Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto or any of the characters
*This story is based on a real life experience.
Chapter 4: Gone
The last week of school was approaching so quickly I just noticed, we were busy arranging the last details for our graduation party so the final exams were the only distractions for the excitement that was running around all the party was planned to be held in a club near a very well known zone in the city. Famous for its many bars and night entertainment centers.
This club was property of the aunt of some student of our generation so it would be open exclusively for our use that night.
It was also perfect because the party would be very informal. A lot of us agreed that getting rid of the prom issues and pressures was the most attractive idea. I was one of the first ones to follow that idea, first because I really didn't want to feel the pressure of searching for a date, second because I didn't wanted to see Sasuke take any girl to a prom and third since we were almost ready to experience the college years, having a party in a night club was an exciting idea. Like an initiation to the grown up world.
Since the party was like that instead of renting a very expensive suit I went to shop a nice shirt, and some denim.
My sense of fashion was not that spectacular, so I went for a dark grey shirt, and very light blue, almost white denim. My trustable grey and black Vans and my outfit was complete.
The party venue was everything but conventional. The club was built in an old factory and it was divided in different rooms with different tematics. Since our generation was not that big, the party took place in one of the tree spaces of the club.
When I arrived, the neon lights and fluorescent details along the hallway took my attention.
The main entrance was filled with mirrors of different sizes and frames, all of them reflected the poor light, guiding my way to the party location. When I turn to the right i saw some of my all time classmates, all of them in very casual clothes. I mentally congratulated me for not wearing a tie or a more formal outfit.
The room was very large, with large sofas along the surrounding walls, there were very few tables and an upper level, like a mini stage, I supposed it was to host some shows during the wild nights, because along the curious shining stuff that hang over our head it was a pole in the middle of the mini stage , so I could almost assure this place had very very wild parties.
The club's staff offered free drinks at the bar, that was shining with a yellowish neon light, and behind the barman there was a set of blue, green and white lights that glow rhythmically with the music.
By the time I arrived the party was already on, since I had never been good with times, I usually arrived pretty late to any event in my life. My graduation party was no exception.
There were familiar faces dancing here and there, bodies crushing me while I tried to walk though, searching for Neji, Kiba, Sasuke or anyone of my closest group.
I spotted Neji grabbing two very full grasses from the bar, with a transparent glowing liquid.
I quickened my steps and follow Neji's path taking a glass for my own. Approaching to his body, careful to not spill my drink.
-Cheers!- I almost shouted to his back. Neji turned his head with a surprised look
-Naruto! Finally!- he said smashing his glass with mine. - Cheers!-
We both walked to the back of the club, my friends were sitting in the sofa that rest against the wall, in front of them there was a small metalic table with their drinks. I greet everyone, all of them had this joy in his eyes, all of us knew that this was the end of a very long journey. I met mostly everyone on that table since we were 6 or 7 years, it was a very mini nostalgic moment. when all of us realized about the transcendental moment, it was just a second but the feeling stood there.
We danced, drank, took as many photos as possible and danced again.
Almost an hour after my arrival I felt someone tapping my shoulder.
-Hey!- Sasuke stood there with his shining smile, watching me under the neon lights and the sporadic green lasers that ran around the club.
-Sasuke!- I hugged him without thinking. A quick hug, I was so glad to see him. - Where were you?
-Sorry I was exploring the whole club is enormous, and also I was helping Karin to find the ladies restroom. - he answered moving his body to the music beat.
-Really? how big this place is to not know where the restroom is?-
-Well I don't think you have noticed but this place has more men restrooms than ladies, does that say something to you?- he said, looking to the right where the men's room was.
-seriously?-realization came to my mind.- Shit! are we seriously celebrating our graduation in a gay club?-
-yeah, seems like no one told us that while organizing this.- he laugh. I laugh hard, what an irony. Fucking life.
Sasuke was impeccable, wearing a navy blue shirt and black denim with black converse. His spiky black hair in the usual style and just for this time I noticed he was wearing cologne. A deep woody scent with a fresh note. Accentuating his personal aroma. I was so glad we were together in this place, I got this feeling like our college parties would be like this, just us, and this night, I was loving the idea.
We found Gaara and Kiba up in the little stage, dancing furiously and giving a show to the rest of the classmates.
-Come on Sasuke! we can't miss that- I tugged his hand towards the stage.
-There is NO way I go up there- he slipped his hand off my gripp.
.Ow! come on!- I said searching for his hand, but I couldn't found it.
-I'll watch you from here, go dance- he smiled. I smirked and ran to the little stairs beside the stage.
