Draco Malfoy and His Quest to Sensibility
by cleury
Chapter IV
Easy. It was supposed to be easy.
She's the person you hate most. You don't even care about Potterhead and Weaselbee anymore.
He just needed to let go. Then what he claimed as his dearest wish would come true. Just like magic, except without any wands or spells. He could feel his fingers slipping and he directed all his strength to them, trying to tighten his grip.
"Didn't you want me gone? Dead?"
Draco gritted his teeth. She's just a Mudblood.
"You said no one wanted me in this world. I'm doing them a favour," she mimicked his falsetto from before.
She's the one asking for it! Though his brain told him all this, Draco continued to keep a vice-like grip on Hermione's elbow. Obviously, his body didn't want the girl to die. Draco felt a queasy sensation in his stomach. "Use your legs and push. I can't pull you up myself!"
Hermione shook her head and Draco could see the stubborn shine bright in her eyes. "You wanted me dead, now you're going to get it. Aren't you happy?"
Draco scowled, when he pulled her back up, he planned to beat her up. Future plans readied, he finally conceded. "Of course not!"
Hermione smiled softly, spiralling Draco into even further confusion. "This thing between us. The hate, it's toxic. No, don't give me that look. I'm not talking about blood purism, but the insults you throw at me. It's destroying me and it's going to destroy you too."
Draco felt the strength in his fingers sapping away. "Just come back up. You can convince me more then." For the first time in his life, he was afraid for Hermione. Even when Bellatrix tortured her in front of him, he had been more afraid of what might happen to himself if he gave in and stopped his aunt. Now he was afraid for the woman. If she slipped from his grasp, she would go plummeting to her death.
Hermione raised the hand that had been dangling in the air. Draco let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Hermione smirked and wrenched Draco's hand away from the crook of her elbow. "Granger, what are you, NO-!" Draco's mouth fell open. For a moment, their eyes met. Hermione smiled as she fell.
"Shit!" Draco swore, his legs lost feeling and gave way under him. He slunk beneath the railing for support, gasping raggedly. "She fell! Dead!"He whipped his head around. No one had seen him, if he pretended he'd been in his room all night… Was it my fault? Draco raked a trembling hand through his hair. Technically, she jumped off the building herself. He even tried saving her. But she was so stubborn. To his horror, Draco let out a strangled sob. He muffled the sound with his forearm and closed his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts.
A few seconds after Hermione had jumped, Draco heard a loud thud beside him. His arms turned to jelly and he couldn't stop shaking. His hair fell from its gelled style, a few strands stuck to his clammy forehead. Draco clamped his hands over his mouth and leaned forward willing his gag reflex to pass. But the more he tried not to think about throwing up, the more nauseous he became. He turned his face towards the railing and regurgitated his dinner.
"Yuck!"
Draco wiped his mouth with his sleeve as he turned his head towards the voice. He reeled backwards and saw Hermione sprawled beside him, her hair in disarray. She winced as she tried to sit up.
"What the— Are you a ghost?" shouted Draco. She certainly didn't look transparent.
"No, I'm not," said Hermione, enjoying Draco's confusion.
"So you're alive?" Draco said quietly, breathing a sigh of relief. "So you're alive."
"I think I've proven my point. You don't actually want me to die."
Draco scowled. "That doesn't prove anything!"
"Yes it does," said Hermione hotly. "You were trying far too hard to save me for someone who wanted me to die."
"Anyone would have done the same in that situation!" said Draco, exasperated.
Hermione shook her head. "No, I can think of people who would happily push me off the balcony, Voldemort, your father, your aunt..." Hermione held up a finger for each name she listed. Draco scowled. "What I'm getting at is that, if you truly wanted me to die, you wouldn't have tried to save me."
"If I had a second chance, I'd drop you," muttered Draco under his breath.
"What was that?" said Hermione sweetly.
"Nothing."
"Aw, you've learnt your lesson." Hermione patted Draco on the cheek in a grandmotherly fashion. "You're watching what you say so you don't hurt my feelings. You're so sweet."
He scrubbed his face with his hands, he hadn't felt so tired and utterly defeated since the war ended. He shouldn't be so affected by the likes of Hermione. Correction, he wasn't affected. "Only so you won't go jumping off buildings again," he said, wanting the ordeal to be over and to be left in peace.
