CHAPTER 4

IT took Shay four days before she was somewhat recovered from the incident. She had been in and out of consciousness for the most part, but she was aware of certain things. She was aware that her family at 51 had visited her, that was evident by the flowers, cards and get well balloons that had decorated her room. She was aware that, for the most part, Severide had barely left her side, and that Dawson had come by to visit more times than probably necessary, considering she was unconscious for most, if not, all of the visit. She could also swear that she had seen Rafferty looking over her, but that could have been a mix of the painkillers and something she had hallucinated.

"Hey Chika," Dawson said as she entered Shay's hospital room holding a bag, which caused Severide to turn around to face Dawson, and Shay to smile.

"Hey," Shay said happily while noticing Dawson was not wearing her work uniform. "You're not working?"

"Day off," Dawson responded.

"So you're spending it with me?" Shay looked at Severide. "See Kelly, what did I tell you. What me and Dawson have is true love."

"You're such a dork," Severide responded as he got up to give his seat to Dawson. "Anyway, I'll leave you two alone. I have some errands to run. I'll come by later, okay?"

Once Severide was gone, Dawson pulled out a container of pasta and placed it in front of Shay.

"No way, you made me Grandma Dawson's famous macaroni and cheese?"

"Damn right I did. Only the best for the love of my life," Dawson joked. "And besides, I knew you probably wanted something other than hospital food."

Shay took some of the pasta and savored the taste. "Mmhm. This is so good."

"Glad you're enjoying it," Dawson said. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Still a little sore, but definitely better."

"That's good. I guess I don't have to remind you how worried I was about you."

Shay smiled as she grabbed Dawson's hand and squeezed it tightly. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Dawson laughed. "I don't want to get rid of you. Ever."

Shay looked at Dawson, her face taking on a more serious tone. "I need to ask you something Dawson. I've tried asking Kelly, but he just—he gives me the run around, or avoids answering me completely. The night is a little fuzzy for me. I can only recall bits and pieces."

"What do you remember?" Dawson asked.

"I remember looking for Devon and finding her. We talked. I kissed her…the last thing I remember is her screaming my name, and I guess passing out. The rest is all a blur."

Dawson nodded her head. Severide had told her he would tell Shay about Devon, but she wasn't sure if she should tell Shay exactly what happened after she had been shot. She wasn't sure if she should tell Shay that after she had passed out, she had briefly regained consciousness and made her way to a payphone to call for help.

Shay sighed sadly. "In spite of everything, I kind of wanted to try and work things out with Devon. And I can't believe I foolishly believed her when she told me she actually cared about me. I know I am sounding childish and selfish, but you would think she would at least come and visit me."

Dawson was taken aback, and it was evident on her face. She couldn't believe Severide had lied to Shay like that.

"What?" Shay asked, noticing Dawson's look on her face.

"That's what Severide told you?" She asked, to which Shay nodded.

"Yeah. Why?"

Dawson cleared her throat, which caused Shay to become more suspicious.

"Dawson, if you know something, you gotta tell me. All Severide told me was that I probably wouldn't be seeing Devon again, and he left it at that. I don't want to be jerked around. I already feel like a complete dupe with Devon."

Dawson debated whether she should tell her friend the truth and face Severide's wrath, or just go on with Severide's lie. But in the end she realized the truth always comes out, and she didn't want to be the one who lied to Shay.

"Les, Devon died the night of the shooting. She was pronounced dead on scene."

Shay's face went pale and she could feel the tears building up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Shay," Dawson said as she watched tears roll down her best-friend's cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

"YOU told her?" Severide said once he entered the locker room of 51 and saw Dawson getting ready.

Dawson had mentally prepared herself for this since she had told Shay the truth they other day. "She deserved to know, Kelly. She thought Devon flat out left her again by choice. She had to know that wasn't true."

"She's still recovering," Severide said. "She doesn't need this on her plate right now."

Dawson closed her locker. "Severide, I get that you care for, and love Shay. I do too. She asked me a question. I told her the truth. She has been through enough, and that is the least she deserves."

Without saying another word, Dawson walked by Severide.

RAFFERTY entered Shay's hospital room holding a bouquet of lilies. Part of her hoped Shay was still in and out of consciousness, but as she entered the room she had seen that Shay was very much awake, but looked as if her mind was elsewhere.

Rafferty slowly made her way into the room, which caused Shay to look over and with a confused look on her face she said, "Rafferty?"

"Hey," Rafferty said a bit apprehensively as she stopped walking closer to Shay. "How are you feeling?"

Shay wasn't sure how she was feeling, but she was alive, and that was all that mattered, right?

"You can come in you know. I won't bite," Shay said, avoiding Rafferty's question.

Rafferty laughed nervously as she approached Shay. "I got these for you." She handed Shay the bouquet of lilies.

"Lilies," Shay said as she looked down at the beautiful flower arrangement, and then back up at Rafferty.

"What, do you not like lilies?" There was a little bit of panic in Rafferty's voice.

"No, they're beautiful," Shay assured, but Rafferty still wasn't convinced.

"What is it then?" Rafferty asked with the same tone of voice Shay had come to appreciate during their time teasing each other and working together.

"Nothing, honestly. I really like them. Thank you." Shay decided it was best not to mention the reference to the lesbian movie, 'Imagine Me and You' about lilies meaning 'I dare you to love me.' That would be some other time if she ever crossed paths with Rafferty again. Which brought up the question, 'Why was Rafferty even here to begin with?'

"Not that I don't appreciate the company," Shay began to say. "But um, how did you even know I was in the hospital? Did Severide or Dawson tell you?"

Rafferty, who was now sitting in the chair, shook her head. "I was on shift when we got a call there had been a drive by shooting." Her voice got quieter, "I was the first on scene."

"Oh." Was all Shay could manage to say, and Rafferty knew something wasn't right as she noticed Shay's heart monitor had fluctuated slightly.

"Are you okay?" Rafferty asked.

Shay forced a smile, even though her mind went back to Devon. "I'm fine."