Chapter Four

Sesshomaru returned just as the children emerged from the bathhouse, both still apparently in awe over the quality of clothing he'd provided them, crisp and clean despite the possible smell of must after hiding away in a closet for years, even if Lenezma had cleaned every piece of linen in the house out of boredom when she first came here - six years ago.

The boy wore a red top with white cherry blossoms and a pair of white pants with a dark green, almost black sash, while the girl wore one of Rin's old kimonos, light blue with snowflakes cascading down one shoulder, shrinking the closer they got to her white belt. Perhaps not yet the right season for it, but it was the first one he grabbed, while Nisshou's ensemble looked a little big on him, but the boy did not complain.

Kyokkou held their old clothes tentatively, no doubt wondering what they were supposed to do with them since he had denied the twins the right to clean them in the baths.

Aras sensed his approach first, the wolf barking and bounding over excitedly, to which Sesshomaru merely ignored. The silence between him and the small children was very awkward, but the question in the girl's eyes allowed him to end it: "Leave them inside."

Kyokkou seemed confused by the order, but did not argue and placed their bundle of clothing on the floor just inside the bathhouse. She probably thought he'd have them cleaned and returned in the morning. If Jaken were here, that would've been the case, but as he would be gone for a good portion of the winter, they would instead be disposed of lest Lenezma wanted them back.

Closing the door to the bath house, Sesshomaru headed for the main entrance into the manor, the children and wolf not far behind. He led them to the fire room, taking his usual place on the opposite side of the room, settling onto the same floor cushion just the same as any other night.

A little nervously, the twins sat on the cushions closest to the door, straight across from the intimidating demon lord, all three waiting for another to speak first.

Aras, who had come in last, pushed the door shut with her nose before heading straight for the fire, not at all perturbed by the tension in the room; without a seconds hesitation, she walked right into the heart of the fire, walked in a small circle once, twice, and then settled down comfortably, resting her muzzle on her paws with a sigh.

Well, at least she was comfy.

Sesshomaru sighed faintly as he watched the children across the way, recognizing which scented oils they'd picked.

It wasn't their stench or level of filth that made him offer the bathhouse, simply a way to waste time until Lenezma came back for them. He was not yet ready to be questioned about his past with their mother, not with his heart so freshly wounded, and he wanted time to gather his wits, to determine what questions needed to be asked and what response - if any - he should offer up at their own inquiries.

He started off easy, deciding to at least attempt at tact.

"Tell me about yourselves."

The twins exchanged glances.

"I'm Nisshou, and this is Kyokkou," the boy started, perhaps realizing that they hadn't introduced themselves to him at all since coming here, even though Lenezma had spoken their names around him.

Sesshomaru continued to stare, waiting for him to go on.

Nisshou shared another glance with his sister, swallowing before trying again: "We, uh... we just turned four and..."

"Four?" he questioned. They neither looked nor acted like four, and they certainly didn't talk like they were only four; though he knew it was impossible, if he simply had to guess by looking at them, he would have placed them closer to eight or nine.

Kyokkou nodded; "Everyone is surprised when they learn our age. Mother says we developed about twice as fast as human children."

Well, that would explain his estimate of eight.

"Where were you and... your mother," he nearly struggled with the word, "heading?"

"Today? We were going to go see Kikka. Mother likes to see her at night, to avoid her guardian."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. Inuyasha.

"Mother says they fight a lot," Nisshou explained, missing Sesshomaru's glare, "so we've never actually met him."

In the weirdest way, it made Sesshomaru feel better hearing that even Lenezma did not get along with his half-breed brother, even if she had entrusted him with Kikka. How those two even met in the first place was a story he still wanted to know, but it would not be heard now if these two cubs had never been allowed to meet the half-demon.

"Where did you come from?"

"What do you mean?"

Sesshomaru had to suppress his irritation. Was it such a difficult question?

"Where do you live?"

He watched them exchange glances once again, but the looks in their eyes...

"We don't live anywhere," Kyokkou explained softly. "We don't have a home."

"Mother takes us all over, but we never stay in one place for very long."

"And what does your father think about this?"

The pain was almost unfathomable, just saying the word left him wanting to destroy something - just trying not to growl at the same time he said it was pushing his willpower to its limits.

