had escaped him. When it ended they remained just as close, their eyes still focused onto each other. Anders smiled slightly, a handsome, slight grin. James returned it. Anders's arms were still locked around his waist. They heard someone trying to open the door. They sprung apart. Anders discreetly opened it magically so that whoever was on the other side would just blame bad workmanship.
"W-what are you two d-doing in here?" The stuttering Templar from James's entrance into the tower stood before them.
"Talking, that a crime now?" Anders responded cheekily.
"I-in s-secret? Most s-suspic-c-ious one might s-say," James bit his lip to stop himself giggling at the Templar's attempt to form a sentence.
"You can't punish us for talking to each other!" Anders said incredulously.
"N-no? M-mother D-dolores has requested a c-closer -"
"Eye be kept on us?" Anders finished and then shrugged. "I thought it might be quicker." Anders then stood and up and beckoned for James to follow. "Since however there is no reason for you to reprimand us whatsoever, I think we'll be leaving." And so they did.
"I d-d-don't think he a-a-apreciated that," James mocked to a laughing Anders.
"M-m-maybe he'll t-t-t-tell the Knight-C-c-commander!" Anders joked. They laughed along down the corridor, Anders subtly took James's hand, their fingers entwined with each other as they walked side by side towards the library.
"So, here's the plan," Anders said conspiratorially as they sat 'studying' in the corner. "We keep an eye on Umbridge, we follow her, see where she goes. She has to use magic or do something suspicious or of use eventually!"
"True," James began. "Of course, their will be a lot of standing around in the Chantry though."
"Well, yes -"
"And we don't have any evidence that she will actually do anything."
"But -"
"And we'd probably end up standing around for hours."
"Well, I guess -"
"And she'd probably notice and we'd get sent to the cells again."
"I know but -"
"If we don't go to the cells for skipping classes."
"Aha! But -" Anders said more definitely wagging his finger. "If we wait until we've finished classes and the priest's duties are over we'll get straight to the interesting stuff." James shrugged.
"Worth a shot I suppose." Anders's face turned into a grin at James's agreement. Then Anders's eyes suddenly turned serious and his gaze at the table.
"I won't let them throw you in the cells again I promise, I'll take the blame if we get caught." James held his hand tighter.
"No. I won't let you."
"You have to!" Anders's voice was filled with frustration.
"No, I refuse. If you have to go through that agony, I at least want to be close to you."
"You shouldn't have to though," Anders responded shaking his head. "I don't want you to."
"I don't want it to happen to you either."
"That's different."
"No it isn't." They both stared at each other stubbornly for a moment. James sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Don't let yourself take the blame for me, you know it'll just be worse for you."
"I don't care!"
"Stop being such a martyr!" Anders glared at James for this comment and he instantly knew he'd said the wrong thing. "I'm sorry – I didn't mean -"
"I'm not, I just care," Anders growled in response.
"And I don't care about you?"
"I never said that!" James gave a sharp intake of breath.
"This isn't getting us anywhere."
"It would if you just accepted I'm right."
"Anders, we're both stubborn and argumentative. It's a bad combination. We should stop." Anders laughed at this comment. Finally, thought James, that's calmed the mood a little.
"Point, although I am right -" James jokingly hit him with a book for this comment, refusing to argue any further. That's when a tall, red-haired elven boy with a face that resembled a fox according to James walked over to them. Everything about him screamed vanity, even his walk was more of a strut.
"Well," he began in a pompous manner as soon as he approached our table. "Looks like someone has finally found a friend, that took you long enough."
"Shove off, Dracius," Anders scowled at him. Dracius? Okay, this was getting a little two weird now, thought James.
"Not a way to talk to your betters, is it? I just wanted to introduce myself to your boyfriend and warn him to stay well clear," Dracius snarled.
"He's not my boyfriend," Anders glared, James felt a little hurt at this remark but didn't say a word.
"Well obviously, how could you ever find someone?" This boy emphasises too much, James thought.
"Leave him alone," he snapped at Dracius, taking the three of them by surprise.
