The night passed by swiftly.
Mathias and Lukas traded places with Tino and Alfred, though as hard as Lukas tried to fall asleep, he simply couldn't. Too many thoughts were rolling around inside his head.
When dawn came at last, Lukas sat up slowly, stretching a little.
His head had started to hurt a bit at some point during the night, and he winced as he touched his hand to his forehead.
Damn, I hope this goes away soon, he thought. No need to make this hell more hell-like than it already is.
"Something wrong?" Emil asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position.
"No," Lukas said. "Nothing."
Emil looked unconvinced, but dropped the matter. He stood up, and walked over to the window, looking outside.
"I miss the frost," Emil whispered. "I miss the cold."
Lukas stood up to join him, and said, "I do too."
"I just hope that one day we'll be able to see it again, y'know? It's too hot in the goddamn place now for anything good."
Emil cast his gaze down to the street below them. He bit his lip, and Lukas could see that Emil was trying incredibly hard to hold back tears.
He brushed a supportive hand against Emil's shoulder, but drew it back when Emil fixed him with a glare that clearly spelled out DON'T. TOUCH. ME.
Lukas sighed softly, then knelt to roll up the blanket that he had slept on, meticulously packing it into his backpack. There weren't many items in there. Not enough to last. Lukas hoped that there would be a better stockpile in Hamburg.
Behind him, Tino and Berwald were having a conversation. Tino's voice had started to get a bit heated, and Lukas listened in.
"Why didn't we keep going? We could've kept walking. We're all strong enough to do that," Tino said, scowling a little, the expression out of place on his usually cheerful and bright face.
"We need to stay safe. Being out in the night is dangerous, even for us," Berwald said in response.
Tino didn't seem happy with that response, but Alfred called out to the group before he could respond.
"Let's get going then, we've got some ground to cover!"
They filed out of the library, Lukas casting a glance backwards to make sure they didn't leave anything behind. There was nothing, nothing except the soft sunbeams of light shining in through the windows that were filled with dust particles. It was almost a peaceful scene.
Lukas turned to face the open door, and the world that lay beyond it.
The streets were cracked, the sidewalks stained, and the windows broken. It painted a grim picture, a harsh reality.
They walked in silence.
Just when the edge of the city came into sight, Lukas heard a sound.
A scratch of metal on cement. A creaking of mechanical joints. The whirr of gears and engines turning, and the growl of some inhuman creature snaking its way through the streets.
The Beast came into view, bursting out from inside an alley.
It was larger than the average one that Lukas had fought, measuring about twenty feet in the air. Its face looked like something out of a nightmare, the broken skull of some animal paired with metal, gears, and two haunting glowing red eyes.
"Run," Emil whispered.
"Fight!" Alfred yelled, and charged toward the thing, unslinging his assault rifle as he ran.
The sound of shots echoed out, and the Beast recoiled a little bit, its left eye dimming.
This shouldn't be too hard, Lukas thought, and he raised his rifle to aim at the right eye. There's a lot of us and only one of it.
And then he heard them.
More sounds, almost identical to the sound of the first Beast.
Coming from all around him.
Lukas whirled around, and made out the shapes of six different Beasts stalking toward their group, moving slowly yet surely and with a catlike grace.
"Now do we run?" Emil asked, his voice filled with terror.
"Yeah," Mathias said. "Yeah, that might be a good idea."
Emil took off sprinting, and Lukas followed after him, not checking behind him to make sure if the rest of the group was following or not. He knew that Mathias was, he'd recognize the familiar fall of the Dane's footsteps anywhere.
A flash of silvery grey metal, and a Beast leapt in front of them. It stalked toward them, head tilted menacingly. This one only had a single eye, brilliant red and glowing.
Emil seemed to be frozen to where he stood, only trembling and looking up at the Beast with wide, scared eyes.
Lukas dove in front of him, and Mathias skidded to a halt beside Lukas.
