T'Sen saw Surak standing before her surrounded by a dreamy almost idealized memory of the great sanctuary. He was holding his fingers out to her. He smiled softly, "It's good to see you again T'Sen."
T'Sen looked around she could feel Sarek near and Surak now obviously. It was no wonder why Sarek reminded her so much of Surak, he was carrying his katra. "I melded here to learn the modern vulcan language, to lean the things I have not the time to learn." she swallowed and approached him, "I don't understand..." she pressed her finger tips against his, "I...don't understand."
Surak smiled ever so slightly, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face. "Do you think I would allow S'Vec to destroy my katra when there is so much to be learned, T'Sen?"
It was pleasant to brush his fingers to hers. He loved T'Lyn, and always would, but T'Sen was also a part of him, had borne a child by him...perhaps she could find some love in the man he was sharing lives with now.
"I have only ever wanted you to be content, T'Sen," he said softly. "Are you angry with me? I can feel your resentment...I deserve nothing better, after all I put you through."
Her eyes narrowed just slightly and she turned from him. Her breathing came quicker, part of her was mortified that he could sense her resentment, a resentment she suppressed for nearly 70 years. There was no hiding it here, in this place, "Does this man, Sarek, know? Does he know our truth? " she said in a clipped way, "I resent..." she confessed, "I resent I was not your wife." She turned back to him, "Nirak, is a good man, but..." she fell silent and looked away from Surak, unable to face him with this darkest of secrets now in the open between them.
Surak frowned, pained to hear her say that. "T'Sen, look at me..."
She turned and faced him with the same pain in her eyes he had seen when T'Lyn had left him. She had always loved him, it seemed, and he had been blind to it.
"Oh, T'Sen, how I wish I could erase the past. It pains me to see you in pain. You were always a part of me, and always will be...Sarek does not know. Not yet. But I believe he can sense your pain."
"I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt T'Lyn..." hot tears rolled down her cheeks, "But yes, Surak, I did. I always wanted you. The day you came to me to confess you still desired me, before you went to Seleya...It took all that I was not to demand a Kali-fee. I wanted to be your wife!" she said loudly, "Yet, at the same time I feel a pain for T'Lyn, so loyal and so devout, and history does not remember her. It remembers me, it remembers my clan..." she pointed at him, "Our clan." She shrugged, "So in the end did I have more of you than she did, it seems, but it was hollow when you turned to her for your fever. " she hung her head, "And yet I have Nirak, a good man who I do not burn for, who is no twin for my katra, I have done him a disservice."
"No one can change the past, T'Sen," he said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "We can only look to the future. Try to begin anew with Sarek at your side. And remember that I am the one at fault...for hurting you both."
She looked up at him with pain in her eyes.
"There are days when I curse logic, and curse the way I paved for my people, when I wish I could be like S'Vec and my father, and take you and T'Lyn...see, T'Sen? You were a better Vulcan than I. We all have our flaws, our dark desires...and now our world is threatened yet again. A clan war is brewing on the horizon, just like the days of old. And all for the power of one woman, who loved a flawed man."
"And take that away from T'Lyn as well. I know I cannot allow a war to come, not with S'Vec on the horizon still. But..." she shook her head knowing T'Lyn well enough to know that she would not protest, not for her, yet wondering what fate it would seal for her to take away the one thing she might have to hold onto. The legacy.
She saw the doubts in Sarek's mind that Amanda was truly Amanda, the brief history between he and T'Lyn. She knew Nirak and she, their bond was serviceable but not strong. He would have no problem finding another. She looked at Surak, "Is it your desire that I take this man as my bond mate, Surak? Is this the only way I can have what I was denied?"
"It is my desire that you be happy, T'Sen," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Perhaps a bond with him will make up for the 70 years of hurt I put you through. I have seen his mind...he is much like me. You will find him an agreeable mate...forgive me, that was...boastful."
It lightened his heart to see her smile at him, and she stepped forward.
"Can I have one thing before I go, Surak?"
He returned the smile. "Yes, ashal-veh?"
"May I have a kiss?"
He raised his hand and stroked her lovely pointed ear. "If that is what you wish, then I will grant it."