But Kyokkou just shook her head, her innocent teal eyes adding great depth to her next words: "We don't have a father."

It was the first shock to his system since they showed up on his doorstep, so much so that he feared he had physically reacted, but if he did, neither of them showed any sign of it.

"We've never met him," Nisshou added with just a hint of bitterness in his voice. "Mother said they split up before we were born."

"She doesn't like to talk about him, so we don't know very much, only that he was a pure-blood demon, some kind of canine."

He knew he reacted this time - there was no way he couldn't.

A pure-blood canine...?!

His eyes shut tight, unable to cease his teeth from grinding so hard it hurt; why?! Why did she do it? Simply to mock him?!

Of all the things she could have possibly fallen for, of all the demonic races out there, she had to choose a damned canine!

Of course it didn't matter if she'd chosen a different species, all would have invoked his wrath, but the fact that she'd mated with another canine was simply insulting.

Again, Sesshomaru had to keep himself from tearing at his chest and ripping that poor excuse for a heart out.

Why?! How could she do this to him?! He remembered perfectly well everything that transpired up until the day she left, knew damned well why she did it, but that did not lessen the pain. She was his… She was his Lenezma! She had even been comforted by these words at one point, and yet here she was, six years later with another man's set of twins at her side!

"Why did they split up?" he forced himself to speak as calmly as possible, but he wasn't sure how casual it really sounded in the end.

Nisshou shrugged. "She's never said, really, only that they left on bad terms. I think that's why she's never introduced us to him."

The thought that she was no longer with the man brought little comfort to him, or that she'd never taken them to meet their father, because in truth it changed nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So they've never met their father - they know next to nothing about him... Lenezma raised them on her own.

"Um... can we ask you something now?" Kyokkou almost whimpered.

With a heavy sigh, Sesshomaru leaned back against the wall, resting his eyes on the fire and the wolf therein. This whole thing was of little consequence to him anymore.

"Speak."

"Well... who are you? How do you know Mother?"

Sesshomaru wanted nothing more than to give some sarcastic, back-hand remark, but his spirit just wasn't up to it. In fact, he never gave a reply.

The children were bothered by this. "Koyuki said Mother and Kikka lived here at one point - is that true?"

Eventually he nodded.

"She also said you were her teacher - that you trained Mother. Is that right?" Nisshou persisted, an unusual hopeful look in his eyes.

"Yes."

"What was she like back then?"

Sesshomaru turned to Kyokkou curiously, surprised by such a question. "I mean, was she different?" the small girl blushed and looked away when she realized both he and Nisshou were giving her the same look.

"She was softer," he replied at length, trying not to dwell on the past, on the moments he shared with the woman, but this small girl reminded him greatly of Rin and Kikka, how their innocent nature brought out his softer side - though he often considered it his weaker side. "It seems the outside world has hardened her."

In a way, it was refreshing to know that Lenezma's eyes had finally been opened. She was not unaware of the cruelty of the world, she was not as naive as the girls, but her own innocence had always been her weakness. Still, he did not realize how hard the outside world would really be on her. Today, he saw nothing of the woman he once knew, only her shell.

The children attempted to ask him other questions, but Sesshomaru was no longer interested in what they wanted - he got what he wanted, after all, even if it was very little. No wonder Lenezma did not care - she knew we had nothing to offer each other.

Still, their annoying little voices continued to break up his thoughts, and he found it hard to simply ignore them as he would normally have done. His silence could only last so long before he'd give a half-ass answer just to shut them up, or when it came to questions like "why did she leave?" he would give the same response: "Ask your mother."

They were annoyed by his attitude, it was obvious, but Sesshomaru would not let these brats get to him. Lenezma would come back for them soon and they would finally leave him alone... and Lenezma would disappear with them, out of his life just as quickly as the last time...

His chest tightened.

Kyokkou yawned loudly, the girl's eyes growing heavier as time went on. Nisshou did not fare much better, and his sister's yawn ultimately left him yawning.

Just where was Lenezma anyway? It was getting late, these children needed to be put to bed - the girls would've been in bed an hour ago.

Aras, who had been quietly resting in the hearth this whole time, was now watching the twins with her head raised, whimpering softly.

This is ridiculous...