"Let's take this thing down together," Mathias said, and he aimed his rifle at the eye.
Lukas followed suit.
They shot at the same time, the sprays of bullets hitting the Beast directly in its eye. What they shot at it should've been enough to destroy the red sphere multiple times. The thing should've exploded and gone back to whatever metal hell it came from.
But it didn't.
Instead, the eye dimmed by just a hair. And if horrific mechanical monsters could look angry, then this one sure did.
"Run," Mathias said. "I'll hold him off, then meet you at Hamburg."
"Hell no," Lukas responded, aiming his gun again.
He shot. Then shot again. Then shot a third time. Spray after spray of bullets hit that red eye. It dimmed a little each time, not enough to make any difference. Not enough to destroy it.
The beast started to stalk forward, moving with an almost feline grace. Its movements were tauntingly slow.
Mathias placed a hand on Lukas' shoulder, and Lukas stopped firing.
"Lukas. Please go, you've gotta protect Emil," he said. "I'll be with you again before you know it."
"You're coming with us. We're all going to make it through this alive," Lukas responded. "I'm not leaving you."
Mathias placed himself in front of Lukas, then turned to give him a brief smile and a wink.
"I'm not planning on dying, Lucky, I've got too much to live for," he said. "Now go. I promise I'll see you in Hamburg. Anywhere closer is too dangerous. Go."
He gave Lukas a gentle shove, then turned back around to face the Beast.
Emil tugged at Lukas' arm.
"He can't fight if he's trying to talk to you," Emil said. "We need to run. We'll meet him in Hamburg."
Lukas could hear the fear in Emil's voice. He was completely torn. On the one hand, the man that he loved was standing in front of a metallic monster. On the other, his little brother, one of the most precious things in the world to him, was terrified out of his goddamn mind.
Trust Mathias. He'll meet you in Hamburg, just like he promised. Mathias doesn't break promises.
But how can he know? How can anyone know anything in this godforsaken world…
Emil made his decision for him by starting to sprint, and tugging Lukas' hand.
"Let's fucking go!" Emil yelled, and Lukas had no choice but to follow him.
He didn't look back. He couldn't. His resolve to leave the person he loved behind was weak enough as it was, but he knew that he couldn't leave Emil to himself. Mathias could protect himself on his own better than Emil could, that was something that Lukas knew for sure.
Emil was faster than Lukas had thought, and he had to work hard to keep up to his little brother. Maybe if he ran fast enough, the memory of the sad yet determined expression that Mathias had worn when they parted would dissipate in his mind.
They didn't stop running until they were far, far away. Far enough that they couldn't hear anything except for the dead silence and their ragged breathing.
Lukas could feel a tear start to form in the corner of his eye, and he shook his head furiously.
He's going to be fine, a part of him reasoned with himself. He did promise.
"Lukas," Emil panted, "Lukas you made the right choice."
Lukas gave Emil a brief smile, a small, grim, ragged ghost of a smile. There was a lump in his throat, and he knew that if he had to say much he'd burst into tears. And that was something that he couldn't afford to do.
"I hope," he said with difficulty, clipping his words short. He looked up at the buildings around them. "We should get going again."
Emil nodded, and they took off, this time at a walking pace. They needed to conserve their energy.
Soon, the buildings started to thin out, and eventually they reached an open meadow on the edge of the city.
It was filled with dead grass, yellow and broken, with a leafless tree scattered here and there. It was fairly large, and the road in front of them was stained suspiciously brownish red, and Lukas had a feeling that he didn't want to know what had transpired here.
There were a few bones as well, scattered alongside the edge of the highway.
A small crack rang out, and Emil made a noise of disgust as his foot punched through a human skull. He shook his leg to dislodge it, and the skull tumbled toward Lukas' feet.
Lukas knelt, and trailed a finger along the top of it. He didn't really feel it, he hadn't really been feeling much apart from shock and anger at himself for leaving Mathias behind.
