Title: Conversation
Series: Cry
Author: Sarah K.
Email: TwirlGirl2008@bolt.com
Disclaimer: Joss's
Timeline: After Becoming pt 2, kind of an alternate Anne
Spoilers: Up to Becoming 2
Summary: Buffy's in really bad shape after Becoming part 2, living in LA,
when suddenly Angel shows up.
Distribution: Want it? Take it. Just email me.
Feedback: PLEEEEEEEEASSEEEE!
Rating: R
*******
I woke up and sniffled a little. I had to stop this dream stuff. I'd be going crazy soon. But not that I wasn't already ...
I felt him shift and a huge smile spread across my face. I untangled myself from his arms and threw myself on top of him. I started kissing him desperately, little butterfly kisses all over his face, arms, neck, chest, anywhere. I loved him so much. He was here!
"Wha ... What is it? Buffy?" He stared up at me, amazed at my behavior.
"You're *kiss* here! With *kiss* me!" I giggled, suddenly giddy with happiness.
"Of course! Do you think I would leave you?" He smiled at me, happy to see that I was happy.
That put a damper on my mood. I felt I owed him an explanation. I didn't want to. Did I really have to?
He looked up at me with pleasant but confused eyes.
I had to.
"Well ... I mean, I ... no, but after you being ... not you ... and then ... dead ... and ..." I choked back some tears and settled down on his chest. He visibly stiffened.
"I swear, I won't ever leave you again. Honestly, I swear. I'd rather die than do this to you again. I love you." he seemed nervous, waiting for me, like I would say I didn't want him anymore, I didn't accept his apology. As if.
"Right. I know, I just ... I don't know. I got scared. I love you too. I'm sorry." I tried to apologize, tried to smooth everything over.
He gave me a sad smile and I accepted that. I settled on his chest and closed my eyes, deciding I wanted to sleep again.
"More sleep?" he asked. I nodded.
"How about I get you something to eat? Or ... how about a shower? Do you feel up to it?"
"Okay." I sleepily agreed. He got up and pulled the covers off of me. God, it was so cold! I curled up in a ball and tried not to shiver. In a second, his arms were around me, cradling me and warming me, even though he was cold too. He picked me up, still curled in a ball, and carried me to the bathroom. He turned on a tap, set me down, and started towards the door.
"Wh-Where are you going?" I asked, afraid to be alone. "You can't exactly shower with me in here." he grinned.
"I don't want to be alone." I whispered quickly, not making eye contact.
"How about I wait right outside the door?"
I shook my head no. I knew I was being incredibly childish, that I would be fine alone. But still, the feeling I got when he left, it ate at me, like it wanted to kill me. "Please?"
He gave a small sigh. Wait, what if he didn't want to? I mean, after we ... made love, ... I mean, who would ever want to see ME after THAT?!
"It's okay. You don't have to." I swallowed hard and prepared myself for that strange hole-in-my-heart-type pain.
"No, I'll stay if you want me to ..." he had a weird fear in his eyes.
"Thank you." I gave him a small smile, and looked up at him, exactly like I did that night. Privacy. I needed it, and I didn't want to say so. The memory brought back pain. I was so shy, naive. I would let him stare at me every night for the rest of my life if he wanted to, no matter how embarrassed I felt. If he wanted it, I would let him have it.
He turned around and I undressed. He had bought soap, my favorite shampoo, conditioner and bubble bath wherever he had gone shopping. I generously poured bubble bath into the water and the sweet smell made me dizzy.
I started to fall but he scooped me up and lowered me into the tub, carefully averting his eyes the whole time. I shivered a little from the sudden warmth, and he kindly rubbed my back to calm me. He sat on the floor on the other side of the tub and started massaging my back and legs with the the soapy sponge.
I laid there for a few minutes, just enjoying the feel of the warm water and Angel's touch.
"I love you." he decided to break the silence.
