Entry #7: Tuesday Oct. 19, 1971 – Fourteen Days Before

I absolutely hate it when there is no moon out.

In actuality, the new moon should be my favorite time of the month. When there isn't a moon, I don't feel sick, or even tired. I'm alert and focused and strong. It's almost as if I'm not even sick. The thing is, I hate feeling that healthy because the cycle starts all over again the next night. It makes the sickness all the more terrible because I'm periodically reminded of how great I would feel all the time if the moon didn't affect me.

I only mention it because tonight there is no moon and, as good as I feel, all I can think about is how terrible I will feel tomorrow.

I know I should take advantage of my good health and do something besides homework, but I'm worried people will realize I'm doing better. Allie and Sirius both noticed how healthy I looked this morning, and if they notice I'm healthy only at a certain times every month, they will notice I'm not healthy the rest of the month. Add that to my visits to the Shrieking Shack, pay attention to the moon phases, and you've got some pretty solid evidence that I'm a werewolf.

That's the first time I've written that word in this notebook. I've always been afraid that someone might read it if I wrote it down. Somehow, even if what I'm writing about is obvious, not writing that word has always made me feel more secure.

I don't know. Maybe I should cross it out?

Entry #: Monday Nov. 1, 1971 – One Day Before

Yesterday I learned that Halloween is something of a religion at Hogwarts. It is James' and Sirius' favorite holiday, and most other students say the same thing. All of the students get really into it, and some of them even find costumes. The Great Hall was elaborately decorated with pumpkins and bats and everything else orange and black. The ghosts came out from everywhere, trying to scare any innocent passersby. The ceiling turned stormy, and the entire place felt rather haunted.

I've never understood the appeal of Halloween, but that's probably because I've never really participated in normal Halloween festivities. I never decorated the house with ghosts and hanging bats. I never dressed up in a silly costume. I never went around the block collecting candy from our neighbors. One year when I was eight, my father suggested that we go out trick or treating, and he jokingly said that I could dress up as a werewolf. Needless to say, my mother did not find it funny, and I wasn't allowed to go. That instance probably ruined any and all future hopes of a fun Halloween for me.

That changed yesterday. James had spent all morning perfecting his Dracula costume, and Sirius was donning a dark hooded cloak. He had drawn the hood over his head, and was carrying a pretend scythe around menacingly. Even Peter had colored himself orange to create a makeshift Pumpkin costume. No one had told me that students were allowed to dress up, and I felt like the only person in my dormitory that wasn't in costume.

James made it his mission to remedy that fact. As we made our way down to breakfast, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the nearest bathroom. For a long moment, he just stared at me as I stood awkwardly next to the sinks. "Is there a reason we're in the bathroom, James?" I had to ask. The fake blood and pale paint on his face was a little unsettling.

"Toilet paper," James announced suddenly. I didn't realize that he was answering my question until he disappeared into one of the toilet stalls and came back out with a roll of toilet paper in each arm.

I eyed it nervously, not sure what he meant to do with it. James pursed his mouth to the side, contemplating, before coming at me with the rolls. "You shall be a mummy," he declared. "It's perfect, because you've already got the whole dead complexion thing going for you." And then he proceeded to wrap the toilet paper around every inch of me. It took four rolls of paper and a charm or two to keep the paper from tearing or falling off. In the end, the only part of me that wasn't wrapped up was my eyes, and it was quite uncomfortable.

"That is much better," James told me as we went down to the Great Hall. "Now you don't look so foolish."

I actually felt more foolish than before, because it was soon apparent that the four of us were the only ones who actually dressed up. It had seemed like more earlier because I had only seen my dormmates and assumed everyone else would be dressed similarly. I knew I looked ridiculous, but sitting between Peter in his pumpkin outfit and Sirius in his Grim Reaper cloak made me feel less like an idiot.

I was glad when the day was over and everyone was settling in the common room for candy and pumpkin juice. It meant I could take off the toilet paper. What I hadn't expected was for Sirius to spontaneously decide that he wanted to go trick or treating around the school. James was all for the idea, and Sirius refused to go if I didn't come along. That meant neither of them would stop pestering me until I agreed. Peter offered to go, and they accepted, but they still would not go until I went with them, no matter how adamantly I refused.

"I just don't see why I have to go," I tried. They wouldn't let me take off the toilet paper just yet. "Peter wants to go, and you can have just as much fun without me."

"But you won't have just as much fun," Sirius argued. "Think of this as Remedius Lessons, but instead of class work, you'll be learning how to have fun. You need to learn how to enjoy yourself eventually, Remus. We're happy to teach you, but you have to be willing to learn. So are you coming trick or treating with us or not?"

