Coming Together

Ch 4 – L.A. Twosome

The day was windy and cold, necessitating an indoor service which Brown Brothers hosted. Among the speakers for Joyce were her boss and the gallery's owner Ms. Van Ryes and Sheila, Joyce's assistant. Brian also spoke and several times had to choke back tears. Buffy looked around hopelessly for Hank; the office had refused to give her a phone number but had promised to get in touch with him. Still, there'd been no call; she knew it was pointless, but she kept expecting him to walk in the door and join her and Dawn on the pew.

Cordelia had swept in around noon to the Summers' home, bringing with her a large party tray of sandwiches, potato salad, deviled eggs and liters and liters of Diet Pepsi. And she wouldn't take no for an answer from anyone who'd claimed not to be hungry.

"Anyone who thinks they aren't going to eat something after I've shlepped this platter in is grossly delusional," she'd said. "As far as I can see, you're all starving yourselves…now get a plate or I'm kicking some butt."

While Buffy had started out peevish, by the time she'd eaten her third plate, she'd found her self grateful for the pushy Cordette Leader's presence back in Sunnydale. She'd had just as profound an impact on Dawn, rushing her upstairs to do her hair, giving her make up tips for her coloring and basically keeping her distracted during the long wait before they could start for the funeral home.

Angel, of course, wasn't present, though Cordelia assured her he was in town. They'd gotten in just before dawn broke and had hustled into a Ramata Inn hotel room. Cordy had apologized for not calling Buffy immediately when they'd gotten there, but she had needed sleep desperately by then and Angel had agreed that everyone could wait until this evening to meet. He was going to be at the graveside soon after nightfall where Buffy would meet him.

Once the service was over, the assembled would meet in the cemetery as they laid the coffin to rest. Among them would be Mr. and Mrs. Chase, who'd surprised their daughter and Buffy by traveling from Toronto to attend the burial. Buffy both wanted to rush things along and delay them indefinitely.

When it came time for her to speak, she'd found that she had nothing to say. There were no words that could capture how much her mother had helped her, consoled her, braced her and strengthened her. So she said exactly that and then she sat down, giving the floor over to Dawn.

It was Tara who'd been most effective in expressing, in words, their collective loss. Buffy had found herself with tears in her eyes as the woman who, ostensibly anyway, had had the least contact with Joyce was the one to eulogize everything she had meant. Buffy sat wondering why she hadn't been able to say all of the things that Tara had managed to. As she wrapped up by telling everyone that Joyce would expect them to carry on by being as kind as she always was, Buffy had had to squeeze her thigh tightly in a clenched fist to keep from breaking down. There were still things to do and she couldn't fall to pieces quite yet, she felt.

At the graveside, another small sermon was spoken by a Methodist minister with Tara and Anya singing a gospel duet as Joyce was lowered into the earth. Another pleasant surprise from tragedy; no one had known that the witch and the ex-demon could sing so prettily. Finally, the people that Buffy didn't want to have to talk to started to shake her hand or give her a hug and then leave her alone.

"If I can do anything…," Brian hugged each of the girls. The girls who, perhaps, might have been his future step-daughters if only…. He left them standing when tears flooded his eyes and he rushed toward the exit of the cemetery.

"I'm so sorry this happened. If you just need to talk to someone," Ben said as he hugged Buffy, adding a kiss to her cheek and squeezed Dawn's hand. "I mean it…anytime either of you just want to vent, I'm almost always at the hospital and you have my phone number…."

It seemed to take forever and everyone wanted to touch her in some way. She knew why, of course, and she wasn't rude to anyone. But she wanted them to just go and to keep their hands to themselves. Their offers of help were useless…her mother just died…no one could help her with that

"Hey, Buff. Staying here 'til HE arrives?"

"Yeah, Xan, but could you and Cordy take Dawnie home? I'll see you later."

"Of course. Listen though, I know this is tough…I remember right after my father…uh, anyway…we're here for you."