He felt a pang of pain, and looked down to see a fragment of bone lodged in his finger. A bead of scarlet blood had started to pool up around it, and as Lukas gingerly picked the bone out of his skin, a small drop fell to the asphalt.
Lukas stared at it for a few seconds, until it became indistinguishable from the rest of the red-brown highway.
He stood.
"Let's wait for a little while by that tree," he said, gesturing toward a dead tree a little way off the edge of the highway.
Lukas' voice sounded emotionless, and speaking without crying was a difficult task.
Go numb. Make it to Hamburg. Don't let emotions weigh you down.
Easier said than done.
"We can't wait for long though," Emil said, and they started heading toward the tree. "Mathias said Hamburg, so let's try to get there as soon as we can."
"Okay," Lukas responded. "An hour. We'll wait an hour."
Emil looked like he was about to argue, but his attachment to Mathias and his empathy for Lukas' love for the Dane won out.
"Yeah," he said. "If it was Leon I'd want to wait too."
They sat on the dead grass, and Lukas leaned his back against the tree. He was tempted to close his eyes, to sleep, but his heart wouldn't allow that.
He barely blinked, his gaze fixated at the point where the highway emerged from between the buildings.
Half an hour later, a bit of movement caught his eye.
At first, Lukas was worried that it might be a Beast. He heard Emil draw in a breath in anticipation, but they both relaxed a little as they made it out to be a human figure.
Please be Mathias, please be Mathias, please be Mathias, he thought.
The figure came closer, and it became apparent that whoever it was had a heavy limp. As they walked a bit more, drawing closer to the tree, Lukas was able to make out some features.
A mop of blonde hair, small in stature, a face that normally wore a cheerful smile on it but now was marked with a worried, panicked expression.
Tino.
Lukas felt ashamed of the wave of disappointment that hit him at that revelation. He hadn't realize how desperately he'd been hoping that it was Mathias…
"Tino!" Emil yelled, jogging toward the highway. "It's us!"
Tino looked up, and as Lukas followed Emil he made out the ghost of a smile cross Tino's face.
"Lukas, Emil, you guys are alive…" Tino's tone had a hint of relief in it, but the rest was weighed down by anxious concern. "Where's Mathias? And have you seen Berwald?"
Lukas bit his lip, preparing to answer Tino's question, but Emil beat him to it.
"He stayed behind. We're gonna meet him in Hamburg, at the camp," Emil said. "And no, you're the first person that we've seen exit the city so far…"
Tino nodded, a sad, tired, pitiful nod that made him seem like something small in need of protection.
"The thing, the Beast, it shot some sort of dart at my leg," Tino said. "Berwald told me the same thing, that he'd meet me in Hamburg. I told him there was no fucking way in hell that I'd leave him. Then… then he said that Peter needed me, and I knew he was right…"
Tino shook his head angrily, and Lukas saw a tear fall to the ground.
"It's okay," Emil said, and he gave Tino a small hug. "Berwald and Mathias don't break promises. Remember that time that we were lost in the forest somewhere in Denmark? They promised they'd find a way out. Sure, we spent a while in the woods, and I almost froze to death several times, but they did! They got us out."
Emil paused, thinking.
"Then there was that time when we got separated from Berwald in Hammelev, remember? It was kinda like this, except there were a whole lot more Beasts. He told us that he'd meet up with us at the edge of the city, and he did. He was a little worse for the wear, that's for sure, I don't think that scar on his arm has faded, but that's not the point. The point is that they're going to be fine, and they're going to meet us in Hamburg. So let's start walking."
Lukas looked at Emil, and it was all that he could do to not burst out into tears.
Tino gave Emil a small smile, and said, "You're right, Em, we've got to get going."
Emil gave Tino a little hug, then turned to Lukas.
"It's okay, he'll be there," Emil said, giving Lukas a hug as well.
