Weee! I am so happy I am confusing everyone! Haha, but really, I, as always, would like to say sorry once again that I take so long to put these chapters out, to be honest with my other stories and how rarely I get time to type, this is the last on my list to update, not that I don't love it, just that I need a certain amount of time to brainstorm and plus there isn't a dire need to update seeing as it's not my most popular fic hehe

Warning: Lemon!

Anyways hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: you know the deal.

"Gaara…" I let out breathlessly and I felt my knees buckle, his arms held onto my shaking form tightly and I proceed to fall.

I was falling fast and hard.

Sometimes I don't sleep, but when I sleep I dream.

…And sometimes when I'm awake I dream, I dream a daydream.

And when I daydream, I reverie of him. Hallucinate, as if he's right there. Reality becomes mixed with fantasy, with memory, one that can be so undeniably hard to overlook. When he is the embodiment of my plaguing thoughts and the manifestation of my imaginings all I can do is…

All I can do is cry.

X

The walk back, although I was unconscious was definitely the most shameful I could have ever experienced. His arms wrapped securely around me, I wanted to be awake, to not have my eyes closed allowing the many memories to rush at me.

Being awake probably wouldn't have been any better anyways…

Sometimes, I want to pretend what is real, is not.

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perceptions becomes distorted, hazy and unreal yet oh so very believable, just…like my dreams. It's indescribable really, what I see, what becomes my disillusions brought to me by my own fucked up mind. My inner voice is not even the beginning of the mess that is my mind, you see…these hallucinations, they can bring about great, great consequences.

We arrive at the house and he gently places me on the bed, I am sure he is worried as well as questioning what exactly happened today, wondering why I was so delved into my daydream, he is hovering over me and I want to wake up…so badly, I do, but for now I think I'll rest. I need rest.

X

I awake at night, it's funny how the luminescent sky is only provided to us because of the many shimmering stars above us, and yet we don't get to thank them properly, not even the moon. I push the covers down and swing my legs over to the side of the bed, I stare at the sky without thought of what I should be doing.

When one awakes should we really always hurry to get on with the day? Hurry to get on with a busy non-fulfilling life? Why not stay asleep a little while longer? For when we sleep, everything is at peace, nothing can harm you.

Well…almost nothing.

Sasuke…

Gently I lift my swaying body, still limp from sleep and with help from the walls I travel down the hallway to reach my destination, I can hear the sounds from here. He is watching TV, with not a care in the world, you'd think he would with being Kazekage of a whole village and all, but nope, not a care in sight whatsoever.

Grasping her hand he placed his forehead upon it tenderly, sometimes he'd hit himself upon her unnaturally cold hand. "Stupid girl." He felt a squeeze and spontaneously rose his head to meet her eyes. She was smiling slightly.

"Gaara…"

"What the hell do you think you were-"

"…Gaara." and that had silenced him, as he took one look at her and knew. He huffed angrily and stormed out of the room. In search of a medic-nin.

My hand, is warm now, no doubt from the covers it laid in not moments ago, but still, I feel cold, seeing him there, seeing his façade of coolness, I know he does have a care in the world, and that care is for me.

I walk over and he turns his head only slightly to look out of his peripheral vision to acknowledge me, I plop down on the couch and take a glance at what he was watching, some murder mystery, probably figuring out how he could cover up his next kill without being caught.

I snort.

He looks at me shortly before returning back to the movie. We sit there in silence for awhile as I fidget with the hem of my clothes, I just now notice I was changed from my uniform to my nightclothes. It should bother me, especially if Naruto the idiot did it, but I know Gaara was the one who was the perpetrator…and that doesn't bother me.

I close my eyes in frustration from the silence and I'm seriously contemplating letting out my chakra in order to use my super strength upon the red headed bane of my existence.

"Your now equal comrade, Kakashi and that bothersome boy Lee stopped by to check on you, they want you to call them or visit when you can."

Just like that it's the end of his little message, the bastard. I turn to look at him and he is just looking at me to respond, give him an update on my condition or an explanation as to what the hell happened out there today.

"I'm fine…really."

"I'm fine…" His look doesn't change. "really."

"Sakura."

"You're only fooling yourself."

