It's late again, sorry ; )

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 4: The Verdict

The blood of my victims ran fluidly across my chest, never hindered by the fabric of a lost shirt. I watched as the dark-red trails ebbed slowly over my marble chest, standing out in harsh contrast to the pale white skin. The two colors were binary opposites;

Up and down, black and white, good and evil…

…Me and her.

A low, long sigh hissed from my mouth as I threw the final carcass in the fire.

Twelve Dall sheep, eight mountain goats, five deer and two brown bears.

That was what it took. Twenty-seven animals was all it took to satisfy my thirst… Because of her.

I smiled coyly as the memories of the night replayed in my mind. I had helped her, I had resisted what the heavens had offered and I had left her alive. I was no longer the inadequate fool I had believed myself to be. No longer the weakest link. And despite what I knew my family would say- I was strong, I could resist.

For now…

A bellow of a deep, throaty laugh boomed from my throat as I chuckled at the monster's discontent. It held no influence over me anymore. It could whine and taunt till it's heart content, but I knew that it was no longer in control, no longer in power.

The darkness of the night began to sink away across the horizon, and with it, my anger and unrest. Several hours had passed since my departure from the girl, yet I had still withstood my return to the no-doubt restless home upon the lake.

What were they thinking now? Would I be asked to leave the family, or would they simply perform another intervention in an attempt to show me the error of my ways?

I grunted slightly as I remembered the 'success' of previous family-fun discussions. They rarely -if ever- caused anything other than anger and upheaval. Usually one of us would offer advice, one of us would throw insults and the others would all throw chairs. It was tiring, tedious and usually incredibly time consuming… But in the end, always necessary.

A sharp stab of pain rippled through my heart as I realized, once again, what was at stake. I could lose them. If things took a turn for the worse this morning, I could lose every single one of them. And for what? My own stubbornness and pride? No, I would force them to listen. I would beg for hours if that was what it would take. Either way, I was not prepared to let them go.

Flickers of life began to light up across the town as I took a long, withdrawn walk back to my home. It was morning for Forks. A typical, drizzly morning which only held the promise of more rain to come.

I held my face up to the sky and breathed contentedly as the rain began to wash away the foreign blood. It washed away the dirt and grime of the evening and left me feeling clear and invigorated, almost weightless to the problems that had previously plagued my mind.

Time for a fresh start, I thought optimistically, throwing a hand through my hair as it stuck shabbily against my face. No more anger or frustration, it's time to let it go…

My thoughts were hopeful and sanguine, but apparently, they were not shared.

As my footsteps grew nearer and nearer to my home, the emotions radiating from the large, Victorian style home were emanating at full force between a mixture of worry, distress and pure anger.

I think they might be angry, My mind thought sarcastically, only further increasing my stress and apprehension.

No doubt Alice would have seen my decision to return home, the only question now remaining was, what did they possibly have in plan so that they could each tell me what an idiot I'd been.

I kicked a nearby tree in frustration, shaking the built up rain content and thoroughly soaking my predominately dry body.

I supposed I deserved it.

Both the soaking and the potential insults. I had betrayed my family, in the worst possible way. I had risked our exposure, our safety and our lives…

Why should they forgive me?

Picking up my tattered wisps of pride, I held my head high and attempted to preserve my spirit so that I could present some sort of front to my family before they ripped me apart.

Each step I took brought me closer and closer to my demise, but as I grew nearer, I became uncharacteristically more confident. These people were my family; My mother and father and siblings. They weren't the Volturi, nor were they some unknown evil that I had to defeat. They were them and I was me, there was no way that could be as bad as anything I had faced in my newborn years.

I burst through the front door with a sudden reassurance in my heart, but was thrown into near hysteria by the sight before my eyes.

Not as bad as your newborn years, Worse.

There they were. Just 'them' and just 'me.' But team 'them' were currently looking a lot more intimidating, if not irate, than team 'me.'

They were placed there, at the same table where we had discussed so many other issues, they sat together like an impenetrable wall. A mixture of emotions danced delicately above each individual's aura, spinning and twisting in the air and distorting my own understanding of reality.

Who's were who's? Was what I felt an emotion of my own, or was it merely mirrored off another?

"Jasper."

Carlisle tone was dignified and refined, a reflection of his no doubt irresolute state of mind. I was suddenly petrified. Petrified and completely at a loss. I had no words, I had no explanation for my actions other than the obvious.

"We need no explanation Jasper," Edward said quietly, his eyes fixed on the blood spatters across my chest. "We've come to speak of the future, not of the past."

I nodded silently, unable to trust the words which were sure to betray me.

"A question first," Carlisle continued, standing from his position at the table and gesturing for me to take his place. "Of course we trust Alice's visions impeccably, but I'd like to hear it from the horses mouth. The girl lives?"

"Yes!" I said hastily, as if offended by my father's doubt and distrust. What else was he to think? It had never been my intention to leave her alive, so why shouldn't he believe that I had drunk her dry?

"…So, you saw then?" I asked timidly, afraid that any word would send the family into fits. "I mean, you saw that I left her alive and that I didn't hurt her?"

There was a minute of silence before anyone dared to speak. It was unspoken knowledge that the question was solely directed at Alice and as such, no one wished to interrupt or even breathe a word of explanation before Alice had given an answer.

"Yes I saw."

The air that I had unconsciously been holding, gushed from my mouth in a rapid burst. I felt instant relief, but it was brief and fleeting, replaced by sheer guilt and regret.

