Chapter 4

Ciel's POV/

I'm pretty sure my knees, nose, and head are bleeding. My hands seemed to be bound together behind my back and something heavy is on top of me, keeping me on my stomach and something was forcing my head down. My throat and lungs were spasming and my nose was burning horribly, pleading for oxygwn. My head was being held underwater and I was drowning.

When I first came to, all I could feel was the pain in my head and nose, but I was too exhausted to do anything to stop it. Then after a moment of having this be done to me, I began to notice things about my surroundings. The coldness of the water running around and over me was beginning to wake my body up and made me realize how much danger I really was in. I tried to move my body and get whatever it was on top of me off so I could breath but I had no luck do to the fact that my hands wouldn't move, they must have been tied something.

My heart was pounding in my chest and ears, I knew that if I don't get out of here quick I'm going to die. I opened my eyes and only saw complete darkness in the murky water around me and realized my face was being pushed against tiny stones and mud, I was in the river. I had no more air in my body, I must have let it all out before I was shoved under the water, so every part of me hurt so bad, dying for air.

Someone has to be doing this, but who is it? I thought to myself, but my mind was so preoccupied by the fact that I was probably going to die like this which made it impossible to explore more into who it could be. But then, out of nowhere the back of head was picked up by my hair and I was brought to the surface rather roughly, but I didn't care as long as I could finally breath.

"What do we do? He woke up, it won't work now." I heard a familiar voice say a few feet behind me. I was hacking out all the water that was still in my lungs and trying to see who had me by the hair at the same time, but I could still tell that the voice belonged to Sam. He sounded so nervous and troubled when he said it and sounded kinda like he was or had been crying. What's going on?

"Shut up!" I heard the person who had me by the hair say, I knew that it was Peter before he even spoke, "I don't care, besi..." he was saying something else in his angry and annoyed voice but shoved my head back under the water and pushed my face extra hard against the rocks before I could hear the rest.

Why were they doing this? What did I do? I hadn't seen them the whole time at the carnival and even before they seemed normal, well at least Sam did. Peter was acting a bit strangely as soon as Sebastian showed up. But I still don't understand why this was happening.

I was really scared now and I began thrashing, trying really hard at getting free, then the hand was suddenly off my head. I made no time to waste in getting back up to the surface, I heard them arguing for a moment before the back of my head was punched down into the rocks hard. Blood spread through out the water and the last thing I heard was my heartbeat slowing down before it all went dark for a moment.

I was probably out for barely a minute, but it gave them enough time to take the restraints off my hands and get out of there as fast as possible, leaving me there for dead. I barely sat up in the shallow water without my head giving me a strike of pain. I coughed out as much water as possible but a little stayed in my lungs, making my chest feel heavy.

I was shaking like crazy, from cold and pure fear even though it was all over, I could tell that I must had wet myself during some point of it all because that part of my wet clothing was a lot warmer than the others, but I didn't care because I was too grateful about being alive.

I thanked God that they were both to stupid to check and see if I was alive or not before leaving, because If had they would have definitely have killed me. But why? What did I do? What made them do something so horrible as to try and kill me? I wish I could have been able to think about it more, so I could figure out what had just happened but I was too weak and tired from the lack of oxygen and the head trauma from earlier, all I could really think about was getting myself out of there.

I crawled through the water on my hands in knees, luckily the part of the river I was in was only two feet deep so my head wasn't going under, but I had no idea if I'd collapse or not so I made it fast to get up on the muddy bank.

The grass was a nice, welcoming feel to my cold wet fingers and the strong earth was enough for me to at least try to get back on my feet. I was barely up for a second before my head sent a pound of pain through my body. I let out a cry and fell to my knees, I should have known better than to try and stand up so fast after losing consciousness twice in one night.

I decided that I would just crawl up the hill, and it was one the hardest five minutes of my life and by the end my whole body felt like total crap and I was out of breath. I rested up at the top by the road, I could see that all the houses on that street were dark which meant it must have been very late at night. If I was in my right mind I would have gone and gotten help from someone, but I wasn't all together at the moment and could only think about getting home into my bed, the warmth and dryness of my memories seemed to drive me mad with the hunger for it and it's safety, making me forget about the horrible state my body must be in.