This time he says nothing, he simply lowers his eyelids slowly before rising from the couch and moving into the kitchen. " You must be hungry." My eyes jet across my lap and back rapidly surveying the surface of it in an attempt to calm my self down.

I'm thinking, I'm in pain, I am most definitely in denial if I am to believe he doesn't want to know the truth, and that I am actually able to keep it from him so long. He doesn't await a response and simply starts to cook, he is pretty decent, I am better thanks to my mom, but still, a great trait for a future husband.

I jump up and I can hear the clang of the pots stop immediately, his gaze from behind on me, I am sweating, I am flaccid, I am…hallucinating.

Husband? Did I really just think Gaara as…

Sometimes I want to pretend what is real, is not.

I turn to look at him slowly, I am in fear of what I will see, and in disbelief once I see it, he is staring back at me, pots in hand hanging loosely, his form is yearning to walk over to me and pull me into his arms, to comfort me, to love me unconditionally.

Am I ready?

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted…

"Gaara…" I sob, I am on the brink of tears, I don't want to cry, I really don't, but with his hands on me in that moment's instance, my head falling so perfectly between the crook of his neck, his hands on my hair, soothing and comforting, I cry, I cry so hard. He doesn't mind the tears, at least I can't tell, it soaks his shirt, and I am thrown right back into that wet, moist surrounding.

It was raining that day, remember?

"Thunder…rain." She looked down upon her still damp form.

"wet." she let out meekly, lamely.

My shaking form ceases after some time but he is still holding onto me, I look up slowly and realized the close proximity. He looks down at me, his bangs partially covering his eyes and his glare, they are softer somewhat, waiting for me to make a move…no, he's not waiting. I divert my gaze to the floor, my shoulders slump.

"Sakura!" She diverted her gaze to the dark room, the rain still persist but she hadn't noticed it as much as she did now this very moment. "Look at me!" his voice was grave.

"I said… look.at.me."

"Sakura…it's okay." My eyes widen but I dare not look back. " It's okay to look at me, you are the only one besides Naruto who looks at me without any hate, without hidden disgust, Sakura…"

I want to cry again.

"Look…at….me."

He pulls me in tightly, his hands are not constricting on my shoulders, they just merely bring me into his chest, trying to consume me. His chin rests on my head, he squeezes my small frame and whispers. "Please."

He brought his face close to hers, his eyes held such intensity.

He slowly pushes me back and grips my attention with his eyes, gleaming and enwrapping, dark yet… "Please…" He brings his face close to mine and I don't pull back, I don't even dare to close my eyes yet the image, the hallucination of his face still doesn't dissipate. He is the one that is coming closer, not Gaara, my brows furrow and then…

Sasuke's face shatters into a million pieces as Gaara kisses me.

My eyes instantly close and nothing emerges from the dark depths of my mind, and I feel my hands find their way around Gaara's neck, my body is being pushed back to a miscellaneous wall. His hand runs down from my rosy locks to my hips, bringing me closer as my back arches to the touch, colliding with the wall once more.

"Saku…Sakura…" No…Please no.

My eyes open and it's him. It's him! Stop! STOP!

"Sakura…didn't know you could moan and react so quickly to my touches…"

"Sasuke…"

A smirk, he lets go and growls. " That's right Sakura, I am always going to be apart of you, don't even think for a moment you could get rid of me."

"Stop…please…please!" Runaway, just runaway, I have to…

"You wanna run? Run from me, or him, all you would be doing is chasing your own image! You can't escape me! Understand?!" He grips my shoulders, it hurts…it hurts so much.

I close my eyes.

"Sakura…Sakura! Snap out of it!" He shakes me, and I hear his voice pleading.

"Open your eyes…open them dammit! I am NOT Sasuke!"

…He's…not Sasuke. His hands fall down to his side, my eyes have opened, and it's him. Not Sasuke, just Gaara. I raise my hands slowly but he is too far too reach, he is gone now, remnants of sand only left behind. I fall to the floor, the only thing I can do right now, just fall.

X

"Go to her…she needs you, the teme still haunts her even to this day huh? Sakura-chan…I haven't been there for her."

The blonde haired boy only received a grunt from his oh so very conversational buddy. The boy sighs and places one hand on the red head's shoulder.

"You love her. And I can't compete…" He looks up at his friend's words questioningly.