Sesshomaru stood tall, the twins watching him curiously through sleepy eyes; "Come."

They stood up slowly and followed Sesshomaru back out into the hallway, Aras right behind them, the wolf leaping out of the fire pit as if it were the natural thing. He led them to the opposite end of the house and up the stone steps that led to the upper rooms.

As they reached the upstairs, he pointed towards the far end: "The last three rooms have beds. You may choose any until your mother comes back for you."

At first they seemed too stunned to move, like he had just told them something horrible was behind those doors, but Aras nudged them from behind, putting their feet into motion.

The wolf walked with them to the end of the hall, all three heading straight for the very last door - Lenezma's old room.

Whether it was Aras who had prompted it or the children simply liked it after taking their earlier tour when first arriving at his manor, he did not know, nor did he particularly care, but it felt... strange, to know that her children had picked out her old room.

Sesshomaru turned to leave - there was nothing else to be done here.

-/\-\/-/\-\/-/\-

"Mother still hasn't come," Kyokkou mumbled faintly, sitting at the window, looking out over the front yard. "She will come back for us, won't she?"

"What are you talking about? Of course she will!" Nisshou looked to her incredulously.

"But... we made her so mad today..." she trembled, remembering Lenezma's tantrum. Her eyes glanced towards Aras, who was curled up on the floor at her feet; she didn't want to say anything out loud to upset the wolf, but she knew that Aras's disobedience hurt Lenezma terribly. And Sesshomaru had practically tried to rile her up, so maybe, between the three of them, Lenezma could not bear to face any of them?

"Calm down, Kyokkou. Mother would never abandon us and you know it, no matter how upset we made her. We're her lights, remember?"

The burden on her heart lifted almost instantly as he spoke. She half smiled back at her brother, nodding: "You're right. She needs us."

Nisshou, having laid down the bedding that was stored in the closet, crawled under the covers. The bed was large enough for two, maybe three adults, the blankets softer than any he'd ever had the pleasure of touching, let alone sleeping in. Hell, sleeping in a proper bed like this was rare enough for him and his sister, but it was by far the best in his short lifetime.

"Is Sesshomaru still out?"

"I think so," Kyokkou replied softly, gazing out the window again. "I haven't smelled him, and Aras is calm."

The wolf adjusted her position on the floor and made a huffing noise through her nostrils; an only slightly indignant gesture.

Kyokkou held back a chuckle as she watched the wolf, not wanting to upset her further. But her smile quickly faded as she watched the great white canine and her brother, snuggling into the blankets. "Nisshou? Why do you think he hates us?"

He rolled his eyes: "Why do you think he hates us?"

"Well he doesn't like us. I mean... did we do something wrong? Was it something we said? We only met him this afternoon, but I swear he hates us for some reason."

"Well," Nisshou started slowly, his eyes staring idly down at the mint-green blanket top, "maybe for the same reason so many other demons hate us..."

Kyokkou turned swiftly as he spoke, her eyes quivering: "But that's not fair! We didn't do anything!"

"They don't care, Kyokkou, haven't you learned that yet? Our very existence is a crime in their eyes!"

Kyokkou struggled to yell back, but was not very good at arguing with Nisshou. Or anyone, for that matter. Sesshomaru couldn't hate them because of their heritage, could he? Lenezma was half human and they were friends once; why did he hate them more, when they had more demonic blood in them? It's just not fair...

Seeing his sister's silent consternation bothered Nisshou - he hated it when she pouted. He sighed: "Kyokkou? We only just met him. He knows nothing about us. We don't know anything about him - do we have to like him? All we know is he and Mother were old friends and now apparently hate each other. That's why he doesn't like us."

Kyokkou watched him solemnly, not liking his words, but seeing the truth behind them. She nodded slowly, showing her understanding.

Aras, who had lifted her head to watch the young girl, whimpered softly, nudging Kyokkou's hand with her nose. The affectionate motion was answered with a loving scratch behind the ears.

"Come on," Nisshou went on, sinking further down into the bed, curling up comfortably on his side, "let's get some sleep. Mother will come for us tomorrow, you'll see."

Nodding again, Kyokkou closed the window and stood from the perch, walking towards the enormous vacant spot on the bed and began pulling the covers back.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Nisshou suddenly yelled, scaring her.

