Hey y'all.

Sorry for the wait but, I've been very busy lately with school (second semester is always busy) and what not..it's only gonna get worse since I've been cast in a play but I'll try to update when I can.

Once again thanks for all the lovely reviews and for adding this to favorites.

I Hope y'all had a lovely Christmas.

Enjoy(:

Edward's POV

"I think she knows Edward."

I laughed at the words. "Impossible!"

Jacob sighed rolling his eyes, "Then why would she want to have dinner with you. Edward? She hates you!"

He made an excellent point.

I thought for a moment. "Maybe she wants to apologize for the way she's been treating me. Who knows it might be a nice dinner." Jacob gave me a look that I'll admit I deserved.

We both know that's not the case, Leah isn't the type of person who apologizes over dinner. I'll admit that it's strange that she invited me to dinner, but I highly doubt that it's because she knows of Jake and I.

I let out a long breath, "Whatever the reason is we won't found out 'til dinner." I add straddling his waist again.

Jake groans rubbing his hands on his face. I take his hands and lace them with mine. He closes his eyes and let his head fall against the headboard.

I could tell he was deep in thought. Usually he got a semi just by me being in this position. Right now, he was flat. I wish I could do something to ease his mind. I could tell him everything will be alright but that's something I can't guarantee. I haven't forgotten what I told him yesterday. Who knows maybe he won't want to break up with her, maybe he'll stop whatever it is that we have. Everything might not be okay.

So instead I kiss his forehead got off him. "I'm going to shower." I mumble, my good mood long gone. A deep sigh is what I get in response.

I hop in the shower, and started my routine. I let the water run while I sat on my shower bench waiting for Jake to come and join me. I waited and waited, but he never did. He always showered with me when he was here even when he was mad at me.

Insecurities started eating at me.

Maybe he's starting to distance himself from you.

No he's not. Why would he?

He doesn't want you anymore.

I mentally slap my forehead, why would I think that of course he does.

It could be he's already chosen Leah.

Perhaps he was just using you; he might not love you anymore.

Of course he still does. Jacob says he loves me. He loved me for a while.

But what if he never did, it might have been an experiment for him.

Maybe that's why he hasn't come out yet.

Maybe isn't a fact! He loves me I know he does. It wasn't just a experimentation for Jacob…He loves me.

Does he love you enough to come out?

Yes he does. Of course he does.

Then why hasn't he?

He just needed time. He'll come out. He loves me.

But… what if love just isn't enough?

Stop it Edward! I told myself.

Just because he's not showering with me doesn't mean anything. He needs space to think. Leah really freaked him out.

He freaks out because he just thinks Leah suspects that you and him are together, does that sound like someone ready to come out?

He's just worried…

…Worried that people are suspecting something. He wouldn't want people suspecting anything.

It's NOT An EXPERIMENT!

Fine…maybe just loves her more than you think.

Shut the fuck up with your maybes bullshit you disgusting piece of shit!

Great now I'm calling myself a disgusting piece of shit. I exhale loudly. Jacob just needs space. That's it. I know it. He just needs space. I repeated over and over in my head.

I jumped when I suddenly felt two pair of arms wrap around my waist.

See? He still loves me.

I turned and buried my head in his shoulder.

"You okay?" I whisper in his ear.

"Yeah. Sorry I spaced out earlier." He kissed my forehead. I nodded.

"Are you going to be here when I come back?" Mom and dad were coming home tonight; he usually doesn't spend the night here when they're here.

"I might, but I'm not staying tonight. I've gotta go home." He frowned at the end.

It's going to be hard sleeping without him. He's been sleeping more and more over lately ever since Aunt Kate got cancer and my parents spent a lot of time In San Antonio taking care of her. Mom feels like it's her responsibility to look over all her siblings since the death of their parents.

"Okay." I said kissing his lips.

"But if I'm not here when you come back, call me."

"M'kay."

I left him in the shower to get ready. What should I wear, something fancy maybe? Nah it's only Leah, I highly doubt she'll care if I'm wearing a trash bag. But I still want to look good though.