"I love you too." I replied. One question had been on my mind since I had gotten into the bath, but I was way too ashamed to ask it. But this was Angel, right? What could he possibly say?
Well, okay. He could say some awful things. But he wouldn't, not to me, right?
"Angel?" I asked in a small voice, closing my eyes.
"Yeah?" "Umm ... can we ... um, talk?"
"Of course." He massaged my toes and made me giggle, lightening the mood for about a tenth of a second.
"Um ... that night ... when we ... um ... you know ... the night after ... what you, um, said ... it was true, wasn't it?" I lowered my eyes to my hands, which were nervously wringing.
"What?" He was confused. Great, now I actually had to say it.
"Um ... you um, said that ... I was awful, that I ... um ... had a lot to learn about ... men? I guess? And I ... um ... you meant it, didn't you?" I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He had stopped massaging my back. Bad, bad sign. He remained silent for a few minutes, and then made a weird noise. I don't even know what it was. Like a sob, maybe, but there was a frustrated scream in there, and an angry grunt kind of thing, and his voice broke halfway through it. Fabulous, now I was making him sound like a caveman.
"I'm sorry. I, um, you don't have to say anything."
"Oh God, Buffy. I forgot. I forgot about that." He was crying. I finally get the courage to look up at him, and he's crying, and then I decide to die. I slid down the edge of the tub and beneath the water, deciding that if I drowned, he'd be happier.
He stared at me through the water, his face blurry. His eyes widened and he yelled my name, trying to pull me up. I shook my head no, but he finally brought me up and I gasped for air through some sobs.
"I'm sorry I was bad. I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted. I'm so sorry I don't have experience and I can't give you everything and I'm sorry that I sent you to Hell and that I was awful to you and it's all my fault and God, please don't cry! Please!" I screamed, begging him to stop. I couldn't see him cry. I couldn't.
"Buffy!" He screamed. "What the Hell are you trying to do?!?" He shook my shoulders violently and I tried to pull away. He was acting too closely to Angelus, even if it was out of concern, even if it was my fault for freaking out.
I was huddled in the corner of the tub away from the wall that separated us, afraid to move or to say anything.
"Buffy," He began quietly, unsure of me and himself and ... well ... probably everything. "I'm sorry for shaking you and yelling, I'm not mad, just upset. Why were you crying? And why were you holding yourself under water? For God's sake, Buffy, I need you, you can't go and drown yourself!"
"I ... Okay, I'm going to get everything out in one big long speech and you're not going to interrupt me. Got it?"
He nodded.
"I asked you what you thought of me the night we made love. And you didn't really say anything; you just made this weird noise. I took it as bad, because I'm really, really, incredibly touchy on the whole subject, and honestly, I have good reason to be. And I feel so bad about everything, about being bad when we're ... um ... in bed, about killing you, sending you to Hell, wanting to kill you the whole time you were evil, still loving you the whole time you were evil, being sick now, ruining your life now, not being able to make love to you, not being able to do anything. I know it's my fault. And I know you don't blame me because you're too good to do that and you think it's your entire fault, but deep in our hearts we both know, it was me to begin with. I'm in a really yucky mood and your little noise thing set me off. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. And I'm sick of saying sorry. But I don't know what else to say, I don't know how to make it up to you. I can't miraculously learn how to have decent sex and be beautiful and polite and correct and smart and everything *else* you should have. So I thought that maybe you would be happier if I just ... died. I don't even understand why you're here now because if I were you, I'd never want to see me again. I'm glad you're here, I would just die if you weren't, and I'm sorry for that too. Sorry that I'm so dependent. Sorry that I love you. Sorry that you're this beautiful, knowledgeable, graceful, caring, kind and loving person and I can't return any of that to you." I didn't even cry. I was downright proud of myself. I just warily picked my eyes up, from my hands to his face, his beautiful face, which was now a mixture of emotions, and then to his eyes, which were even more emotion filled.
