Well hello hello, we meet again and this time it's for Chapter 4 Woot!

And I thank you all for reviewing and reading this story. I would like to thank the lovely people just in a shorter way….

I would also like to thank Yellow Card for making such a nice song, Only One…hugs I just placed it like Yuki was singing…lol.

Hikari Aiyano hugs

Iloveathrun hugs

misydidi hugs

capricorn2645 hugs

I love you all and thanks for the comments. Now as you see, Yuki is very close to loosing his mind and I wonder why? Hmm and if Shuichi is a weak at the moment, who is going to protect Yuki from you wish you knew right?

Also I would like to warn you that Yuki, gets a little touchy freely on the little Angelic Shuichi. Just so you know……a little rape…I think…

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation (even though I wish I did)

How to Make Heaven Your Home

Chapter 4: Happiness or Despair

Yuki's Dream

Yuki was sleeping and needed it as anyone could see. He drifted and plunged deeper and deeper into, the world as we know a dream land. But something was different from the first dream; Yuki was sitting alone in a beautiful meadow. Flowers all around him and could be seen from miles long. He was alone to do whatever he wanted to do.

Yuki sat there thinking and hoping this wasn't like that last dream. He didn't want to start seeing blood and other things of that nature. He scratched his head and played with some flowers, not right before looking at his wrists."Oh that's right Tahoma stopped me…damn him..." He got a crazy theme in his head and wanted to sing, but it would be something from his heart. He thought about what he wanted to sing and decided to make it out of his love for Shuichi.

He knew his little lover could sing, and usually Shuichi would sing for him. Well it was Yuki's turn to sing for his lover, so he made a song in his head. And he used some of the words from his romantic mind, to make the perfect song.

"Yeah that's what I'll place in it that will make it match perfectly. I see nothing wrong with it." He started to sing softly and low, before he put on more volume.

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason


I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

(Short Pause…)


Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

(Humming how the song would go...)

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

(Shorter pause…)

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

(Humming longer to the song he made in his head…)


Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

(Short pause…)

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one (Oh..Oh...Oh...)
My only one (Oh...Oh...Oh…oh...)
My only one (Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...)
You are my only, my only one……

(Ending it softly in his head, making a violin ending with it…)

Yuki ended his little song and looked up to a crying Shuichi. He had big white wings and beautiful white cloths on.He could tell that something happened good to Shuichi since the last dream he had. He held his arms open to hold his angelic lover; he wanted place butterfly kisses all over him. He wanted to hold him tightly.

"Yuki that was just beautiful…"The young Shuichi told Yuki.

"I kind of made it for you Shu; I know how you feel about music…so…"

Shuichi walked up to Yuki's arms and rested himself in them. He was happy that Yuki came to visit him again. He held Yuki tight, feeling Yuki hold him tightly back. He snuggles in his lover's chest and looks up with those amethyst eyes.

"Yuki guess what?"

"Yeah Shuichi what is it?"

"I Shindou Shuichi have earned his wings and the right to become your holy guardian!

"Well that's just great Shu, but I'm doing okay…" He was lying, and he knew it too.

Yuki didn't know that Shuichi was on a mission to watch Yuki. He wasn't in doll form for nothing, but he was keeping that a secret for now. He didn't want to let Yuki know that he was watching every, well almost every, move Yuki made in that house.

"Yeah right Mr.Eiri Yuki! I saw you from heaven, I seen it all!! You were thinking about slicing your lovely wrists!!"

Yuki didn't say a word and his bangs were hiding his eyes; he was quiet and didn't move. The wind blew and both of their hair curved in the same direction. Shuichi was about to talk to Yuki some more, but Yuki opened his mouth.

"Do you really blame me for wanting to be with you?" He said not looking up just quite yet.

"Uh...Well Yuki I don't blame you but sti-"

Before Shuichi wasn't able to get a 'still' word out, Yuki crashed his lips upon Shuichi's. Shuichi was surprised at first and needed a second to realize what just happed. He didn't expect Yuki to pull him up and kiss him like that. Shuichi's heart started to thump harder in his chest. He wished so long to feel his lover's soft lips once again on his own. They moaned into each others kiss, they only stopped to take a breath.