I don't really remember much about how I got home, which was two blocks from the river, but from what I do remember is that there was a lot of falling down, resting, and at one point even getting sick in some old ladies rose bush, but also the whole time I felt as if I was being followed or watched, it didn't really bother me though, for the promise of safety was too strong for me to worry about anything else.

I reached the house after probably and hour of working my body to the point of exhaustion, and as soon as I reached the front door I realized that I was probably going to get questioned about were I was and what happened to me and who did it. I couldn't tell the Abbisons about what happened and that my "friends" did it to me, even though they betrayed me and tried to kill me for what ever reason, but the fear of going to another horrible home was too much for me, I had it good here, I can't risk it, not for now at least.

I opened the door and the cool air of the air conditioner hit me in the face, I was puzzled for a moment because I didn't understand why they would have it on when it was so cold out but then I remembered it was summer for everyone else and I was just freezing and soaking wet to my underwear. I sighed and made my way into the house. It was dead quiet and the house was dark, like everyone had gone to bed not even caring that I was gone, I felt slightly hurt by this but really didn't care, I was used to people not caring. I still had a chance to sneak back into that warm, safe bed without getting noticed.

I made my way up stairs, walking on the sides so they wouldn't creak, I could hear the familiar sounds of Tyler snoring and Mr. Abbison breathing heavily like he always did, they brought me some peace of mind, telling me that it was all over. I walked to my bedroom door, it was closed so I took extra care in opening it without making any noise. When I looked into the dark familiar room and saw a person sitting up in the bed across the room from my own I jumped.

Sebastian sat there staring at me, blank faced. I had woken him up and now he was bound to question me about were I've been. I didn't know what to do though, I looked awful, and I hadn't thought of a lie to tell everyone about were I was yet, I didn't know how to handle this at all. My friends, the people I had probably trusted the most, had just tried to kill me and I almost DIED, my life was so close to coming to an end less than an hour ago, and the realization of it all just hit me now like a truck, in front of him of all people. I felt my wet, pale, bloody face bunch up, my chest tighten and my skin get so hot before I let out a small horrible cry and tears started pouring out of my eyes.

I didn't hear him get out of his bed or walk over to me but I then felt him pull me into a strong but gentle embrace. If this was any other moment, and if I hadn't just had a horrible and traumatic experience, I would have pushed him away but I didn't, I hid my face deep into his chest shaking with each sob, only caring that there was a warm human body in front of me.

"What happened to you?" He asked, trying to look at my face, but I wouldn't pull it away because I didn't want him to see me like this, I didn't want anyone to see me cry. He gave a rather stronger pull and I stumbled a few inches away from him, cool air hitting my burning face, I looked up into his eyes unwillingly when he grabbed my face, I saw a beautiful angelic face looking down on me, with a worried expression on it.

"I...I...Was..I can't." I tried to say some lie that I hadn't even thought of yet but the pressure was too much and I couldn't do it, I wanted to tell the truth so bad but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. "Sebastian...I can't. I can't do... it, not...now." I sobbed out, choking on words but still trying to keep my voice down so I wouldn't wake anyone else up. I sank to the floor, into a puddle my wet clothes made, I brought my hands too my face, trying to hide my worthless self. I did felt horrible, I felt like nothing and that I didn't even matter to anything in this world. All this stuff that happened didn't even matter because I don't matter and I matter even less now because I'm crying like some baby in front of God on earth, someone who does matter.

"Cie...ah Vince, your soaking wet and you look horrible, let's just make sure you get some rest okay." Sebastian said with his hand on my arm, I looked up from my hands and saw him knelt down in front of me on one knee, my heart stopped and my sobbing quite. The position he was in, something about it was so familiar, like it had some important meaning that I stupidly had forgotten long ago. I remembered for a moment what it was but it was gone out of my mind as soon as it came, but it left me with an odd feeling of longing.

