seventeen

Merlin almost wished Arthur wasn't being so patient. There was a part of him that wanted his lover to shout at him, forcing him to revel all. They'd stayed in the shower until Morgana had shouted that they needed to pack. Just holding one another, hoping the world would go away, Arthur burying his face into Merlin's shoulder so he didn't have to look the warlock in the eye. Merlin and Arthur hadn't spoken since

"Will this even fit Morgana?"

The seer looked down from the balcony, watching the two boys lug Merlin's ancient chest of draws into the car boot.

"Sure." She shrugged, taking a sip of tea.

"What I don't see," said Gwen, who was trying to negotiate the lever to put the back seat forward, "Is why you need to bring it in the first place."

Arthur just looked away; he wasn't going to say anything. He was wearing an expression of long suffering that really didn't suit him.

Merlin just bit his lip and ignored the question; there really wasn't a simple answer anyway. Not one he could prove.

They'd been driving nearly an hour when Arthur fell asleep, quickly joint by Morgana. Merlin was left to make awkward conversation with Gwen, who was driving. He really didn't know what to say to her, how much did she know about the past?

"How long have you known Morgana?"

"Oh, since primary school." She smiled shyly, "Our class were making mother's day cards, and we were the only ones in the class who didn't have anyone to make cards for, so the teacher sat us in the corner. We've been friends ever since."

"Your mother…"

Gwen nodded stiffly, "When I was born."

"Sorry," Merlin winced.

"Don't worry, I know she doesn't look it, but Morgana's quite the mothering type."

Merlin looked at Morgana in the passenger seat, her mouth slightly open in sleep, her green hoodie pulled over her head.

He laughed, "Really? Well, you know her best."

Gwen shook her head, "I've known her all my life but she's got secrets."

Merlin nodded. He remembered what his mother had once told in answer to an innocent childhood query.

"Why did the Lady Morgana go bad mummy?"

"That's what happens when you let a secret fester inside you. She knew that the King, however much he loved her, wouldn't hesitate to have her killed if her secret was revealed. She was brought up to believe that her magic was evil, imagine how that feels."

Merlin looked again at Morgana's peaceful smile.

"You and Arthur seem…." She blushed suddenly, "I didn't mean to pry, sorry."

"No, no. It's fine."

"He really loves you." Gwen sighed wistfully, "When we were…"

Merlin raised an eyebrow, "You and Arthur!"

"It was a long time ago," Gwen blushed again "It's was so awkward, Like we were always trying to apologise for something."

Merlin smiled 'or someone, long ago' he thought 'she doesn't have a clue', "Thanks."

"You're welcome,"

They sat in silence for a while, not sure what to say next.

"You remind me of Morgana." Gwen said suddenly, "she's into that New Agey stuff."

"Yeah, we had a brief chat about it yesterday,"

"I'm glad. At uni she's so insular. I think she fell in with the wrong people. She used to wake up in the night jabbering about monsters, tripping, maybe. It was frightening. You do know she's epileptic."

"No I didn't." That surprised him.

"Uthur's taken her to countless doctors. They think the dreams are just side effects. To be honest," she confided, "I don't think anyone who knows what's wrong with her. Not even her"

Merlin could see the stress on Gwen's face. He wondered how many sleepiness nights she'd had to stay up with her friend, trying to calm her down.

"I don't understand the pagan stuff, but it keeps her calm." Gwen continued, she obviously needed someone to unburden her heart to, "She'd been exploring different religions for years. Buddhism, Islam, she spent months at a Russian Orthodox Church at one time. What about you, are you Wiccan or something."

Merlin laughed at the common misconception, "C of E actually, Anglican"

"I'm so sorry." Gwen looked totally mortified.

"It's the name isn't it?"

She nodded, trying to apologise.

He waved her apologise away, "Old family name. Emrys mean Merlin in old Welsh, I could have been Ambrosius so I suppose I'm lucky."

"Ambrosius?"

"The Ye Olde English for Merlin."

Gwen laughed, the permanent blush leaving her cheeks slightly "Merlin Merlin!"

Morgana stirred slightly, "Are we nearly there yet?"

They both laughed, but Merlin felt a slight uneasiness settle over him. What was he leading them into?

it's taking longer than i thought ot get this started. please stick with it.

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