"Y-Yuki w-what was that-"

"Just be quiet little baka…I wanted to hold you okay…it that so wrong?"

"N-no but it just shocked me that's all..."He said with a faint crimson red flush on his face.

Yuki just smirked and helped his baka stand for he looked a bit wobbly after that kiss. He grabbed Shuichi's wings and felt how soft they felt against his skin. He smiled just a bit, and watching as a feather fell to the ground. He picked it up and held it in his hands.

Yuki was going to keep that feather whether Shu liked it or not, not that Shuichi would really mind at all.

"Hay Shu I'm keeping this, you do know this right?"

"Yeah I know Yuki, do you want another one?"

"No this is good enough; I'll get more off of you sooner or later. "He had to smirk on that comment.

Shuichi just smiled not really getting what Yuki had meant by that. He continued to walk in the meadow with Yuki and stopped to look back at Yuki.He had to tell Yuki something very important and important indeed. He has to say that Shuichi wasn't going to be able to visit the human world just yet. He had to wait until the balance between the living and the dead was equal, that's when the new guardian angels were able to do their jobs.

"Yuki I need to tell you something, I won't be there when you wake up. And there will be some things that you won't understand yet. I don't get it either…"Shuichi may have had had dumb moments, but when it came to Yuki's life he was 'dead' serious about it.

"Well what exactly is it?"

"Something is going to try, and make you feel like you don't need to live. Or like you should give up something, for that other something you hold dear to you…"

Yuki cocked an eyebrow at him and stared at him. "Like make me sacrifice my life, for what's dear to me, right?" He made it sound so romantic and smooth, than Shuichi did. Shuichi just tried a little too hard.

Shuichi just blushed and looked down. "Yes Yuki….please just don't fall into his trap, he can make things sound so sweet and good…."He said while grabbing onto Yuki's shirt and held it tightly, he felt his tears fall and soak up Yuki's white shirt. He looked up and smiled. "Wait for me Yuki…please just wait for me…"He watched for Yuki's sweet answer of approval.

"Fine, I'll wait for you. But nothing is going to happen to me though…"

Shuichi just smiled even though he knew, something might go wrong anyway. He just kept that to himself, seeing that Yuki has a lot of pride and honor in himself. Shu didn't want to do that to his blond haired, gold eyed, nice bodied lover. He just took a deep breath and sighed softly. "Okay Yuki…I understand…."

Yuki's Dream Ends

Yuki woke up with a smile on his face. He sat up in bed and looked around his room. He looked at his hand which was holding a white feather. Seeing this he jumped out the bed and looked in the bathroom. He was thinking at maybe and just maybe Shuichi was there after all. He dashed into the living room and saw no one. Feeling a bit disappointed he tries one last room. He walked up to his work room and peaked in; he saw nothing but his office and laptop.

Feeling slightly depressed and lonely he looks back at the feather in his hands still. "Maybe I was just holding onto the pillow too long and I ripped a feather out of it." He looked at the Shu doll and hugged it thinking there will be a I love you Yuki, or a I'm going to be your guardian angel! He tried and hugged it tightly and close, but nothing happened. He looked at it again and hugged it once more, but like the same effect nothing was said.

Yuki placed the doll down on the bed and went into the bathroom and did his daily preparing once again. Coming out with only a towel he grabs a shirt that Shu said he liked on him. It was a dark crimson silk shirt, and he picks out a black pair of tight pants. He placed a black belt in his pants loops, taking a sliver ear ring out of a red velvet box. It was a birthday gift from Shuichi, a new sliver ear ring. He placed the feather in the drawer for safe keeping. He kept the feather in there just in case it was Shuichi's. He didn't want to make it seem like he didn't care.

