(Warnings and all that other junk will be found in the first chapter)
Disclaimer: Bruce Wayne/Batman, Joker, and anyone else I throw in here do not belong to me.
Note: Kay, nice quick update for you, just because I dunno when I can update again. My dad caught me up last night and freaked so supposedly I can't use the computer anymore for a while. But I'm typing on my Sidekick (it's a sweet phone) so I can just e-mail the stuff I write to myself and post it later on. Bear with me and I will love you forever. Of course everyone wants long chapters, so I'll try to write long ones in a short amount of time, alright?
Okay, two things to say. One, in reply to your question ShadowsCorpse525, a bubble hem looks like this (this is actually the dress Joker was wearing XD) http /z.about .com/ d/fashion/ 1/7/X/e/2/redress .jpg. Just take out the spaces. Oh, and your review made me laugh out loud. I love how you put that question!
The second thing is I would like to thank Shadoweyes1 for such a thorough and wonderful review. You made me feel a lot better my dear, and I thank you for that! This update's for you!
Oh and thanks to Jadeile for mentioning the typos. I found some in the first chapter too and I'm pretty mad at myself. But I appreciate you pointing them out to me!
'Italics'- Thoughts of characters
"Italics" – Whispering
Chapter Four- Out with the Old or the New?
To say that he was extremely disappointed would have to be a grave understatement. When Batman returned to his secret hide out (it really couldn't be called the Bat Cave) it was about three in the morning, and he hadn't run into a single criminal, insane or otherwise. He'd spent three extra hours out in the city, searching every dark corner for the Joker, constantly expecting the other man to pop out with some new way to cause destruction and mayhem. But, the villain never showed up, leaving the caped crusader feeling akin to a fool and even more tired than before.
Naturally Alfred wasn't down in the lair when he arrived, but he clearly had been judging by how tidy everything was, and the fact that there was a set of fresh clothes set out. As he stripped out of his uniform, Batman once again became Bruce Wayne, the emotionally and now physically exhausted billionaire who wanted nothing more to return to his penthouse and sleep for at least a week.
The last thought that entered his head before he drifted off to sleep, back in the comfort of his own home, once again had to do with the Joker, and what he could possibly be up to now.
Once again morning crept up on Bruce before he even expected it, causing him to let out a disgruntled moan when Alfred came into his room, looking like he got a good night's sleep. Which, he probably did, much to the billionaire's misery. "I thought you said you were turning in by twelve Master Wayne, but it became clear to me after an hour of waiting for you to arrive that you weren't going to make your 'curfew.' I would've stayed longer, but unlike you, I need my beauty sleep."
The tired man still lying in bed managed a chuckle, though he wasn't feeling all that humorous at the moment; more really dizzy and light-headed. "A handsome guy like you Alfred? You shouldn't have to sleep at all." In response to Bruce's sarcastic comment, the older man gave him a sound whack on the back of the head with the Gotham newspaper before placing it on his breakfast tray.
"I'm assuming you didn't meet up with your old friend last night? I see no 'tiger bites' or injuries of any sort. At least fresh ones. Maybe he's turned over a new leaf.. Going to Arkham can do that to people you know." Alfred was now over by Bruce's television, flicking it on and flipping to the news channel to see what was going on in the world at ten in the morning. The butler had called in for the billionaire, telling Lucius that he wasn't quite up to snuff today and would probably be more hindering than helpful. Naturally the black man understood completely and supported Alfred's decision, since Mr. Wayne never seemed to take a day off.
"The Joker? Going to the good side? Now you're the one sounding like you got no sleep last night. What time is it anyways? Do I have time to relax before I go to work or is it one of those rushing days?" For some reason Bruce couldn't find his digital clock, which usually sat on his bed stand, completely unaware that Alfred had hidden it for the time being. The older man tore his eyes away from the magical box known as a TV, casually looking at his watch and telling Bruce the time. "What?! Why didn't you wake me up Alfred? I'm late!"
"You're not going to work today Master Wayne, so you can stop running around like a headless chicken. I called Mr. Fox, and explained that you were running yourself ragged lately and needed a day off. So, you're free today." He ignored the billionaire's irritated glare, once more looking back at the television, only to let out a soft gasp and turn up the volume. "Master Wayne, you might want to listen to this.."
Bruce slowly walked over to where his old friend was standing, a feeling of déjà vu passing over him as he stared at the picture on the screen. It was another video, made by the clown himself, complete with terrible cameraman skills and hostages as always. Bruce sank into his leather chair, watching the video closely with steely eyes and white knuckled hands.
