Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
"Wheels within Wheels"
By Violetlight
Author's note: The legend that is told near the end of this chapter is based off of the real, ancient Greek myth of Eris, the goddess of discord (and the namesake of the solar system's newest [dwarf] planet), and formed the "prequel" tale for Homer's epics, the Iliad and the Odyssey, some of the greatest works of literature ever written. If you haven't read an English translation of at least the Odyssey, I definitely recommend it. I gave it my own little twist here, renaming the characters of the myth after FMA characters. Anyway, I hope Envy doesn't seem too OOC in this chapter. Please let me know if there's anything I can improve upon.
Chapter 4: Paradise Lost?
The simple bottle of milk sat innocently on the stand, oblivious to the hatred directed towards it.
"We meet again, my arch-nemesis..." Before Edward Elric could continue on his customary rant to an inanimate object, the offending bottle was snatched away from him.
"Yoink!" Alphonse laughed, as he opened the bottle and downed the milk in one gulp.
"Hey, that was my arch-nemesis!" his brother complained.
"You weren't doing anything but looking at it like it said something offensive to you, brother."
"It's milk. It's like the homunculus of drinks; it's very existence is offensive."
Alphonse ignored him. "When we get home, I'm going to drink a gallon of milk, and get Winry to make me her famous apple pie! I'm not sharing either – an entire pie, all to myself. And I'm gonna ... where's my book of things I'm going to eat?"
"Sorry Al, I think it got burned up in the battle."
"Awww! That sucks! I spent years writing that! Oh well, I'm sure I can remember most of it."
As Alphonse began to scribble something onto a piece of paper – no doubt what he could remember from his food journal - Edward could not help but give his brother a small smile. "Ever the optimist, eh Al?"
His atrophied, still-scruffy-looking brother smiled back. "Hey, I'm able to eat again because of you, brother."
What a change from the suit of armour Alphonse's soul had been stuck in for so long. "I couldn't have done it without you." Edward said.
"Aww, quit getting all mushy. Besides, we still need to figure out a way to restore your leg ... Oh! A Rushwater Valley Special sandwich! What was on it again? Chicken and mustard on rye, or turkey and mayo on whole wheat?"
"Don't worry about that. I mean, I never really cared about my own limbs." Edward tapped his automail toes absent-mindedly. "Besides, it gives us another excuse to go bug Winry. She'll know what kind of sandwich that was too."
"Great idea! Let's go visit her as soon as we're out of here!"
"Yeah, she'll be thrilled to see you're back to your old self, and Granny will make sure you'll get to eat something besides hospital food."
"Hey, after how many years without taste buds, even hospital food is good. By the way, are you going to eat that pickle from your lunch?" Alphonse asked.
"Go right ahead, Al." As his brother loudly declared his love for vegetables – something their mother never would have believed – Edward got up from his bed, wincing as his broken flesh-and-blood arm moved awkwardly, and opened their window. Outside, it was a beautiful spring day, sunny but a bit breezy, with the sound of birds chirping filling his ears. April 24th, a day that came perilously close to not coming at all for anyone except for one deranged homunculus ...
Before Edward's thoughts could continue to dwell on the previous day's events, he heard an enthusiastic, little-girl shriek of his brother's name – "Alphooooonse!"
"Ah! May!" Al managed to squeak out. Ed turned around, to see his brother blushing beet red, May Chang hugging him happily, and a miniature panda practically doing a victory dance at her friend's glee.
"You really are so much taller and handsomer than your brother!" May squealed, still hugging Al like he was her favourite stuffed toy.
"Hey, I'm right here, you know!" Ed interjected.
"How can you even tell? I'm sitting down." Al protested.
"May, calm down! Don't break him!" Ed tried to pry the excited young Xingese princess off his brother. "Just what are you doing here? I thought you, Ling and Lan Fan would be halfway back to Xing by now."