"That's a good start. Now," she began in a business-like manner, "how about we tone down our insults? I mean, both of us have too much pride to avoid each other. There is no way we can be in the same room and not throw quips without combusting into flames... but no more toxic insults. And if you act less…" she wrinkled her nose, "obnoxious, I'll be less bossy."
"Um," Draco said, putting his hand up as though he was attending class, "why are-"
"But I really don't think we can be friends," Hermione said, cutting him off. Whether it was deliberate, Draco could only guess. "Civil. I think the both of us could manage that."
Hermione gave a toothy smile and Draco scrambled backwards, hitting his head on the railing. When Hermione saw Draco's reaction, she giggled. "You're not doing well, are you?"
Draco burned tomato red and clenched his fists, ready to launch into a verbal spar with the woman.
"Did you seriously think this place would have a rooftop with no wards to prevent people from jumping?"
Draco's throat dried up and he swallowed several times before he found his voice again. His mind churned over what she said and came to a single conclusion. "You tricked me?"
Hermione shrugged. "It's common sense for a hospital to have wards like these," she replied.
"You weren't sure there would be wards?" his voice shifted into the higher registers of hysteria.
"I made an educated guess," said Hermione. "I had a point to prove."
"You and your-" exclaimed Draco.
"What?"
He breathed heavily and shook his head several times, confused. When had he last felt so strongly about something? More like, when was the last time I had to deal with someone so annoying for such a long time without being able to fire them and ban them from ever coming near me again? He couldn't understand just why Hermione went so far to prove a point. Even at the extent of risking her life! Didn't the war teach her life was precious or something sappy like that? "Just to teach me a lesson," Draco waved his arms in large motions to convey the incredulity. "You could've died!"
"It was a lesson that needed to be taught! I'm sure people have tried to die for sillier things." Hermione had a glint in her eye as though she suggested something. Draco looked away, arms crossed against his chest, not liking what she'd been implying one bit. He kept his mouth sewed shut and bit back his reply. Hermione chuckled, knowing she had won the round. "Truce?"
Draco grunted, having no energy to muster an adequate response.
"As loquacious as ever." Hermione held up her pinky finger. Draco looked at it and sighed.
"Really, Granger?"
"Really. Don't underestimate a pinky-promise. It's almost as potent as an Unbreakable Vow."
Draco snorted. "Sure, whatever."He hooked his pinky around Hermione's. "You happy now?"
"Ecstatic. Good night, Malfoy."
She exited the rooftop and left Draco mulling alone. Though he succeeded chasing Hermione off the rooftop, it didn't go the way he'd imagined.
It'd be lovely to say what happened next was that Draco's heart grew and he was no longer the man he was before this encounter. But that didn't happen. But just for a moment, he didn't feel quite so right... just for a moment, he could claim what he felt as his own.
"Civil, huh," he said. His eyes caught movement and he looked down to see the ginger cat. "Crookshanks, right?"
The cat meowed in reply and Draco spent the next hour of the night pondering and patting the cat's head.
Morning. The birds chirped and Draco squinted at the sunlight searing into his sleepy eyes. He hadn't shut the curtains. In the Manor, no sunlight ever reached Draco's side of the room until at least noon. The Slytherin dorms were in the dungeons so Draco never understood the need to close the curtains before going to bed. He hid his head in the sheets as though he was a mountain troll scared of the sun. For a split second he had forgotten where he had spent the night. He groaned.
"YaaaAAArrrrrRRRRggggS-S-S!"
Draco almost fell out of his bed. He rolled back to face the ceiling and the offending creature pounced on his chest, having a face-down with him bright and early in the morning. He quickly sat up and shoved the cat off his bed.
"Who let you in?" he asked Crookshanks snidely and picked the orange fur off his sheets. The fur came out in tuffs. Draco frowned and tried to recollect what happened the night before.
"Oh, that's right. You bloody cat!" Draco fussed as Crookshanks jumped onto the bed and climbed onto his lap. The orange fur-ball had spent the better part of the night sidling up to Draco, after the man finally gave up on getting it off his bed, he had allowed the cat to sleep next to him.
The cat purred contentedly. "Of course you're content. You're literally sitting in the lap of luxury," Draco played with Crookshanks' ears. "You're just as troublesome as Granger."