"I ... I ..." He shook his head, speechless. Ha, I guess it's true. Everything is possible. I made *Angel* gawk.
He pulled me to him and crushed my wet body to his, weeping and murmuring words of love to me. Was it because I made him happy or sad? I don't know. Whatever. He didn't seem upset in a mad way anymore.
******
She was SUCH a hypocrite. She had just said that she wasn't good in bed, beautiful, smart, and loving. All of which she has so much of.
She said she loved me. She had told me she loved me, even when I was evil. She said I had hurt her.
Oh my God. I had hurt her.
"I ... I ..." I tried to say something, but my tongue was temporarily not functioning. I cried. I had hurt her, so much. I had hurt my beautiful, loving, beloved Buffy. The need for contact with her soft skin overcame me and I reached out, gently bringing her to me. She was shivering as usual, wet with cold water that soaked throguh my clothes, but I didn't care. I hugged her so tightly that I think she would have suffocated if it weren't for her slayer abilities.
"I love you, you know that. You *are* beautiful. So beautiful, I've never seen anything more beautiful. You're smart, smarter than me. You're young and carefree and loving and free and kind and I love you so much. Please don't blame yourself. Please, stop all of the guilt. You're too young to have it. Forget about it, give it to me, anything. You can't ruin your life like this." I whispered in her ear.
She gave me a small, soft, sweet smile. I emptied the bathtub and started to re-fill it with warm water so we could get her clean. She crawled onto the floor and curled up to keep warm. I reached out to hug her but then I realized I wouldn't help, I would just make her colder, and so I wrapped a blanket around her instead.
"Afraid to hug me?" She teased.
"I would love to, but I'd make you colder." I said sadly, staring at the half full bathtub.
"Never gonna happen." She crawled into my lap and curled up there. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her and she smiled. After getting into the tub and washing herself, all with me watching, and yes, she let me watch, before you start to ask, I started to massage her back again.
"You know, I've never been happier with another woman." I whispered.
"What?"
"In bed. You're not awful. You're young, sure, but I love you so much more than any other woman I was ever with. And no other woman has ever been like you. What I said, when I was evil, it was a lie. Everything was. You know that, right?"
She looked up at me with these huge hopeful eyes. Like a little puppy dog, about to be taken home from the pound. "Really? You mean it? You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
"I really mean it. I love you." I dropped a kiss on her crown before drying her off with a fluffy towel. She gave me this huge, grateful smile.
"Thank you, so much." She said.
"For what?" I casually asked.
"For everything? For coming back, for loving me, for taking care of me." "Any time." I smiled, and picked her up before carrying her to her room. I sat her on the chair and quickly changed her sheets into the new ones I had bought.
She walked over to them, ran her fingers along them, inhaled their clean scent, and laid down on them. "Satin?! You bought me satin sheets?!"
"Of course, only the best." I gave her a warm smile, but she already had her eyes closed and was half asleep. I tucked her in and gave her a quick kiss before leaving the room.
******
"Angel?!" He wasn't there. He wasn't here! "ANGEL?!"
No, wait. He promised he wouldn't leave me. He swore. He was in a different room or something. He had to be. Right. So. Sleep.
But I couldn't. As usual. What was my problem? Anyway, I would just get up quickly, go into the kitchen, make sure he was okay, maybe eat some of those nifty Apple Cinnamon Cheerios he had bought ... How could I have missed those when I was a kid? They were awesome!
Anyway, I quietly crept into the kitchen and there he was, sure as day, or in his case, night, staring into a mug of blood. He gave it a disgusted look before bringing it to his lips and quickly draining it.
When he brought it back down, I jumped back. He had morphed into game face, and it just surprised me. It didn't really bother me. I mean, he was beautiful, fangs or no. I love him. I always will. But it brought back memories ... unpleasant ones. Ones I never wanted.
"Buffy?" His head whipped in my direction. His yellow eyes widened before they squeezed shut and he forced himself to change back.