I'd broken a bond with Alice. I had severed the trust that had taken me years to build. Would she ever forgive me? Would she ever be able to trust my word again?

"Fortunately," Edward began, standing behind Alice and rubbing her shoulders soothingly. "Alice had a string of constant visions regarding your volatile future. We were almost ready to come after you when she saw…"

I waited patiently for him to continue, anxiously awaiting what it was that caused a shift in emotion for every individual in the room.

"…She saw you crying."

I drew a sharp breath as the impact of his words sank in. She had seen me… She had seen me at the most vulnerable point in my life and there was nothing I could do to erase it. I felt humiliated, exposed and betrayed.

"We were sure then that you had killed her," Edward continued, oblivious to the effect his words had on me. "We thought that you had killed her and were overcome with the guilt and shame in the aftermath… But then Alice had another vision, and another."

"They were broken fragments," Alice explained, always staring past my face and not daring to look me in the eye. "It changed so quickly that I wasn't sure what I was seeing at first. But slowly the pictures became less distant and I started to see things clearly…. You were helping her?"

Her tone was so uncertain that I was suddenly offended by the constant questioning and distrust my family seemed to harbor for me. Had my fate been sealed in stone to them the minute I first encountered Isabella Swan?

"…I don't know how to explain it," I began softly, eager to shift my family's views and opinions of myself. "I wanted to taste her, but something changed. She's so alone, I… I just felt like I ought to help her, Like I needed to help her. I know that feeling… I know what its like to feel helpless, to feel the isolation, the loneliness. I know. But she shouldn't."

"Well either way," Carlisle interrupted, rubbing a hand over his face irritably and sighing in an all too heavy manner. "We are incredibly fortunate that things ended the way they did. If you'd slipped up, If you'd taken her…"

An uncomfortable silence settled over the table as an alternative ending played upon the thoughts of everyone in the room. It was a frightening and unsettling future that was painted before us, but it was not an unfeasible one. It was truth. It was fact. And it was the bane of my existence.

"But everything has to change now," Rosalie whispered quietly, her emotions sinking into disappointment and flickers of rage. "I mean, we have to start again now. Find a new house, a new city…"

A cog in my mind turned into place and I suddenly felt myself suffocating. They had already made plans. This wasn't a discussion of my future, this was an information meeting, a notification of our future. I had no say, they had already decided.

"Yes," Edward said quietly, answering my unspoken question.

"When?" I asked flatly, feeling the quake of sadness begin to rock my soul.

"Tomorrow, if we can."

My heart screamed painfully in protest as my soul began to weep. Tomorrow. I had only just found her and now I would be forced to leave. It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough time to grieve for one that I had not yet grown to truly know. But this was family, and through and through you stuck by family… No matter what. Decision made, verdict final. What else was there to do?

Fight dammit! My mind bellowed loudly in anger. Jasper Whitlock is nothing if not a fighter. He is a soldier, a warrior, a killer. Show them, remind them who you are!

"No…" I said quietly, the breath of a word barely perceptible to my own ears.

Every pair of the eyes turned to me in that instant, shocked, if not a little taken back, by my resilience to the prospect of a move.

Carlisle eyed my off slowly, his eyes filled with a worry and fret that finally reflected the years of his age.

"Why Jasper? What's wrong?"

I threw myself from my chair and paced the room so that I was not one meter from my father.

"Carlisle, you told me that I had strength! You said that I had it and all I had to do was find it. Well guess what?" I asked heatedly, "I found it! She is my strength, she is everything that I am fighting for and I will not run out on her now!"

"Jasper, that's not it.. We can't risk it, we can't-"

"Please father!" I cried, sinking to my knees at the floor. "There is no risk! I would never hurt her, I would never cause her harm. I want to help her, I want to show her how to live, but I can't do that if you don't give me a chance… I need you to trust me. Show me that you trust me, please…"

He stared at me for a moment which seemed to last a life time. I could sense the denial approaching and it was only a matter of seconds before the confirmation rolled from his tongue like a wicked lie. I had lost her. I had lost her before I'd been given the chance to obtain her.

The despair rocked through my body painfully and I lurched forward in anguish, clutching at the fabric of Carlisle's clothes.

"Carlisle we can't!" Edward exclaimed in alarm, redirecting my attention to the silent conversation that had passed between my father and my brother.

"We can't risk it," he continued, disregarding my presence as if I simply weren't there. "He restrained himself this time, but what happens tomorrow? Or the day after that? What happens when he does slip, when he does kill her? Our family will be torn apart, we will all suffer for his pride and arrogance."

"I know very well the ramifications of my own decision Edward," Carlisle interjected, silencing his unnecessary rant. "But if I don't support him now, what chance does he have to ever retain the control that the rest of us have?"

For once, Edward had no words. His mouth swung open in a preemptive attempt of a rebuttal, but no sound flew beyond his stony lips. Carlisle's word was always final… and now the verdict had changed. Now the verdict was in my favor.

"Very well Jasper," Carlisle continued, aiming his words solely at me. "We will stay in Forks for now, but you must understand one thing. This is not forgiveness that we have given here this morning. Understanding, yes, but not absolution. You hurt this family deeply last night, you worked against each and every one of our faults so that you could execute a plan more heinous than anything any one of us could fathom. The trust is broken Jasper, it is splintered. Prove to me that you deserve it once again…"

I nodded rapidly and rose from my position on the ground to stand by his side.

"…You have an hour till school begins. And then my son, we will truly see the extent of your control."

They FINALLY meet the next chapter.