"She loves you too." his demeanor doesn't change, he doesn't believe it. " She does, I can see it, she use to look at Sasuke like that-wait-no-no don't get mad, It's different this time though, honest!"

Gaara moves to get up and Naruto follows as he moves towards the door. "Her love was unrequited and full of pain, this one, she is happy, she is really happy Gaara."

Gaara makes no mention of acknowledging his words and simply opens the door and exits, Naruto doesn't follow him, knowing that he is going back to Sakura, because he believed his words.

X

I am laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, when did the stars go away and let the rain replaced them?

The door opens and shuts softly, he came back…I feel myself smile yet my heart twist in excruciating pain, I have to face him now, he probably hates me and came to told me just that. I don't want to move but it seems I don't need to, he comes into my room directly and even though the light is off I can see him staring at me through the darkness.

"Sakura, we need to talk."

I stay laying down without responding, he moves closer to the bed and sits upon the side, I feel his warmth and the cold air surrounding me is gone, who would've thought Gaara was anything but cold?

" I know you still love Sasuke" -"Gaara"- "Shut up." I instantly close my mouth and search through the darkness for his lips, his words. " I know you love him, but something I don't know for sure is whether or not you love me too."

My face scrunches up and I bite my lower lip to keep from answering. I do! I LOVE YOU! I do!

"I know you love him, but you must know, how…I feel about you." He turns around and grips my hand in his own. " You know, how I feel, you must know…"

He leans in down upon my body and kisses me, why? Why Gaara? After all I've done, all I've said, all I haven't said! Why!

He pulls back. " I'm not going to leave you like he did Sakura." My heart… " I will never leave you if you tell me to stay." He still holds my hand, tightly. " I know what it feels like, to love…and then be betrayed, I don't want you to go through life without love, like I have."

I sit up and he continues. " I've hated…for so long…and then that idiot came and, with him…you. You Sakura. I don't smile, I don't laugh, I don't love easily, but I do-shit Sakura, I... love you."

I throw myself on him and he wraps his arms around my form instantly, I cry into his neck while kissing it muttering 'I'm sorry' 'forgive me' 'stay, stay, just…stay!'

" I will… I will…" He will, he's staying, he's not leaving, not like Sasuke, Sasuke…you will leave my mind, I will not dream of you, at night or morning, I will not hallucinate of you not any- "Sakura…"

He closed the space between their lips and pushed her onto the cold floor.

"I'll make you forget about Gaara."

" Make…me forget, Gaara."

He continues to kiss her and she is struggling, embarrassed about what just conspired and the fact that he is on top of her in such a compromising position. " Sakura, don't fight me."

"Please Sasuke…"

"Please Gaara…" I had pulled him down upon me, we are on my bed and he is on me, looking at me with a mix of indecision and wanting. " Please…" I am the one pleading now. He complies.

His hands move across her thighs and around her back as she pushes up her form to collide with his own, she is babbling incoherent protests and acceptance as he bites down on her neck softly, not leaving a mark and his hair is brushing against her face.

"Don't tell me you don't want this…" He grins his cocky grin and she looks up pleading. " No." yet she nods her head in approval, he smirks and captures her lips within his own once more as his hands graze her breasts.

"Sakura…maybe we shouldn't…tell me if you really want this." He is Sasuke, Sasuke is Gaara, I can't tell anymore.

Sometimes I hallucinate and I want to pretend what is real, is not.

"Sakura…" his red hair brush against my eyes as he bends to kiss me, and his lips, his kisses are not his, they are Sasuke's.

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted.

I reach up to touch his face, his cheek, I slide my hand across his moist lips and over his eyes, closing them slowly removing the piercing green orbs and replacing them with black. He kisses my palm, and I moan as he moves directly onto of me, I could feel my legs widening open.

"Tell me you want me Sakura…" He flicks a tit and she groans as he smirks in triumph.

" I want you Sasuke-kun." He lifts her dress up and comes in contact with the only defense she has left. " Sasuke…kun."

I am biting my lip, his hands upon my flesh is so mellifluous, so perfect as he slides his forefingers down the front of my body, he wraps his hand around my torso and picks me up easily as he kisses me. "Sakura. Are you sure?"