The party got pretty wild, even though we were not drunk the atmosphere was overwhelming, the energy of all of us was so high we didn't need alcohol to feel at that euphoric state.
Neji made quite a show dancing in the pole, Kiba got up a table following Sakura and Choji who were already dancing like crazy over the few tables of the club. Some of the barmen got carried away and begun to dance as well while carrying a tequila bottle doing shots for anyone brave enough to last 10 seconds.
I saw Sasuke pushing people to the 10 second challenge and finally approaching to the little stage to dance, jumping and singing along with the songs.
When finally the party begun to lost energy I was exhausted, sitting in the sofa near our table, next to me it was Gaara, followed by Sasuke. To my left I had Neji and i felt at ease, having all my people here, in this moment.
We begun to argue about nonsense, talking about stories or funny moments that happened during the classes. I could see Sasuke's smile behind Gaara's red messy hair.
Then conversation took another course, we begun to talk about our summer plans and what were we doing during the break.
-Well I'll be going to my aunt's home.- Said Tenten in a cheerful tone.
-I could visit you- Neji answered
-Is your aunt's home far?- someone else asked
- no, is just out of the city, but it has a great garden- Tenten answered
-I'll be traveling with my sister - Gaara snapped.- I don't think i will be around this few months-
-We should organize an outing- I offered - Before you go Gaara.-
-I love that idea- said Neji - Like bowling or a Karaoke!-
-Wow, Yes! That is a great idea- Said Sasuke smiling to me.
- It is, i have time the first weeks of the next month, then I'll be gone- said Gaara calculating the time with his fingers.
-We really need to think this quickly then- add Tenten
-But I mean, everyone have time right?- Said Gaara.- No one is doing something interesting this summer.- all of us laugh
-I have time!- I assured
-Me too- Neji and Tenten confirmed along with the others who were dispersed in the table or the near couches.
-And you Sasuke?- said Gaara turning his head.
-I … well- he said thinking thoroughly.
-Oh come on!, you have to make time between your new girlfiend an us- he finished, my head snapped up, searching Sasuke's eyes. But he was looking Gaara with wide eyes. Sasuke hit Gaara's arm with his elbow and placed his index finger pressing his lips.
WHAAAT!?
What?!
.
.
.
Why Sasuke …
Didn't told…
me.
.
.
.
The air leave my lungs, I was unable to breath and my head felt dizzy, I didn't have to ask for a confirmation about what I heard, Since Sasuke didn't tell me anything, and clearly didn't want me to know, that was enough. I could barely listen everyone's voices rushing to ask him about her name and where does they meet. But I pay no attention.
I felt everything slow motion, my heart pumping in my ears and my hands were numb, froze.
The music was a slow whisper lost in the distance. My body felt so heavy when I stood up and walked far away from that spot. My eyes, blinded, were searching for nothing, and my steps were unsecure, trying to walk in an automatic state through the mass of people still dancing.
I reach the entrance hall when my eyes started to itch. My breath was so hard I had to pull air with my mouth.
I was almost turning in the corner when I saw Kiba, kissing ungracefully with some random girl I was never fond. They separate and hold hands, walking straight to me.
-Hey Naruto!- said Kiba smiling. i just nod and tried to smile.
-I just declared to her, and she liked me too- he said grinning while he continue his way.
Fucking love, why was everyone in love, I was in love, but … my heart was torn apart.
I stood there looking the bunch of mirrors hanging in the walls, looking my reflection with displeasure. Then I saw a figure approaching to my back. It was him, the traitor, Sasuke.
He took my shoulder and look me straight to my face. Searching my eyes, but I denied his pleadings.
-Naruto…- he started
-Stop it!, i don't want to hear it- I said in a low voice.
-What? Things are like this… I just-
-You know, what hurt the most is that you intended to keep it as a secret...- I looked at him, searching the warmth that I learned to love in those black eyes. But it was gone, I was unable to found it or maybe I didn't wanted to see it any more.
He didn't answered and I left.
Sakura's rejection was a painful truth I faced. But Sasuke's betrayal was hell, a powerful, and profound pain that ate my chest, long and excruciating. Almost paralyzing.
I thought so many things about him, about our kisses, the way he approached that fist time in the roof. How his hands clenched to my back the long times when we hugged. I had this clear feeling that he would be with me.
I never imagined that above everything he would just search for another reality without me. Sasuke's world, his persona, the knowledge I had about him, his presence in MY life, was gone. Chopped from the root.
I was unable to return to him for an explanation, I was so hurt It was impossible for me to look him in the eye and ask for an answer. Why didn't he told me? What did he felt for me? Was I important to him? Why, Why did he started this? Why did he kissed me that far away day at his roof?