I nodded, I wasn't crying like before now, I still had tears coming but were nothing like before, but there was still silent hiccups and chokes coming out of my mouth every once in a while. I let Sebastian lead me to the only upstairs bathroom and he shut the door behind us before turning on the light. He then got a towel from the cabinet and shoved it under the door, he looked at me to see if I was going to question him in why he was doing so but I was too busy whipping the tears from my eyes while thinking about what had gone down at the river tonight and also trying to keep myself standing, which was hard when my head and body felt so terrible.

He walked over to the tub and turned on the water, making sure it was filling the tub in hot but not too hot water. "I don't need a bath." I croaked out, my voice sounded awful when it came out. I really did want one though, I was cold and dirty as crap but I was too weak at the moment and I wasn't to fond of the thought of making him help me.

He shook his head and walked over to me, "Your cold, shivering, and covered in mud." He had an affectionate tone in his voice that I heard so rarely from anyone and it made my tear streaked face bush a bit. I felt him pull on my shirt which made my heart skip a beat, "Get undressed, or else I'll do it for you." He said with a little flirt in his voice.

"No, I said I don't need one. I'll just whip myself off, I'm too tired for a bath." I snapped quietly at him in embarrassment of the thought of him undressing me. I felt my head go light for a moment and I sat myself down on the toilet seat and covered my face. Now that we were in such a bright room I could see how dirty I was, my legs were caked in dirt, my knees and hands had wounds full of rocks, and my clothes were stained with mud and blood, I was glad I didn't see my face because I'm sure it looked just as awful. I definitely need a bath. "I just...I can't get one myself and...I don't want you to..." I whispered into my hands, the room was pretty quite except for the sound of water and my uncontrollable hiccups that came every once and a while.

Sebastian knelt down in front of me again and took my hands from my face so he could look me in the eye, his face was dead serious but his red eyes had a streak of longing in them. "I don't know what happened to you tonight, but it's over now, your safe here. I know that you don't want to talk about it right now but if you go to bed like this everyone is gonna know some thing happened so just let me help you. Besides we're both guys, it's not like it's nothing I've seen before." He said in the most caring voice I've ever heard, I felt tears come again to my eyes because he was right but I couldn't do something like let him help me with something like this, what little pride I had left wouldn't let me.

"Sebastian...just...don't look too much then." I whispered so low that I was afraid he hadn't heard it and that I'd have to repeat myself but after I said it he nodded his head with an understanding face. I let him pull up my once blue shirt up to my arms, I hesitately put my arms up so he could take it off. The cold air hitting my stomach and back made me shiver and I looked to see if Sebastian was keeping his promise before moving any further, he was looking at my face which made me blush but he was keeping his promise so I couldn't get mad.

I moved down to my pants then, unbuckling then and unzipping them, cringing at the sound the zipper made. I was making much too big a deal about this than I should have, but just thinking about doing something like this with Sebastian made my heartbeat really fast in my chest, but the pain in my head even worst as well.

I tried pulling down my pants, leaving my boxers on for as long as I could, but couldn't get them down because I was still sitting. I stood up a little too fast and went light headed again and had to grab the edge of the sink before I could fall. I looked to Sebastian who was standing in front of me patently waiting for me. I went back to my pants and pulled them down, all the way, letting them fall to my ankles before kicking them and the shoes I had forgotten to take off earlier as well onto the floor.

All that was left was my boxers now, the one thing I definitely didn't want him to see me without. I turned around, my back to him. "Turn around." I said looking back at him to make sure he did it. Once he was turned around I let my legs shake the way they wanted to because of how tired they were, I didn't even bother to keep them straight anymore, I kept it in earlier because I didn't want him to see how weak my body really was. I pulled my underwear down all the way, the cold air hitting my skin made me blush and the fact that he was in the same room as me when I was like this made me blush even harder.

I was about to get into the tub before he could really see me but I stumbled and almost fell but caught myself before. I looked over at Sebastian and saw he had turned around and was staring at me, I got red with anger and embarrassment. "I'm sorry I thought you were gonna fall over." He said with an apologetic look on his face. I was about to tell him off but then I felt like I was gonna be sick again, all of this was too much for my body.