I didn't want to, but I worried about what would happen if I refused. What if they gave up on me and never invited me to anything else? I finally had friends and it wasn't worth giving them up for a few more hours of sleep. "I guess I'll come with you," I said, very reluctantly.

Sirius grinned and found us each a makeshift bag to use. Mine previously held a container of biscuits from James' mum. We then made our way out the portrait hole, not really having to sneak past the party because no one was paying attention.

It should be noted that there is a reason the other students didn't have the ever so brilliant idea to go trick or treating through the castle way past curfew. For one, the teachers don't take money out of their wallets to buy their hundreds of students hundreds of pieces of candy. For two, the teachers go to sleep around 9–ish. For three, and I'm repeating this for emphasis in case it wasn't caught the first time, it was way past curfew. Either James and Sirius weren't aware of when curfew was, or they were very aware we weren't supposed to be out and chose to be out anyway.

Regardless of why we were out, we were out and we stopped at the Headmaster's office first. Dumbledore came down through the gargoyle in his pajamas and bunny slippers and gave all of our costumes curious looks. "Trick or treat!" the others shouted. I didn't shout so much as mumble it with an expression of being held against my will.

"I wasn't aware that Hogwarts was welcoming trick or treaters for Halloween this year," he chuckled. "But, ah, I believe I can find something." Disappearing for a moment, he came back with a bowl full of hard candy and told us each to take a handful. We did, and the Headmaster bid us all a Happy Halloween as we went to our next destination.

To my dismay, Sirius decided to go to the library. I actually enjoy going to the library, and I didn't want to give Madam Pince any reason to dislike me. But we went all the same, and Madam Pince was absolutely furious. When the librarian saw all of us in her library, dressed as buffoons, she started screaming about mockery of her order and chased us out into the hallway.

Sirius and James laughed hysterically, actually glad they had gotten such a rise. Peter laughed with them while I had never been more grateful that my entire face was wrapped in toilet paper. While we continued down the hall, I repeated in my head, 'She couldn't recognize you. You'll still be allowed in the library.' I thought about scolding them, but they had already decided on their next destination and I felt they wouldn't listen anyway.

I had hoped the next teacher would send us back to our common room, but Flitwick, who seems to be a fan of James' and Sirius' antics, gave us all licorice. None of the other teachers seemed to object, either, though Binns didn't even acknowledge us, and Slughorn only seemed to find Sirius amusing. He doesn't like the rest of us too much.

Only when we got to McGonagall did sanity happen. She opened her door and we were all a bit surprised to see her in a nightgown with her hair down. Though she was just as surprised to see four of her first year students standing in front of her and, from the angry look in her eye, it wasn't a happy surprise. "All right, Potter, Black," she said dangerously, identifying exactly who had orchestrated the plan. "I like Halloween just as much as the next witch, but what are you four doing at my office at nearly 11 o'clock in the evening?"

"Trick or treating," Sirius answered wryly. "Got anything for us?"

"Yes," McGonagall scolded. "A detention for each of you if you don't take this ridiculous parade on the road this instant." She then slammed her door in our faces, and I actually believe she was letting us off easy.

I had thought her warning would make them turn back, but we continued still, going on to the next random room. We weren't going in a distinguishable pattern. McGonagall's room is up on the fifth floor. Instead of going to any of the other teachers on that floor, we went all the way down to the Hospital Wing. I thought the nurse would recognize me and make me feel guilty, but Madam Pomfrey didn't seem bothered by our visit. She had a few pieces of candy for us, and I think the guys noticed when she gave me extra.

We hit a few more random teachers before finally wandering back up to the common room. I had hoped we could just sneak back in without anyone noticing, but a lot of the older students were still enjoying the party. Unfortunately one of those students was Allie's older brother Mitch, and he was even less happy than McGonagall to see us stumbling in around midnight. He stopped us by the portrait hole to interrogate us about where we had been, and I felt sick. I didn't want to be in trouble. Sirius told him the truth, and then Mitch lectured for a good ten minutes about the importance of curfew before sending us up to our room.

Again Sirius and James just laughed and laughed as we went up the stairs, not caring at all about the rules we had broken. I, on the other hand, was upset and instantly threw myself into bed, only taking off the toilet paper when my curtains were drawn and I wasn't able to get in any more trouble. I wanted to just go to sleep and hope all of it was gone the next day.