I look at the clock, good I still have an hour.

Half an hour later, I'm wearing blue skinny jeans, a yellow shirt with a black skull on it, and a black jacket. Of course I have my black leather ankle boots with me.

I look good, I think looking myself in the mirror.

Jake says I dress like a girl, cuz of my boots and skinny jeans. Skinny jeans that he loves seeing me wear.

Speaking of Jake he still hasn't come out of the shower. It's been a bit over half an hour now. "Oh well." I whispered heading over to Alice's room.

"How do I look shorty?" I asked entering her room, going straight for her make up bag.

I need lip gloss and mascara, I don't have anymore. Yes I'm that gay.

I mean you to have figured; I'm captain of a fucking cheer squad. People say I'm bubbly and apparently your stereotypical gay guy, so I might as well wear makeup and use like, omg and like totally a lot. Right?

I've been using mascara and lip gloss since freshman year; Alice had put some on me during a sleep over and I've used it ever since. I liked the way the mascara had made my eyes look sexy. I like looking sexy so I wear it. Why do I wear lip gloss?...I like the way it feels on my lips, and also because I can.

I applied some to my face, a skill I've become a master at, I realized Alice hadn't answer my question. Weird. By now I should've had a lot of comments on my outfit.

I turned my head as saw she was staring at the door. Her eyes were red and swollen, like she's been crying for hours.

"What's wrong Ali?" I asked like I use to when we were kids.

"James broke up with me." She said in a broken whisper.

I should have been sad, pissed even because he hurt my twin's heart, but I wasn't. James is an asshole who doesn't deserve to date someone like my sister. He's arrogant and uber confident with an ego bigger than his brain.

"I'm sorry." I lied, and she knew it. I've never liked James and I wasn't afraid to show it or tell her that. "Hey, wanna go shopping tomorrow after school?" Shopping always lifted her mood.

"Edward—"

"I'll buy anything. The whole mall if you'd like." I insisted. "We'll spend some time together, you and I...like we used to." I pleaded with her. And I never pleaded to go shopping with Alice. She was the one who did the pleading. It furthers more proves my point that she's really hurt—by that asshole nonetheless. I should beat him up.

"Fine." she gave in after a while.

I smile. "I love you." I sing out while getting up and heading out.

"Hmm, Edward?" She calls

I stick my head back in the room "yeah?"

"You look gorgeous." She smiled.

"I know." I smirk winking at her and left.

"Cocky bastard!" She calls out.

I smiled and yelled while walking downstairs, "Thanks honey."

Jake was in the kitchen when I walked in.

I grabbed a water and walked right out. "Alright Jake I'm off." I call while heading to the garage.

"Whoa pretty boy, wher' ya think ya goin'." He drawled out in that accent that makes me crazy every time, following me to the garage.

"Uh to pick up Leah," Aint it too early for him to be getting Alzheimer? I'll have to check with dad.

"Where ma kiss at pretty boy?" I didn't think he'd want me to kiss him goodbye, hell I didn't even think he'd be down here.

"You can kiss my cheek. I'm not putting my lips anywhere on your body, I have lip gloss on." I pointed to my lips. I can't afford to mess them up I don't have Alice lip gloss with me.

"Why do wear that crap Edward?" He says walking towards me. I stayed rooted on my spot.

There are four things Jake really hates: Justin Beiber, Taylor Swift, Romance movies and lip gloss. I'm pretty sure he won't kiss me.

"Because I can," I smirk. "Anyway I'm gonna be late." I said but before I could turn he pressed his lips to mine.

I was shocked. He always made me wipe my mouth before kissing me when I wore lip gloss.

Our lips met again, his tongue darted out and forced my lips apart. I moaned as he gently sucked my bottom lip.

"I'm fo real when I say I want a kiss pretty boy." He purred in my ear before nibbling it.