"I know. Thanks."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Spike paced furiously in the mausoleum he called home, smoking incessantly from one cigarette to the next. Side by side with him, the Buffybot kept pace and peppered him with questions about death and motherhood.

"What's with the 100 questions," he spun in exasperation with the Buffybot's constant picking at him.

"I have only asked 11 questions, Spike. My database on my mother, Joyce Summers, is extremely limited. I am trying to decide what the appropriate emotional reaction should be so that I can more closely emulate my Buffy-behavior parameters. Does Joyce's death mean that guardianship of Dawn now devolves to me?"

"Uh, I suppose that Buffy will become her guardian. I hadn't thought to ask, but that would make sense."

"I am Buffy," the Buffybot smiled beamingly, as she always did. "Dawn is now my daughter instead of my sister!"

"Okay, first: Dawn is still Buffy's sister. Guardianship and parenthood isn't the same thing. And second: the other Buffy is Dawn's guardian."

"But, I am Buffy."

"No, luv, you're not. You're a very poor facsimile," Spike grimaced before going back to his pacing. "But I got bigger worries now, with the Big Poof on my territory."

"Clarify: 'Big Poof'?"

For the first time since Spike had heard that Joyce had passed on, he laughed. It was short, but it had felt nice. "Bloody Angel, ducks. He's here to support the other Buffy in her time of need. Always gotta be the big hero, that one."

At least Dru got out of town. That really would have led to one hell of a mess, he thought.

"Angel is stupid and he has dumb hair."

"Yeah, you just keep repeating that whenever I start envying him, yeah?"

"Why do you envy the 'Big Poof', Spike?"

"There are too many reasons to list, 'Bot. Let's just say there's a long history of Angel getting a little more than me and being just a little better or stronger or smarter. It's been a right pain in the ass for a hundred years, it has. But, we gotta put on a good face. Can't let Buffy be hurt even more than she already is by picking fights with Captain Hairgel. At least she wasn't able to get a hold of Riley…I'm not sure I coulda kept playing nice if I had to put up with two insufferable prigs tonight."

"I don't have a lot of information about 'funerals', Spike. But according to 'Passions', I'm supposed to be at the graveside where I must cry and fall weakly against the chest of a man in attendance. Specifically, my sister's boyfriend. I don't know who Dawn's current boyfriend is, however. Can you provide this information?"

Spike gave a chuckle of amusement. "Passions, eh? Well, I don't think Dawn is going out with the boys yet. I'm pretty sure that would have been one of the things I'd hear Buffy bitch about if she was."

"But, how can I precipitate the required "cat-fight" with my sister, if I am not hanging on her boyfriend for comfort with sexually suggestive subtext?"

"Listen, ducks…you can't meet with Dawn, anyway. Remember, you're not to let any of them see you. Besides, I don't think you should be modeling any behavior on trashy soaps, no matter how much fun I have with 'em. How long is it before nightfall?"

"The official time for full dark is 6:36pm which is now 1 hour and 17 minutes, 31 seconds away."

Spike sighed. Then he lit another cigarette and paced some more.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Buffy stood staring at the mound of dirt that was hiding her mother. The stone that would bear the simple inscription: 'Joyce Summers Born: August 22, 1958 Died: January 16, 2001 Her Warmth is Missed' would be delivered and set into position on Monday.

Everyone that had been there were now gone. The gang were heading back to their places to change into casual clothes; then meeting back at her house. The others would go home or anywhere else…she didn't want a bunch of barely known people in her house.

My house…not my mom's, mine. Mine and Dawn's. How will I keep up the mortgage payment? Where will we live if I can't? Can I get a job and still have time to fight Glory and whoever comes after that, and after that, and after ad nausea. Buffy blew out a worried breath and watched it mist away.

The night had gotten unusually cold and she could almost feel the frost in the air. Behind her, she felt the presence of a vampire but she didn't respond. She just stared down at the mound of earth until she felt a similarly cold hand slip into hers.