T'Sen stepped up to him, stroking his ears, running his fingers over his cheeks, "It was hell watching you die, Surak." she whispered and pressed her lips onto his, wrapping her arms tight around his body. In the back of her mind she felt him teaching her those things she had come to learn. She opened her mouth to him, caressing his tongue with her, coaxing it into a sweet dance. *Surak, I love you.* she thought to him, and the memories of their night of passion flooding her mind.
She pulled back wanting so much more, but knowing the only way she would have what she desired was to bond with, Sarek.
Sarek opened his eyes as the meld ended and stared at T'Sen, seeing her through new eyes. *Here is the one I want you to take as your mate* Surak had said, and Sarek raised an eyebrow. She was an agreeable female, so much less...Vulcan than the females he knew, yet so much more at the same time. It was a confusing conundrum.
"T'Sen?" he said softly, dropping formalities. For some reason he knew it would be acceptable. He wasn't sure how to proceed, and he looked to her for confirmation. Did Surak tell her as well?
T'Sen nodded, "Sarek," she said the formality gone in her voice as well. From the meld she knew he favored humans, because he had a hidden secret...he needed more so than most vulcan men, the feel of love. He was in a way, addicted to that aspect humans had been able to give him. She approached him, "Surak, you carry him now. How much do you know of...the past?" she tilted her head looking at him softly.
"Only bits and pieces," he replied. "He comes to me in dreams mostly, and we discuss things. When I wake I have no memory of it...until now." He tilted his head at her. "You're speaking modern Vulcan now," he said approvingly. "And with the most endearing accent."
Nirak smiled at her, but the smile she returned was pained. He knew they would have to discuss their future together, whether to stay together, or to break their bonds and go their separate ways.
"The accent is that of ancient Shir Kahr, the original one before it was watered down by..." she shrugged, "It matters not. Thank you." She turned to Nirak, who she could see had some inkling in his manner, and then back to Sarek, "I would speak to you again soon, Sarek, but must first speak with Nirak in private. He does not understand our words, in this modern tongue. I must..." she looked to Sarek, "I actually do not know what I must first do. Perhaps I need to speak with you first. Did Surak give you his...wishes in regard to your bond mate?"
"He only said to be cautious. Nothing more. And I...I have my suspicions."
She nodded. "Then, Sarek, son of Skon, if you would leave us?"
He bowed his head to both of them and left the room to go meditate on what just happened.
Amanda slipped out from the large ornamental pot with a smile on her face. So...Sarek, her erstwhile lover, carried Surak's katra. S'Vec would be pleased...but this T'Sen stood in her way. She knew Sarek had doubts about her, and it irked her. She had tried to initiate intimacy between them like the old days, but he only gave her half-hearted touches, nothing concrete, nothing passionate. He seemed...reluctant to consummate the renewal of the bond, and never melded with her like he did sometimes when they were together.
She shook her head and went back to her room, thinking on what to do next.
T'Sen looked at Nirak he had made himself comfortable with his feet up on the table. He was looking at her. There was nothing accusatory in his eyes, but there was a knowing. "You wish our bond to be broken then." he said bluntly. T'Sen winced at his honestly, for a moment confused but realizing that through their bond he knew some what of what had transpired, at least those things that had evoked a powerful emotion.
T'Sen opened her mouth, there was no easy way to say the truth. "I would find it agreeable."
Nirak nodded and let his feet slip from the table, "Then it will be your job to find me a new bondmate, since I am of this house and you now are the matron." He stood and cocked his head at her. "Can I ask a question?"
She nodded.
"What is it about Surak?" he snorted, "My cousin was never what I would call a comely man, his words were pretty enough, but..." he shrugged, "His countenance appears to be that of a sehlat who chewed through a fence to get a stick." he laughed slightly amused at his own description.
He saw her lips lift upward in a slight smile. "I don't know...he was the first man to make me feel...worthy of something. He instilled such hope in me...you did too, Nirak, and I thank thee for it. I will find you a worthy mate. Does species matter to you? Would you like a Vulcan, or shall I find you a human or a hybrid? Your personality is annoyingly charming enough," she teased, "so any woman worth anything would be very pleased to have you."
