Thank you to all my lovely reviewers and to the people who have favorited/followed this story. You are an absolute encouragement. Writing is my escape, so please enjoy whatever madness my brain concocted in the last few weeks.

Disclaimer: I don't own the shoes I'm wearing or Victorious.

Chapter Four: Make Or Break Me (Part One)

The things that we bury

can tell you a lot about

who we are.

The difference between

a garden and a graveyard

is only what we choose

to put in the soil.

-Rudy Francisco

…

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Ugh."

"Yay, morning!"

"No."

While Cat scampers out of bed, Jade scowls and buries her face in the blankets. Her bedside lamp flickers on a moment later, and a whine nobody but her best friend will ever hear escapes her mouth.

"Cat!"

"Oh my god, our auditions are today!"

"Yeah, all the more reason for me to sleep." Jade rolls onto her back and shoves a pillow over her face to better block out the light, but not two seconds later, Cat is straddling her hips and trying to shake the pillow free from her grasp.

"Come on, Jade!"

"Ugh," Jade repeats, her voice muffled from the pillow. "Cat, get off! I have to pee."

"I won't get off until you get up."

"I can't get up when you're sitting on me! Get off my freaking bladder."

"Oh yeah…" Cat lets go of the pillow. "Promise you'll get up if I move?"

"Okay, okay, I promise."

"Kay kay!"

When Cat crawls off of her, Jade flings the pillow to the side and rubs her eyes.

"Come on, Mr. Longneck! Let's go get dressed." Cat's bare feet pad across the floor and Jade sits up in bed, running her hand through her tangled waves of hair. She squints and blinks for a minute as her eyes adjust to the light.

"What?" she demands at Cat's sudden, incessant giggling. The tiny girl stands in the middle of the bedroom in a bra and pajama shorts, looking from Mr. Longneck to her pink suitcase.

"I told Mr. Longneck to get dressed with me, but he doesn't have clothes," Cat says in a duh-tone. Suddenly, her expression shifts into concern. "Do animals need to wear clothes? I don't want him to be embarrassed for being naked."

"For God's sake, he's just a-" She stops her voice from rising. "No, Cat. Your giraffe is fine."

"Kay kay!"

Jade slides out of bed and walks to her bathroom for a moment of peace. As she pulls her hair into a bun so she can wash her face, her mind runs a million miles a minute.

It's today. I have to make it. I have to make it.

Jade finishes her makeup just as Cat flounces into the bathroom after taking God knows how long to get dressed.

"I'm getting coffee," Jade says and makes her way downstairs where Eli sits at the table shoveling cereal into his mouth.

She covers her ears. "Oh my god, be quiet! You eat like a pig."

"I'm hungry." His reply is muffled by his Lucky Charms threatening to make a reappearance in front of him, and milk dribbles down his chin.

"Jade, let him be," her mother sighs as she packs Eli's lunchbox at the kitchen counter.

"My audition is today. Expect to hear singing," Jade says plainly, wishing the coffee machine would hurry up and make her damn coffee.

"That's fine, honey."

Eli swallows. "Break a leg, Jade! Actually, break two legs. Break all your legs."

"Thanks, E. I always suspected I might be an octopus. Glad we cleared that up."

Back in her room, Jade gets herself dressed, packs her backpack, and slides her jewelry on. Cat emerges from the bathroom with her curly hair in two low pigtails, and her giraffe now wears a bow on its head.

"Hey Jade, when my parents get back from taking my brother to his 'special doctor', we should have a sleepover at my house! It would be so much fun!"

"Uh… I'll pass. Last time I was over, your brother stole my underwear out of my suitcase and wore it as a hat, and I don't have the patience to deal with that."

"He is weird… Oh! Beck said in Ca-"

"Hey, let's practice our audition songs a few more times before school."

"Okay! And then can we go downstairs and get Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

"Yes, Cat. Then we'll get your beloved Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

…

'You know those families that have a really talented kid and they're always in awe at the kid's voice and they get to sing whenever they want? That's Cat's family. My fucking family has banished my singing 99% of the time unless they're either out of the house or it's an audition day. Other than that, it's "shut up, Jade!". Really guys, I'm not that bad. But today is an audition day. I have to nail this. I have to. Please, God, let me nail this.'

…

"Jade, look!" Eli exclaims, carrying a sloshing cup of orange juice towards where his sister stands at the kitchen counter, digging through her purse.

"Not now."

"I put a candy cane in it! See?"

"Eli, no-"

As Eli holds up the cup, the juice sloshes over onto the sheet music placed next to Jade on the counter.

"Eli!" Jade shrieks. She's quick to snatch a towel from next to the sink, but the page is stained orange and the ink has already blurred.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"It doesn't matter what you meant! It happened."