I shivered as my hands ran up his back underneath his T-shirt; I groaned as he rocked his erection against mine setting off a frenzy inside me. I tilted my head deepening the kiss; his tongue goes deeper in my mouth fighting for dominance with mine.

I gasped sucking some air in. He kisses my neck sucking on it hard but not hard enough to leave a mark. The need to have him became overpowering as I attacked his mouth with want and lust bucking my hips against his faster. Our breathing was jagged and hard. He sank his teeth in my collar bone through my shirt. I moaned loudly. I swear if he didn't stop this shit now I was going to jizz in my pants.

Alice came in when I was about to push him away. "I highly doubt Leah's gonna be happy if you get there late Eddie." She says heading back in to the living room.

We were both rock hard and breathing hard. He kisses my forehead.

"Don't forget to call me." He yells running upstairs. Bastard probably gonna rub one off while I might get a case of serious blue balls.

I started the car. I played my special CD sure to always cheer me up; Britney Spears, I'm a slave for you. Britney always cheers me up because...hey its Britney...bitch. I laughed. I might make my squad do a number to this song.

Jake POV

I kissed Edward and ran upstairs to Edward's room, took my clothes off and went straight in the shower where I took my manhood into my hand. I felt it throbbing as I closed my eyes, one arm bracing myself against the bathroom wall. The water rained down over my head, down my back and chest.

I closed my eyes tightly as I bit my lip. A groan poured out of me as I started moving my hand, slowly inching down my shaft my foreskin sliding down, only to come back up and cover it again. It revealed a beautiful pink head.

My hand stroked gently up and down. I treated it carefully, like Edward would. I imagined Edward gently stroking me, licking the pre-cum from my swollen head.

I imagined him suckling my foreskin, taking long single licks from my base to shaft. I imagined him taking me, engulfing my entire dick in his warm mouth.

I imagined him moaning and twirling his tongue around my dick. I imagined his throat swallowing around my head. I would thrust myself in his awaiting heat.

I moaned while twisting my body into my own hand. I could feel Edward touching me. I could feel him all around me, his scent and his touch overpowered me. Using his soap made it more real. "Edward..." I moaned.

My breaths became ragged pants as I slowly increased the speed. I continued to think of Edward. The way Edward moans and the way he squirms under me when we make love. The way Edward teases me before he blows me. The way Edward looked. He was so tantalizing, so intoxicating, so exquisite and beautiful.

My motions speed up. I took my cock in a tight fist. I increased my pace; my pink head became a slight red from the hard and fast stroke. My legs were threatening to give out I started to grow tired. My breath became more erratic as I kept groaning and moaning. He could feel it coming the tightening in the pit of my stomach.

"E-edwaaaaaard..." I moaned his name almost breathlessly as I came thinking of milking Edward's hair and face, a thick cord of white splashing at the bottom of the tub.

I waited a couple minutes to collect my breathing before finishing my shower.

I got out of the shower satisfied and fresh. I flopped on his bed and called my dad. I looked at the ceiling waiting for dad to pick up. I still can't believe he still has that Johnny Depp picture up there. The fucker is so ugly I don't know why Edward has the hotts for him; he looks nothing like me.

"Hello?" That pisses me off. I hate when he answer the phone like he doesn't know who's calling him. I wanted to tell him that there's a fucking caller ID on his phone.

"Hey dad."

"Where have you been?" he snapped. No trace of worries just anger. Probably caught him at work.

I sigh with frustration. "Edward."

"When you coming home?"

"Tonight."

"Hmph, bye." He hanged up. Have a great day too dad I thought sarcasm loaded.

I felt a tad bit guilty for the way our relationship is. Ever since mom died our relationship has been strained; so much so that the only reason I really ever go home anymore is to change, get some money, and occasionally sleep.

It's not entirely my fault. Dad is a CSI detective; his work hours are hectic and all over the place, so even if I wanted to spend more time with at home I wouldn't see much of him. And I hate staying in that house all by myself.

Our house isn't as big as the Cullen's, but it's still big enough that not even the biggest, scariest guy would want to spend the night there alone.