Crookshanks' ears lowered at the sound of Hermione's name. Draco's eyes widened and a smirked tugged at his lips. "Granger," he tried again. Sure enough, the cat hissed. Draco picked Crookshanks up and made him stand on his hind legs, shifting him left and right. "You don't like her either?" Draco asked, suddenly feeling much more affection for the cat than before, even though it was a mangly, ugly looking thing. The cat yawned in response. "You're not sentient, are you?" Crookshanks shook his head. Draco didn't know what to think.
Crookshanks purred softly, having taken a liking to the scion of Malfoy. Draco stroked the cat's head absentmindedly and the two were at peace and content in each other's company until…
"Crookshanks! Where are you?"
Draco groaned and Crookshanks' ears flattened against its skull again.
"Bloody cat!" yelled Hermione.
"Oh, so there's trouble in paradise between the two of you?" Draco waggled his eyebrows and he chuckled. "Being Granger's cat must be hard."
It appeared as though Granger had heard Draco's laugh or caught wind of Crookshanks' hissing, for she opened the door to Draco's room. She stared at the scene in shock as though she had just walked in on her husband in bed with another woman. Or perhaps it was Draco's attire. Fine men did not sleep in their birthday suits, it just wasn't dignified. Instead, they slept in black silk, opting for flannel in the winter. Hermione opened her mouth, still gawking at the scene. Draco smirked at her expression.
"How did you manage to do that?" she finally uttered.
"What?"
"Crookshanks! He hates strangers."
Draco smirked. "What can I say? Even an animal's tamed after it spends a night with me."
Hermione rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the cat. "Here, Crookshanks, come to Hermione."
"Please!" Draco exclaimed. He put up a hand to hide the sight of Hermione patting her thighs to lure her cat. "Do not refer to yourself in third person. That's stuff from my nightmares."
"You mean I appear in your dreams?" said Hermione coquettishly.
"Nightmares, Granger. The ones that make me scream. What?"
" that I make you scream in your dreams." Hermione gave a toothy grin.
"Well-"
"There you are." Luna popped her head in sideways like an owl and entered the room.
Draco sighed. "Two females in my room and I haven't even gotten out of bed! Boy, am I popular!"
"I was wondering where you were. You were late for your session," Luna cocked her head to the side. "Since all of us are present, let's just have it here."
"Luna, I'll be taking Crookshanks and leaving. I didn't mean to impose-"
Luna turned to face Hermione. "You stay here too."
"Why?" Hermione's eyes widened.
"For two reasons." Luna held up two fingers in the air and waggled them. "Firstly, it's about what occurred last night. Secondly, it seems that Draco is much more cooperative when it's about you."
To both Draco and Hermione's immense horror, they burst out laughing.
"Cooperative?" she said. "Is that even a word to describe Malfoy?"
"I thought we were being civil!" Draco shot back, glaring at Hermione.
"There, you see?" Luna gestured to Draco, who frowned. "He's trying to be civil to you. I don't think he's ever extended that courtesy to anyone. And he's talking to you instead of grunting like a caveman."
Draco sighed. "What do you make me for, some brute? And don't I get a say in this? Where are my patient rights? How am I supposed to expose my inner feelings with Stranger Granger in the room?"
Luna shook her head. "Evidence suggests the contrary. You're sleeping with her cat." Luna took Hermione by the hand and sat on the bed adjacent to Draco. Crookshanks tensed, uneasy at Luna's presence in the room. Draco rubbed the cat's chin reassuringly. He didn't feel safe with the crazy woman either.
"So, would you like to explain what happened last night?"
Draco shook his head, determined to be the least of help. Hermione's hand shot up and Draco felt as though he'd been transported back in time to a Potions class. Draco sneered out of sheer habit.
"Hermione?"
"Well, I advise you to keep close security on Draco Malfoy. From one professional to the other. He pretty much attacked me on the roof."
"I did not!"
"Yes, you did," Hermione said vehemently. "You shot insults at me like you had unlimited ammo."
"Am- what?" Draco asked automatically, frustrated he didn't understand the muggle nuance. He turned to face Luna, apparently she didn't either. But that didn't make him feel much better. "We've been through this! You enjoy taking the mickey out of me as much as I do of you."
