Chapter 4

Making Memories

Another month had gone by, Jennifer was having more and more headaches and they were getting worse. She was beginning to get dark circles under her eyes. She tried to conceal them with makeup, but Hutch, Jeanne and Starsky knew about them. They also noticed Jennifer was losing weight too. These changes were expected but frightening to see. Jennifer suspected the cancer was growing faster than Dr. Owens originally thought. She insisted on having regular get-togethers with Starsky and Jeanne to talk about how everyone was coping. Talking about their love for each other was never a problem, but talking about the loss they were about to experience was difficult. Talking like that might not have worked with most families, but the Hutchinson's and Starsky's were not like most families. Jennifer had no doubts that Starsky, Jeanne and Hutch would be there for each other and the boys. She took great comfort in that.

At times each of them went through the stages of grieving and loss in their own way. The anger, fear, and depression eventually turned into acceptance and they did a lot of reflecting on the life they had together. Jeanne and Jennifer of course had been with each other their entire lives and had a lot of photo's and memories they shared with each other. They shared some of those stories with their husbands. Jennifer was always proud that she was a nurse and helped others. She felt like she did something important with her life. If her life was going to end soon she didn't have any regrets about it. She did have regrets about leaving her son without a mother but knew that Jeanne would fill that role. Jeanne wasn't so sure she would be everything Davey needed, but she would do her best and he would always know that he was loved and would be well cared for.

Jennifer was able to spend a lot of time with Davey alone and with Jeanne and Kenny. Davey never asked about why she didn't work anymore; he was just happy to have her home all the time. Sometimes she would take Davey to the park or they would stay home and watch some of Davey's favorite cartoons on TV. The park was one of his favorite places to go. He especially liked it when he they took Kenny and Jeanne with them. Jennifer could see a very special bond forming between Davey and Kenny. Sure, they were cousins, but their bond was more than that. They reminded her so much of Starsky and Hutch and the friendship they had. She was glad that her son would have a life-long friend in his life. She hugged Davey and Kenny as much as she could and told them every day how much she loved them.

She took him to see Huggy a lot too. Jennifer talked to Huggy about Starsky. She knew that Starsky would be the rock that would hold Hutch and Jeanne together after she was gone and she was worried about him. He would need someone to go to and she knew that would be Huggy. Huggy always had a soft spot in his heart for Starsky and Hutch and was happy when they finally settled down and were married. Jennifer always liked Huggy. He always seemed to be there when they needed him the most. She didn't know how he came up with the information he did but his special abilities saved Starsky and Hutch quite a few times. She felt as if she could talk to him about almost anything and he always made her smile. Huggy told her that he a special place in his heart where she would always be. Huggy also promised he would always be around to help Hutch with Davey.

Huggy arranged to watch Davey and Kenny one day so that Jeanne could take Jennifer out for the day. It was a great day for them both. It started off with a visit to a local spa where they were pampered for hours. They had a mud bath, facials, manicures, pedicures and even a massage. It was so relaxing and just a great time to forget about all the problems in the world. They had a nice lunch at a little place on the beach called Sam's Seafood. After that, they walked on the beach. When the sun started setting, they walked out on the pier and watched the sunset. The sun setting over the Pacific Ocean is a beautiful sight. The sun looked like a bright yellow ball dipping into the sea turning the blue ocean water a bluish-silver color. The colors of the clouds reflected in the shimmering water. It was one of Jennifer's favorite sights. Every sunset was its own unique creation depending on the clouds, smog and other factors. Jennifer always said it looked like one of God's angels was playing with water colors. They finished their outing by having dinner at The Pits with Huggy and the boys. They had had fun with Uncle Huggy and told Jeanne and Jennifer all about their day. He had taken them to an amusement park. The boys were full of youthful excitement, Huggy looked tired and worn out but happy. He loved spending the time with Davey and Kenny.

Davey was already asleep when Hutch came home from work and after his shower she told him all about her day. She said she felt more alive today than she had in a long time and was really happy. Hutch picked his guitar up and sat next to her on the bed and said, "This is a Jim Croce song but I like it and it's how I feel." He strummed a couple of chords to make sure the guitar was in tune then sang.

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

He put the guitar back in its stand in the corner of the room, sat back on the bed and said, "I may not get to go through all of time with you, but you're the one that be on my mind through all of time." He kissed her gently. "I love you so much and I always will."

With tears in her eyes she said, "I love you too." They leaned back on the bed and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Jennifer thought a lot about Hutch the following day. She knew, from dealing with families as a nurse, that a lot of people felt guilty for having fun or being happy after a loved one passed. It was as if they needed permission to move on with their lives and to be happy again. She had talked to Hutch some about moving on with his life but not about his happiness. She thought about it a long time and decided that she did want him to be happy and to even marry again if he fell in love. She wanted all that for him and for Davey. She knew he wouldn't like that conversation but she wanted him to hear it directly from her.

She talked to Hutch when he came home from work that night and told him that she wanted him to be happy and go on with his life. She told him that if he ever fell in love, she wanted him to marry. When he started to protest the whole conversation, she said she didn't expect him to marry next week. They shared a short laugh. She said it would have to be someone really special and he would have to really love her. His heart wasn't in it, but to please her he promised that if he ever fell in love again he knew he had her blessing. That was the best promise he could make her.

The boxes of prepared meals kept appearing on Hutch's desk. He came home one night with another box that had a pot of spaghetti, a big salad and garlic bread in it that had been left anonymously on Hutch's desk and she said, "Honey, I love the guys you work with but honestly," she opened the refrigerator to reveal that it was full, "how much do they think we can eat. And there's stuff and Jeanne's too."

He smiled, "At least we don't have to cook." He set the box on the counter and took out the pot of spaghetti and put it on the stove. He turned the burner on and said, "Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes." He pulled her toward her hugged her tight.