"Hi." I whispered.
"Sorry." He cleared his throat.
"It's okay." I smiled reassuringly. "Do you want more? Do you ... want me to leave?"
"No!" He blurted too quickly. "Um, no, it's, it's okay. Do you need something?"
I smiled. "Food? Food would be good."
"Of course. What do you want?" "Anything. I think I'm gonna die I'm so hungry." he shuddered immediately, and I grew concerned. "What?"
"Don't even think that, Buffy. I couldn't handle it ... I - It would be all my fault because I didn't feed you and ... just don't. Please. It hurts."
Aww. How sweet was that? But still. I didn't want him to be sad!
"It won't happen. I promise. I'll stay here as long as you want me to. Okay?" I slipped my arms around is waist, trying to comfort him. It seemed perfectly natural.
He jumped back a little.
"What is it now?" I asked quietly, a little frustrated.
"Oh, it's ... it's not you, it's just ... it's been so long since someone showed physical affection. In Hell, it seems like ... nothing." He abruptly shook his head. "Nevermind." He wrapped his arms back around me.
"No, you can tell me. Go ahead." I prompted quietly.
"I ... um ... Hell was ... Hell. You don't need to hear about it." He put on a resolved face, and I knew to give up. Those doors weren't going to be opened today, and they weren't going to be opened for a while. And that was fine. I respected his privacy, his comfortableness, everything. I respected him so much. Whatever he needed.
"Okay." I nodded my head. "Food? Please? And a chair, before I fall over, I feel kinda weak ..." I trailed off, wandering over to the table.
"Want anything specific?"
"Um ... Do you have eggs?"
"Yep." He gave me a half smile and set to scrambling some eggs.
Just then I heard a ringing. Like ... almost like the ringing of a cell phone. But, yeah right, because when I had enough money for food, then I would think about money for clothes and a million other things before a cell phone. A cell would be, like, 45 years at the Diner from now.
But Angel, Angel of all people, pulled a cell out of his pocket, as if he had used one since the 1700's. But that wasn't what amazed me. What he said to the person on the other line was wayyy more mind-blowing.
"Hey, Giles. How are you?"
*******
I woke up and sniffled a little. I had to stop this dream stuff. I'd be going crazy soon. But not that I wasn't already ...
I felt him shift and a huge smile spread across my face. I untangled myself from his arms and threw myself on top of him. I started kissing him desperately, little butterfly kisses all over his face, arms, neck, chest, anywhere. I loved him so much. He was here!
"Wha ... What is it? Buffy?" He stared up at me, amazed at my behavior.
"You're *kiss* here! With *kiss* me!" I giggled, suddenly giddy with happiness.
"Of course! Do you think I would leave you?" He smiled at me, happy to see that I was happy.
That put a damper on my mood. I felt I owed him an explanation. I didn't want to. Did I really have to?
He looked up at me with pleasant but confused eyes.
I had to.
"Well ... I mean, I ... no, but after you being ... not you ... and then ... dead ... and ..." I choked back some tears and settled down on his chest. He visibly stiffened.
"I swear, I won't ever leave you again. Honestly, I swear. I'd rather die than do this to you again. I love you." he seemed nervous, waiting for me, like I would say I didn't want him anymore, I didn't accept his apology. As if.
"Right. I know, I just ... I don't know. I got scared. I love you too. I'm sorry." I tried to apologize, tried to smooth everything over.
He gave me a sad smile and I accepted that. I settled on his chest and closed my eyes, deciding I wanted to sleep again.
"More sleep?" he asked. I nodded.
"How about I get you something to eat? Or ... how about a shower? Do you feel up to it?"
"Okay." I sleepily agreed. He got up and pulled the covers off of me. God, it was so cold! I curled up in a ball and tried not to shiver. In a second, his arms were around me, cradling me and warming me, even though he was cold too. He picked me up, still curled in a ball, and carried me to the bathroom. He turned on a tap, set me down, and started towards the door.