"W-what do you mean?"

His eyes narrowed: "Three spare bedrooms, and you want to sleep in the one I picked?"

"But, I..."

"What?! You mean we finally get separate beds and you wanna stay in here?!"

"Er, just for tonight…" she replied weakly, unable to understand her brother's sudden hostility. They had always shared their bed.

"Kyokkou! This is probably our only night! Take advantage while you can! We just took the best bath of our lives, have these fancy silks to sleep in, warm, soft beds – in different rooms, mind you – and you wanna stay with me?!"

"You don't have to be so mean about it! Fine, I'll go to another room where it's dark and lonely! Are you happy now?!"

"Yes!"

"Fine!" Kyokkou growled, running out of the room, but not before slapping the top of Nisshou's head in anger, slamming the door behind her.

Aras stood up uneasily, whining after the girl.

"Sheesh, what was all that about?" Nisshou mumbled, massaging his head. "She didn't have to get so angry…"

Aras shot an accusing glance his way before heading for the door, managing to pry it open with her nose, slipping out of the room and even closing the door gently behind her.

Nisshou sighed before laying back down. Cry baby…

Aras scratched lightly at the next bedroom, knowing it was where Kyokkou ran to. Using her paw and nose, she managed to open the door enough to slip inside and close it back up again.

She sat back on her haunches, watching quietly as Kyokkou struggled with the large bedroll she'd pulled from the closet, mumbling under her breath the whole time, Aras catching words like "stupid Nisshou" and... well, really that was about the sum of it, various other insults following, but essentially "stupid Nisshou" was the common theme.

Despite her continued work on straightening the bed, Aras snuck forward and nuzzled Kyokkou comfortingly, the girl instantly stopping in order to hug the great wolf around the neck, snuggling into her fur.

"He's such a meany, isn't he Aras?"

Aras sighed, whimpering faintly as she comforted the small girl, whose feelings were always so easy to hurt. She had her strong moments, but they were far and few between, and Nisshou, though not always intentionally, was the best at upsetting her.

When Kyokkou released Aras, she seemed to feel much better and went about her work in silence, straightening the bed neatly before pulling a few blankets from the closet, Aras helping her stretch them evenly across.

Finally she pulled out a pillow and placed it in the center. It looked terribly lonely on the large bed, but she saw no reason to put the second pillow out when it was only her.

On top of already being tired, her anger wore her out further, so when Kyokkou crawled under the covers, it did not take long for sleep to take her.

Aras drained the flames from the candles before settling down at Kyokkou's side, the girl snuggling in close to her warmth.

Aras watched her sleep for several seconds, a warm glow in her eyes as she looked upon what she considered to be one of her own pups. Aras nuzzled the girl's hair gently before slowly turning her gaze to the ceiling, whining faintly…

-/\-\/-/\-

Sesshomaru was standing on the manor rooftop, arms crossed, listening to all that transpired.

They were such children.

It seems obvious to call them such, but despite the fact they looked and acted much older than four, they were still just children deep down with the usual sense of sibling rivalry.

When they had arrived earlier without their mother, Sesshomaru could not claim to know their true intentions, but their awe and wonder over his domicile had clouded those thoughts even from them. Their first words were "You live here?!"

A whimper from the wolf hiding behind them managed to straighten their thoughts a bit, but only a little; "We want some answers!"

"Ask your mother."

"But she won't tell us either," the girl tried, much softer than her brother.

"We knew if we came here we'd get answers one way or another," the boy added. "Will you give them, or do we have to wait till Mother comes to fetch us?"

Sesshomaru hated how the boy talked to him so.

"Nisshou!" the girl hushed him, fighting his glare before turning gently back to the towering Sesshomaru. "Please help us. We can tell you whatever you want to know in return, just…" she faded.

What he wanted to know? There were far too many things he wanted to know and nowhere near the time to learn before Lenezma would show up and drag them away by the ears. The whole idea of these cubs, learning the details of Lenezma's betrayal, revolted him, and yet that horrid concept of curiosity nagged at him. So many questions he wanted to ask, so many answers he didn't want to hear, and yet he simply had to know.