I knew very well I was nothing to him to go and demand this answers about him. But then again, Sasuke's actions were so revealing I never found a middle point. And of course I never told him how I felt. How incredible was my world with him or how confused about us, a feeling that may be was not mutual. And now it was gone, broken.
I never called him again, not even a text. And he didn't texted, and didn't call me. Our friendship just ended, and he disappeared from my life so abruptly that the emptiness in my chest stung every night when I told myself how stupid I was, for not telling him about my feelings or asking him what we were.
With time, the pain became anger, and I begun to feel this uncontrollable rage against the thought of him.
I isolated from my high school friends, resting occasional contact with Neji and some others, but the first few months of college were very lonely. By the end of that terrible summer, the results of the college selection exam where out, and miraculously I ended in the school I wanted to, Neji did not chose the same option like me, so we were separated. The same with all of my friends. So I started fresh new, in a place where no one knew me, and definitely where I could distract my thoughts from Sasuke.
I began to make promises to myself, about changing my person, being better than him and show him how good I was without him, how I won this supposed breakup I had reaffirmed in my head.
I rejected every outing they organized, and for a year I dedicated to my life, with new friends and new goals. Some brief nights with some girls and a lot of very good parties.
College was new and exciting world, something I was impatient to explore, and so distracted from this amazing place that my mind just drift from realities.
There I knew Ino, one of my best friends, and Deidara, my trustable friends during this first year of college. We were all from different institutes so we had very different appreciations of life and life stories.
We were still learning about each other, so I was here. In the middle of a house party, playing truth or dare with a beer in hand, spacing out, remembering a past story, an old pain, that was locked behind a lot of hate and tears.
-Naruto? Hello?- Ino waved his hand in front of my eyes.
-AH! sorry, sorry.- I return to reality.
- Are you okay?- she inquire
-Yeah, sorry, Is just that it has been a while since I thought about him... IT ,about ... that situation- I correct my self, taking a long shot to my beer.
-What was that? I mean, was he so important? - Her voice is starting to annoy me. But before I could answered I am interrupted. A dark figure approaching from the back of the filled room.
-ah! What did I lost? who's turn is? - Neji reach the small circle and sit cross legged.
-Naruto was telling his experience kissing a boy- Deidara reply in a cool voice.
-WHAT! when?, who? I'm your best friend how come i didn't knew!?- Neji's clear eyes seem amused.
-Well, is just a boy from summer- I definitely never tell Neji the truth.
-I can't believe it! good! Just wait for the others to know this, you are a box full of secrets my friend!- he punch my arm.
-You are not going to tell them right?- I ask slightly worried.
-Hmm Maybe they would found out.- Neji response was so low I could only stare, trying to catch his words. But my line of thought is interrupted with the laughs of the people surrounding me. They have spin the bottle and now is turn from another person to answer the truth or dare.
I incorporate, aiming for the fridge to get myself another beer, and maybe splashing my face with some water in the sink. That was a very wild flash back, filled with emotions I was grateful to keep them forgotten somewhere. The worst part of this is the fact that Neji now knows this part of me, because I am sure he will start to bother me until I tell him the story and of course the name of the guy. And that was an information I was not comfortable sharing. I was now doubting my decision of inviting Neji to this party, even though we are in different schools we still keep in touch and he already knew my college friends. And this is one of the biggest parties of the year, so why not!, I told him to invite some other friends since the party is open to anyone who wanted to come, but since he came alone, it was fine for me.
The water is dripping from my face, it is cold and feels so good against my skin, all this thoughts and memories have me a little troubled, so refreshing the skin is a very good feeling. I wipe my face with my own shirt, and turn right opening the fridge. The lines of beers are waiting in the cold, the ambar liquid moving slightly while I hold the bottle and close the fridge. A cold feeling in my neck is perceptible, but I let the sensations go away.
I scan the counter between the bodies of people obstructing my sight, searching for the opener, to free my beer from the bottle cap.
When I am able to open the bottle I try to rush to my friends, I don't want to miss the truths or dares of any more people. But there place is packed and is difficult to move. I bumped in to a body and crash with a wall, then the door from the other room is open.
-Naruto!- the low voice came, out of breath, reaching my ears.
-Sasuke?- I look into his eyes, black pools staring incredulously. I prepare myself for the rush of hate and resentment that I know will come to me.
I am not ready for this.
A/N:
I would love to hear your thoughts about this situation, Did naruto overreacted? was Sasuke mean?
I hope no one of you have to experience something as terrible as a broken heart, and If you have I really hope you have deal with it like a champion.