May slightly – only slightly – loosened her death grip, noticing Alphonse's atrophied state, and let the boy take a breath. "You don't think we'd just leave without saying goodbye, did you?" She asked Ed, rhetorically. "Well, you might have, but my real Fullmetal Alchemist wouldn't." She snuggled closer against a further-reddening Alphonse.
"So where are Ling and Lan Fan?" Alphonse asked, while trying to wiggle out of May's hug.
"I bet I know." Edward smirked, and made fake kissy noises.
"Ewww, Edward, you pervert! No, Lan Fan just needed some adjustments done on her automail after, well, yesterday." May said. "They'll be in as soon as the doctor's done with her check up."
"I'm beginning to think you're incapable of keeping that friggin' arm in one piece." Dr. Knox frowned as he put away his rather unusual medical tool – a screwdriver – into one of the drawers in the small examination room, and continued to scold Lan Fan. "I don't know what you've done to get your automail in such as state and after what I've heard about the ... events of yesterday, I don't want to know. You're very lucky your nerve connections weren't torn completely out."
"I'll make sure she doesn't put her arm under anymore stress, doctor." Ling assured him.
The grumpy coroner scoffed. "Sure you will. You did one hell of a job last time." Knox mumbled. "That should do for now, but get to a proper automail mechanic and have him or her do a double check to make sure before you return to ... where was it again?"
When "Lan Fan" did not answer, Ling pinched her lightly on the neck, right near where her high cloak collar was hiding her other "medical anomaly".
"Um, Xing. Thank you, doctor." 'Lan Fan' answered softly, and tried not to cringe at having to thank the human.
"Whatever. Take better care of your girlfriend from now on, young man." The doctor said as he left.
At the doctor's departing words, both Ling and Envy made faces of disgust as soon as the old man was gone. "Ugh, no offence Lan Fan, if you're listening, but you are so not my girlfriend." Ling complained. It was obvious who he meant by "you".
"You're not that lucky, Prince Charming, and she's not." Envy said. "Unlike my idiot brother, when I take someone over, they don't get to comment from the peanut gallery." She clenched and unclenched Lan Fan's automail fist. "This is so weird ..."
"Tell me about it." Ling scoffed.
"Not just our ... situation." Envy moved Lan Fan's arm up and down experimentally. "This automail. I mean, it's metal, just cold, unfeeling metal, but it's hooked right up to your nerves. Heh. The lengths humans will go to cover for their imperfection. Regenerating is so much better."
"Yeah, so we can't just take the easy way out. Poor us." Ling said sarcastically. "Well, don't just sit there playing with 'your'self. There are people here I actually want to spend time with."
"As much fun as hanging out with the Pipsqueak sounds, why can't I just read crappy magazines in the waiting room again?" Envy complained.
"After what you said on the way in, I'm not letting you out of my sight." Ling said, and harshly grabbed Envy's wrist. "Come on, May has probably already pounced on Alphonse by now. The Elrics will be waiting for Lan Fan and I."
"I still think it's a good idea, I mean, half the humans in here are going to die soon anyway." Envy said as Ling pulled her down the hallway. "Although, a lot of them are old. Younger souls are so much more potent." Envy's trademark slasher grin once again crossed Lan Fan's face. "That reminds me, do you have any idea which daycare Little Miss Hughes goes to?"
Ling stopped suddenly. "I'm sorry, Lan Fan." He said, a little too calmly for Envy's liking, before he turned around and slapped her, hard, across the face. "One more comment like that, and forget mailing you to Mustang – I'll deliver you personally!"
"But Greed..."
"Fuck Greed."
Ling expected another smart ass remark from Envy at that (probably along the lines of "I intend to"), but, surprisingly, the homunculus was silent for the rest of their walk down the hall. Ling did not have time to dwell on that thought, as he heard the Elrics' and May's happy voices wafting out from the boys' room. He released his vice grip on Envy's wrist, and instead took Lan Fan's hand. The fact that the homunculus did not immediately protest was enough to ensure him that she got the message – 'keep up appearances'.