When we got to the Transfiguration room this morning, I knew we were in trouble by the evil way McGonagall stared at us during her class. She was truly diabolical, and broke the news of my first detention only after class was over, giving me time to fret. Apparently Mitch informed her we had gotten in around midnight, well after she had told us to go back to our dorm, which merited a detention for each of us. It was all fine for James and Sirius, and even for Peter. They've all had numerous detentions before, Peter only because he tags along no matter what James and Sirius are doing. It was fine that they got detention. I just never imagined myself in detention with them.

Of course Allie heard about it. As annoying as she finds her brother, she does talk to him, and he let her know that her "little friend" (me, I suppose) had been out past midnight. His point in telling her that fact was to warn her about hanging around with "troublemakers" (me again). "You'll never get a Prefect badge with friends like that," were his exact words. Allie couldn't stop laughing at Mitch when she told me the story.

Now, though, I believe I should stop ranting and get to McGonagall's office. Otherwise I'm going to be late for detention . . .

Entry #9: Wednesday Nov. 10, 1971 – Eight Days After

The full moon, and my detention, have come and gone, and I suppose worse things have happened to me. The detention left me with several hours to sit and read, and I managed to avoid majorly injuring myself during the full moon. Just some new scars on my right arm.

I actually think I received more injuries today in Potions. It was a good thing Allie is my usual partner. She likes to sit as far away from Sirius and James as possible without getting into the Slytherin side of the room. If we had been sitting any closer to them, I'm sure I would have gotten a concussion.

Now, I'll admit that James is rather brilliant at Potions. He has been able to bring even the most terrible concoctions from the brink and get a passing grade. This is something I am grateful for, because most of those terrible concoctions have belonged to me. Even with such impeccable skill, it was still incredibly foolish of James to listen to Sirius' suggestion that they follow the potion directions completely backwards.

By backwards, I mean backwards. They started with the last step, inverted any double numbers, used the wrong temperature measurement, stirred clockwise when the instructions said counterclockwise, and did their best to say any incantations in reverse. Their reason for doing this was simply, "just to see what would happen."

Slughorn may have been fond of Sirius before today, but I seriously doubt he cares for him as much after that cauldron exploded. I mean, it literally exploded. I believe they were getting close to completing their backwards potion project when a giant cloud of steam erupted in their faces and the vat of liquid started to boil over. Just a microsecond later, the liquid shot out in all directions, tearing apart chunks of the cauldron and sending the shrapnel flying every which way across the room. Most students ducked under their desks for cover, but there were an unlucky few who were hit. I felt exceptionally bad for the Slytherin boy who took a blow to the head and had to go straight to the Hospital Wing.

James and Sirius were not as sorry. When they were reminiscing about the "happy accident," as they have decided to refer to it, over dinner, the boy going to the Hospital Wing was the part they were most fond of. "I knew making the potion would be fun," James began, "but I never thought it would be that great! I mean, a piece of cauldron hit Severus Snape right in the face! Could it have gone any better, mate?"

"Not if we had planned it that way, Jamesy," Sirius added, laughing hard. "That piece of cauldron probably broke his nose. It's going to heal all crooked and huge, I know it. Not that it wasn't huge before, but can you imagine how large that honker will be now?"

"Oh, bloody hell!" James cheered, and then he proceeded to demonstrate exactly how large Snape's nose would turn out with his fingers. Peter laughed along, and I tried not to show my displeasure.

"I'm not sure why you're so happy. You realize you both got detention for that, right?" I wondered, not able to stay quiet.

"So?" Sirius countered. "We've gotten so many detentions already, Remus. What's one more going to do to our record? Besides, it really was bloody worth it. Snape's an awful sort of git, and James and I have wanted to give him one for ages. This way, we can argue that we didn't really mean to do it, no matter how desperately we wanted to." He smiled to make it seem like he might've been joking, but his eyes held a self–important gleam that said he was every bit as happy about the outcome as he claimed.

"You can't tell me you feel sorry for little Snivellus," James said, looking at me.

Arguing seemed useless, so I shrugged and went back to my meal. They assumed I agreed with them and went back to their conversation about Snape's nose. I wasn't going to tell them I thought differently. It seemed they were ready and willing to shun me for such thoughts, and I didn't want to give them any reason to exclude me.

I guess now I know the rules, though. I shouldn't worry about Severus Snape, no matter what. Somehow, he has done something terrible to my friends, and my friends do not like him for whatever he has done. Therefore, I do not like him. Or, rather, I'm not allowed to like him. I don't know him well enough to actually hate him, but rules are rules.