"Do you know who I am?" Scoffed Dracius. "Are you really going to talk to me like that? Maybe I should teach you some manners, freak."
"You're welcome to try," hissed James standing up. They had attracted quite a crowd now. He could hear whisperings about how that new kid was fighting Dracius - with a few mutterings of "no chance". Dracius was about to cast a spell but James knew his sort of magic could get in their first, concealing his wand in the sleeve of his robes he said "Stupefy" in his mind as loudly and clearly as he could. He took Dracius, and everyone in the room by surprise. James looked smugly in the direction of Anders who grinned back, although he looked much more weary than James did. That's when Dracius did something to shock everyone, he pulled a knife out of his pocket and slashed his hand open. There was a stony, fearful silence in the room as everyone stared at him. This is what everyone talks about, James thought, blood magic.
James found himself hunching to the floor in agony. According to everyone in the vicinity he looked like he was having a seizure as his blood bubbled, boiled and tortured him. James found himself howling and screaming.
"STOP!" James screamed. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! STOP!" All he could hear is Dracius laughing, then Anders shouting. The sudden sense of heat and Dracius's swearing told James that Anders had begun to fight him. Help me Anders, James thought, help me. That's when the authoritative voices of a group of Templars filled the room. Even James, in all of his agony, managed to work out what was happening. The Templars were dragging a manically laughing Dracius away, one of them stayed to neutralise all of the magic in the area. The pain inside James subsided but the memory still lingered, Anders rushed over to James uncaring of who was watching. Anders held him with his face so close James could feel his breath.
"Are you okay?" Anders whispered, James nodded weakly.
"What will they do to him?"
"Maleifcarum are given the punishment of death," Anders replied softly.
"If I'd have – I shouldn't have duelled him – he's gonna die because of me," James's voice had become filled with anxiety and unintelligible to anyone but Anders.
"Shush love," Anders began stroking the side of his face. "He's a blood mage, it's his own doing and his own stupidity. It was going to happen. Don't blame yourself." James suddenly realised what Anders was doing and where they were.
"Anders," he began. "We are surrounded by people."
"I know," Anders responded, he knew where this was going.
"Didn't you say -"
"I don't care."
The library was off limits and lessons cancelled for the rest of the day, this resulted in Anders and James wandering aimlessly around the Circle. For the first time since his arrival here it had started to bother him that they weren't allowed out. Not that he didn't try to get a little peak at Fereldan.
"That's a big door," James said conversationally to one of the bored Templars guarding the entrance.
"Yes it is, are you just here to point out the obvious or do you have a purpose?"
"Could you perhaps, open the big door?"
"No, I thought you'd be used to this concept by now."
"And there is no other way out of the tower?"
"No."
"Not even a window?"
"Well yes, but they are all pretty high up. I trust I don't have to warn you of the danger from jumping out of them." Anders spent the majority of this conversation stifling laughter to the point of where it looked as if it might have been a little painful to do so. James was beginning to realise that there was little to do in the tower and winding up Templars was one of the most fun things that was an option.
"What's behind the door?"
"Fereldan," replied the Templar in a bored voice.
"What does it look like?"
"Farmlands, sheep, the occasionally village. Not very interesting."
"Huh, seems a waste for you to guard that door all day."
"It is, I've heard it takes four grown men to open this door."
"So why -"
"Stop with the inane questioning please, I have duties to attend to," said the Templar clearly starting to get irritated. Anders and James followed the orders and continued wandering aimlessly around the tower. They stopped when they got to just outside where the members of the Chantry slept, more specifically, where the Chantry mothers slept.
"It's empty," Anders said, a voice filled with implications.
"That it is," James replied. "It's almost... Inviting."
"Wouldn't want to go in though."
"Of course not, that's trespassing."
"We'd get into loads of trouble."
"Yes, we would. The Templars will go mental."
"After you?"
"Very kind of you."