"Wh-Where are you going?" I asked, afraid to be alone. "You can't exactly shower with me in here." he grinned.
"I don't want to be alone." I whispered quickly, not making eye contact.
"How about I wait right outside the door?"
I shook my head no. I knew I was being incredibly childish, that I would be fine alone. But still, the feeling I got when he left, it ate at me, like it wanted to kill me. "Please?"
He gave a small sigh. Wait, what if he didn't want to? I mean, after we ... made love, ... I mean, who would ever want to see ME after THAT?!
"It's okay. You don't have to." I swallowed hard and prepared myself for that strange hole-in-my-heart-type pain.
"No, I'll stay if you want me to ..." he had a weird fear in his eyes.
"Thank you." I gave him a small smile, and looked up at him, exactly like I did that night. Privacy. I needed it, and I didn't want to say so. The memory brought back pain. I was so shy, naive. I would let him stare at me every night for the rest of my life if he wanted to, no matter how embarrassed I felt. If he wanted it, I would let him have it.
He turned around and I undressed. He had bought soap, my favorite shampoo, conditioner and bubble bath wherever he had gone shopping. I generously poured bubble bath into the water and the sweet smell made me dizzy.
I started to fall but he scooped me up and lowered me into the tub, carefully averting his eyes the whole time. I shivered a little from the sudden warmth, and he kindly rubbed my back to calm me. He sat on the floor on the other side of the tub and started massaging my back and legs with the the soapy sponge.
I laid there for a few minutes, just enjoying the feel of the warm water and Angel's touch.
"I love you." he decided to break the silence.
"I love you too." I replied. One question had been on my mind since I had gotten into the bath, but I was way too ashamed to ask it. But this was Angel, right? What could he possibly say?
Well, okay. He could say some awful things. But he wouldn't, not to me, right?
"Angel?" I asked in a small voice, closing my eyes.
"Yeah?" "Umm ... can we ... um, talk?"
"Of course." He massaged my toes and made me giggle, lightening the mood for about a tenth of a second.
"Um ... that night ... when we ... um ... you know ... the night after ... what you, um, said ... it was true, wasn't it?" I lowered my eyes to my hands, which were nervously wringing.
"What?" He was confused. Great, now I actually had to say it.
"Um ... you um, said that ... I was awful, that I ... um ... had a lot to learn about ... men? I guess? And I ... um ... you meant it, didn't you?" I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He had stopped massaging my back. Bad, bad sign. He remained silent for a few minutes, and then made a weird noise. I don't even know what it was. Like a sob, maybe, but there was a frustrated scream in there, and an angry grunt kind of thing, and his voice broke halfway through it. Fabulous, now I was making him sound like a caveman.
"I'm sorry. I, um, you don't have to say anything."
"Oh God, Buffy. I forgot. I forgot about that." He was crying. I finally get the courage to look up at him, and he's crying, and then I decide to die. I slid down the edge of the tub and beneath the water, deciding that if I drowned, he'd be happier.
He stared at me through the water, his face blurry. His eyes widened and he yelled my name, trying to pull me up. I shook my head no, but he finally brought me up and I gasped for air through some sobs.
"I'm sorry I was bad. I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted. I'm so sorry I don't have experience and I can't give you everything and I'm sorry that I sent you to Hell and that I was awful to you and it's all my fault and God, please don't cry! Please!" I screamed, begging him to stop. I couldn't see him cry. I couldn't.
"Buffy!" He screamed. "What the Hell are you trying to do?!?" He shook my shoulders violently and I tried to pull away. He was acting too closely to Angelus, even if it was out of concern, even if it was my fault for freaking out.
I was huddled in the corner of the tub away from the wall that separated us, afraid to move or to say anything.