Amidst his contemplations, the twins made no secret of showing interest in his mansion, their eyes constantly flicking towards it; Sesshomaru also glanced towards the manor before gazing down at them again.

There was time before Lenezma would show up.

"Go explore."

"Huh?"

But Sesshomaru said nothing else, simply crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

The twins' eyes lit up; they had immediately set to investigating every inch of the lower floor, running from room to room, seeing all that they could for this was surely their only chance at such an opportunity.

Sesshomaru, trying to ignore their noise and keep the painful thoughts away, remained where he was on the front lawn, part of him demanding Lenezma retrieve her noisy brats, the other part anticipating her arrival.

"You can see the whole front yard from this window!" the boy had marveled from the window.

The twins met each other in the hall then, their eyes still bright with adventure: "This place is amazing!"

It was then that Lenezma had finally appeared, strolling through the front gates with cold determination. Any shortcomings she may have had out in the forest were dealt with, she was almost a completely different demon.

And then, amidst her reprimanding of the twins, Sesshomaru could not stop himself.

He had let them roam his home mostly as an attempt to avoid them and their questions - it rose too many questions of his own - but when he saw how on edge she was, he wanted nothing more than to provoke that rage of hers.

He had to admit, he had not anticipated her reaction.

And now here they were, Nisshou and Kyokkou asleep in the rooms beneath his feet with that white wolf, whose behavior was completely beyond his comprehension - and Lenezma's, from the look of it.

Despite it all, Sesshomaru still felt lost, in the dark about these two cubs.

He had hoped that by listening in tonight, he might overhear something valuable, or at least learn more about them and their mother, but there was nothing... except for the hint of discrimination.

"Their mixed blood has already drawn attention?" he glanced over his shoulder, eyeing Lenezma as she too sat on the roof with her back to him.

She nodded after a moment. "Are you surprised?"

Of course he wasn't. He would have shown just as much contempt towards them even if they were not Lenezma's.

"They had a rough first encounter with it, but they have learned to cope with it. At least, I thought they had..." she faded, her head dropping slightly.

Sesshomaru eyed her closely, but Lenezma remained still in silence.

It was still so strange to see her there; he had returned from his patrol only a short time ago, catching the feline's scent almost immediately. When he found her on the roof, Lenezma barely acknowledged him, but before he could question her purpose there, she put a finger to her lips. In that silence, he realized she was listening to the twins.

With his own touch of curiosity, Sesshomaru joined the eavesdropping.

Lenezma suddenly stood up, brushing any dirt from her kimono as she turned to face him. She was not as cold as before, but she wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows either. Far from it really. She was just... there. Neutral.

... But still closer to the cold side.

With a nod of his head, Sesshomaru turned and leapt down from the roof and into the front yard, and with one more leap he was at the gates. Lenezma was right behind him.

They could speak freely here.

"So, did you get your answers?" Len crossed her arms, a knowing look mingled in with the icy gaze.

Sesshomaru hated that look.

"I can only imagine what you might have told them - you were never one for conversation.

"Did they behave, at least?" she asked after a moment, letting her eyes soften a bit. "I... I noticed you let them use the bath and gave them a change of clothes... Thank you."

"You lead an impoverished life with them."

She was instantly defensive again: "We can't all be born with silver spoons in our mouth. Besides, I've found that a humble life builds character - something everyone knows you don't have. Modest beginnings allow them to better appreciate what they do have."

He could swear there was an insult in there - and it wasn't the part about the spoon or character development, he could care less about those things.

But before any more cruel things could be said, Lenezma backed down: "No, no; I didn't come here to fight or argue with you. I thanked you for letting them use the bath and for the new clothes. And I thank you for offering your home to them. To be honest, it was more than I would have expected of you. And, I know I have no right to ask this of you, but... would it be all right if they stayed here for the night?"

Sesshomaru just stared as vacantly as ever.

Behind the vacancy, he was once again shocked by her words.

Stay?

Okay, sure, neither had done anything to stop the children when they were settling down in their beds for sleep, but Sesshomaru had still assumed Lenezma would collect.

Granted, he had already planned on telling her to just let them stay the night, but mostly because he meant to get her riled up again, suggesting that it was probably the best sleep of their lives in their proper beds with a proper roof over their heads. So much for that idea.