Anders kept a watch on the door as James look around for anything incriminating. All he had discovered so far was that this woman had some form of cat fetish and adored things of the ugly, lacey variety. The sort of pink and frilly nature that would his younger sister Lily shudder. James discovered a strange black quill on her desk, spun it around his fingers for a moment and then placed it back on the table. He opened a drawer and noticed something more than a little bit incriminating. He picked the book up and flicked through it with widened eyes.
"James! Someone's coming!" Hissed Anders. James slipped the book into his robes pocket and hurriedly turned around to see Umbridge stood at the doorway.
"What," she began in her high pitched, childish voice that appeared to have extreme tones of severity at present. "Are you two boys doing in my quarters?"
"We-we had a message for you," James started quickly. "Didn't we Anders?" Anders caught on quickly.
"Yes, the Knight-Commander desires your presence," Anders lied. Umbridge was suspicious.
"And why would he send you two rather than a Templar or someone trustworthy?" She asked suspiciously.
"He was really busy, we were the closest to hand." Umbridge narrowed her eyes.
"Hm, I see. If I find you've been in my quarters for some other reason you may find yourselves in a rather... Grave situation. Now, please leave." She swiftly moving out of the way of the doorway. They followed orders and left the room, not saying a word until they were far down the corridor.
"Find anything?" Anders asked, James nodded. "Well?"
"Not here, we need somewhere... Secluded."
"I've got just the place," Anders whispered in response. He took James's hand and spun them around, going in the direction they'd just come from.
"Where are we going?" James asked slightly worried. His first reaction was: dangerous, restricted, Templars will be angry.
"You'll see," Anders responded with a slight smile. They went as high in the tower they could and the way they sneaked passed the Templars on the top floor told James that his initial response was indeed correct. "Years ago," Anders said conversationally as they clamoured their way through the desolate room. "Their was a storm, that they suspect had some magic involvement in it's creation. It destroyed apart of the roof of the tower. So from the attic you can see..." He waited for James to crawl under a broken beam that was blocking the way and gestured towards the part of the wall that had come away. "This." James stood their dumbstruck for a few moments. Fereldan, from this height looked remarkable.
It was nothing special, with it's wastelands, farmlands, forests and straggly looking hills on the horizon and the occasional suggestion of a village. It was what it represented: this whole world just out of reach, freedom. James stood their with the wind blowing through his hair as he took it all in. He turned around to see Anders had sat cross-legged on the floor and was staring at him with fascination. James walked over and sat down next to him gazing over Fereldan. Anders put his arm around him and they just stared there with each other for a while.
"So," Anders started, breaking the silence. "What did you find?" James sat up properly, turned towards Anders and sat cross-legged whilst he pulled the book out of his pocket.
"That -" Anders began with a face of shock. "Is a book on necromancy."
"Not only necromancy," responded James gravely. "It has a lot more, and a lot of darker magic in it. I just skimmed through it but some of the curses -" James shuddered. "We have to show Irving."
"Won't she just say she confiscated it?" James shook his head.
"She can't, it has magic, curses, objects and people which relate directly to my world. Irving must realise this."
"He won't do anything," Anders replied sadly.
"I think this is serious enough that he might."
"Perhaps," Anders replied sceptically. "It would require Irving to stand up to the Chantry though."
"You don't think he'd do that?" Anders shook his head and looked at the book curiously.
"Unforgivable Curses?" He asked. James nodded.
"They are three spells that are forbidden by the Ministry by law and the use of any one of them can cause you to be taken straight to Askaban," He caught sight of the expression Anders was bearing.
"A prison for wizards guarded by dementors – "
"Dementors? Wasn't that thing we saw in the basement -"
"Yes. Anyway, there are three of them. The imperious curse, were the caster can cause the victim to do their bidding. The cruciatous curse, that tortures the victim it's -" James winced for a moment at the memory of what had happened earlier. " - I imagine what happened to me earlier would be what it's like to be under it." He hesitated. "The final one is Avada Kedavra, the killing curse. Only one person has ever been known to survive it."
"Your father," Anders finished, his voice slightly in awe.
"Yes," James answered proudly face breaking into a smile. "My father." My father, he thought to himself, my family. James thought about them properly for a few moments and how much he truly missed them. Anders put his hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
"You'll see him again, you'll see all of your family again," Anders promised, that's when he said something James didn't expect. "Tell me about them."