"Girls, we have to leave. Eli, put your shoes on," Laurie calls from her bedroom. Eli stands, tears welling up in his blue eyes, staring bewilderedly at the mess he's made.

"Fricking heck, ugh!" Jade exclaims, censoring her words to avoid being grounded. After slamming the rag down on the counter, she rushes to her computer to print another copy only to find it dead. "No no no no no," Jade says, then lets out a frustrated scream.

"What?" asks Cat from her seat at the kitchen table.

"Eli ruined my sheet music and my computer is dead and there's not enough time for it to turn on."

"Oh no."

Jade desperately scans the kitchen, muttering under her breath, "Where's the damn charger?"

"Jade, Cat, get in the car please!" Laurie says, striding into the kitchen. "What happened?"

"Eli spilled orange juice all over my sheet music!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll talk to him about being more careful later, but we need to go, honey. I can't be late to work today. Get in the car."

Jade growls.

"You can just sing it acapella. You'll still sound amazing," Cat reassures her as they head towards the car. Jade doesn't speak because the tears that have been prickling behind her eyes all morning are threatening to fall. Her throat is tense, and she swallows hard, digging her fingernails into her palms to release if only some of the tension binding her body.

I have to get this right. I have to.

…

"What's up with you?" Andre asks at lunch as Jade sits down with a huff.

"Did one of Santa's reindeers bite you over Christmas?" Beck walks up to the table and takes a seat next to Jade, looking her in the eyes and giving her a teasing smile.

Her stomach flip-flops— from nerves, she tells herself.

…Definitely nerves.

"I love Santa's reindeer! My favorite one is Dancer, but there's a whole song about one that has a…" Cat hides her giggles behind her hands.

"A what, Cat?" Andre pinches the bridge of his nose, his tone full of exasperation.

"A red nose! Can you believe it? The song goes 'Rudolph the Red Nosed-'"

"Cat…" Jade cautions.

"Had a very shiny nose!"

"Cat." Jade's voice crescendos.

"-If you ever saw it!"

Beck places a hand on Cat's shoulder, momentarily distracting her from the song. "Cat," he says gently.

"Whatey?"

"Uh…" Beck frantically glances at his friends, desperate to think of a distraction. His eyes land on… "Jade has a story!" He fakes a smile and gestures at the girl beside him.

"Yeah, how was your Christmas, Jade?" Andre jumps in, causing Jade to glare at now both boys. She sighs.

"If you must know, my grandfather's stupid wife thinks we should call her 'grandma' because just calling her Susie makes her 'seem like nothing special' and 'like just any other Susie'. I wish she could just be any other Susie, ugh. Apparently we have to treat her with this thing called 'respect'. At least she gave me an expensive, pink, sparkly bottle of perfume that I can sell." She very purposefully leaves her father and Brittany out of the conversation.

"Damn, Jade," says Andre.

"Well, my brother wanted to hug our Christmas tree 'cause he said it looked fuzzy, but then when it pricked him instead, he got mad at it and took the poker thing from next to the fire place and fought it. The tree won…" Cat stares into space while the others blink at her in confusion.

"Anyway, how was your Christmas, Beck?" asks Andre.

"Pretty good. I actually went to visit my family in-"

"Did Santa come to your house, too?" Cat exclaims, causing Jade, Andre, and Beck glance at one another.

"Um, yeah, Cat. He did."

"Oh! What did he bring you?"

"Well, I got a-"

"'Cause he brought me a new friend! His name is Mr. Longneck. Wanna see?"

"Sure…" says Beck. Cat opens her backpack and pulls out her stuffed giraffe.

"Isn't he so cute? My brother thought him some bad words, though, so don't talk to him. He says dirty things."

"Trust me, Cat, we won't talk to your giraffe," Jade comments.

"You already tried to at your house last night after I told you not to. I hope you learned your lesson." Cat points an accusatory finger at Jade and gives an un-intimidating glare.

If I have to hear about that damn giraffe one more time…

Jade sighs and claps her hands together once. "Okay, yes, fine! I learned my lesson."

"Cat was at your house?" Andre inquires.

"Yeah! We get to have a sleepover allllll week 'cause my parents took my brother to some doctor Santa Fe. Oh, and Jade won't come over to my house ever since-"

"Why do you care, Harris?"

"It still weirds me out that you two are actually friends."

Cat smiles innocently. "Jade's a really good friend. She just likes to pretend like she's not."

…

'Lord help me. This is about to be the longest week of my life.'

…

A/N: So it's been a minute. I lied when I said it was "almost done." My brain decided 'let's expand this almost done chapter to make it five times as long' so here we are. I've split it into three sections because over 5,000 words would be a long ass chapter. Thank you all for being patient with me the last few weeks. Let me know what you think! Part Two is being posted tomorrow :) Also, I'm going to start closing with a Jade West quote, so…

"Enjoy my monkey fur!"

-Jade V.