I closed my eyes and rested my head down on the edge of the tub, my stomach twisted and ached for a moment and I felt tears come to my eyes, I was completely hopeless. Something in me snapped and I looked over to Sebastian then, an tear falling to the white tile floor, "Please I just want to go to bed." I said in a very broken voice because I was nothing but broken, after all that had happened at the carnival with Sebastian, the fact my two best friends tried to kill me, how I almost died a horrible death less than an hour ago, and that my body was now completely useless now made me feel so broken and upset that the only good thing I could think of was sleep and seeing daylight again, the only things that had any chance of fixing me, so I just wanted this part over with, I didn't even care anymore, I wanted peace. Screw pride.

I was crying again like I had when just got home, but this time I didn't even bother keeping it hidden for Sebastian, I just let them all out. He grabbed my arm and put a hand on my back, helping me stand up onto my feet so I could get in the tub. "God..I'm noth...nothing." I whispered between sobs, not even caring that he was there helping sit down in the warm water.

I bent forward and pulled myself into a ball, my mind was screaming at me that I deserve this kind of stuff to happen, that I did this to myself somehow, which made me feel even worse. Sebastian pulled my face up and I let him, I looked up at him with a face full of hurt and despair while the one he mirrored back to me was that something of hunger or lust, I would have been freaked out if I wasn't having the mental breakdown of my left but I just let him clean the dirt and blood from my face.

After about ten minutes I was cleaned up and my crying had cooled down a bit but was still kinda present. I sat in the water which had cooled down a great deal from when I first got in, Sebastian took a cup of water that Mrs. Abbison used when she gave the little kids a bath to rinse them off and he poured it on my head with his over hand over my teared up eyes, and washed away all the shampoo in my hair.

"All done?" I asked, looked at the boy with tired, sad eyes. He sat there on his knees with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up and slight water drop marks on it and his pants. For the second time that night I felt like I was gonna remember something but I then completely forgot it.

"Yeah." He simply said before getting a large towel from the cabinet. I managed to stand up on my own but I got another feeling of pain go though my head, not as bad as before but still pretty bad. Sebastian wrapped the towel around me, the bottom dipped into the dirty water but I didn't really care. I grabbed his shoulder for support so I could step out, I was so tired and out of breath now, so I rested my wet head on his shoulder, trying to caught my breath and let my head stop pounding. "Are you okay?" He asked pulling me in closer, I weakly blushed in my tiredness.

"Oh coarse not." I said simply into his shoulder, closing my eyes before feeling myself drifting into sleep standing up. I felt my legs shake for a moment but woke up before I could fall with a gasp.

"Careful."

"Just take me to bed please." I said, a few final tears slipped down my face before Sebastian turned off the light and I heard the door open I felt him pick me up like I was nothing and carry me into our bedroom. I didn't even bother to open my eyes until he set me on my bed, and cold air hit my chest as the towel fell to my hips. I looked and saw him go toward the dresser that had my clothes but I stopped him. "No. I just want sleep right now, that can wait til later." I said trying to get under the blankets.

Sebastian came up beside the bed and help me pull them from their made form. I slide my legs underneath and let the towel ride up towards my stomach. I didn't even care that I was going to bed like this, I was too tired to care about anything really, except this one thing. I grabbed Sebastian's sleeve as he started for his bed. "Wait...I know that this...Will sound kinda...gay. But please don't leave me, promise me you won't. I want you to stay my side for a bit, kay." I said before closing my eyes with a blush, I felt the bed sink down beside me and I felt myself being pulled into his arms.

My tiredness finally got the best of me and I just began to fall into a much needed sleep but not before hearing Sebastian's response though tired ears. "Of course, for as long as you need me, Ciel." He whispered into my ear, leaving me with one thought. Who the hecks Ciel?

/

The room that I found myself in was very dark, the blackness of the room was too much for me to see much of anything but I could make out the thing in front of me as a large bed with four posts hanging a canopy of sheets at the top like they do in older style bedrooms. I was standing at the end of the bed but do to the darkness I couldn't see if the it was occupied or not.

Why am I here? I don't remember this place very much? I thought to myself, looking to see if there was anything else in the room to investigate but I didn't want to move too much because I was afraid I'd trip over something. It seemed that on the other side of the room there was a little light coming out of the wall, there must be a window over there. I was about to move towards it to get more light in the room but then I heard a door open and a warm light filled in from the opposite end of the room. "Young master are you still up?" I heard a deep calm voice say from the direction of the light.

