Chapter 4

I give her a quick kiss and push through the crowd until she's out of my field of vision. Ok where too now? I see a few nearby stores like forever 21, Pacsun ,Abercrombie and Fitch, and I must go to Sephora after.

I just saw two of Christian Grey's friends with some random girls as I was going into a department store but he wasn't anywhere in site, Too bad. I'm feeling surprisingly good today. I have a little tan going on and my legs look slightly toned. A few boys have glanced at me todayhere it but that's about it. Story of my life. I'd feel stupid alone anyway if some random guy tried to pick me up. Who am I kidding? I fucking wish a guy would pick me up!

These are the times when I need and miss my best friend to do the everyday stuff with, like going the mall, the beach, or just hanging out. I feel kind of lonely all of a sudden but I'd better get used to it. Even at school we barely saw each other. We had different schedules including lunch. We had PE together last year and that was it. The only time we saw each other at school was on the bus ride back and forth.

Next stop is Hollister; let me put my gas mask on first so I don't choke to death on the overwhelming scent of perfume and body spray. That's the one and only thing I hate about that store, other than that clothes here are really cute. Justin worked here for almost 2 years at this location then transferred to another store in NYC near his college. I know most of the staff here, but I always feel out of place especially during back to school time when everyone from my school is shopping in this mall.

The music is blasting some happy summer theme as I slowly browse the store hoping to find some cute stuff. The bitchy girls at my school travel in packs like rabid wolves and buy matching outfits to show everyone at school that they are "besties". Ugh, that annoys the shit out of me.

I found some cute skinny jeans, sweatpants, tees, shorts and a ruffled white bikini on clearance plus a few other items and I get on line for the fitting room. The line is so long and they only have 4 fitting rooms that are very tiny. Finally I get in a room and try on the clothes. Mostly everything fits and I'm so happy. I get on the beyond long checkout line to pay and wait my turn, everyone is loud and animated and their arms are filled with piles of clothing. I see some angry moms shaking their heads as they swipe their credit cards, so I'm happy I ditched my mother.

I see a few girls from my school and try to hide under my pile of clothes so they don't see me alone. I don't feel like being seen by those girls especially one of them. I try not to look in front of me or behind me ,just down. After they leave I let out a sigh of relief, whew, they didn't see me! I usually would call a friend to shop with me but since my mom took me today I didn't want to ask anyone to go, that's just awkward, anyway nobody really asks me to hang out and I still haven't called Alexa.

I can usually get my mother to spend more money on me if I make her feel bad that I'm alone, hey whatever works right? I have some money saved from my job at the hardware store. I have been working at Clayton's three days a week after school for two years but i decided to take this summer off. Mr Clayton says I can come back anytime but I need to keep my grades up this year so I get into a good college so I may only work weekends starting in the fall. My mom said I should save my money for something special so its in the bank. Im really saving it in case my mom needs it in an emergency although she'd never ask

I honestly don't mind shopping alone sometimes, this way I get what I need, take my time and don't have to give my critique on who's ass looks good in this or that or wait 30 minutes for someone to try on clothes. Today especially because I'm buying stuff I wouldn't normally wear to school. I mean I do wear these brands it's just I always buy stuff looser, never really tight fitting but I have no reason to hide my body. I've just been doing it for so long it's become a habit. A bad habit, that ends now.

The cashier recognizes me and makes small talk about my brother and how she's going away to school soon and to say hi to Justin, just blabbering on, she so perky. I got a really good employee discount from my brother working there! She even gives me a card for an additional 40% off my next purchase and I smile, pay and thank her. Behind me I hear a voice saying "You better share that" I turn around Oh holy hell, its Christian Grey, OMG I seriously can't breathe. I smile shy like a dork and he says "Maybe I should go shopping with you next time, you've got connections gorgeous" and he raises his brow then winks at me. Okay call 911 I'm dead !

I just stand frozen staring at him like an idiot and then in an uber dorky move I hand him my discount card that the cashier just gave me.

"Here" as my voice cracks awkwardly.

He looks at me and gives me a sexy smile and says "Thanks Anastasia" with an almost laugh.

"You're welcome" I reply in a low whispery voice. He remembered my name? I'm totally shocked that he knows I still exist since third grade. Oh fuck, it's the damn pool picture probably, geez that's so embarrassing. He smiles at me again. I head anxiously to the store exit.

Whoa, what was that?