"Look, it's too late to do what I had planned with them tonight, I've got nothing but a measly little shack lined up for our shelter, and... well, let's face it: those are the best beds they've ever slept in."

Lenezma beat him to the punch on that one.

Still, the fact remained: where they were now was the best accommodations they'd ever experienced. There had to be some damage to her pride for admitting it. And for admitting about the shack.

"Please, Sesshomaru. I'll come back for them tomorrow."

The sincerity in her eyes and voice are ultimately what won the battle, despite his original intention of letting them stay the night. She could be as cold and cruel as an ice storm, but she knew when to back down, and more importantly, in classic Lenezma fashion, she put her children first.

Without a word, Sesshomaru waited - just long enough for her to start worrying - before giving one solid nod.

Lenezma sighed softly, a faint look of relief coming over her as she nodded back, her eyes almost attempting to warm up; "Thank you, Sesshomaru."

And without another word, Lenezma turned away from him and slipped out the front gates, shutting the massive doors silently behind her.

Without a second thought, Sesshomaru headed for the fire room.

He went to his usual place along the far wall, letting his head rest against the wall, his eyes staring down into the majestic fire. He took a deep breath, bowing his head in consternation, until all of his pent up emotions and thoughts came flooding out.

His fists tightened. Lenezma…!

He hated this. He hated everything about it! Why did she have to pop back into his life like this?!

He missed her, he could admit that to himself, he yearned for her, desired her back at his side, but she had turned her back on him for good it seemed, finding some other demon – another damned canine no less – to touch her in ways that only he had, that only he should have had the privilege to do!

His blood boiled to new extremes at the mere thought of another man holding her, kissing her, having his way with her.

Sesshomaru's eyes opened slowly, suddenly tasting blood.

He was biting his fist.

He released it instantly, disgusted with himself that he'd been brought to do such a lowly thing in his fit of rage and angst, but she had wounded him deeply. It mattered not that she was no longer with this other demon, but she had given birth to his seeds, his kin, and considering how difficult it was for females to catch, it meant that they'd…

He tasted blood again, but his hand was still at his side – his teeth were grinding so hard it was causing his gums to bleed.

Damn it, Lenezma! This is all your fault! I should never have taken you in back then, I should have killed you and Kikka when I had the chance! Then none of this would have happened!

Out of the blue, a familiar pain returned to him at this silent plea, an electric sensation that attacked his chest as powerfully as ever.

Sesshomaru blinked for a moment, staring down at his torso blankly… He remembered this strange pain, this phenomenon that had come to him when first becoming attracted to Lenezma, a pain that returned whenever he thought malignant of her, a constant reminder of how much his body desired her…

It had come back.

Why? Why did it suddenly come after him like in days past? No! He was trying to steel himself against her, to rid himself of the desire for her after learning of her betrayal, and yet that damned pain came back!

Damn it all! He growled angrily, his fingers gripping at his chest, feeling the horrible electricity ravage his insides. He'd forgotten just how painful this sensation was.

For several long moments, Sesshomaru forced himself to calm down, to not think about anything relating to Lenezma – it was the only way to get rid of this agony - but considering the events of the day, it was quite the arduous task. After awhile, he was finally able to relax again, but a hint of throbbing pain was still lingering, just waiting for another anti-Lenezma thought to pop up in his head.

Why? Why can't I just be left alone?! She's obviously moved on with her life, why can't I?

The pain gave a short spark, causing just a twinge in his right shoulder. His hand moved to massage it lightly, but as he did so, his eyes closed once again; the pain in his chest was gone, transferred to this spot, the soft part of his chest between the shoulder and clavicle, a tender spot where the electricity now seemed to be focused.

This damned body of mine… can't just let me forget, can it? He sighed, glancing around the room, attempting to keep calm and distract himself from the more hateful thoughts, but the lingering smell of the twins made even that task difficult.

Why did I even allow this? he wondered, thinking of the sleeping children just upstairs. I should have chased them off the minute they stepped through the front gate. But no, I thought I could question them, that I could learn more… and look at where it has left me. I know nothing about Lenezma's past, little about the twins' father, and now I am stuck babysitting her brats… What a mess this has become…

He continued to massage his shoulder, even long after the pain had vanished.