"Two wrongs don't make a right!"
"Ha!" Draco exclaimed, shoving a finger in Hermione's direction. "So you admit you were wrong."
"Only if you admit it first."
Draco bit his lip. Having Granger say she was wrong was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. "Fine, I was wrong for insulting you."
Hermione smirked. "Yeah, I thought so too."
"And now you're supposed to say?"
Hermione shrugged with an innocent look on her face. "Say what?"
"Stop!" Luna stood up. The two turned to face her, having forgotten her existence. Luna took a quill out of her pocket and muttered an incantation. It looked suspiciously like the quill Rita used to write with. "Draco, could you please explain why you decided to jump off the roof?"
Draco laughed harshly. "It wasn't me, Lovegood. It was your darling friend. Dear ol' Hermione Granger."
Luna looked shocked and Hermione turned red. "You jumped off the roof? Draco wasn't the one who set off the wards?"
Hermione nodded her head slowly and for a moment all the three could hear was the quill scratching and recording every word.
"She wanted to prove a bloody point and decided to jump off a building!" Draco exclaimed. "I shouldn't be the one in here, Granger should be."
"What?"
Luna shook her head. "Hermione jumping off the building doesn't prove that you shouldn't be here."
"Please," Draco said, waving his hand to disregard Luna's notion. "I didn't try to jump off the train platform to prove a point."
"Problems back home then?" Luna slipped in smoothly. Draco felt his insides clench up and his jaw tightened.
"No," he snapped stonily. Why did everyone assume his parents were the bad guys? Granted, his father had been a Death Eater. But his parents had been good to him, just look at how he turned out! "I told you yesterday, I'm ecstatic."
"Work?"
"No," said Draco again. Malfoy Enterprises ran smoothly. Especially after he inherited the company. Draco managed to turn it from being a corrupt company toa place that was 'sugar and spice and everything nice'. Literally. Malfoy Enterprises were now a major player in the confectionery industry and silk and spice trading.
"Friends?"
"No." His relationship with Nott was fine, thanks.
"Love?"
"Uh, no."
"Hm," Luna said, tapping her finger on her chin. "The last I heard, you were engaged to Pansy?" Luna began to suggest perhaps he'd jumped because of a broken heart. Hermione and Draco found themselves laughing at the same time again.
"Malfoy dying for love, how novel!"
"Who would die for Pansy?"
Luna looked amused at the pair. "Are you implying to me every aspect of your life is wonderful and yet you decided to jump?"
"What can I say, I'm a man of..." Draco shrugged. "Many mysteries."
"No you're not," Hermione suddenly piped up. She licked her lips; something Draco noticed she did whenever she thought. She held her tongue, hesitant.
"Then what am I? Since you're the 'Smartest Witch of the Age', why don't I leave it up to you to answer all the questions for me? You think you know me so well anyway!"
"That's exactly it," Hermione said enigmatically.
"Exactly, what?"
"Exactly!" Luna clapped her hands together as though she discovered the secret of the universe. At this point, Draco felt more than just annoyed. How dare they continue to string me along like this?
"Just spit it out. What is it?"
Draco watched in disgust as Hermione and Luna made knowing eyes to each other. Luna plucked the quill out of the air and placed it back into her pocket. "We're done for today. Thank you for your cooperation, Draco, Hermione." She nodded and walked out of Draco's room.
"What?"
Hermione also stood up, taking her leave. "I don't disclose patient information," she said in a dramatic stage-whisper, leaning coyly on the door frame.
Damn you, Granger. Damn you, Draco cursed loudly in his head. Outwardly, he gave Hermione a cheesy grin. "Haha, very funny. But you know what's even funnier?"
"What?"
"Crookshanks loves me more," Draco placed a loud smooch on top of Crookshanks' head and the cat purred. "Don't think he wants to leave, so how about he stays with me for a bit?"
Hermione huffed and stomped her foot, disappearing into the corridor.
"And they say I'm the brat!"
Crookshanks immediately started grooming himself after Hermione left, as though the spectacle he witnessed had dirtied him.
"You really are an animal after my own heart," Draco tickled Crookshanks' chin. "Immaculately well-groomed, and you hate Granger with a passion too." Suck on that, Granger, he thought. He continued doting Crookshanks just to exact a revenge on the girl. Having her beloved cat choose him over her was a small, but fantastic, victory.
