I know this took forever and a month of Sundays (literally) but I blame the place of mental torture (my university) and the final exams (if I pass I'll be graduating) so it required lots of effort. Anyhow here it be...

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, not Bleach and not the Alice in Wonderland plot to which this is set. (Bold writing within the chapter will indicate extracts from the Disney Alice in Wonderland script)

THE FAIR LADY HARRIBEL

The house ended up being further away then Ichigo thought and since the sun was in full shine he was quite thirsty when he finally reached the front door. He took a moment to pause in the shadow of the house and to give it closer inspection. It appeared rather quaint and in good condition for a house seemingly in the middle of nowhere and for the first time Ichigo wondered about the inhabitants and whether they would be able to help him.

Deciding it didn't matter who the occupants were as long as they could offer some kind of help, Ichigo lifted his hand and gave a firm knock. Nothing happened. He knew there was definitely someone inside as he had heard faint noises and yelling so he tried a second time only a little louder. Still nothing. Now he was just plain irritated as it was just plain rude to ignore a visitor. He tried one last time as well as calling out before he simply opened the door. Admittedly he was slightly shocked that the door wasn't locked but did not dwell on the thought for long.

Ichigo entered the house cautiously, examining the contents in the process. It appeared he was in some sort of lounge with comfy looking couches and several tea corner tables with odds and ends stacked on top of them. He didn't bother staying in the room for long as he heard voices and a crying baby further ahead.

He followed the voices and eventually came upon a kitchen. Inside the kitchen were two woman and a howling baby and to his astonishment all three of them were arrancar one woman being Harribel, the baby was Yammy and the third woman he didn't recognise. I probably shouldn't be so surprised he thought wryly as he waited for them to notice him.

Harribel seemed to have her hands full trying to calm baby Yammy while simultaneously giving orders to the other female arrancar who seemed to be occupied with a big cauldron of soup.

"Cirucci, how many times have I told you not to throw in so much pepper?" demanded Harribel

"'Bout as many times as I told you that a good soup needs lots of pepper!" Cirucci retorted while haphazardly tossing in more pepper and swirling the bubbling brew.

Harribel shook her head before she commented "Yes, and you always ruin it"

"I DO NOT!" the infuriated cook yelled causing the baby Yammy to howl louder than before.

Ichigo clenched his teeth at the ruckus and was sorely tempted to block his ears. He did duck however when Cirucci started hurtling kitchen utensils and apparatus in all directions, somehow still managing to add pepper to the soup.

Harribel was obviously getting irritated at the situation of a screaming baby and an irrational cook so she just about snapped her next words, "Cirucci did you even remember to call the baby sitter?"

"YES I DID" Cirucci shouted back, being pretty agitated herself.

"THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT! WHERE IS SHE THEN?" demanded Harribel beginning to raise her voice too.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW AND YOU'RE YELLING TOO!" screamed Cirucci back.

Ichigo decided now would be a good time to intervene before things got any louder or more out of hand and quickly interjected "I can help"

Almost immediately the noise stopped except for the wailing baby. Harribel narrowed her eyes as she stared intensely at Ichigo. She perused his person for a minute or so before turning back to the arrancar cook.

"Why is the baby sitter a male Cirucci" queried Harribel with a questioning look on her face

"I never asked for him that's for sure" Cirucci sneered

Sensing another argument on the rise Ichigo interceded again.

"No, I'm no baby sitter, I'm here to ask for directions but I have experience with little children and babies since I have two younger sisters so I can help"

Harribel went back to regarding him, "Hmmm... is that so"

She made quick steps across the floor and handed the whiny baby over to Ichigo. She then watched in wonder as Ichigo gently rocked Yammy giving him a knuckle to nibble on. She smiled gently before speaking again.

"Sorry about earlier, my household always seems in some state of chaos. I am the Grand Duchess Harribel and that is the cook Cirucci" she said

"It's a pleasure to meet you Duchess and err.. Cirucci" Ichigo replied

Cirucci merely muttered in the background before Ichigo spoke again.

"I was actually wondering Duchess if you could tell me where I could find Ulquirorra... I mean the white rabbit" asked Ichigo

Duchess Harribel looked contemplative, muttering about a white rabbit under her breath, suddenly she froze before exclaiming "The White Rabbit! How could I forget I'm supposed to go see her Majesty!"

She started towards the kitchen door before suddenly stopping and turning back to Ichigo. "I know you're not the baby sitter but I'm late to see the queen so you will have to do" She then hurried out the door leaving a stunned Ichigo in her wake.

It didn't take Ichigo long to shake himself out of his stupor and follow her out the kitchen door yelling "WAIT!" When he got outside he found no trace of her as she had simply vanished, leaving him with a wiggling baby Yammy in his arms.

He was surprised yet again, hearing chuckling coming from behind him and a deep male voice murmured "Ya do know ya not holding a baby right?"

He was about to whirl around to retort when he happened to glance down and see not baby Yammy but a piglet. He was so shocked that he dropped the piglet and it quickly scurried into the forest squealing and grunting.

"Told ya so" the smug voice stated before starting to sing a nonsensical song,

" 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths outgrabe."

Ichigo finally turned to see who had spoken and was shocked at who he saw...