"You sure you want to here me go on about my family?"
"I'd love to."
James sat there talking to Anders about his family for he didn't know how long. James talked at length about his brave father the auror who had defeated the greatest dark wizard of all time, the man who was adored through out the Wizarding World by Lord Voldermort's enemies. He talked about how his father had met his mother at Hogwarts and how she had been his father's best friend Ron's younger sister, as well as her part in the Wizarding War. He talked about his Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione. He started talking about more mundane things: his younger sister Lily and how many pranks him and his brother Albus had played on her. What him and his brother had gotten up to so far that summer, how he'd teased his brother. How his cousin Victorie and her fiance Teddy had been planning their wedding, which his mother had been driving him crazy about. Anders enjoyed listening to every part of this, occasionally asked questions and laughed in the appropriate places. James noticed however, that as happy as Anders was right now James had precisely what Anders longed for.
"You'll meet them," James said finally.
"Will I?" Anders asked.
"Yes, you'll come with me. Back to my world, where we can be happy. I promise." James grabbed
Anders's hand at this point making Anders face break into a smile. James recognised the look Anders was holding, it was one that was forcing himself not to get his hopes up. James was going to make Anders happy however. He would make sure of it.
As the sun was setting they made their way back down the tower. They were stopped when they reached the third floor by the stuttering Templar.
"M-mother D-dolores w-wishes to s-see you both in the F-first E-enchanter's S-study p-promptly," He said, attempting to sound authoritative.
"D-does she?" Mocked Anders in response, making James laugh.
"And I am to escort you!" The Templar said crossly walking them both to the First Enchanter's office in silence. Anders and James kept shooting looks at each other which spoke their thoughts exactly. They had been caught, probably without a chance to prove anything Irving. Umbridge was not going to keep it in her possession for much longer. Anders allowed the Templar to enter the study first and hung back. James felt Anders's hand by his side for a moment, James gave the boy a curious look but he just quickly shook his head as if to say "Not just yet." James shrugged and walked into the study to see a furious Umbridge and a curious Irving.
"These boys," Umbridge began immediately, dominating the conversation. "Have trespassed and stolen a personal item from my quarters."
"And your proof?" James replied, sounding braver than he felt.
"I saw you in my quarters."
"To give you a message, we didn't steal anything," Anders interrupted. Irving sighed.
"Mother Dolores, do you have any evidence that these boys have stolen something?"
"They were trespassing and an item has gone missing," she said simply. "They are lucky I'm taking it to the First Enchanter before I go to the Knight-Commander. I will happily remain quiet if my
item is returned to me and we shall say no more about it," she finished sharply.
"We didn't steal anything!" Anders and James said in unison both just as stubbornly. They flashed each other a quick look but didn't dare do so for noticeably long.
"Obviously," Umbridge said with a snarl, "They are lying."
"If I may be so bold Mother, it's not that obvious to me," Irving replied quietly. Anders and James could not stop but have a slight smile at this point.
"Well, I guess I shall have to bring this to the Knight-Commander. Clearly, you have no control over these boys," she glared as she sloped out of the study.
"What did you take?" Irving asked.
"We didn't -"
"Anders, please. I did not become First Enchanter by walking around with my eyes shut." He turned to James. "What did you take?"
"A book on dark magic," he answered instantly.
"And you are sure she didn't confiscate it?"
"Magic from my world." Irving's eyes widened slightly.
"Where is this book?" James checked his pockets and discovered it had been taken. He turned to Anders who suddenly had it in his hands, handing it to Irving.
"I shall keep this in my possession for the time being," He caught their expressions. "Do not fret, I shall take care of it. It will reach no eyes of the Templars, or their..." He paused. "Associates. I shall research this matter, but I must ask for you both to not take such extreme risks in regards to the Templars, a member of the Chantry and particularly Mother Dolores again. Ah, yes, that includes you Anders." He added in an amused tone after catching sight of Anders's disgruntled expression. At this point Umbridge returned with two Templars. All of them looked painfully smug.