Starsky picked Hutch up for work early one morning. They had some reports that needed to be completed and they had court later in the afternoon. On the way to the station Starsky reached across the front seat and squeezed Hutch's shoulder. "We need to see Chief Sterling when we get to the station. Hutch, I know you don't like surprises but you're in for one. Hutch didn't say anything; he slowly turned his head toward his partner and stared at him. Starsky flashed him a half smile and said, "Trust me, Partner." Hutch turned back toward the window and nodded.

Hutch noticed everyone looking at him as he walked toward the Chief's office. It made him uncomfortable and nervous. He didn't like surprises especially when he was already hanging by a thread. "Trust me," Starsky whispered just loud enough for Hutch to hear. "It'll be okay." They reached the Chief's office and went in, as they usually did without knocking. Starsky sat in the chair on the left side of the desk and Hutch sat on the arm of the same chair.

Chief Sterling looked at Starsky, "Does he know?"

"No, he doesn't know and he would like to know what's going on?" Hutch said a little aggravated.

Chief Sterling picked up a folder that was lying on his desk and handed it to Hutch. "As of 1700 hours today, you Mr. Hutchinson are officially on an extended leave of absence."

"I'm what?" Hutch opened the file. "But I don't understand, I only have two weeks left, this says I can take up twelve weeks."

"Hutch, everyone in the department has donated some of their days off so you can spend this time with Jennifer," Chief Sterling said. He added, "I know you have a few subpoenas and I can't do anything about them, but the rest of the time is yours."

Hutch closed his eyes and pinched his nose. He started to drop the file, but Starsky gently took it from him and handed it back to Chief Sterling. He was overwhelmed with gratitude. 'I…I…don't know what to say," Hutch said as he sniffed and held back his tears. Starsky patted Hutch's back.

"You don't need to say anything right now. Just be with your lovely wife and tell her you love her," Chief Sterling said.

Hutch nodded and wiped his tears. "You knew about this, Starsk?"

"Yeah. A couple of the guys asked me about it a couple of weeks ago. Everyone wanted to give you as much time as we could."

"Thanks," Hutch managed to mutter. To Hutch, a simple thanks would never be enough. He was just given a very precious gift; the chance to spend more time with his wife. "What about you, Partner? I can't leave you on the streets alone."

"We've thought about that too, Buddy. I figure it will take me at least a week to finish those reports."

"After that, I'll assign him to Reynolds and Johnson. They've been working on some missing goods from the dock area and could use the help. We'll just play it by ear after that case."

"It's not as good as working with you every day, but I'll manage."

"I don't even know what to say," Hutch said as soon as he composed himself and could speak again.

"Say you'll help me with a couple of those reports before we go to court."

"You got it, Partner."

Hutch stood up and started to say something else to Chief Sterling but the Chief said, "It's better than having you get suspended again." He smiled at Hutch. "Hutch, we're all here for you, don't forget that."

"I haven't, Sir." He nodded as he closed the door behind him.

Starsky and Hutch worked on some reports before they headed off to court. It was a sentencing hearing for a drug dealer they had arrested a couple of months ago. The suspect was sentenced to three years. Hutch thought he should have received more time, but that's how it went sometimes.

When he got home Hutch told Jennifer the news and she was overjoyed at the outpouring of love and support they had been given through the whole ordeal. She told Hutch that she wanted him to take her to the station and thank everyone in person for all the meals, flowers, cards and support they had shown them. She especially wanted to thank them for giving him the time to spend time with her. He promised to take her in a couple of days.

Hutch enjoyed spending the time with Jennifer and Davey. Jeanne took care of Davey a few times so Hutch could be alone with Jennifer too. Hutch took Jennifer to the pier several times to watch the sun as it was setting over the Pacific Ocean. They took Davey to the zoo and had picnics in the park. There were a lot of photos that were taken. Hutch wanted to remember everything he possibly could. He also wanted to be able to show Davey the photos someday and tell him all about his mother and how much she loved him.

One day Jennifer decided that she would like a professional photograph taken of the six of them. She didn't know why, but she wanted them all to wear white. They took several poses but the one everyone liked the best was the one where Kenny and Davey were standing next to each other in front of their parents. They were all smiling and appeared to be very happy. Davey and Kenny had their mothers' emerald-green eyes and they were as bright as their smiles.

Jennifer had made a list of things she really wanted to do when she first found out that she was sick. She took it out of her purse and looked at it. The first thing on the list was to get Jeanne, Hutch and Starsky to open up about their feelings and helping them to voice their own fears and anger. "Did that," she said aloud as she took a pen out of her purse and marked it off. The second thing on her list was to make Hutch promise not to quit the department. She smiled and checked it off. Next, was to make sure Davey had a special birthday party that he would remember for a long time. He was so young that she knew he wouldn't remember much about it, but there were pictures taken and he did have fun. Another check mark went beside that one. Spend as much time with everyone and enjoy my family was the last thing on the list. She looked at the pictures on the wall in the living room. They were full of smiling faces and memories of good times. There were picture of all of them together and pictures of her alone with each of them. These pictures included the Dobey's, Kiko, Molly and Huggy. She considered each of them members of the family.

She asked Hutch if they could host a BBQ at their place on Saturday and he said that he would do whatever she wanted. A BBQ sounded like a good idea to him too. She wanted to invite just about everyone they knew. The people Hutch worked with had been so great about sending them cards, flowers and meals. Jennifer could feel her headaches getting worse and they were more frequent. This BBQ would be her way of saying goodbye to some of her friends. She didn't tell Hutch that, she just said she wanted a nice get-together with all of their friends. Starsky knew how much Jennifer valued photographs and he took a bunch of them for her.