"It's so nice of you guys to come visit us before you go back to Xing." Alphonse said, for what must have been the tenth or so time. As annoying as he was – worse than Pride when he was in full "Selim" mode – Envy could not help but stare at the younger Elric. I still can't believe the Pipsqueak actually did it – actually gave that walking tin can his body back.
Envy only half-listened to the ever changing, twisting, sometimes arguing conversation going on between the Elrics, May and Ling. Whenever she started to fidget with boredom, Ling, his arm around Lan Fan's shoulder, would squeeze her lightly, a subtle, non-verbal reminder to not step out of line, to keep playing the role of "happy vassal/girlfriend", and it was annoying the hell out of her. Controlling jerk ... no wonder Greed likes him. What was even worse was that she could not just ignore them completely. She had to nod at appropriate times, give the "proper" response when Alphonse, for example, gave his condolences over Fu's death. In the many long decades of Envy's life, Father had never, ever ordered her to do something so humiliating, to pretend – convincingly - to be part of an idiotic human social group.
No, Envy thought with a nostalgic sigh, Father's orders had been so much simpler. Start a riot here, impersonate someone there ... it was Lust's job to do this nicey nice bullshit, and she was welcome to it! This "friendship" crap is about as interesting as watching Sloth sleep ... hell, even that was more fun. Envy struggled to hold in a set of giggles as she remembered a time when she had used her lazy brother's back as a canvas and had painted all over him without the idiot even catching on. She had even wrote "hey Gluttony, eat me!" on his shoulder, which was a lot funnier before Lust had pointed out that Gluttony couldn't read.
No more Lust to go on missions with , no more Gluttony to feed stupid humans to ... no more Sloth to play pranks on, no more Pride to get in fights with, no more Wrath to piss off ...
And here these humans were, carrying on like they hadn't a care in the world, talking, having fun, including Lan Fan even, when she barely knew them. While Envy would never again have her siblings to argue with, to annoy and be annoyed by ... the homunculi relationships might have been odd, even antagonistic by human standards, but through it all, they had been together. They had each other, and Father, and no one else. No one else would have ever accepted them anyway. They needed no one else!
It's not fair! Why should they have their friends, when my family's dead? All except for Greed ...
Envy turned Lan Fan's head and looked up at Greed's human host. Ling was talking with the Pipsqueak, the two of them in some sort of mock argument over a room service bill or something, any sincerity in their conversation destroyed by their constant breaks into laughter. This Xingese prince ... he was not Greed. He had some similarities, yes, some of the same minor traits, like his avariciousness, but just by the way he spoke, without Greed's sniping, sarcastic, sexy attitude ... he was just another stupid human, not the homunculus she had claimed, not her Greed. The face might be the same, but the difference was all too obvious to Envy.
Yes, the Young Lord is completely different from that monster inside him ...
Where the hell did that thought come from?
Envy felt a motion in Lan Fan's right foot, and looked down to see the big toe wiggling up and down regularly. With a shock, Envy realized that she was not the one doing the wiggling, and she could not stop it! Envy closed Lan Fan's eyes, and did something she had never bothered to do before – mentally spoke directly to her host. Hey you! I'm in charge here; cut it out!
Lan Fan's response was a simple, resolute, No.
I'll suck your soul into my Philosopher's stone if you don't behave. Envy warned. Don't think I won't do it!
I hope you and your incestuous brother burn in hell!
Incestuous? Homonculi don't abide by your stupid human ... hey! You're just trying to distract me!
No affirmation or denial, just infuriating silence from Lan Fan.
Envy sunk her teeth further into Lan Fan's neck, as if tightening her physical hold upon her could reinforce her mental hold. She could literally taste Lan Fan's spinal cord. It was so tempting to just bite down ...
When a flicker of motion caught her attention. Lan Fan had managed to open her eyes herself, and the image that greeted Envy caused her to gasp.