Yuki grabbed his coat and keys heading for the door, when there was a knock. Opening the door he saw that Hiroshi Nakano was there. He knew him well; of coarse it was after all Shuichi's best friend and guitarist of Shuichi's hit band Bad Luck. He stared at the reddish brown haired man, with broad shoulders and a soft smile. He had on a black and baby blue winter jacket, and jeans to match it all. Yuki just stood there before letting the guitarist in his home.

"Um yeah can I help you?"Yuki didn't really mean to sound annoyed, but it just happened.

"As a matter of fact Yuki-san, I was wondering how you were today. Everybody and including your family was worried about you and so I stopped by."

"I'm fine, I was just about to get breakfast and come home to finish my half done deadline."

"Well if that's the case, do you mind if we join you?"

Yuki looked puzzled for the moment, for Hiro said 'we'. "Um unless you have an imaginary little friend, who is this 'we' in which you speak of?"

"Very funny Yuki-san, but I was merely speaking of K-san and I."

Yuki cocked an eyebrow and stared at him once more. "I see you…and K huh?"

"Um...Yes it that a problem?

"You and K are going steady huh?" He wanting to laugh his ass off, but his pride was too high for it.

Hiro just blushed and looked away, he wasn't going to say who he was crushing on to Yuki.He just got up and looked back at Yuki."Um...No not really, look you want us to some or what?"

Yuki just got up and placed his coat back on, "Yeah you two can come just don't get on my nerves with bull shit questions." Yuki walked out the door and locked it behind him. After going to K's car he sat in the front and Hiro was pushed in the back seat. He really didn't care all too much, so he let Yuki choose where he was going to sit.

They arrived to a nice breakfast restaurant, after a few arguments of how pricey the place was.Yuki was the first to say something and the last to end it. He was not going to a cheep place to eat breakfast and he made his point very clear.

He got out the car and walked up to the place, not really having to state his name. For Yuki and Shuichi went there for breakfast all the time.Yuki already knew that the others were right behind him. He just walked to a table, not having to have to say his name at all.

It was Shuichi's favorite place to order strawberry pancakes with whipped cream and syrup. Yuki also liked that same thing; of course anything strawberry was good to Yuki's liking.Matter of fact, that was just the same thing he had ordered. He didn't need to look at the menu. He smiled as the waitress grabbed the orders and brought the food quickly.

K ordered waffles and peaches while Hirohi ordered pancakes with blueberries. They sat on the same side, and let Yuki sit on his own side. They really wanted to ask Yuki how has the days been going for him, but didn't know how to ask it. They ate in silence and looked at Yuki only so often. Yuki just looked outside instead of talking to the two.

After a few hours, that seemed like more than hours toYuki. He takes his keys out and opens the door to his apartment. He takes his coat off and lays it in on the edge of the couch. He rubbed his temples and sighed just a bit at himself. He was tired and he missed his lovely Shuichi. Yuki sat on the couch and stared at the empty room.

Yuki closed his eyes and laid his head back on the couch. He started to breathe slowly until he heard rumbling in the next room. He knew that Tahoma wasn't here and his sister wouldn't dare do such a thing. He thought about it, he knew his brother didn't want to die by the wrath of Eiri Yuki. He got up slowly and shouted out loud.

"I order whoever is there to come out!" He was not in the mood to play around.

The sound stopped and everything had stopped moving about. It went silent in the house, and he didn't likethat type of silence. He walked up to the wall and waited to jump, whoever was in his house. Yuki suddenly smelled strawberries and cream coming close to him. Yuki smelled Shuichi's shampoo, which didn't not help his annoyed mood very well. For Yuki was very attracted to that sweet smell. He breathed in the intoxicating sent and let out a soft moan. It didn't leave his lips though, but it sure did want too.

Yuki opened his eyes and looked down to amethyst eyes glaring up at him. He couldn't believe that his Shuichi was really in arms reach. He grabbed his lover, and crushed his lips upon his lovers. Yuki felt his little lover moan in to his kiss, for he was doing the same thing. His hands were slowly moving up Shuichi's white pure shirt. They stopped kissing for the moment and looked at each other. Yuki smiled, more like smirked and kissed his lover's cheek. Yuki saw Shuichi's face turn a deep red color.