As I leave the store I try so very hard to suppress my grin. oh Gosh he is just so cute it's so not fair. I head straight to the bathroom and lock myself in the stall so I can let lose my grin and jump up and down a few times I need to regain my composure from this , He spoke to me, like actual words and my name, he said my full name. I have known him since 3rd grade and we have never spoken a word to each other until now except that time he handed me my books by the locker once. No doubt I will spend every waking and sleeping moment for the rest of my life thinking about how he called me "gorgeous" winked at me and he knew my name. He knew my fucking name ahhhhhhh! .

Besides the whole pool bikini perverted looking picture, it's probably because his evil girlfriend Megan has called me a few nasty names in the halls before oh yeah not to mention I had 2 classes with him a few years ago and we went to the same elementary school, we just never spoke so I assumed he thought I was invisible. I think Megan hates me because she used to like my brother Justin but he wasn't into her. He prefers the earthy flower child type girls who don't wear too much makeup. Whatever, who cares, Christian is just smoking' hot and nobody is going to fuck up my fantasy!

I text my mom and she says she's going for lunch at Nordstrom Bistro, yum I love the Margherita Pizza there but I want to get more stuff for school. I need some shoes and sneakers for PE. I agree to meet her at around 3pm so that gives me like 90 more minutes to shop. Okay I remember I have to pee while I'm in here duh! Then I wash my hands, check my shoes for toilet paper (I've been known to drag a long piece on my shoe every now and then), and then I head back in to the busy mall.

I'm overly excited about what happened in Hollister and I'm suddenly very thirsty too. I get a raspberry smoothie at the food court and continue strolling happily through the mall. Just as I am feeling an all-time happiness high, the 3 girls I hate and avoided in Hollister are walking directly towards me. I try walking to the other side but they stop me and ask me why I'm alone , I roll my eyes at them and they verbally attack me with immature name calling like bitch, loser, the usual mean girl monologue and of course bring up my picture that apparently spread around like the bubonic plague. God I want to punch them. I turn around and start to walk away.

I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I pray for them not to fall. They fall anyway. Betrayal... ugh I have to get away. As start to walk away with my head down I crash hard into someone and drop my bags on the floor but somehow I manage to hang on to my smoothie and not spill it all over me.

"I'm sorry" I murmur in that crying voice; you know the one you get when you're trying not to cry. I look up and Oh holy crap, it's him again, Christian Grey. My fantasy of him falling madly in love with me from our brief Hollister encounter is over and has now come to an untimely and abrupt halt. I feel another wave of humiliation wash over me as I try to pick up my bags.

"You okay?" he asks as he picks up my stuff and hands it to me.

Oh yes, I'm great I was just humiliated and bullied in a crowded mall so, uh no. The girls continue their verbal assault on me while laughing and obviously trying to impress Christian. Christian glances over at them and says "Grow up.", they look a bit stunned and walk away embarrassed. Hmm that's was very considerate of him, but I need to get away from this humiliation right now.

"Thank you" I say in a whisper and try to hurry off but he gently taps my arm and says

"Wait, a minute Anastasia".

I stand there like an idiot then look up at him.

I feel so humiliated I just need to run away but I don't want to look like a lunatic.

I try to discreetly wipe my tears, and then use my napkin from the smoothie place.

"Don't cry" he says sweetly then says "those girls are pathetic" and I nod in agreement.

"Do you want to go sit down with me for a minute? He asks."

Wait, What? Why does he want me to sit with him? I feel flushed all of a sudden and nervous . I don't answer I just nod in affirmation and walk with him peeking at him from the corner of my eye. He has a really sexy walk and is even better looking up close. Please dear God don't let me make a fool of myself.Oh too late.

We walk to an empty bench near the fountain in the center of the mall. He asks again if I'm okay and I tell him I'm fine but I'm not. I'm fucking humiliated, but happy to be sitting so close to him. Why of all days did this have to happen to me today? I've never said shit to those girls. I'm so tired of this. Too add insult to injury I'm sure Christian knows I have a crush on him mainly because most girls at our school do. I know he's seen me gawking at him like some lovesick puppy more than a few times.

I feel so out of place as we sit on the bench together. I can't even look at him because he makes me so nervous. He casually makes some small talk about school to break the ice and how he had to visit his grandma in Seattle for a week and said he loved it there. He asks me about my summer so far and I briefly tell him about my trip without rambling on and on .I'm guessing he did that to get my mind off what just happened knowing how humiliated I must feel. Once again I'm surprised by how very considerate he seems.

He smells really good too, like a fresh beachy outdoor clean scent mixed with sunscreen and sandalwood and I just want to lean in a take a big deep breath but um yeah that would be weird. He is so kind, that was a super nice gesture to help me out of what could have been a much worse scenario. Before he defended my photo I sort of had him pegged as a cocky, jock asshole who thinks he's awesome but clearly he's not like that at all. He's really nice actually and it seems he was raised well and taught manners which are refreshing especially in boys. But he is the most popular boy at school and really in my neighborhood so I don't have a chance.