Draco stared at the clock on the wall; it had struck eleven a few minutes ago, but he felt no inclination to get out of bed. After the war, he hardly felt the need to socialise or talk to anyone. And on those particular days, he didn't feel like changing out of his sleep-wear. Draco leaned back into his sheets, using it to cover his head to block out the sunlight.
"It's not like I have pants even if I did want to wear some," grumbled Draco. Hermione had indirectly ruined both his pants last night. Once with his dinner, and the second with his dinner regurgitated. Besides, he needed to mull over what Luna and Hermione made eyes at each other for. What did they know? Draco thought hard for a few moments but came up with nothing. He gave up and closed his eyes in frustration. He drifted into a dream-like trance and heard voices calling him...
Draco walked down the stairs heading towards Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. He could hear the train rumbling on its tracks. It was coming. He felt a hand reach out towards him. "Who's there?" he shouted into the darkness. No one replied and he hurried down the steps.
"You have to time this right!" his father yelled to him. "Else you'll risk shaming the Malfoy name."
Rita Skeeter appeared from behind his father's form, donned in her green business suit. She gave Draco a wave and approached him. She blew a kiss into Draco's face. "Could you make sure you land backwards so you're facing up? I want to make sure everyone knows who you are!"
Draco sneered at Skeeter. "Go away."
"And here I thought you were nasty to me because I'm a Mudblood."
Draco whirled around to face Hermione. "I don't hate you because of your blood, I-" There was the sound of clashing bells and Draco clamped his hands over his ears.
"The train's approaching. I'll go first," Hermione observed, before she leapt off the platform and disappeared.
"Wait for me!" yelled Draco. Only, he couldn't move. It felt as though he was put into a body-bind.
"Pathetic." His father appeared in front of his face, and his sneering expression grew to fill Draco's vision completely. "What kind of son are you?"
"I'm-"
"Draco, you'll be late!" Narcissa Malfoy pulled her son up and tided his clothes. "And remember, you're representing our whole family."
"B-But mother," Draco stuttered, grabbing her shoulders.
"I know you'll do your best. You always do." She smiled and gave Draco a push . He felt a rushing sensation and he continued falling and falling. Draco screamed and suddenly he jerked backwards before he appeared on the platform.
"You don't think, do you?" his father sneered, only this time he turned into Hermione. Draco looked twice, and instead of his father's unapproachable expression, Hermione looked like she had been crying for the last half hour. The tears streaking her cheeks slowly turned dark brown, and Draco came face to face with his mother, mascara streaming down her face. "Who are you to do this to me?"
Draco stepped back, surprised at the amount of venom in his mother's voice. "I-"
He flashed back to Luna and Hermione sharing a knowing look.
"Exactly."
"Malfoy...!"
"Malfoy...!"
"Malfoy!"
Draco opened his eyes to see Hermione staring at him with mild concern. He groaned and turned his back towards her. "Go away." He had no intention of getting out of bed today. Plus he didn't have a pair of pants to change into and he sure as hell wasn't going to wear pyjamas out in the public eye. Pyjamas were strictly reserved for the bedroom, thank you very much.
Hermione ignored him and began tugging at his sheets. "Seriously, this isn't your house. You have to be present at lunchtime, at least."
"You don't have any authority to boss me around."
"Luna sent me to make sure you were there for lunch."
"I'm not decent," Draco said, hoping she would blush and run off like a little school girl.
Apparently not. Hermione snorted and placed her hands on her hips. "When are you ever decent?"
Draco gave a low whine and willed the pestering girl to go away. There was a brief silence and Draco's heart entertained maybe his will had manifested into reality.
"I'm still here."
Draco opened his left eye to confirm this fact. "Yup, still there," he sighed, and pushed himself into a sitting position.
Hermione cracked a smile. "That's me being civil. Now I'm not." She dragged Draco out of bed by his arm, and he landed on the floor with a loud thud.
"I swear, when I get up, I'm going to strangle you," huffed Draco.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said Hermione as she left his room.
Draco flopped back onto his bed. I might collapse if there's anymore excitement today.
People ought to stop making those sorts of statements. He probably jinxed himself there.
Funny how things worked.