"Thanks for being here," she said.

"Sorry I couldn't get here sooner. It wasn't as overcast as I was hoping."

"I wouldn't want you to risk it anyway. I'm just so glad that you're here. And that Cordy is here too, now how weird is that?"

"Was it tough, today," Angel asked.

"No tougher than yesterday, or the day before that or the last four days. It's tomorrow and the day after that, when life is supposed to start getting back to normal that I'm afraid of."

"How's Dawn?"

"I don't know," Buffy sighed. "I know I should be more worried about her than myself, but I can't seem to think clearly these days. I keep finding myself staring off into space and when I look up, she's not in the room anymore. I'll be glad when she's back to school next week."

"Just don't be afraid to ask for help. The gang would do anything for you and schools these days seem to all have councilors on staff. Maybe Dawn should talk to someone when she goes back?"

"I'll look into it, thanks. Wanna sit?" Buffy led the way a short distance and sat down, leaning against a tree trunk. Angel sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. They sat that way for several minutes, just listening to the night sounds around them. With the cold, even the crickets weren't out so it was mostly just the breeze making the tree branches creak.

Across the cemetery, stood Spike in the shadows. He eyed Joyce's grave mound and swallowed back a tear that threatened to roll down his cheek. He took in Buffy and Angel and was a little surprised to find himself not jealous. He must really be over her, if the sight of the two of them making with the snuggles didn't get under his skin. Not that he wanted his bloody grandsire to stick around any longer than absolutely necessary.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Angel looked over Buffy's head resting against his chest and spotted Spike hidden in the deep shadows. He glanced down, but Buffy didn't seem to sense his presence, probably because she was already so distracted.

He again looked across and in the dimness seemed to catch Spike's eyes. The other vampire gave him a single nod and then melted away and if Angel had breath at that moment, he would have sighed in relief. Apparently, Spike was going to avoid their usual dance and he was grateful for it. He didn't come back here to tangle with his troublesome family member, he just wanted to provide Buffy with a little support and show her mother his respects.

"Everyone keeps looking to me for answers," Buffy murmured, re-focusing his attention on her. "But, I don't even know what I'm doing; I barely know if I'm still breathing."

"Buffy…. I'm more sorry than I can say. But I also know this, you're going to figure things out and then you're going to go on."

"You sound so sure."

"Maybe it's because I know you. You've got a lot more strength than you feel right now. You just need a few more days to put yourself back together."

"Or, you could just stay here forever with me and be my strength," she said looking into his eyes.

And before he knew it, it was like time had reversed to three years ago. They were kissing each other passionately and his hard on was becoming apparent. When Buffy shifted to climb into his lap, he broke the kiss, gasping.

"W-wait…wait. We…."

"Oh, oh…Angel, I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I…geez," she said climbing to her feet. She walked a few footsteps then turned to face him. "I'm sorry; I had no right to do that. To get you worked up like that when, obviously, we can't…."

"It's okay. I wasn't exactly fending you off."

"No, it's not okay. It's selfish. I'm just really feeling needy right now."

"Maybe it was a mistake for me to come here. Maybe I should have just called?"

"No, no Angel, I'm so glad you came. I needed you to be here. But maybe it'd be a good idea for us to head back to the house. Xander's probably sharpening stakes as we speak, just in case," she half-smiled, half-sighed.

"I'm still not his favorite, huh? Damn, and I was so trying to climb his Top 10 Friends chart," he said as he returned to his feet and took her hand.

"You might want to find a more constructive and less futile use for your time," she smirked. "But you're still my favorite. I think you're the only one who could have made me come close to a smile. Things feel less dire, now. Thanks."

"That's what I'm here for. Haven't you seen my ads…'helping the hopeless'. It's kind of a motto."

"Sorry, mom canceled the cable…." The light mood evaporated and Buffy collapsed against his comforting bulk as they walked arm in arm in a new silence toward her mother's…toward her house.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

End Chapter 4