"Buffy," He began quietly, unsure of me and himself and ... well ... probably everything. "I'm sorry for shaking you and yelling, I'm not mad, just upset. Why were you crying? And why were you holding yourself under water? For God's sake, Buffy, I need you, you can't go and drown yourself!"
"I ... Okay, I'm going to get everything out in one big long speech and you're not going to interrupt me. Got it?"
He nodded.
"I asked you what you thought of me the night we made love. And you didn't really say anything; you just made this weird noise. I took it as bad, because I'm really, really, incredibly touchy on the whole subject, and honestly, I have good reason to be. And I feel so bad about everything, about being bad when we're ... um ... in bed, about killing you, sending you to Hell, wanting to kill you the whole time you were evil, still loving you the whole time you were evil, being sick now, ruining your life now, not being able to make love to you, not being able to do anything. I know it's my fault. And I know you don't blame me because you're too good to do that and you think it's your entire fault, but deep in our hearts we both know, it was me to begin with. I'm in a really yucky mood and your little noise thing set me off. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. And I'm sick of saying sorry. But I don't know what else to say, I don't know how to make it up to you. I can't miraculously learn how to have decent sex and be beautiful and polite and correct and smart and everything *else* you should have. So I thought that maybe you would be happier if I just ... died. I don't even understand why you're here now because if I were you, I'd never want to see me again. I'm glad you're here, I would just die if you weren't, and I'm sorry for that too. Sorry that I'm so dependent. Sorry that I love you. Sorry that you're this beautiful, knowledgeable, graceful, caring, kind and loving person and I can't return any of that to you." I didn't even cry. I was downright proud of myself. I just warily picked my eyes up, from my hands to his face, his beautiful face, which was now a mixture of emotions, and then to his eyes, which were even more emotion filled.
"I ... I ..." He shook his head, speechless. Ha, I guess it's true. Everything is possible. I made *Angel* gawk.
He pulled me to him and crushed my wet body to his, weeping and murmuring words of love to me. Was it because I made him happy or sad? I don't know. Whatever. He didn't seem upset in a mad way anymore.
******
She was SUCH a hypocrite. She had just said that she wasn't good in bed, beautiful, smart, and loving. All of which she has so much of.
She said she loved me. She had told me she loved me, even when I was evil. She said I had hurt her.
Oh my God. I had hurt her.
"I ... I ..." I tried to say something, but my tongue was temporarily not functioning. I cried. I had hurt her, so much. I had hurt my beautiful, loving, beloved Buffy. The need for contact with her soft skin overcame me and I reached out, gently bringing her to me. She was shivering as usual, wet with cold water that soaked throguh my clothes, but I didn't care. I hugged her so tightly that I think she would have suffocated if it weren't for her slayer abilities.
"I love you, you know that. You *are* beautiful. So beautiful, I've never seen anything more beautiful. You're smart, smarter than me. You're young and carefree and loving and free and kind and I love you so much. Please don't blame yourself. Please, stop all of the guilt. You're too young to have it. Forget about it, give it to me, anything. You can't ruin your life like this." I whispered in her ear.
She gave me a small, soft, sweet smile. I emptied the bathtub and started to re-fill it with warm water so we could get her clean. She crawled onto the floor and curled up to keep warm. I reached out to hug her but then I realized I wouldn't help, I would just make her colder, and so I wrapped a blanket around her instead.
"Afraid to hug me?" She teased.
"I would love to, but I'd make you colder." I said sadly, staring at the half full bathtub.
"Never gonna happen." She crawled into my lap and curled up there. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her and she smiled. After getting into the tub and washing herself, all with me watching, and yes, she let me watch, before you start to ask, I started to massage her back again.
"You know, I've never been happier with another woman." I whispered.
"What?"
"In bed. You're not awful. You're young, sure, but I love you so much more than any other woman I was ever with. And no other woman has ever been like you. What I said, when I was evil, it was a lie. Everything was. You know that, right?"
