Chapter 4 – No More Secrets

Paul stood and watched in agony as Sedona's mouth dropped open and closed a few times. He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around her, but he wasn't going to touch her. He figured she'd freak out or maybe have an anxiety attack since he could feel the anxiousness rolling off her and her heart rate increased by tenfold. More than a few times her eyes wondered up and locked with his and danced between his eyes. But her silence was what was really killing him. He'd never heard her be so quiet before in his life.

Sedona finally closed her mouth. She honestly couldn't think of what to say or do as she stood there staring at him. Had he just really told her that he imprinted on her thirteen years ago? Which meant what? He imprinted on her when he met her at the age of seven and he was sixteen. She was suddenly putting all the clues together. Why he'd spent so much of his free time with her growing up. Why they were always touching or hugging. Why she'd missed him so much when he wasn't around. Why she missed him so much when she was away at college. Why he said she'd never understand why he worried about her all the time.

"Sedi…" Paul said the nickname he'd given her years ago. She was in a trance, when he uttered her name her eyes came up and locked with his again for what seemed like the millionth time since he'd uttered his confession to her. "Say something please." His voice was filled with worry.

"Why…" It was a small question but it had so many different answers.

Paul frowned. "What do you mean why? Ask me anything I'll be honest you know I will. I've never lied to you; I wouldn't start now."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you tell me before I left for college?" She had to ask him. She had to know. For as long as she could remember learning about what imprints were. She wanted to be one. She would give anything to be an imprint. She wanted to be someone's soul mate. She loved the idea of being with one person for the rest of her life. She could feel more tears filling her eyes.

Paul watched with a frown marring his handsome face as more tears filled her eyes. "I wanted to. I swear I wanted to tell you when you graduated high school. And then Sam started talking about you going to college and I didn't want to hinder your college education. I battled with telling you so many times before you left that Sam finally alpha ordered me to not tell you until you were done with college."

Sedona couldn't believe her ears. Her eyes snapped up to meet Paul's. "Please tell me you didn't just say that. Paul, tell me you're joking or something; I don't care what you say as long as you take back that my father alpha ordered you to not tell me." Her breathing picked up. "How…how in the world could he do that to you? I know how much my mother means to him as his imprint; what he fought for to be with her and how he almost lost her because of his temper. I know how he alienated Aunt Leah because of his imprint bond and love for my mother. He went through all of it. How could he possible put another pack member through that; even if you did imprint on his daughter. I don't understand."

Sedona's voice broke as a river of tears flowed from her eyes and she started to slowly break down. "And worst of all. How could he put me through that? I'm supposed to be his daughter. All these years I thought it was just a coincidence that you wanted to spend all your free time with me. I always felt a different feeling when you were around and it tripled and then quadrupled once I came back from college. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought for sure I was going to hell for the thoughts and dreams I was having about you and me. And the whole time…Why didn't you just tell me Paul? To hell with what my father alpha ordered you to do. I am your imprint. Why not fight for me or for us?"

Paul could feel his heartbreaking as he listened to her pleading words. "It's not that simple Sedona. You don't have a clue what goes on in the pack. When the alpha gives an order you follow it. Not following it can lead to dangerous consequences. Challenging an alpha order is like challenging for the alpha position; if you challenge for the alpha position you fight till the death. You father has been alpha since I was sixteen. Now that were older it's easier to get around his stern attitude because we've been through so many hunts and battles that we know the orders and rules that he makes and gives out are for the good of the pack. I'll admit I was very pissed off when he gave the order to not tell you until after college, but once I saw it from his point of view I understood."

Sedona shook her head. "Paul, I'm not part of the pack. No one ever explained to me what it felt like to be an imprint. So everything I've been feeling. I thought was just me going through the different changes in my life. Did you know I've been in love with you since I was sixteen? Why do you think I started crying and said I was scared of losing you forever to someone else? I would NEVER be able to handle seeing you with someone. I felt so guilty and selfish because I thought something was wrong with me for not liking someone my own age. I thought it was wrong to love someone so deeply who was almost a decade older than me and my best friend."

Paul's eyes widened at her confession. "What do you mean you've been in love with me since you were sixteen?"