It showed two people in two wooden chairs, tied to them with thick rope and their mouths covered with silver duct tape. One was a young boy, who looked about five years old and was trembling sporadically, tears streaming down his face as well as snot. In the other chair was an old woman dressed in the gown that was used at Gotham's nursing home, her thick glasses askew and cracked, and her body shaking as much as the boy's. The Joker's voice came from behind the camera, cheerful yet menacing as it always was, and full of laughter.
"Hello again.. Long time no see Gotham.. I bet you thought I was gone, that I was never coming back.. But you can never make assumptions like that you know, since it always comes back to bite you in the butt. Now today I've got something very special for all of you.. A little game to see who gets more.. Appreciation in Gotham. The little brats or the old fogeys? I've got one of each here, and don't they look so happy?" The jerking camera zoomed in on the little boy and then the old woman, both of them wearing similar expressions of fear and pleading.
"I've given our Mayor a key, and this key disables a bomb. Now I bet you're wondering where the bombs are, right? I'll tell you.. One is located in the basement of Gotham's Elementary School, and the other in the basement of Gotham's Senior Center. The key works for both bombs, however... you only have one key. It is up to you, citizens of Gotham, to decide who is more important to you.. Your parents, grandparents, great uncles or aunts? Or your children, nieces, nephews, and accidents? You have a half hour until both bombs go off.. And don't even think of making a copy of the key, or else the bombs will be detonated early. Same rule applies if the school or nursing home is evacuated.
"So, is it out with the old, in with the new? Or out with the new and in with the old? Your call Gotham." The video ended with the Joker cackling in the background and the camera focused on his own face, which was of course smiling with sick and twisted glee.
The city was in complete turmoil, with swarms of people gathering outside the building that housed the Mayor's office, demanding for the key that would save their family members. Brawls broke out between disagreeing groups, causing anxious mothers to viciously attack those without children who wanted to save the elderly. The Joker was turning the city on itself with this little charade, which was what he'd been trying to do since the beginning..
Inside the Mayor's office sat Commissioner Gordon, his fingers drumming on arm rest of his chair as his eyes watched every tick of the clock. Only five minutes had passed but it seemed like so much more to the man who was a parent himself and had two little ones in the school that was currently housing a bomb. In the dark corner of the room lurked the Batman, who was mulling over the possibilities in his head, trying to think of a way to save both groups of people. He didn't want what had happened with Harvey and Rachel to happen in this case, especially when so many lives were on the line.
"We can't just sit here waiting Mayor, you know that! If we don't do something now, the kids and the senior citizens will die!" Gordon's nerves were wearing thin as another minute passed by, and he leapt to his feet, slamming his hands on the desk. "We have to pick which one to take the key to, and... we'll figure out what to do with the other one."
"Don't you think I realize this Commissioner? I myself have my mother in the nursing home and I don't want to have to make this decision! It's too much, too much.. He's gone too far this time." The Mayor let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself down and keep from getting hysterical.
"If we can find the Joker, neither bomb will go off." A gruff voice came from the corner of the room, and two pairs of eyes landed on the caped crusader, disbelief evident in both of them. "He sets the bombs off himself.. If these bombs are on a timer he must have some way to stop them from going off or to make them go off early. If we get to him before the thirty minutes are up, we can stop both the bombs and save all of their lives."
The Commissioner and the Mayor exchanged glances before they once more settled their eyes on Batman. "What if that's not the case this time? What if he was bluffing?" Gordon demanded as two more minutes slipped through his fingers, causing his heart to beat faster and his palms to sweat.
"He doesn't bluff. He's got a detonator, I know it. You go to the elementary school with the key, and I'll find him. If he's watching both buildings he must be in the middle of them, and there are only a few buildings he could possibly be in." With that said, the Dark Knight slipped out of the window to the Mayor's office, ready to hunt down the clown, whom he only had about twenty minutes to find.
Oh everything was going wonderfully! The Joker could barely contain his laughter as he watched the beatings occurring outside the Mayor's office from his hiding place, an apartment building that was located directly between the school and nursing home. Just like Batman had predicted. From here he could watch and make sure no one was attempting to leave his game early, his hand clutching the detonator to both bombs in his pocket. This was exactly how he wanted to get recognized again, and it would make sure that the people of Gotham never forgot him.
He was on the twentieth floor all by himself, having debated getting dogs again but deciding against it. Even if Batman found him, what could he possibly do? Well, besides beat him up, which proved to be rather enjoyable and even arousing.. The Joker's black outlined eyes flicked to the clock on the wall, and he bounced up and down in excitement; ten minutes left till show time! He didn't really care who he blew sky high, hating both little kids and old people equally, and secretly hoped he'd get to blow up both buildings.
"You just have to have the spot light, don't you?" The deep voice that always sent shivers down his spine sounded right behind him, and he instinctively spun around with his knife out, managing to catch the masked man across the face. Batman darted away from him with a low grunt before he lunged towards the villain, tackling him to the ground and pinning his arms over his head. "Where is it? Where's the detonator?"