Colonel Mustang, and Hawkeye too, in the doorway.
They had found her!
Mustang may have been dressed in the same hospital garb as the Elrics, leaning on Hawkeye for support, but Envy would not be fooled by him again – no matter how he was dressed, he was no less dangerous. "I thought I recognized those voices. Ling, was it? And Lan Fan? I just wanted to give my thanks again ..." Mustang began. Not that Envy heard that – to her, he might as well have said "I'll be sending you straight to hell now, mwa ha ha ha!"
"I ... I have to go!" Envy practically screamed, and ran past the colonel and up the hospital hallway as fast as Lan Fan's legs would take her.
For a second, the rest of the people in the room were taken aback by Lan Fan's sudden, panicked departure. Until Ling snapped out of his surprise, yelled Lan Fan's name and ran after her.
"What ... what just happened there?" Alphonse asked, blinking in surprise.
"I don't know ... I mean, Lan Fan's been acting weird since her grandfather's funeral." May tried to explain, equally confused. "I think she and Ling had a fight too."
"And there they were, trying to put on happy faces for our sake. I feel so bad now." Alphonse said sadly.
"So do I ... but she took off as soon as the colonel showed up ..." Edward said.
"Don't worry. I mean, we don't take it personally or anything." Hawkeye tried to reassure him. "Maybe having so many people here was just too much for her to cope with, when she's still grieving. We shouldn't have been so thoughtless."
"Yeah, but still ..." Ed started to walk out of the room.
Mustang put a hand on his shoulder before he could leave. "Don't make things worse, Edward. I'm sure Ling can handle it."
"Get back here!" Ling raced down the hallway after Envy, but the panicked homunculus – using Lan Fan's natural speed – was just too fast. Ling could not help but growl in frustration as she turned a corner ...
Then he heard a crash. Ling ran around the corner, to see Lan Fan on the floor, broken dishes and a tipped over hospital cart surrounding her. He took advantage of Envy's slip up, as he grabbed the homunculus by the shoulders and shook her. "What the hell did you think you were doing, you little monster!"
"Li ... Young Lord?"
"Wha ... Lan Fan!" Still wary of a trick, Ling pulled her collar away from her neck carefully, only to find a small, bleeding circular cut. The homunculus was gone!
"Lan Fan! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Ling pulled his vassal into hug, not even caring when Lan Fan stiffened, and blushed in surprise. It didn't matter, she was safe. "I never should have let that monster control you for a second. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Young Lord ... I might not like Greed, but I know why you did it. You never abandon your friends, not when there's any hope." Ling was happily surprised when Lan Fan returned his hug. "That's one of the things I ... I respect most about you. Why I'm proud to serve you ..."
The two Xingese just stayed there for a few moments, hugging each other silently. Neither noticed their observer, who watched not only them, but a tiny, green, lizard-like creature scurry through an air vent.
"He won't ... he won't find me here! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! It's not fair!" Envy crawled down the air vent, still in a blind panic. It did not start to come to its senses until it fell, with a small scream of surprise, through the screen holes of a vent cover and onto a neat stack of sheets. A linen closet, apparently. Envy bounced off the stack of sheets and onto a nearby stack of towels, which still seemed way too big to the little homunculus. Its surroundings only served to frustrate it more.
"I ... I blew it, didn't I?" Realization of the consequences of running away slowly dawned on Envy. "Ling won't trust me again, and I'll never get Greed back now! I'm all alone ... all alone ... it's not fair!" Frustration, anger, guilt, all sorts of emotions threatened to overwhelm Envy. It slammed its little fists against a towel, and started to cry. "It's not fair! Why can't I have my brother back? Greed, I want you back! I don't want to be alone, don't want to! I want all my brothers and sister back! Father! Kill them all! Make it better! Make them pay! Make it stop hurting so much ... it's not fair!"
