Returned

Chapter Four

Lexa drifted off into unconsciousness, the sepsis running rapidly through her body. Her eyes fluttered but she did not wake as visons of past memories began to play through her fevered mind.

Lexa stood before the great massive door that lead inside the mountain, sure today would be the day each side were to be reunited with their people. It had been so long since this war had begun, the fight for the Mountain. And tonight, it would finally be over.

Lexa stood beside Clarke, her heart elated to hear that she might take a trip to Polis to learn more about her people. She hoped that one day, even back then, that someday Clarke may see them differently to what she had experienced so far. That they weren't savages contrary to what Skaikru believed.

The time came to open the door, their main entrance point that depended on all groups to succeed. It was high stakes, they all knew it. But it was a well thought out plan that was better than anything she had ever come up with, although she'd never speak that thought out loud. The button was pressed and for one heart stopping moment silence fell over the grounds. No one dared to move as they all watched in horror as the doors failed to open.

There was urgency then as Skaikru hurried to get the remote to work, her own people fighting off the attackers. They were losing people on both sides and the more time that went on the more their window of opportunity began to close. Lexa managed to dodge various flying arrows and bullets, making her way towards the side entrance with a few of her guards to see if she could find another way inside. However, before she could locate another entrance she was stopped suddenly by one of Cage Wallace's elite guards who offered her a compromise, one she couldn't refuse.

Lexa sent her own guards inside as per agreement with the Cage whilst she stood outside and waited. She dreaded what was to come but knew she'd made this decision with her head rather than her heart. She could picture the look on Clarke's face now even though she hadn't broken the news to her yet. She cared so much for her in so little time, perhaps loving her too soon for Clarke to return those feelings. And now it would all come crashing down…

A single tear slid down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. She hardened herself once more, collecting and composing herself until there were no longer any signs of weakness.

Lexa slowly approached Clarke and what remained of the army where she could already see the confusion which morphed into hurt and betrayal on blonde's face. Her heart shattered upon witnessing the sight all over again and she knew they were done. Her words seemed to be spoken from someone else and she was merely witnessing it. But of course, that was impossible. She had done it, she had betrayed the person she cared about the most. And as she turned her back and walked away, the only image inside her mind was the haunting look of betrayal from the woman she loved.

Lexa tossed and turned on the ground, still unconscious as the memories continued to assault her. Skaikru began to close in around her fevered body as she tossed and turned, yet another memory beginning inside her mind.

Lexa stood at the foot of her throne as she addressed the clan members. Things were looking dire as the threat of war was fast to approach. They had been here since sunrise and it was now well into the afternoon by the time they were all dismissed. Just as she took a seat on her throne, ready to debrief with Titus of the day's discussions she was informed that Roan of Azgeda had returned.

Her heart leapt inside her chest as she realised Clarke was just on the other side of those doors. She hadn't seen her in months, not since the day of her biggest regret.

As Clarke was brought before her, anger began to flare up inside her to see she was not unharmed and she had the sudden urge to put a sword through Roan's heart right then and there. But before she could contemplate this any further he spoke up, her eyes landing on Clarke's face steadily. "She did not come easy." Her anger was soon replaced with pride at Roan's words as she met Clarke's gaze.

Lexa almost flinched at the hatred and self-loathing look in Clarke's eyes, but she removed the cloth from her mouth despite this, readying herself for the words or actions that might happen next. Spit landed on her left cheek and she tried her absolute best not to flinch. The saliva did not bother her, they had kissed before after all. However the action, the action that was filled with so much hatred and anger was what upset her most. Again, she forced herself to not react, instead she very calmly proposed her plan to Clarke. And when she was denied, of course she wasn't surprised and sent Clarke to the guest room.

A Skaikru man shouted to his team, declaring that he had discovered Lexa's body behind a tree. Two men hauled her to her feet roughly, trying to wake her. One spotted the cloth wrapped tightly around her thigh and soon realised she was injured. They began to carry her, ignoring the mumbling sounds coming from her unconscious form.

Lexa stood in the room behind her bed, dreading a goodbye she wished would never come. Clarke knocked on the door as Lexa appeared from behind the screen, subconsciously playing with her hair. In all her life she had never felt as uncertain as she did right at that moment. Her body language said it all, she couldn't hide her feelings from Clarke any longer.

"When do you leave?" Lexa asked uncertainly, trying everything she could to not let the sadness overwhelm her. Clarke would be back, she would see her again someday. When this was all over. "Now." Came Clarke's reply, the sorrow she felt reflecting in the look on the blonde's face. Lexa barely heard her words, nor did she hear her own response. But before she knew it her lips were on Clarke's and she felt her eyes well with tears. They fell freely this time, she knew she was free from judgement as Clarke shed her own.

The kiss was desperate, passionate and hungry. They both knew they were out of time, Clarke would be leaving within the hour. Lexa undid the straps to her shirt, letting them fall down her shoulders as the kiss became somehow both gentle and fierce at the same time. She sat down on the edge of her bed and looked up into Clarke's blue eyes, the emotions in her eyes relaying everything she couldn't say. Her eyes pleaded with her to stay but there was no need. There was no decision to be made. Tears still reflected on both of their eyes as Lexa laid down on the bed, Clarke following suit.

…

Lexa woke to a sharp stinging sensation in her thigh and let out a hiss of pain in protest. She made a move to retract her leg, but it was held firmly in place. "Get her on a course of Claforan, now! She's burning up!" She heard someone yell as her eyes struggled to adjust to the bright fluorescent light. "Why are you trying to save her? She's one of them." Distain dripped from the man's voice and she tried once again to fight whoever was holding her down. "Because she's the Commander that's why." Lexa's eyes furrowed when she heard the second voice, having trouble placing where she'd heard it before. Her eyes finally adjusted to the harsh light and she caught sight of a face peering down at her. Abby. "Send word to Clarke, tell her it's urgent. Tell her…tell her Lexa's alive."Before Lexa could process what was happening she felt another sharp sting, this time in the fold of her elbow and her eyes grew heavy as one name remained in her mind just before passing out. Clarke.