"I want a human. I have seen and learned enough of them that I believe myself suited for the that species, more so than a Vulcan or hybrid." he stood and approached her, "We will need a reldai to break our bond, T'Sen. I'd rather it be T'Lyn. I know she is skilled in such matters, and frankly this house's reldai I would not trust to heal a head ache." He nodded, "Thank you for the time we had and the children, T'Sen. May your new mate and you, live long and prosper." He raised the ta'al and bowed his head, "I will go remove my things from our room."
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
Solok was standing with Rowan on his hip when the shuttle arrived from Earth. T'Lyn and Roxanne stepped off, Roxanne ran to Solok kissing him on the cheek in front of everyone and lifting the baby into her arms, "Did Rowan and Daddy miss me."
Solok stiffened slightly, "Your absence was felt Ashaya." He nodded to T'Lyn, "Your absence was felt in a different way, T'Lyn. I have a man claiming to be your cousin in our home. He is a most…"
Solok was cut off by Nirak who bounded through Solok and Roxanne. In a swoop he picked up T'Lyn and twirled her in the air. Speaking ancient Vulcan he cried out, "Little cousin! I was told you were in Gol and I came and now you are here!" He dropped her to the ground and kissed her cheek, "You are a sight for the sunburn of my eyes that is your father. For all the Lava in the planes I could not make him laugh, or even smirk. He is worse than you described."
T'Lyn blinked, "Nirak?"
"The one and same." He turned and spoke in modern Vulcan, "Oh and who is this divine creature?" he bowed a courtly bow, "I am Nirak of Shir Kahr, lovely lady, and who might you be?"
Solok stepped forward, "This is Roxanne of Gol, and my bond mate."
"Peace, brother, I mean your family no disrespect." Nirak said with a small grin, "In fact, " he said putting his arm around Solok's shoulder, "We are family. T'Lyn is my cousin, so too are you and your bond mate!"
"Nirak, where is…T'Sen?"
Nirak turned to her and spoke again in the ancient dialect, "She will be here presently, T'Lyn, she comes with her new bond mate, or soon to be new bond mate."
T'Lyn shook her head, "What!"
Nirak looked over at Roxanne and Solok, "So emotional sometimes." He chuckled, "We have been here a month now, she has chosen a new bond mate, and I will not have the bond broken by anyone but you. "
Solok ushered Roxanne and waved T'Lyn, "Come it is unbecoming to speak on such things in public."
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
Amanda went to the back of the cave and activated a small device hidden there. A hologram of S'Vec popped up, "You have a report so soon?"
Amanda bowed her head, "I do master. I know where Surak's katra is held, and bring you other news."
"Speak."
"Sarek has Surak's katra, Master."
S'Vec smiled, "Oh that is most excellent news. Has he approached you about T'Lyn yet?"
"No master, in fact he is asking for our bond to be broken but it another he wishes to claim."
S'Vec quirked an eyebrow, "Another? I find it difficult to believe that. Who would Sarek claim other than T'Lyn?"
"A couple came unto the house, Master, Nirak and T'Sen. After a mind meld with the woman, which I saw, he came to me later and told me he wished to break our bond."
S'Vec's eyes widened slowly, he threw his head back and laughed, clapping his hands together, "Oh if I had planned it myself, I could not have done better. Wait! I did plan it, it just took two thousand years to come to pass! Tell me now, what did you say?" He said with a wicked grin.
"I told him I had to think on what he asked of me. Of course I wished your orders, Master." She bowed her head to him.
"Oh by all means give him what he wishes. Break the bond, and allow him his freedom with T'Sen!" S'Vec snorted, "Where is this Nirak now?"
"He has gone to Gol, Master, as T'Sen and Sarek will when they have my answer. Nirak said T'Lyn is the only Reldai he would trust to undo his bond with T'Sen."
S'Vec slammed his fist over and over into an unseen object as he laughed, "Oh this is priceless, Amanda, you have served me well, and you shall continue to. This is better than I could have dreamed. Go quickly to Sarek and give him his freedom. Demand as Nirak did that you have T'Lyn break the bond. If you can take Nirak as a mate do so, but keep me appraised of everything. Befriend T'Lyn, if you will, but keep your eyes on everything that transpires. The game is afoot now!" he slammed his fist again, and the hologram went dark.
Amanda walked from the cave carefully making herself cry, so her eyes would be puffy, she went to find her future ex-husband and his new potential mate. So S'vec has ordered, so it shall be done.