Envy lost track of time as it cried. It could have been minutes, could have been hours. What did it matter? It just continued to sob into the towel, letting loose all its sadness, grief, self-pity, and, inevitably, envy. "Why why why why why!" It punched the towel in frustration. "It's not faaaaiiiirrrr!" Envy barely even noticed when the sliver of light that came in from under the closet door suddenly grew bigger. It gasped, chocking back another sob as fear overtook sadness. Envy hid behind the towel as best it could.
" 'It's not fair', you say that a lot. I wonder what your basis for comparison is?" that voice ... no, it couldn't be! Envy hesitated, but poked its head out from behind the towel.
"Fa ... Father?" For a second, it appeared like Envy's crying for its parent had actually yielded results. The man in the doorway looked almost just like Father, but where its creator's face would have been stern, probably angry at Envy for succumbing to such weakness as a crying fit, this man's face was calmer ... not quite pitying, more ... understanding?
"No, I'm not your father, little one. Envy, is it?" the twin of Father held out his hand, inviting the tiny homunculus to crawl onto it.
Envy crawled cautiously towards him, and sniffed. "Then you ... you must be Hohenheim, right? Father's ..." it hesitated to use the word "friend" towards a human, even this one.
"I was Slave Number 23, the human that was used to help create your father, yes." Hohenhein answered, sparing Envy the indignity. "He, well, he was like my twin brother. I guess that would make me your uncle. Uncle Van."
Envy crawled onto his hand, and let its "uncle" pick it up. The not-quite human smiled kindly at Envy; his expression made it uncomfortable. "The Elrics are your sons, then. Shouldn't you be with them?" It snivelled, self-pitying.
"I was with them last night, while they slept. They don't need an old man like me anymore, if they ever did to begin with. They have their friends with them." Hohenheim said. "You, on the other hand, if I heard your sobs correctly, you don't have anyone right now, do you?"
"Your sons and their friends would probably say I don't deserve anyone." Envy admitted. "Maybe they're right."
"Yet you're still trying to bring your brother back."
"How ...?"
"Oh, I know enough about my nieces and nephews to know you wouldn't have had anything to do with that Ling fellow unless there was a chance, however small, that Greed was still in there somewhere." Hohenheim said. "I guess you can blame that on me. Edward inherited that trait too, that determination to protect his family."
"It's not quite the same thing."
"No, of course it isn't." Hohenheim carried Envy away from the linen closet, tucking the little homunculus close to his chest so no one would see, and took a seat in the adjacent, vacant examination room. "Will you humour an old man? Let me tell you a story, one from when I was a child in Xerxes, over 400 years ago now."
"Isn't that what human parents do? Tell children stories? Father never did anything like that ..."
"Well, he and I differed on quite a few levels. I think I told this one to the boys when they were young. I'd like you to hear it too."
"... okay. But this is weird."
"Life is weird, Envy." Hohenheim took a breath, and began. "In Xerxes, we believed in not just one god, like the Ishvalans, but in many, and each was an aspect of something in our lives. Of emotions, of natural events, of concepts. Not too different from homunculi, come to think of it. Well, one of these gods was the goddess of mischief and chaos. Wherever a problem was to be found, she was there. If she didn't outright cause it, she made it worse. Her name was Eras."
"Heh. Sounds like my kind of girl."
"Anyway, none of the other gods or mortals liked her very much because of her mischief-causing ways. So one day, when all the other gods were invited to a party, Eras was left out. When they were all having a good time, she was left all alone."
"Jerks."
"Well, yes. Jerks they might have been, but Eras did kind of deserve it. Anyway, she didn't let a lack of an invitation stop her. Eras showed up to the party anyway, and decided to have some fun to get revenge on the other gods for snubbing her. She put a beautiful, golden apple in the middle of a table, with a label attached that said "for the most beautiful goddess". Naturally every goddess there thought that she deserved the apple, and they fought over it. The male gods wanted nothing to do with this argument, so they asked a mortal prince, named Edmund, to judge which goddess should be given the apple. Each of the three major goddesses in turn offered the prince a bribe. Greda, the goddess of political power, offered to make him the most powerful ruler in the world. Prydei, the goddess of wisdom, offered to make him wisest man in the world, but Lusditee, the goddess of love, had the most compelling bribe. She offered him the love of the most beautiful woman in the world. She neglected to mention, of course, that the most beautiful woman in the world, named Winry, ironically, was already married."