Lukas found that he didn't want to let go. He wanted to hold onto someone, he wanted to hold onto Mathias. He wanted to protect Emil. He wanted life to go back to normal, like the way it was before everything happened. He wanted… he wanted to give a happy life to the people he loved.
Finally, Lukas let go. Emil stepped back, and there was a knowing look in his eye. It was sympathetic, and Lukas hated being pitied.
He gave a little nod.
"Let's go," Lukas said.
They started walking again. Tino tried to fill up the silence with chatter, but his thoughts were so scattered that nothing he said made much sense. His limp grew more and more pronounced, but he marched stubbornly onward.
Eventually, they stopped talking altogether, and just walked in silence.
The sun made its way across the sky, and they only stopped once to eat something. (They were reminded by Emil that they needed food, Tino and Lukas were far too wrapped up in their feelings to notice what they physically needed.
Lukas pulled out a packet of beef jerky. He wouldn't eat it all, he had to save some for later. In fact, Lukas didn't think he could eat more than a little without throwing up.
He put a piece in his mouth, and chewed slowly.
It tasted dry.
Lukas swallowed, and ate another piece. The process was almost mechanical in motion, and Lukas felt more like some automaton than a living being.
"We should start walking again," Tino said. "We've got maybe an hour of sunlight left? And we've got to stay safe. We have to make it to Hamburg."
Lukas nodded, stowing the rest of the beef jerky back in his bag. He took a swig of water from his water bottle, then looked at how much was left.
Fuck, I'm almost out.
He had another water bottle in his backpack, a small one that he'd carried just in case Emil needed an extra.
"How much water do you have?" Lukas asked Emil.
"More than you," Emil responded. "If you run out, you can have some of mine."
Lukas shook his head, and said, "I won't run out, but thanks."
They started walking again, and soon the sky began to grow darker and darker as night approached.
Eventually, they made out a town in the distance, the buildings reaching upward toward the sky.
"We won't make it there before night sets in," Lukas said. "And the cities aren't safe if you're out on the streets at night."
"How about we stay in that bus stop?" Tino asked, pointing toward a small structure a little bit ahead. "It's not much, but it'll keep us more protected than we are right now."
"Sounds good," Emil said.
They made their way over to the bus stop, and Lukas took his blanket out of his bag.
There was no way in hell that he'd sleep, but it'd be more comfortable to sit on a blanket than on the cement.
Tino did the same, spreading his blanket out beside Lukas' and sitting up straight.
"I'll watch," Lukas said.
"I won't be able to sleep. We'll both watch." Tino bit his lip. "Maybe they'll pass by in the night."
"All three of us are going to stay up anyway," Emil said.
"Go to sleep, Emil," Lukas responded. "You need your rest."
"So do you, I know for a fact that you didn't sleep at all last night," Emil shot back. "Dammit, Lukas, I'm not sleeping until we find Mathias and Berwald and the others."
Touché.
"Fine then," Lukas said. "We'll all watch together."
They sat like that for a while, all of them retaining a rigid posture as they stared at the road.
Soon, Emil began to slump a little bit, and his head kept falling forward. He was desperately fighting to stay awake, but exhaustion was quick to set in. Emil rested his head on Lukas' shoulder, and his breathing slowed to be deep and even.
Lukas turned to Emil, and gave a soft smile.
He wasn't sure if he regretted leaving Mathias or not. Well, he knew that he regretted the act of leaving him, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to feel happiness until they'd been reunited. But what he wasn't sure of was whether he'd rather save Emil or Mathias. His little brother or his lover.
Lukas was completely torn, but sitting there, softly trailing his fingers through Emil's pale silver hair, he got some sense of inner peace. Not happiness, but a quiet, thoughtful feeling.
He sighed.
His eyes drifted shut.
He blinked a few times.
You've gotta stay awake, you've gotta…
His eyes drifted shut again.
And he fell asleep.