"You may take the blonde one," Umbridge menacingly. "I would like a word with this one, in private." James flashed Anders a panicked look.
"Why can't he come with me?" Anders insisted, gaining a glare from the Templars. No Anders, thought James painfully, don't piss them off more.
"That is not of your concern," A Templar responded sharply as Anders was taken from the room. James turned to the First Enchanter whose entire demeanour screamed "there is nothing I can do".
"Come along, boy," Umbridge called and he followed her out of the study.
He walked just behind her down the hallway finding himself almost shaking with fear. A cold sweat covered him as he begun to imagine all of the awful punishments she had in store for him. All those curses and hexes she must have learned from that book, all the dark magic she must possess. They reached the Chantry and James was directed into a room to the side he hadn't noticed before. He was told to sit at the desk and wait. He sat their in the blank room with nothing of interest except for an alter, a couple of desks and a much grander desk at the end. It was empty compared to other rooms in the tower. Nothing in the entire space could distract James at all, it was so out of place in the Circle. Everything else in the building, apart from the cells, was grand and has some asset that would somehow be associated to magic. This room was just empty of anything at all. "So," Umbridge said, marking her entrance to the room and taking James by surprise. "You will get off much easier than your friend Anders," she had a sadistic smile on her face as she placed a long, thin black quill (one that James was sure he'd seen before) and some pieces of parchment on the desk before him. She made her way to the desk and sat down behind it. She was grinning at him like a cat stalks it's pray. "I wish for you to write 'I must not steal' until the end of this punishment."
"How many times?" James said much more relaxed, he was getting lines? He could not believe his luck.
"Oh, until the message sinks in," Umbridge responded with a glint in her eyes one might have if telling a joke. James shrugged and begun to write "I must not tell lies" on the piece of parchment. He winced and gasped when he'd done this. He stared at the back of his hand in horror as the words "I must not tell lies" appeared cut into his hand and then faded away as quickly as they'd come. Leaving nothing in their black other than a red sore path where they had been. He looked up at her in fear and she was still smiling at him. He gulped and then continued to write, his hand slowly becoming more sore with every line. The two of them sat in the room for hours, it almost felt like she was daring him to say something. He didn't complain or agonise, he would not give her the satisfaction. He just continued to write.
The room felt as if it existed in a time lapse, nothing felt real. Time didn't feel as if it was actually moving at all, there were no windows to give the impression of light darkening. No one came in or out of the room in all that time. It was just the two of them in the same room with the same silence between them. After what seemed like forever Umbridge stood up.
"Well," she began happily. "Let's see if you have gotten the message yet." She picked up his hand and held onto it tighter when he tried to pull away. He gasped when she stroked it. "Yes, it hurt on your father to." She responded spitefully. He pulled away and stood there almost frozen in place. "You may go now."
He left the room and ran to the apprentice's dormitory. He wasn't sure why he was running over than because he wanted to get away from there as quickly as physically possible. He stopped by the door of the dormitory and stood, bent over and gasping for breath. He couldn't remember if he had ever ran the fast or that continuously. He slowly made his way inside and found two things: the lights had already been turned out that Anders's bed was empty. He was sat on James's bed: eyes filled with concern, face fresh with bruises. James climbed onto his bed without a word and stroked the side of Anders's sore, beaten face. He winced and forced a smile when James did this.
"What happened?" Whispered Anders.
"It wasn't as bad as what you went through."
"Tell me," growled Anders in response, uncharacteristically fierce.
"I had to write lines," James said soberly holding up his hand were "I must not steal" was scared. The shocked look in Anders's eyes resulted in James telling him the whole story. Anders tried to heal it, and failed.
"I've never seen this sort of magic before, I can't do anything," Anders whined with a hurt look in his eyes. "Does it hurt?"
"A little," James said reluctantly. Anders stroked the back of his hand and James winced.
"That's more than just a little," Anders accused. James shrugged.
"It's not as bad as what you went through."
"I don't care, I'm used to it."
"I do."