Yuki cupped Shuichi's red face into his hands and kissed him softly once more. He lightly licked the bottom of his lover's lip waiting for entrance. Which Shu was gladly to let him enter his mouth, Yuki exploring the familiar cavern. Shu once more moaning at the little acts Yuki knew all to well. They were fighting for dominance, and Yuki had won. Shuichi had to do this hardest thing in his life with Yuki. He pushed Yuki off and looked to the side.

"I'm sorry Yuki, but I can't. I'm your guardian now and we can't do that…Besides I'm a little weak…."

Yuki not really caring what the young male was talking about. "So what brat…."Yuki said while grabbing Shu by the waist, kissing his neck as he did so.

"I said no Yuki!!" He pushed away from Yuki, only to be pushed onto the couch.

Yuki had pinned his little lover to the couch, holding his arms over his head. He did this with one hand, as the other slowly went up the smaller figures white shorts. His face was darkened by his bangs and you couldn't see his smiling face. He started to kiss Shu's soft tender neck slightly biting; only a little bit. He heard the little moans and gasps that Shu had made.

"Y-Yuki…please…n-no you c-can't!!" He moaned and gasped as he was getting kissed and undressed at the same time.

Yuki already had his Shu's shorts unzipped and loose; he had his hands grabbing something. It made shivers up and down his spine as he wiggled. He tried to get away from his lover, but the touches and grabbing was hard to ignore. He took off Shu's shirt and tossed it.Yuki was placing butterfly kissed all over Shuichi's chest. He was licking his nipples and kissing his sides.Slowly, Yuki got to his lover's belly button, lowering his licking he places chaste kisses on Shuichi's lower sides. He was inches away from his lover's manhood. The slow movements made Shuichi moan and shiver under his touch. Yuki used his body to spread Shu's legs open, lowering his shorts to Shuichi's knees. Yuki moves his body upward, making his groin press hard against Shuichi's. He didn't let it be too hard; after all he was gentle to his little lover.

"I ask you Shuichi, do you honestly know how long I wanted to do this to you?"

Shuichi just moaned, at the fact Yuki was whispering in his ear. He let's out small whimpers and little, 'Yuki...Ohh...' he tried his hardest to move from his lover.

Yuki looked at his lover's red face and kissed him. "I wanted to do this to you, for so long…."He smiled as he was about to finish what he had started.

Shuichi arched his body up and made Yuki loose only a little grip of his hands. Shuichi got one hand free and slapped Yuki across the face.

"YUKI IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WOULD STOP!!!" He shouted out as he saw the side of Yuki's face start to turn red. "Yuki I understand how you feel, but stop!" He was mad now and he showed it in his soft voice. "I love you, but I can't make love with with you... there are rules Yuki about that….."

Yuki didn't say nothing, and noting at all. He just got his hand from under Shu's shorts and laid them on his sides. He just got off his lover and sat on his knees. His hair was covering his face as he looked down. He was hurt and broken, not by the words but the fact he couldn't love Shu. Shuichi cupped his lover's face and hugged him tightly in his arms. Shuichi was on his knees hugging Yuki and pulling his shorts back on.

"I see well isn't this a pretty sight?" Shuichi holding Yuki and Yuki getting held by his guardian……"The man said with a sneaky smile.

"You are the one who is torturing my Yuki like this!!!!" Shuichi said as he stood up wings bared to cover his lover's body. Yuki wasn't moving nor talking and he didn't know why. The enemy was in their house, and it was Shuichi's turn to do the protecting…….But how could he do this weak?...

I am very sorry if it's a little long and such. You see I kind of gotten a little too interested in it myself. And so I just hope you all like it so far. If it is getting enough reviews and people are reading it, I shall continue it a little more than just end it. Well I'm off, to write Chapter 5, until then with much love...OH READ and REVIEW please! -bows-

.:Captara:.

A.K.A

.:Yuki-san:.