"This prince is an idiot. He should have taken Greda or Prydei's offer instead. Why are all princes such morons?" Envy asked.
"I wish I knew the answer to that one. Anyway, the goddesses' quarrelling, and the political mess that Edmund's thinking with his ... gonads caused, led to a war that lasted twenty years and killed many mortal heroes. And it was all caused by Eras' jealousy."
Envy yawned. It could not tell whether it was the earlier stress, or Hohenheim's story that was making it tired. "Do you have a point, old man?"
"A lot was said about the consequences of Eras' actions, but not much was ever said about her. What was the rest of her story? Did she ever get over her jealousy? Did she ever make friends of her own, or even find love? I wonder ..."
The homunculus did not answer him this time. Envy had fallen asleep in Hohenheim's lap.
"I wonder indeed ..."
"Well, it's been fun, Ed, but I guess I'll have to rack up your hospital food bill some other time." Ling smiled at his friend.
"Yeah, well, you still owe me for room service. You'll just have to pay me back when you're Emperor." Edward said. "You two lovebirds try not to traumatize the kid on your way back, okay?"
"I don't think that will be a problem." Ling said, as in the background, Lan Fan was still attempting to pry a sobbing May Chang away from Alphonse.
After a few more minutes of crying on May's part, and begging on Al's, she eventually let go. "I'll miss you, my Fullmetal Alchemist. You'll come to visit, right?" May sniffed.
Alphonse actually smiled at May and, to the amazement of Ling and Ed, put his arms around her, voluntarily. "I'll come and learn alkahestry from you as soon as I can, I promise."
"Well ... that was weird. Anyway, we have a train to catch. Let's get going!" Ling said, his hand behind his head in his usual, cheerful manner.
"Young Lord ... are you sure you want to go just yet?" Lan Fan whispered as she came up beside him. The Elric brothers had gone back into their room, and May Chang was far enough ahead of them that she would not hear.
"... Envy made her choice." Ling said, with finality. "I'll find another way to get Greed back, even if I have to use the Stone."
"But then ... you won't be Emperor."
"I know ... but he saved my life. I owe it to him to bring him back, even if that means giving up my ambitions."
"I don't think your homunculus would agree." A new voice sounded. Ling and Lan Fan turned around. The Elric brothers' father was the last person they had expected to see.
"Mr. Hohenheim," Ling bowed respectfully.
"I believe I have something you need." Hohenheim put his hands in his waistcoat pocket, and gently lifted out Envy. The little green monster was fast asleep in his hands, curled up into a little ball, the end of its tail almost reaching its mouth, like a tiny, living ouroboros. "She had a bit of a fit earlier, and I think she drained most of the energy left in her Philosopher's Stone. She'll be asleep for a while yet."
Ling hesitated for a moment, then rose his left hand to his chest. Greed's ouroborus symbol briefly appeared, but its glow was fainter than before.
"Their survival is in your hands now, Ling Yao." Hohenheim said simply.
"I understand." Ling sighed, and took the sleeping homunculus from Hohenheim's hands, putting her gently into his pocket.
"Try not to let my niece and nephew get in too much trouble." Hohenheim said by way of farewell. He put on his hat, and left through the hospital doors.
"Young Lord ...?" Lan Fan questioned.
"No, I'm not sure about this, but, for Greed's sake, I have to try." Ling took her hand. "Like you said, I can't abandon my friends. I don't want to lose your ... respect, after all."
"No, Young Lord." Lan Fan said simply, as they took their turn through the door. "And you haven't."