Besides every time I'd try to spend time with him by going to dinner he always ends up getting some phone call and staying at his work for days.

S'not like he's been trying to spend time with me either.

I sigh heavenward and closed my eyes. It's a wonder I haven't snapped yet with all the stress: school, Leah, Edward, dad, and football. It aint easy being me. To think people would kill to have my life, if they only knew…

I wish mom was still alive, I wish our family could go back to the way it was before she went on dialysis. I wish I could talk to someone about all my problems. Someone other than Edward, someone I could trust and talk about Edward without being exposed. I couldn't ask my dad for therapy. He always says "men who talks to shrinks aren't real men…almost like gays." Wonder what he'll do once he finds out I'm gay. Disown me that's for sure.

I felt tears gather around my eyes, and though I wanted to cry, to let them fall I couldn't. I can't show weakness, not even in the comfort of an empty room. I still remember what dad had told me when I was five.

(Flashback)

Dad was taking me to the park today. It was early October and cold out. I was only wearing a T-shirt and jean; we had forgotten my jacket. I wasn't complaining though, I rarely got to spend time with y dad.

"Dad look!" I was excited to show him what mommy had thought me to do on the monkey bars, mommy said I would be like Tarzan, a big boy. I wasn't like Tarzan that day. I fell and scraped my knee on the wood bellow. I cried, it hurt so very bad. Dad didn't comfort me instead he yelled at me.

"Stop crying boy! Men don't cry." He had snapped.

"Men who cries are pussies." He snarls, looking down at me while pointing his finger in my face "Do you understand me Jacob Black, don't you ever show weakness." he spat the word weakness like it was poison.

"Yes daddy." I promised fighting the tears that threaten to spill over my face like a raining storm.

(End of flashback)

I kept my promise too. I've never shown weakness. Not when my first dog Senora died, ot when my mom died three years ago, or even when my siblings moved away after my mom's death. No matter how much I wanted to I never did.

It would feel good to cry and talk to someone about everything I kept bottled up since mom's death. Mom was usually the one I confided in. She probably would've known about Edward.

I should go talk to her, visit her grave yard I haven't been there since the day she was buried, I'm always afraid that I'll end up crying.

But maybe that's what I need, to tell her everything and cry. Maybe I might not be able to produce tears anymore seeing as it's been twelve years since I've cried.

I looked at the time. Shit I've been thinking for over half an hour. Just as I was about to leave the room Alice came in and launched herself at me.

Fuck she knocked the wind out of me. I never knew she was that strong.

She straddles my hips. "Get off of me woman!" I tried to push her off. She didn't even bulge. Damn how strong was she?

"Oh Jacob." she trailed her hands on my naked torso

"For real woman get off me, you aint Edward."

"Oh relax your panties." She rolled her eyes. "Like I'd do anything with my twin secret not single dating a girl boyfriend." she scoffed getting off me.

"Sure."

"But I'll tell Edward that you passed." she smiled. "Anyway I really came up here cuz I was bored, so let's go play Mario kart."

I stared at her incredulously like I'd play fucking Mario kart.

"Grand theft auto," I offered and she nodded. "Prepare yourself to be beaten."

"I'm undefeated Jake." She says with a serious look on her face.

"—With Edward at Mario Kart,"

There was a paused, and then we busted out laughing. Edward can't play video games to save his life, I spent so many hours trying to teach him how to play every Mario's game. The kid Can. Not. Do. It.

We played 'till Esme and Carlisle came home from San Antonio. Edward was still out. It worried me.

I had to end with a Jacob POV you needed to know about all of this, and I've no clue how to write the date in for next chapter... soooo...yeah...might not be what you expect...hahahaha...oh God..

Hope y'all liked it.

What do y'all think gonna happen at the dinner with Leah? Is she gonna apologize or tell him to back off?

Let me know!

Oh! And I won't be updating this story for awhile…I'm grounded…or will be (school trouble) yeah it sucks leaving with parents…sometimes okay bye!

xojayxo