She looked up at me with these huge hopeful eyes. Like a little puppy dog, about to be taken home from the pound. "Really? You mean it? You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
"I really mean it. I love you." I dropped a kiss on her crown before drying her off with a fluffy towel. She gave me this huge, grateful smile.
"Thank you, so much." She said.
"For what?" I casually asked.
"For everything? For coming back, for loving me, for taking care of me." "Any time." I smiled, and picked her up before carrying her to her room. I sat her on the chair and quickly changed her sheets into the new ones I had bought.
She walked over to them, ran her fingers along them, inhaled their clean scent, and laid down on them. "Satin?! You bought me satin sheets?!"
"Of course, only the best." I gave her a warm smile, but she already had her eyes closed and was half asleep. I tucked her in and gave her a quick kiss before leaving the room.
******
"Angel?!" He wasn't there. He wasn't here! "ANGEL?!"
No, wait. He promised he wouldn't leave me. He swore. He was in a different room or something. He had to be. Right. So. Sleep.
But I couldn't. As usual. What was my problem? Anyway, I would just get up quickly, go into the kitchen, make sure he was okay, maybe eat some of those nifty Apple Cinnamon Cheerios he had bought ... How could I have missed those when I was a kid? They were awesome!
Anyway, I quietly crept into the kitchen and there he was, sure as day, or in his case, night, staring into a mug of blood. He gave it a disgusted look before bringing it to his lips and quickly draining it.
When he brought it back down, I jumped back. He had morphed into game face, and it just surprised me. It didn't really bother me. I mean, he was beautiful, fangs or no. I love him. I always will. But it brought back memories ... unpleasant ones. Ones I never wanted.
"Buffy?" His head whipped in my direction. His yellow eyes widened before they squeezed shut and he forced himself to change back.
"Hi." I whispered.
"Sorry." He cleared his throat.
"It's okay." I smiled reassuringly. "Do you want more? Do you ... want me to leave?"
"No!" He blurted too quickly. "Um, no, it's, it's okay. Do you need something?"
I smiled. "Food? Food would be good."
"Of course. What do you want?" "Anything. I think I'm gonna die I'm so hungry." he shuddered immediately, and I grew concerned. "What?"
"Don't even think that, Buffy. I couldn't handle it ... I - It would be all my fault because I didn't feed you and ... just don't. Please. It hurts."
Aww. How sweet was that? But still. I didn't want him to be sad!
"It won't happen. I promise. I'll stay here as long as you want me to. Okay?" I slipped my arms around is waist, trying to comfort him. It seemed perfectly natural.
He jumped back a little.
"What is it now?" I asked quietly, a little frustrated.
"Oh, it's ... it's not you, it's just ... it's been so long since someone showed physical affection. In Hell, it seems like ... nothing." He abruptly shook his head. "Nevermind." He wrapped his arms back around me.
"No, you can tell me. Go ahead." I prompted quietly.
"I ... um ... Hell was ... Hell. You don't need to hear about it." He put on a resolved face, and I knew to give up. Those doors weren't going to be opened today, and they weren't going to be opened for a while. And that was fine. I respected his privacy, his comfortableness, everything. I respected him so much. Whatever he needed.
"Okay." I nodded my head. "Food? Please? And a chair, before I fall over, I feel kinda weak ..." I trailed off, wandering over to the table.
"Want anything specific?"
"Um ... Do you have eggs?"
"Yep." He gave me a half smile and set to scrambling some eggs.
Just then I heard a ringing. Like ... almost like the ringing of a cell phone. But, yeah right, because when I had enough money for food, then I would think about money for clothes and a million other things before a cell phone. A cell would be, like, 45 years at the Diner from now.
But Angel, Angel of all people, pulled a cell out of his pocket, as if he had used one since the 1700's. But that wasn't what amazed me. What he said to the person on the other line was wayyy more mind-blowing.
"Hey, Giles. How are you?"