AN: Thanks for all the review, guys. For those of you who asked for Ozai, I'm sorry but at this point even Yue's more likely to show up than him. this is because I can actually think of a way she would get involved (don't ask, it's highly unlikely too) but I cannot think of a reasonable way to involve Ozai. And while this story gets a little cracky and is obviously humor, I do try to keep people more or less in character. If someone can think of a way Ozai would get involved while staying in character, it would actually be pretty awesome, so let me know.

Mai had tea with Iroh often enough. They weren't the best of friends, but of all the people in the Four Nations, they knew and cared about Zuko more than anyone. Not counting Azula, of course, because Azula knew about everyone and didn't particularly care about Zuko except in the sense that she could manipulate him.

So Iroh and Mai often would meet up to discuss how Zuko was doing. Sometimes Mai and Zuko would argue, and then Mai would come to Iroh for advice about how to make up without groveling, because Mai did not grovel to anyone and particularly not to her own boyfriend. And occasionally Iroh would invite Mai over for tea because he was a gossip and wanted to know how she and Zuko were getting along…what they were up to…and of course whether he had proposed yet. Iroh was hoping the proposal would happen soon. It had been a long time since there had been a marriage in the royal family.

Today Mai had come to visit Iroh with a serious, almost dangerous look on her face. Also it was not teatime. These two facts suggested that she was not just there for a social visit.

He offered her tea anyways, of course, but she merely glared at him. She did sit down when he offered her a chair, but only grudgingly.

Without tea to drink, Iroh was uncomfortably without something to fiddle with. He half wanted to ask Mai to play Pai Sho as they talked, but she would probably resent it. In any case, if he had to assess her Pai Sho skills he wanted to play a game where they were both undistracted, and it was clear that Mai would want to talk first.

"I assume Zuko told you about our conversation the other day," Iroh said finally. "About the White Lotus?"

Mai nodded.

"And I assume that's why you're here," Iroh continued, fidgeting without tea to drink.

"Close enough," Mai answered, her eyes narrowing. "Looks like Zuko was pretty upset, hmm?"

Iroh chuckled. "Very. Luckily his temper doesn't last long." He frowned. "Unless he sent you to convince me to let him join…"

Mai frowned right back. "Zuko can speak for himself. If he still wanted in, he wouldn't send me here in his place." She smiled sarcastically. "Looks like you successfully diverted him."

"Well, he's mature enough to know he can't have everything he wants," Iroh said. "So, what are you here for? Is it that you want to get into the White Lotus? That could be somewhat difficult."

Mai snorted. "Yeah. We get that it's difficult. You have to have pretty hard criteria if you're keeping Zuko out."

"Well, it's not that difficult," Iroh protested. "Only for important people. You, for example, could be the nation's firelady someday. Can you honestly say you would be unbiased and do what is best for all the nations, not just your own? And with Zuko as your husband, or at least your boyfriend, he'd clearly have your ear. You'd be influenced by his concerns, and possibly put them above the greater good."

"Oh how horrible," Mai muttered. "A girl actually cares about her boyfriend. A boy actually loves his girlfriend. This can only go badly."

Iroh grimaced. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to disparage your relationship with Zuko. I am very happy that my nephew has found love with such a lovely and charming lady as you, and he is indeed fortunate that you love him back."

Mai smiled. Only it was more of a lip spasm. Iroh couldn't tell if she was trying to smile and not quite managing, or beginning to smile despite trying not to. He wasn't sure which he would prefer. Surely Mai could smile naturally with him. Was she that nervous about joining the Order?

"All these things are factors about whether you could join the White Lotus, though," he added. "I have to consider all applicants carefully. Still, I think it's not a huge issue. After all, I have a tendency to listen to Zuko myself, and it doesn't stop me from doing my duty as an Order member. All that remains is to test your Pai Sho skill. Shall we have a game?"

Mai glared straight at him. "I didn't come here to play Pai Sho."

"It's a requirement for-"

"And I didn't come here to join your stupid Order," she hissed.

Iroh paused, and raised an eyebrow. "Then, Lady Mai, what are you here for?"

Mai smiled, slowly and threateningly. "I am here, General Iroh, to talk about tea."

This answer only served to confuse Iroh further. Tea? But she had refused to drink any when he had offered, and she had never shown an interest in the subject before. And if all she wanted was to discuss tea, why so serious? She'd been looking grim and annoyed ever since she'd arrived.

"Herbal tea in particular," she continued, her voice still angry. "I don't like it. Not even slightly. I like mint tea and black tea, and maybe some lemon tea sometimes, but that's about it. And I don't really advertise that I like tea at all. Usually Zuko and I drink simple tea or juice, and that is enough."

"So imagine my surprise, Iroh, when he invites me to tea one day with some weird herbal tea and expects me to like it. He even said it was a surprise. When I said I didn't like it, he looked really disappointed. I think he expected me to be really excited. He does try to do nice favors for me sometimes. He's a good boyfriend, when his uncle," she paused to glare at Iroh again. "doesn't interfere."

Iroh gulped slightly, suddenly knowing where this was headed.

"So," Mai said with a flat tone. "I asked him why he thought I'd like it. And he said you told him it was my favorite kind of tea." She stopped glaring, and smiled instead. "Do you have any idea how much that tea cost him? That tea that you only told him I liked to calm him down?"

Iroh swallowed again, suddenly glad that he didn't have any tea after all. He wanted to drink some very much right now, but he could tell that would only make Mai madder.

"That type of tea is very expensive. I did not think he would be able to find it."

Mai sighed slowly and let the tension out of her body. "Of course that's not really the issue. The issue is that you think you can just mention my name to manipulate Zuko any way you want."

Iroh shook his head. "I do not intend to use you to manipulate him, Lady Mai. I only wanted to calm him down and I know he always calms down when he thinks about you."

"Yeah?" Mai shot back. "Well maybe sometimes my boyfriend has a right to be angry. He's been planning on joining this society of yours for years now, you know. He should be furious at you for letting him believe he could join when you never had any intention of admitting him. And instead, you get off with only a few frustrated screams! Zuko really looks up to you, you know. If you're worthy of that, you should be able to take a little anger like a man."

Iroh sighed. "I just do not like to see him so frustrated. He needs to learn how to stay calm."

"He's calm enough," Mai said. "But I don't think he's going to learn much about controlling himself if you always control him instead."

"I do not have any control over Zuko that he does not allow me to have."

"I know that's true," Mai said flatly. "But someday, he'll be strong enough not to rely on you so much anymore. Until then, at least leave me out of it."

She stood up, brushed imaginary dust off her robes, and said, "Good bye, Iroh."

Then she walked out the door.

Iroh, left alone, went to get himself some tea, still feeling guilty. But why was he feeling guilty? It was only a simple trick to get Zuko to calm down. Really it was for the boy's own good, as well as Iroh's. He hadn't regretted it when he'd used it three days ago. In fact, he hadn't thought twice about the matter until Mai had brought it up.

Mai, he mused. A master manipulator. A woman clever enough to win the trust of Azula and the love of the prince, and thank heavens she loved him back or Iroh knew she could break his heart like it was glass. A woman like that, deceptively twisty yet honest and good, was exactly what the Order needed.

Perhaps, given some time to cool off, she would reconsider the matter of joining. In the meantime, Iroh had other prospects to deal with.

AN: And so this chapter comes to an end. It went a little off track, but I prefer to let chapters have a little control of themselves than force the storyline where it doesn't want to go.

Thanks again for all the reviews, guys, especially to those I couldn't respond to because they were guest reviewers or those I didn't respond to because I was a jerk and forgot. Next time will probably be Katara, but I make no promises.