He kisses her to silence her, he doesn't know if he is annoyed by her moaning voice or so enticed that he will loose his cool any minute now. His kisses travel down her neck and he proceeds to tear the panties off her form. " Virgin? Wait, hah, why should I ask…my cherry blossom waited for me no doubt."

She doesn't take offense, it's true.

And that was all the notice she had before the pain commenced. Screaming she tries to transform her moans of pain and pleasure into words.

" I love you, ahh!-I love-love you Sasuke-kun, oh gawd!…I lo-"

" I love you…I am sure."

She moans and pulls him to her, he had already undid his undergarments so all there was left was the insertion. She was already experienced, no pain, just pleasure, she wanted him inside her again.

Her eyes snapped open and so did his…

This wasn't Sasuke. And I didn't scream out like a virgin would, Gaara looked hurt as his form stilled within me.

I'm a Liar…

"Hmph…" He pulls out slowly while grunting and her form visibly reacts, shuddering while her legs wrap around his lower spine. He thrusts right back in, hard and firm this time and she squeaks before moaning his name out again, the floor is cold, but their bodies are burning.

"Saku-ra, ugh…" he starts up a rhythm that Sakura picks up and flows along with. ' He loves me…he loves me…' she tells herself.

He is still and I can feel the anger radiating off of him. Slowly his face is coming back, his green eyes, his red hair, the distorted perception returning to normalcy, this was Gaara, my Gaara, the one whom I betrayed.

He is moving out, but I place my hands on his neck and pull him back but he struggles and pushes me away. I try again and force our connection to go deeper, he groans and I arch to him, my breast hitting his chest.

"Gaa-Sasuke!"

He is finishing and she is climaxing, her womanhood throbbing against his pulsating member, he yells out her name and slumps against her and she holds him haphazardly, both breathing heavily, trying to keep awake.

"I love you…I-"

"Shut up."

"Gaara!" I moan and he pumps into me, he fills me completely and it's tight, grazing my insides, but I can take it, hallucination gone, reality hitting hard, this is Gaara making love to me, no fucking me, because of me, this is not love making.

" I-Gaa…ra- I'm-"

"Shut up."

And I cry.

She cries and he loosens her grip on him as he moves off her and rolls to her side instead. "This is not love, this is sex Sakura." She brings her hands upon her face trying to control her sobbing but they don't cease.

"You have your Gaara to get back to, do you not? I wonder how he'll feel…tell him this for me." He is placing his clothes on, and the rain is still ongoing.

"Payback is a bitch."

He finishes, I never orgasm, I am sure he doesn't cum either, it was a natural end. He doesn't fall against me, he doesn't roll to his side, he doesn't remark with cruel words, he simply gets up, zips up what needs to be zipped up and walks away.

" I loved you."

" I loved…you"

" You don't know what love is." She moves, crawls while the sheets partially cover her form, the darkness covering the rest. " I…loved… love you." He stares down at her, his nose stuck up and he grunts in annoyance. " You're pathetic."

He turns to move but her hands grips his leg. " I know…that I love you, and you…Sasuke-kun." he turns his body acutely to her. He is listening she could feel his and her heart beating.

"You love me to." He doesn't respond but instead bends down and turns to her, eyes stabbing. He smirks and she lets the tears match the downpour outside. ' no…he loves…no he doesn't love…'

He kisses her and she responds instantaneously but he pulls back. " Hn, I guess I do. That's what makes this so much fun." He gets up and leaves the shambled shack.

'Gaara, I am so sorry'

"Gaara…I'm sorry." He doesn't hear me, I don't move, even though I am in soiled sheets, and the sent of sex lingers in the air, I lay there, staring at the ceiling.

Sometimes I want to pretend what is real, is not.

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted.

With that…as I am unable to decipher real from fantasy, as I am unable to realize what is past and what is present, my life in itself becomes distorted.

What is happening to me? I'm going to- I'm losing control over my mind- I've got to kill off this thinking, It's starting to sink in…

" I loved you too…"

Without you I can finally see.

"Gaara...Thank you for loving me enough to let me go."

I am horrid, this has to be the most crackish fic I have ever made, ever. Just stop reading guys, seriously rofl! Some words were inspired by "Attack" from 30 seconds to mars lyrics. Try to find them!

But! If you wish to leave a review stating your disgust, go right ahead, It's not over yet got about 4 or 5 more chapters to go!