I also note that he doesn't seem embarrassed to be seen with me. Okay so my self-esteem has been at an all-time low lately because I'm always thinking about boys, sex and my lack thereof so I'm not feeling too good about myself. We talk a little bit more and I thank him again for defending me. He humbly accepts my thanks and asks me if I want to walk around with him. Holy hell, this can't be happening, yes! Yes! I want to walk around with you and other stuff, stop thinking dirty thoughts Ana calm down, deep breath.

He says he's here with a few friends who ditched him for girls; I laugh and tell him that I saw them near Dillard's & how I ditched my mom and her cougar BFF. I really want to say yes to walk around the mall with him but then I remember his girlfriend Megan and I don't need to get harassed by her and her friends on the 1st day of school. I probably could kick her ass but I never stand up for myself, I wish I could.

I still haven't answered him about walking around yet so we talk a bit more and he tells me that he broke up with his girlfriend just before school ended. How did I not know about this, hmm? My ears perk up like a dog! He says they broke up in late May because she was cheating on him with her sister's ex-boyfriend who is 25 and it had been going on for a few months. He said he was relieved anyway because she had changed.

Hmm.. Mr. Hottie is single? YES, but don't hold your breath Steele. He doesn't go for your type. Wait maybe he does. I mean he's here with me right now talking to me. No I dismiss the ridiculous hope that is obviously clouding up my mind. He just feels bad for you and is being nice. I am the friend type, surely not his type. I finally just stand up and agree to walk with him.

We walk around the mall for a little while just passing by the stores and not going into any of them which I'm happy about because it keeps him taking to me. We just talk some more about summer and the upcoming school year. I seriously hope we have classes together .We had science and math together in 10th grade but never really spoke, last year we had no classes but his ex- girlfriend Megan Rossi was in my PE class. He did most of the talking during our walk and really I only just answered his questions. He said that I'm so quiet in school and it's nice to hear my voice. Double awkward!

At around 3pm my mom texts me and I tell Christian that I have to go meet her and go home. I could probably stay longer with him but why get my hopes up. This boy is so far out of my league, he could easily have any girl at school. I don't think he likes me the way I like him. I'm sure it was just him being kind and helping me out of a bad situation. Either way I'm thankful for his intervention today. I would have probably left the mall if he didn't stop to help me.

"Thanks again for helping me out Christian , It was really nice talking to you," I mutter "I won't take it personally if you see me at school in and don't say hello" I whisper, Oh shit did I just say that out loud? I'm total loser, its official. I heard that in a movie once I think. Oh lord what is wrong with me? I'm just awkward it sad.

"What? He says in an almost laugh but looks surprised.

"Why wouldn't I say hello to you Ana?" he really has to ask that?

"Um I don't know" I say mortified

He smiles at me and shakes his head slightly and says "What are you doing tomorrow?"

I look at him confused. Where is he going with this?

"Nothing really" I mumble because that's what I do every day.

"Do you want to go out with me tomorrow night?" he grins and looks me right in my eyes.

My eyes are bulging and popping out of my head what, seriously? Oh gosh YES! I think I'm going to pass out I need an ambulance. Ok slowly breathe, breathe.

"Um okay" I say with a shy smile.

"Yeah?" He asks

"Yes" I whisper back.

Can it be possible he wants to go out on a date with me? Well he asked me so I guess he does. I sure as heck want to go out with him. I feel the butterflies inside my stomach whenever I look at him. I feel them everywhere. Oh God this is really real.

We exchange cell phone numbers and he says he'll text me tomorrow afternoon. He walks me towards Nordstrom where I am supposed to meet my mom. I don't see her or Lana (Thank God! That would be embarrassing) so shes probably still eating lunch. I stop at the entrance and I feel to shy to speak.

"I'm gonna go find my friends now and head home. I'll see you tomorrow night." He says

I smile really big and bite my bottom lip and nod.

He leans down and kisses me softly on my cheek and just brushes over my hand with his.

"Later Ana" and he walks away.

I cant respond.

I stand frozen for a few seconds unable to process what just happened to me.

Okay so here we go, we got some chemistry going on here. I hope you're enjoying the story so far, lots more to come.

17 is such an amazing time when your crazy about someone and all the butterflies and excitement that come with first love. I still remember mine under the school bleachers...I'm kidding that was middle school.

I just need to laugh sometimes so I hope my little end notes give you a laugh. Life has been so hard for so long and I'm grateful for this escape.

Love to you all. Smile today even for just a few seconds.