I turned around because for some reason I thought he was talking to me but then I saw that the raven haired man standing there was looking towards the bed. Now with the light of the three candles the man had I could see a boy sitting up in the bed. As soon as I saw him I remembered a dream I had before, one that I had completely forgotten but it was now coming back to me in fragments.

This was the same twelve year old boy who looked so much like me and the same kid that told me something, something important but I can't remember at the moment. His gray blue hair was a little bit messy in the back and his blue eye shined brightly in the dim light while the other one that had an eye patch on it in the other dream, was now a dim purple. He was dressed in what looked like an oversized night shirt, the top three button were undone leaving his pale collarbone exposed.

"Yes, I'm having those dreams again." The boy said in a bored and uncaring voice but you can see in his eyes that he was actually feeling something.

The man in the doorway made his way over to the bed and set the candle holder down on the nightstand. In the other dream I couldn't see his face but when I saw it now my chest tighten up. It was Sebastian, but it wasn't Sebastian either, this one was so much older and taller than the fourteen year old one at home, this one looked like he was twenty something. But he had the same beautiful face as my Sebastian, the same pale skin and lips, the same hair color to the same cut, even the way they held themselves was the same. But the most powerful resemblance they had that made me think for a second that this was the same person was those red gleaming eyes, they both had that same hungry look to them that made me shiver. "I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like me to stay til you fall asleep again my lord?" He said with some humor in his voice.

This made the other me glare at him but after a few seconds his face got a completely wicked smile on it. "Sure, but if you don't mind the usual way would be preferable." He said through that smile and for a moment his purple eye began to glow, or maybe it was just a trick of the light.

"Of course." The man said bending towards the boy with the same smile. My heart stopped there. What were they going to do? The man's lips were then on the boys, I couldn't see much because of the position their heads were in but I could tell that the kiss had deepened rather quickly when the boy wrapped his arms around the man's neck. I really didn't want to be here at all, this was sick and gross, but the way it made feel a strange and familiar feeling of longing made it even nastier. I have to get out of here.

I quickly made my way to the bedroom door, the whole way I refused to look at them in fear of what I might see because it was clear that they weren't stopping anytime soon. When I got to the door I didn't hesitate to reach for the handle but when my hand went straight through I felt my stomach fall. I then tried going through the door since my hand went through the knob but I just got hit in the face with a wooden door. This wasn't good, I couldn't leave. My heart started pounding in my chest, and I could hear my breath quickening, this was all too much.

I sat down on the floor by the door, I was about to just put my head down and wait this out until I heard the boy start making small moans from the bed. I dared myself to look up for a moment and see what was happening and I wanted to slap myself right after. The man that looked like Sebastian had unbuttoned the boys night shirt and was now kissing and licking the boys bare chest and God knows what else, making the boys face turn pink and bite his lip to keep back the noises he wanted to let out.

At the sight of this I could barely hold myself together. This was so wrong, they're both guys, that kids is like twelve and that guys criminally older. Was this some sick twisted way my brain was trying to tell me that I want Sebastian in real life? I covered my ears and closed my eyes, I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to see this no matter how much my curiosity told me to, it was wrong. I have no idea how long I sat there with my hands over my ears and my eyes closed but when I finally opened them the room had changed and it was now bright with morning light.

Hours had seemed to fly past at a incredible spend, the morning birds could be heard out the window and the whole room was now visible. I looked towards the bed where last night's events happened but there was now only the boy sleeping there, he was now fully clothed, which made it look like last night's events never happened at all. I stood from my spot and made my way towards him, he had his back to me so when I got to see his face I was surprised to see that he was awake.

His dim purple eye didn't look at me but straight ahead out the window, but his face curled into a smile when I walked up to the bed, this one a lot more innocent than the one I saw last night but still had a meaningful look to it, that smile said it all, nothing was needed to be said between us, I understood and as my vision faded to black once more I could tell that he loved that Sebastian and I loved mine.