"You seem tired Batman.. Were you out late last night looking for me? Sorry I didn't show up, I was too busy planning this game of mine.. Not everything revolves around you you know." The Joker grinned widely up at his attacker, unfazed by the position he was currently in. His smartass remark was met with a large fist to his jaw, and he let out a strangled giggle as his teeth ground together. "You're never going to get anything from me acting like that."
"Give it to me, now." Batman growled menacingly, lifting the villain's head before slamming it angrily against the wooden floor, taking pleasure in the sickening crack it made. However all he got was another maniacal laugh along with a wet cough rather than what he was looking for.
"What will you give me, hm? Another sentence to Arkham? Another three weeks of sitting in a white room while I hear the screams of the deranged around me every waking moment? I'm not crazy.. Not crazy at all.. Yet I get shipped off to Arkham. I refuse to go back there, and I know if I give you what you're looking for that that's where I'm going to go. So, how about we make a.. deal?" The Joker's eyes once more moved to the clock, and Batman's own soon followed, revealing that only five minutes remained until the bombs were supposed to go off.
If things had gone the way he hoped, at least the elementary school's bomb was already disabled.
"What type of deal?" The caped crusader finally asked after thirty precious seconds passed, feeling stupid for even considering taking the deranged man's offer. But trying to take the detonator by force could lead to it being set off early in a scuffle, and that was the last thing he wanted. The Joker's expression seemed.. coy for a moment, before his smirk returned, and he paused as if deep in thought, just to annoy his arch enemy.
"Weeeell, if you want the detonator, you have to give me two things.. One, you have to let me go, and two.. You have to kiss me." The silence between them after his last few words was deafening, Batman's eyes wide with shock and his mouth partially open in surprise. He shook his head rapidly before snapping his jaw shut, looking like he wanted nothing more then to kill the Joker right at that moment. What kind of villain asked for a.. a kiss?
Then again, the man beneath him was always full of surprises.
"That's all you want? A free pass and.." He couldn't even bring himself to say it, instead making a sound in his throat before refusing to meet the Joker's triumphant stare any longer, instead studying the man's red painted lips. He'd never kissed a man before, and he'd never wanted to. Female was the only sex that interested him, this he knew for sure. But.. what was more important? His pride, or the lives of hundreds of elderly people and perhaps even children?
Plus it wasn't like anyone else could see them..
"Time's running oooout!" The Joker sang from under him, wriggling around a bit excitedly as if he already knew what the masked man's decision was. Because of course he'd do the noble thing and save lives rather than not kiss him.
"Fine! It's a deal. But if you go back on your word-"
"I wouldn't dream of it. Now pucker up!" There was no missing Batman's cringe as the Joker closed his eyes and waited for another pair of lips to touch his own, his excitement evident in the way his body shook slightly. With a sigh, one that made it seem like he was walking to his own death, Batman leaned down and pressed his lips against the villain's forcefully. If he was going to do this, he wasn't going to make it enjoyable.
Teeth clicked viciously against each other, and tongues were bitten as the pair kissed, the Joker's make up smearing all over the bottom half of Batman's face. By the time it ended, both of them were out of breath, and the villain was sporting both a bleeding lip and tongue thanks to his enemy's harsh bites. But he didn't mind the coppery tang of blood in his mouth, or the abusiveness of the kiss. All he cared about was that fact that he'd gotten a kiss.
Absently his hand slipped back into his jacket pocket and he pulled out the bomb detonator, placing it in one of Batman's gloved hands. The larger male stiffly rose to his feet, tempted to kick the Joker who was grinning up at him once again, this time as though he had a dirty little secret. Which, he did, unfortunately. "Get out of here, before I change my mind." Batman snapped at the purple suited man, wiping his face in a fruitless attempt to remove the white and red paint from it.
"You know.. I never said the kiss had to involve tongue.. Are you sure you didn't want it too?" At Batman's hate filled glare, the Joker let out a pleased giggle before he scrambled to his feet and raced from the apartment, leaving the Dark Knight to disarm the bombs and wonder what the hell had just happened.
Author's Note: I spent literally like.. a whole day and a half trying to come up with a way for the Joker to cause mayhem in Gotham, and this popped into my head. Sorry if it seems dumb or stupid, but it's the best I got people. XD Anyways, there was some Batman/Joker in there, and that's going to show you how their relationship will be. It's not going to be all butterflies, puppies, and rainbows…
Final thing, do you think I need a beta? And if you do, does anyone want to take the job? All I ask if that you have proper grammar, good spelling, and a lot of patience. Oh, and a kind heart would be nice too. 3