I didn't see Cas again for over a year.
We'd moved out of the apartment and gone through countless hotels and I had almost given up hope that Cas was even still alive. I had prayed and prayed, but no one had come to give me word of my friend. It broke my heart to think that Cas had died because of me and that I hadn't even been there for him.
At least I still had Sammy.
I was in yet another school, walking down yet another hall lined with lockers when I saw him. He was standing at the end of the hall and I only glimpsed him through the crowd of students, but no human looked like that even though I hadn't seen his wings.
I took off, elbowing my way through the crowd of now rather annoyed students. But when I got to the end of the hall, he was gone.
"Cas?" I whispered, looking around. "Cas?"
Nothing.
"Goddamnit it," I muttered. I had been so sure. Maybe I finally was going crazy. It really wouldn't surprise me.
"Dean."
I just about jumped out of my skin as the angel touched my shoulder.
"Cas!" I gasped. "Jesus, Cas, I thought you were dead. It's been over a year."
"I know and I'm sorry."
"Where were you? What's been happening? How-?"
"Dean," he said in a low, quiet voice speaking quickly. "I need you to listen to me. I don't have much time." He sounded older even though he looked the same as I remembered (only without the vampire-inflicted wounds). "I'm alright and I know you and your brother are as well. Killing that vampire was very difficult for me because I'm so young. You probably saved my life by calling Anna. I killed it using my angelic powers; it's hard to explain. I've been recovering and I haven't been allowed back to Earth because of what I did – acting without orders. I would like to be able to see you more, but I can't make any promises. In fact, it is unlikely."
"Cas," I began slowly.
"There's no time, Dean. I'm not supposed to be here."
And he was gone.
I stared at the place where he had been, oblivious to the world rushing past me, feeling alone and abandoned.
"Are you Okay?" asked Sam when I collapsed onto the motel room bed.
"No," I mumbled, my hands pressed against my eyes.
"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked, hurrying over to me.
"No."
"Then what is it?"
"Shock."
"Should I get Dad?"
"No," I said again, much more firmly this time. "I'm-. I'm fine, Sam. Don't worry."
Sam sighed, but let me be.
I couldn't believe I'd seen Cas. It had been so fast it was almost like it hadn't even happened.
All I knew what that he wasn't dead and I still missed him.