"What do you think I mean when I say that? Paul, don't look so shocked. You've been the MOST important person in my life since I was seven. I just never connected the dots until you showed me the way tonight. I am not really all that upset with you about not telling me. But my dad; I don't understand why he did it. I'm hurt, mad and fully upset with him. I know for a fact Jake never asked Sephia and Embry's mom for permission to tell her and he damn sure never asked Embry." Sedona swallowed hard still not able to get her tears under control. "This is just completely unbelievable. Everyone knows I'm your imprint right?"

Paul nodded as he stood a step towards her and slowly reach out and touched her cheek. His heart melted when she leaned into the palm of his hand.

"You know what hurts even more? That everyone in the pack was allowed to be with their imprint except you and me. Look at Claire, she was two when Quil imprinted on her; she was allowed to know and she's still in high school." Sedona couldn't stop it any longer as her tears came fast and painful.

Paul couldn't stop himself as he finally let himself pull her to his body and she began to fall apart in his arms. Paul could feel her knees weaken as he carefully lowered the both of them to the sand as he pulled her between his legs and his arms tightened around her. He cradled her head to his chest as he rested his chin on her head. He placed several soft kisses on her head trying to calm her down. "Sedona, I'm so sorry. I should've just told you before you left for college. I swear if I could go back and do it all over again; I would. I would tell you everything you deserve to know. And I swear I will never keep anything from you ever again. No more secrets; I promise. And if you'll let me; I'll make it up to you the rest of our lives."

Sam and Emily were both holding their breath as they watched what transpired, Emily couldn't help as she grabbed onto Sam when she watched her daughter crumble into Paul's arms. "I can't tell if that's good or bad Sam." Emily whimpered as she pressed herself further into his side.

Sam's face had a serious look on it. He knew he shouldn't have let Paul and Emily talk him to letting Paul tell Sedona about the imprint yet. He was honestly hoping that because of the complications he and Emily went through because of imprinting that their daughter wouldn't have to go through the same fate. Apparently the Quileute God's had something else planned when they allowed the pack hot head to imprint on their at the time seven year old daughter.

Granted their oldest angel calmed Paul's temper considerably; especially when he was sixteen. When he'd first phased; his temper was off the charts. A lot of the time certain things his pack brothers did to piss him off just to laugh at him when he'd burst into his wolf form. After he imprinted it seemed to settle his temper and his anger and from then on it honestly took an act of God or a vampire to make him phase at the drop of a hat.

Paul felt Sedona lean away from him slightly as she looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. "What? What can I do for you? Name it. I'll do anything you want."

Sedona had gotten her tears under control as she tried to catch her breath. "Take me home please. I just don't feel like being here right now with everyone else."

Paul pursed his lips together as he nodded. He carefully moved around as he stood and pulled her to her feet. He kept his arm around her waist and tucked into his side. As they started to walk back towards the bonfire, Sam and Emily stepped up to them.

Sedona glared at her father. "I can't believe you dad. You actually alpha order Paul to deny what he felt for his own imprint; convincing him not to say anything to me until after I graduated college. I can't believe how cruel you were."

Sam cleared his throat. "I did what I thought was best for you Sedona. I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Sedona shook her head. "I know how much mom means to you to be your imprint and what you both went through. Everything you lost and gained because of one single look. How's come you never learned that you don't; that you do not do that sort of thing to people you love? You not only kept Paul at an arm's length from his imprint, but you denied me any sort of happiness. Dad I've been in love with Paul since I was sixteen. And I thought I was just being stupid and it was just nothing but puppy love. Sephia and Jake worked everything out between them before college. Claire and Quil are going on their first date in a couple of days and she's only fifteen. I'm so disappointed in you dad. I don't even know what to say to you."

Sam shook his head. "I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. I was only looking out for your well being. You can't fault me for that."

Sedona frowned. "Well you're well being, may have lost you a daughter; just don't talk to me for a few days. I don't know if I would be able to say something that I might not regret later."

Paul felt Sedona's hand tighten in his and knew it was his cue to get her home. Once they got back to the house, Paul carefully placed her across her bed and sat down with his back against the headboard. He watched as she placed her pillow in his lap and laid her head on it. She'd started crying again once they got to the house. He grabbed tissue for her and just ran his fingers through her hair. Trying to calm her again; he knew it would be a few days before she'd be back to the old Sedona he'd fallen in love with and he would stay by her side every second until then.